Time for chapter four! And since no one's guessed why this is called Bar Wars, it is:

Jak: 1, they were in a bar, 2, they're using crowbars.

Cir: Correct, thanks for the reviews, on with the story!

BAR WARS: THE FAT MENACE
Chapter Four: Haven Drunks

Daxter and Erol burst through the ammo dump door in a security tank. "Die Darth Maul!" they both said before hickuping. They aimed the cannon at Krew and fired. Krew sacraficed his zoomer to not die. "No! Zoomy!" Krew said while sulking over the wrekage. Erol and Daxter attempted a high five, but missed and hit the fire button, and since the cannon was pointing backwards, it blew up the ammo dump. The security tank went flying, along with its two passengers.

Kor walked along, trying to find the drunks, when the tank landed on him.

Torn had taken one of the freedom league hellcat cruisers. He was flying high over the city, shooting anything that moved. Jak saw him, went Light Jak and flew up there. He landed in the passenger seat. "Torn, I-"

"Hi Sidious!" Torn said drunkly to Light Jak. "Ya member meh, Obi Wack Kanobe?" Light Jak stared. "Have some of the magic drik!" With that Torn stuffed a pint of beer into Jak's open mouth.

Light Jak coughed. "Torn, I need you to get less...less...ehhh..." Light Jak fell off the cruiser and fell to the roads.

"I killed the emperior!" Torn paniced, accidently hitting the "drop beer" button. A tidal wave of beer fell from five thousand feet.

Light Jak staggered and coughed again. "I'm gonna get him for that!" Jak said. Then he looked up and saw the beer falling right at him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... ..."

Samos hovered around to find his drunk daughter. He found her, along with Pecker, Jinx and Ashelin. He took out some green eco, hoping it would make them sober. Pecker spoke. "Approachen is an intridor," he said drunkly and Yoda-ish.

The other three charged at Samos, weilding their crowbars. They began pounding him, when he threw the green eco at them all. The three fainted, and Pecker ran away. He thinks he's Yoda, and Yoda can't fly...or can he?

Brutter and Crocay found Praxis and Damas. They were talking drunkly. "I tackle big on, you small one," Brutter said to him. Crocay dove at Damas who hit him flying into the port's water. Then Damas hickuped and fell into the water two. Praxis jumped in a hover-car and drove away. He blew up after three feet and began running.

Veger and a few freedom guards went after the remaining, when they found an unturned security tank in the middle of the slums. Veger got the guards to remove it where they found a squished Kor. "What happened to you?"

Kor made himself 3-D again. "I was walking along, looking for those idiots, when that tank flew out of no where and fell on me!" Kor said.

Erol and Daxter jumped onto a zoomer and crashed away. The freedom guards ran after them but Krew caught Daxter first. "Well well well, what do we have?" Krew said.

"Hep meh Qui-Gon Jinn!" Daxter said and Erol turned at him.

"That's meh!" Erol said and Torn came beside him, still in the hellcat.

"I'm yer partiner!" he said. They flew at Krew, and completely missed, hitting each other instead.

Krew floated over to his bar and threw Daxter on a stool. Sig was still sleeping peacefully. "Now pay me your tab, ey?"

"Neva, Darth Maul!" Daxter said. "I know who yer worken for, Sidious!"

Krew groaned and hit Daxter. "Sober up, will you?"

Torn and Erol staggered up to the bar.

Kor saw Jak lying on the ground in Light Jak form. He was shaking. "So much beeeeer..." he was mumbling as he twitched. "Sooooooo much..."

The disguised leader kicked some sense into him. "Thanks Kor," Jak said. "Hmmm... Those are two words I never thought I'd hear in a row..."

Pecker ran throught the metalhead area that used to be grass. "Eat me don't!" Pecker said as three scorpion metalheads and a four eyed one chased him. "Taste bad I do!"

"No you don't!" the four eye said.

"Yeah, I've even tasted your wings!" a scorpion said.

"Wings I don't have, arms I have!" The metalheads laughed at him.

Praxis met up with Tess. They did think they were C3PO and R2-D2.

Back at the bar, Sig was still sleeping peacefully, holding his poopsy bear. "Would you untie me?" Seem yelled at him. He rolled over and faced away from her.

Torn and Erol took out their crowbars and began beating the freedom guards, thinking they were evil robots.

"What do we- OUCH- do?" one asked.

"We- OUCH- can't beat them up, they're- OUCH- high ranks!" another replied.

"Oh yes we can!" A third guard sacked Erol and punched Torn. "Now let's run before they recover!" The guards fled away from the two.

Brutter jumped on Damas, hoping to trap him. He was wrong. Damas fell backwards, trapping Brutter. Then he threw up.

"Gross!" Brutter said, shaking himself.

Erol and Torn had somehow gotten a hold of the security tank again. Citizens ran away screaming as the two drove around chasing Veger. "For the last time I'm not a bad guy!" he screamed, but he might as well have told them that he was evil for all they cared.

"Is something wrong?" Kor asked Jak, who was staggering a lot.

"Nothing's wrong," Jak said before hickuping. Kor glared at him. "Alright, Torn poured tons of beer and most got in my mouth," Jak said before hickuping. "But I'm still fi-" He fell down and got back up with some difficulty.

"Wow, you're wasted," Kor said.

"AM NOT!" Jak said before throwing up. Kor glared at him again.

"Aren't you a bit angry at Torn?" Kor asked.

Jak twitched. "No, I'm fine, not angry... Happy... I'LL KILL HIM!" Jak went Dark Jak and ran over Kor. "TORN, YOU'LL DIE!" he roared.

Jak: Will Torn die?

Cir: Of course not! He's a main character! Anyway, I need to write another chapter of Bar Wars. In the meantime, review, and I'll be happy!

Jak: You will?

Cir: (takes out energy sword)

Jak: Wrong video game.

Cir: Okay. (shoots Super Nova at him)

Jak: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH-