Welcome to the third chapter of Bar Wars, where everyone is drunk!
Jak: ALMOST!
Cir: Okay, almost everyone. Now here's the third chapter! Thanks for the idea Dean, I could use that at the end...
Daxter and Pecker: Uh-oh...
BAR WARS: THE FAT MENACE
Chapter Three: More Problems!
Everyone screamed at the sight of the grenade falling. "Quick Odi Wack Kanoe, use the forks!" Daxter said.
Torn barked like a dog, picked up the grenade in his mouth, and swallowed it. Everyone stared at him, forgetting about the stomping noised that were getting louder.
Torn puffed up for a second, then acted like nothing had happened. He hickuped at Pecker.
Veger walked out of the backroom first. "Either you run, or..." Metal Kor broke through the wall. "...he gets you."
Daxter threw his banana at Kor, which he was allergic to, causing him to break out in metal hives. "AGH! That's it!" Metal Kor said before kicking Daxter out the door. He landed on the road and saw three four eyed metalheads that dive at you to attack looking down at him.
Daxter leaped back in the bar. "So, yuv sent yer solders ater meh?" he slurred before hickuping a few times.
"What?" Krew, who was floating beside Metal Kor, asked.
The metalheads broke through the door and dove at Praxis. He took out a crowbar and began to use it like a sword. He used his "bar saber" to kill a metalhead.
"How humilliating. Killed by a bar," Metal Kor said, shaking his head, which was trouble for Veger, Crocay and Brutter (Samos was hovering beside Metal Kor).
"We're up here you know!" Veger screamed while holding on for dear life.
The other drunks took out crowbars and killed the metalheads. Pecker threw his taiser at Metal Kor. "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Metal Kor staggered and fell over, stunned. Veger pulled himself out from under the metalhead leader.
"Prepare to ie, Dart Maul!" Ashelin said before throwing her bar at Krew. Krew dodged it and picked up Daxter.
"I want you to stop being drunk and PAY ME YOUR TAB!" he spat at the drunk ottsel. Samos was healing the damage in Metal Kor with green eco when Tess hit him with her bar. Then Torn growled like a dog and leaped at Samos, only to fall on Erol halfway there. Erol pushed him off and threw his bar, which hit Veger in the face.
Veger screamed and threw the bar back. It hit Erol square in the face as well and he fell over. He was still conscience, seeing as he was slightly singing. "My old lady wants me to eat some kinda murshroom, and it pasted bad..."
Daxter bit Krew's fingers and jumped on a zoomer that was parked in the bar. "Catch me if you can't!" he yelled before driving at the wall, making the zoomer explode. He staggered outside and highjacked another one. He drove it to the industreal section, after crashing about fifty times and getting lost in the metalhead nest.
Krew jumped on his private zoomer and went after him.
Back at the bar, things were getting rough. Seem had arrived and was immediantly tied to a chair, a dark maker had gone in for some beer and gotten drunk too, and Torn was beating Veger with a crowbar.
"That's IT!" Metal Kor sent a beam from his forehead into the middle of it all, knocking everyone to the side of the room. But the blast also blew off the front wall. All the drunks ran in different directions through the city.
"We must finned Darth Maul!" Jinx said to Damas.
"I'll say, heh could beh cousing havoc!" Damas slurred.
Daxter looked bhind him and saw Krew catching up. Bad idea. He accidently hit the lever that changed hover zones and ran over a few guards. The freedom guards ran after him, seeing as they could tell he was driving drunk.
Krew was passed Daxter and waiting for him for the next few mintes, seeing as Daxter was going slower then a snail. Daxter finally reached Krew and Krew grabbed him. Daxter bit him, again, and began driving away.
Jak arrived on the transport back at Haven City. "I wonder how everyone's doing," he said before seeing the metalheads overrunning the city, seeing as their main problems were all drunk. Vin ran passed Jak. "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEE!" he was screaming as a few scorpion metalheads ran after him. Jak shot the metalheads, and a few citizens by accident.
Daxter drove by Onin's tent for the eighth time. She was beginning to wonder what he was doing. (I noticed that in Jak3, it shows Onin in multiple spots, but it never shows her walking.)
Krew had decided to wait at the lap mark until the zoomer ran out of gas. "You'll never get me, Darth Maul!" Daxter said each time he passed. Then one time he didn't pass, for he had driven into the door of the ammo dump. There he found Erol. "Air-guy, whater ya doing here?" Daxter asked.
"Well Anakin, I'm getting this tank thingy to charge at Darth Maul, and is evil minioms," Erol said drunkly.
Jak walked to the Naughty Ottsel (Krew hadn't had time to rename it) when he noticed there was no front wall. "What's going on?" he asked old man Kor, Veger, Crocay, Brutter and Samos.
"You're drunk friends are destroying the city!" Veger said. "And they think they're Star Wars characters! The entire guard is looking for them!" Then Tess walked by, beeping like R2-D2.
"I see your point," Jak said.
And that's the chapter Jak comes into the plot!
Jak: I thought I was going to come in halfway through.
Cir: Changed my mind. Can anyone guess who they'll think Jak is?
Jak: Darth Vader?
Cir: He doesn't come in this story.
Jak: Luke?
Cir: Doesn't come in.
Jak: Jak?
Cir: (glares) Review!