Chapter 37 – Unexpected Complications

The next morning, Harry was supposed to be released from hospital. Remus still had his things at Hogwarts, even though he had spent the past nights at Grimmauld Place, so he wanted to use Dumbledore's request to come to his office early in the morning to get some things she needed. His surprise when he flooed into the headmaster's office and found his suitcase as well as Harry's trunk standing against one wall was big. Dumbledore got up from his chair and went over to greet Remus.

"Good morning, Remus. Just in time. Can I offer you a cup of tea?"

"Good morning, Albus. Tea would be fine, thank you."

He sat down in a chair on the other side of the headmaster's desk and accepted the cup Dumbledore handed him. It was strong breakfast tea with just a hint of milk, just like Remus liked it. He had never fully understood what others found in coffee, he drank it occasionally, but he'd prefer a good tea anytime.

"The healer said that Harry would be released after the morning examination. I think we can fetch him at around nine."

Remus nodded. "As his things are standing packed here in your office, I take it he won't come back here?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I imagine that he'll feel more comfortable together with his friends. He'll be back here in less than two weeks, it might be good for him to get a bit distance to the castle before that."

"What about security questions?"

Dumbledore shrugged slightly and took a sip of his tea. "Of course he's safer here than in London. By far. But we all have to admit that the Branson murders did not prove to be the start of what we anticipated. Everybody is busy, but not as busy as I thought they would be when I decided to bring Harry to the castle. Not to the degree that Harry's safety would be jeopardised. Severus is still in no physical condition to continue their Occlumency lessons, so if Harry wants to go to Grimmauld Place, I don't see why we should keep him from doing so."

Remus nodded, feeling that this was not all Dumbledore had asked him to come for. The headmaster remained silent for some long minutes, then he put down his cup of tea.

"I imagine that while I bring Harry and his and your things to Grimmauld Place, you might want to visit Sirius. He is awake now. I took the liberty of announcing your upcoming visit to him yesterday evening at the Ministry."

Remus' eyes widened at Dumbledore's words and he leaned forward. "He's allowed to have visitors?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"Then why don't Harry and I go to visit him before we go to Grimmauld Place?"

"I doubt that it would be a good idea if Harry visited him just now."

Remus frowned. "What is wrong, Albus?"

Dumbledore sighed. "It is too early to say anything definite about his condition now, Remus. He has only woken up a day ago, he's probably still very confused. But Harry imagined Sirius to come back the way he was before, and at the moment I don't think that Sirius is quite the way he was before."

"What is wrong with Sirius?", Remus repeated. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Maybe it's just a temporary condition, but I'd feel more at ease if you visited him without Harry first and made up your mind about it. When I visited Sirius last night, the healers said he had been awake for quite a few hours already. The problem is that his condition hasn't improved any."

"What do you mean?"

"He is awake. Obviously, the healers say that he reacts to physical stimuli – muscle reflexes, his eyes react to light, all that. What he doesn't react to is everything else. He doesn't speak, doesn't seem to listen when spoken to. He just lies in bed and stares ahead."

"What do the healers say?"

"That they can't say anything as of yet. It could be a temporary condition, or it couldn't be. They just don't know."

Remus felt a sick feeling starting to spread in the pit of his stomach. That didn't sound good, not good at all. There had been risks, of course, but if he was honest with himself, after Sirius had been brought back physically, Remus had entertained the belief that everything would be all right. That Sirius would wake up, be his old self again, cheerful persona and bark-like laugh included. Not the depressed Sirius who had been caged up at Grimmauld Place, a Sirius who finally had the chance to start living again. That it might not be so was a crushing thought. Maybe temporary. Maybe permanent. Merlin, please let it be temporary.

They finished their tea in silence, then Dumbledore shrunk Remus' suitcase and Harry's trunk, and while Remus pocketed his own belongings, Dumbledore picked up Harry's trunk. They flooed directly from the headmaster's office into the hospital's entrance hall. Here, Remus stopped the old headmaster before they proceeded.

"If you don't think it's wise for Harry to visit Sirius, then it might be better if you fetched him alone. As soon as he gets to know that I'm going to visit Sirius, he'll want to come along and there won't be any convincing him otherwise."

Dumbledore nodded. "You are right. You know which ward Sirius is in?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll bring Harry to Grimmauld Place. I might still be there when you come back, if you don't mind sharing your impressions with me, I'd want to talk to you about it."

Remus nodded. "Sure. I'll let you know when I'm back. I don't think it will take hours."

Dumbledore looked at Remus for another moment, though try as he might, Remus could not interpret the old headmaster's gaze, then Dumbledore went away in the direction of Harry's room. Remus took the elevator up and turned his steps down a corridor to the secluded ward where Sirius was. As soon as his condition had stabilised, Sirius had been brought here, away from the centre of the hospital. Here, it was far easier to guard his room and to keep him from getting into any contact with the other inmates of the hospital. After all, Sirius was still officially labelled as an escaped convict, so he needed to be secluded and guarded. But Remus didn't think about that as he walked down the corridor towards the door to Sirius' ward. Dumbledore's words were still ringing in his head and he was trying to make sense of them.

What could it mean that Sirius was not reaction? That could have a lot of meanings, and maybe twice as many possible explanations. It could mean that Sirius was still somewhat confused and exhausted, and thusly not behaving like his old, exuberant self. But wouldn't Dumbledore have noticed that? Wouldn't he have kept it to himself if he considered it just a passing condition? Remus didn't know the answer to those questions, and he probably would not find it in the few moments that would pass before he entered Sirius' ward and found out for himself.

In front of Sirius' ward was a table, and two Aurors were positioned there to guard the door and checked who entered the ward. Remus was relieved to find that one of them was Kingsley Shacklebolt. Tonks obviously was out of question for the job because she was related to Sirius, but nobody would consider Kingsley a risk of security for the prisoner. After all, Kingsley had been the one who had hunted Sirius for the past years. Nobody at the Ministry knew that Kingsley had been aware of Sirius' whereabouts all the time. Remus didn't know the other Auror, but he didn't worry that one of the two would stop him from visiting Sirius.

Kingsley looked up as Remus approached.

"Good morning", he said, not giving any indication that he knew Remus at all. "Can I help you?"

"I wanted to visit Mr. Black", Remus said, like Kingsley not letting it show that he had had a pleasant chat over dinner with Kingsley just the previous evening. "The visit should have been announced at the Ministry."

Kingsley pulled a piece of parchment out of a book that lay in front of him and produced a quill.

"And your name would be?"

"Remus Lupin."

Kingsley scanned the list, found an entry and wrote something on the parchment. Then he opened the book in front of him and handed Remus the quill.

"All visitors have to sign in. We have to check you for hidden weapons and you have to leave your wand with us."

Remus nodded, changed the quill from his right hand into his left and signed his name into the list of visitors to Sirius' ward. The list was short, other than an entry for Dumbledore, there were only the names of two Ministry officials who had come before the Hogwarts headmaster. On the other side of the opened page there was a list for the nurses and doctors to sign in. That list was remarkably longer than the one with Sirius' visitors. Remus checked his watch and added the time, 9.05, then he handed Kingsley the quill back.

Kingsley checked what Remus had written, then he closed the book again. "Your wand please."

Remus pulled his wand from the pocket of his robes and handed it to the tall, black Auror, then he took a step back and waited patiently for the younger Auror to spell-search him for any concealed weapons.

"All right, you can go see him now Mr. Lupin. Keep in mind that Mr. Black is a Ministry prisoner. It's my duty to inform you that any attempt you might make at freeing him will lead to immediate prosecution. As will any attempt at enabling Mr. Black to keep contact to anybody outside of St. Mungo's. Also, Mr. Black is a potentially dangerous man, so it would be wise not to provoke him. Should you get into any trouble or should Mr. Black need to be subdued, call us in immediately. That's about it, you have fifteen minutes."

Remus had to hide a smile. The Ministry didn't want Sirius to get into contact with anybody, yet they allowed him to have visitors and had unknowingly put somebody up as his guard who probably regularly gave Sirius all the information he needed. Sometimes, the Ministry was illogic, even bizarre in their actions. But that was perfectly all right with Remus for now, as long as Kingsley was on duty for a few hours every day, at least during that time Sirius was safe from any attempt the Ministry might make to stop him from getting a fair trial. Remus still wasn't convinced that Fudge would easily accept freeing Sirius and thusly showing the public just how fallible the government was.

Kingsley got up from his chair and produced a key ring from the pocket of his robes. Selecting one of the keys, he stepped up to the door and Remus followed him. They were a step away from the other Auror now, but not far enough to ensure that the man would not hear what was being said between them. Kingsley opened the door and gestured for Remus to enter.

"Good luck", he said lowly, and there was something in his voice that made the worry about Dumbledore's earlier words flare up again. Maybe it wasn't bad at all, maybe it really was only a temporary confusion. And maybe he was just telling himself that to avoid being hopelessly crushed if it proved not to be. Hesitantly, Remus entered Sirius' ward, his heart beating fast in his chest. No matter what Dumbledore's words meant, it could not be that bad. Sirius was back, that alone was an improvement over Sirius being dead. Everything else they would deal with. Sirius was alive, that was all that counted.

Remus found Sirius lying in his bed, on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He looked gaunt and tired, though not as bad as he had done directly after his escape from Azkaban. Remus was no healer, but he guessed that more than two months caught in the void had taken a physical toll on him. Sirius looked definitely as if he could do with a couple of nourishing meals. His cheeks were hollow, his normally so expressive blue eyes were sunken and numb, and his face had the pallor of candle-wax. A few days in the sun definitely wouldn't hurt. There were a few thin streaks of grey in his shoulder-length black hair which had not been there before he had fallen thought the veil, marks of weeks of physically and mentally challenging times. But Sirius had not reacted in any way to hearing the door being opened, or to the sound of steps approaching his bed.

When Remus stepped up close, he found that indeed he had not been mistaken earlier. Sirius' eyes were open, and he was staring numbly up at the ceiling. But not as if there was something greatly interesting to find there. On the contrary. His gaze was numb, unseeing, with nothing at all behind it. He blinked occasionally, but not often, and it was obviously just an automatic bodily reflex. Something inside Remus' chest clenched together.

"Sirius? Sirius, it's me, Remus."

Sirius didn't react, not even a blinking of the eyes which Remus could have taken as a sign of recognition. The blue eyes just continued to stare numbly at the ceiling.

"Padfoot, it's me. Moony. I can't tell you how glad I am that you are back."

Again, Remus received no reaction. With shaking fingers, he reached underneath the blanket that was pulled up to Sirius' chest and took hold of one of his friend's hands. Sirius' skin was reassuringly warm, and on his wrist Remus could feel the comforting and steady pulse throbbing against his fingers. But as he squeezed Sirius' hand, there was no reaction.

Remus swallowed down his fear and frustration, and without letting go of Sirius' hand he pulled up a chair with his foot and sat down beside the bed.

"I don't exactly have much time, they're going to call me out soon. Talk to me, Sirius, please. You're back now, you're safe. Please come back, please don't do this to me. To Harry. He needs you, Padfoot. You have to be there for him now. You don't even know what lengths he went to bring you back, you can't let us down now. You have to come back."

Remus sat beside his friend's bed for the better part of the following fifteen minutes, talking without receiving any reaction at all. He told Sirius about Harry, how happy his godson was that he was back, that he needed Sirius now. But no matter what he said, no matter what he did, he received no perceptible reaction at all. Sirius was breathing, he blinked occasionally, and whenever Remus reached for his pulse he found it strong and steady. But those were the only visible signs that Sirius was alive, and not a dead body on a bier.

After what hadn't felt like fifteen minutes at all, Remus heard the door being opened, and Kingsley's voice calling out to him.

"Mr. Lupin, your time is up."

Remus nodded without looking at the door and got up from his chair.

"I'll come back as soon as I can", he said, squeezed Sirius' hand once more, released it and turned towards the door. Even as he left, Sirius remained in his previous position, still staring up at the ceiling. Kingsley waited for Remus to pass, worriedly trying to meet the other Order member's gaze, but Remus refused to look at him. He passed Kingsley and went over towards the desk where he signed out and received his wand back. Without saying another word, he turned down the corridor. He had to hold himself back from not downright storming towards the elevator, but though it was an effort, he forced himself to walk slowly. Kingsley might guess that the visit had not gone like Remus had imagined it to go, but he didn't need to know just how much it had shaken Remus. And shaken him it had. Down to the core. This was not Sirius. It looked like Sirius all right, and he didn't seem to have suffered any severe physical damage that had changed his appearance. But this lack of response, this lack of any other then the physical signs of vitality were horrible. This was just a shell, a shell that had once housed Sirius' cheerful and energetic self. And now it seemed empty. Remus was scared by this, far more scared than he had been by anything in a long time. So far, nothing had managed to break Sirius. Of course, Azkaban had left his marks, Remus had more than a year of experience with Sirius to say that. But even twelve years in the wizarding prison had not managed to get to Sirius that way, they had not managed to tear his core away. Ten weeks behind the veil seemed to have done that job pretty thoroughly, though.

And Remus was worried how Harry might take that. He knew that Harry would be devastated if he was confronted with his godfather in such a state. Right now Harry needed the reassurance that what he had done had been worth the risk, he certainly didn't need this unresponsive person who only outwardly resembled the godfather Harry had missed so much. And Remus would not allow Harry to be hurt any further. He would find out what had changed Sirius, find out why he was the way he was now. And then he'd go and change that.

But first, he needed to find out what could be the possible reason for Sirius' state. And for that, he needed to ask the only other person who had been involved into bringing Sirius back. Severus was the only other person who had been to the place where Sirius had been caught, if anybody knew what had happened to him there, it was him.

That resolution firmly in his head, Remus entered the elevator, took it down into the lobby and went over to the public fireplaces.

Upon arriving in the castle, he was still as confused about Sirius' reaction as he had been before. And he knew that it would not be easy to get the answers he wanted out of Snape. On the contrary, if Snape was set on not answering Remus' questions, then it would be impossible to get any useful information out of the potions master.

Dumbledore had said that Snape was still too weak to resume his Occlumency lessons with Harry. That might be the case, and it might also be true that Snape had no desire to continue those lessons until he had given Harry a good telling off about what the teenager had forced him to do. If he would resume the lessons at all. But no matter his physical state, Remus doubted that Snape was still lying in bed. Remus knew his former classmate rather well, and if he was not all that mistaken then Snape would not be lying in bed anymore if nobody had physically restrained him. It was a feeling Remus could relate to, and so he was not surprised to hear the potions master bid him enter only a moment after he had knocked on his workroom door.

"Severus, good morning."

Snape was standing behind a worktable, a smoking cauldron in front of him and jars and vials of ingredients orderly lined up to his right. A book was floating in the air a few inches above the table so that Snape could consult it whenever he needed without the danger of spilling anything onto it. Snape was glaring at Remus as he entered the room, clearly showing him that he didn't care at all about the unexpected intrusion. The only sign that he had not been physically well only recently was the way he was leaning onto the counter for support, and the long-legged chair that was standing next to him so that he could sit down if his strength ran out. His glare, however, was as strong as ever.

"Lupin? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

Snape shook his head. "Not now. I've got work to do."

Despite those words, Remus stepped further into the room and went around the workbench. He threw a glance into the book, trying to determine what it was that Snape was brewing there. He didn't recognize the potion, but that didn't have to mean anything. His potions knowledge was limited, to say the least.

"Does Albus know that you're working again?"

"I was not aware that he needs to be informed immediately about everything I do. Or are you trying to blackmail me, threatening to go tell on me if I don't talk to you?"

"Nothing of the above, Severus. I was just thinking that he might not like to see you up and about again so shortly after you nearly died. Much less see you working again."

Snape only shrugged. "I appreciate his concern, but he knows that it's futile to tell me what to do. So, will you finally tell me what it is that you're here for, or have you come for no other reason than to annoy me?"

"I visited Sirius this morning."

Snape raised an eyebrow and emptied the contents of a small vial into the cauldron, upon which a light yellow sheen started to spread across its amber surface.

"And that is my concern because…?"

"Do you know what happened to him?"

Snape stirred the brew in the cauldron and finally looked up to meet Remus' eyes.

"What do you mean 'what happened to him'? He was as good as dead and I was forced to bring him back. That's what happened to him, at least as far as I know. I thought that information had already reached you, as well."

"I know that, Severus. That is not why I'm here. I wanted to ask you if you noticed anything strange when you attempted to bring him back."

Snape hesitated for a moment, then he suddenly put his stirring-spoon down, extinguished the fire under the cauldron with a wave of his wand and sat down on the chair. There was a strange emotion in his eyes, only for a short moment, but though Remus could not say what it was, he noticed it.

"What is wrong with Black?", Snape asked in a tight voice. Remus pulled up another chair and sat down so that he was facing his former classmate.

"At first I didn't know what to make of it when Albus told me that Sirius was unresponsive when he visited him. I thought he maybe was still confused or shocked about what happened."

"That was not what he meant?"

Remus shook his head and sighed heavily.

"I wish it was, but no, it was not what he meant."

Snape strangely didn't press Remus, he merely watched him until Remus started to talk again.

"Basically, Sirius is unresponsive, just as Albus said. He gave no sign of recognition during my entire visit. There is no sign of life in him except from the physical signs. Something is horribly wrong with him, and I need to know what it is."

Remus had the impression that Snape had paled somewhat while he had been talking, but given the other man's normally waxen complexion and his physical state during the past days, he could not tell for sure. As if to evade answering the question, Snape slowly got up and walked over to one of the counters to pour himself a cup of tea. He didn't offer a cup to Remus, but then again Remus hadn't expected him to. Snape took a sip, sat back down and took another sip. Remus' patience was running thin, but he managed to remain calm for the moment.

"Severus, I know that I might never truly understand what you did when you brought Sirius back. But I can see that something has changed. Something vital about Sirius is different, just as if an integral part of him had not returned. And I need to know what has caused that. I need to know what that means."

Snape sighed and put his cup on the table next to himself.

"I told you when you first came to me with that ridiculous idea for the first time. I told you that Necromancy is nothing that can be controlled properly, especially if it is performed by a Necromancer who is not trained properly. And knowing you as well as I do, I'm sure you've read everything about Necromancy you could get your hands on in the short amount of time you had. So what is it that you want to know of me? Some souls come back from the netherworld and are…changed. Different. Put it as you like, but there has never been a guarantee to get Black back the way he was before. Now, to my mind most changes about him would be an improvement, but the moral evaluation of it aside, there isn't much I can tell you. Sometimes, those things just happen."

"What things?"

"That souls are not brought back entirely. That people who are resurrected have changed."

"Do you want to tell me that I simply have to accept it? That this shell in the hospital bed is Sirius, and that this is all there is to it?"

Slowly, Snape nodded.

"I would not know a way to remedy that. Black has been somewhere where no living human soul was ever supposed to be. That is an experience which is bound to leave its marks, and in his case it might very well be that his mental capacity has suffered."

"His mental capacity has suffered? You're talking as if this was just something that happens occasionally, like a potion boiling over! I for one won't accept my best friend becoming a lifeless shell as collateral damage!"

Snape calmly shook his head and picked up his teacup again.

"First of all, a potion boiling over is not something that happens occasionally. At least not to somebody who knows what he is doing. It is painfully obvious that you wouldn't know anything about it, but I have not prepared a faulty potion for years, just so you know. And secondly, I would say it's far too early to tell whether Black has suffered any permanent damage, so I really don't understand what you're making such a fuss about."

"What happened, Severus?"

Remus' face was close to Snape's, and he stared hard into the black eyes in front of him. Snape stared back just as hard, all emotion vanished from his gaze.

"I won't let you load any responsibility for Black's state on me, Lupin. I refused to attempt bringing him back, and I would not have done it under any other circumstances. I did it solely to stop Potter from killing himself, nothing more. So you can't fault me for anything."

"This is not about placing the blame, Severus. I was there, I know what happened. And I know that you did not exactly volunteer to bring Sirius back. You saved my life with what you did, do you really think I would start blaming you for anything now? I simply want to know what happened, because I am sure that something did happen. And all I want to know is what that is, so that I can try and do something against it."

Snape raised his hands in indignation. "I do not know what happened, is that so hard to understand? I do not exactly remember much about what happened during my attempt to bring Black back." He got up from his chair and walked over towards the wall opposite of the fireplace. "Do you have any idea what it is like to perform a necromantic rite?"

He stood in front of his bookshelf, running his finger along the spines of the books as if seeing them for the very first time. His back was turned towards Remus, though, and he made no move to face him.

"No, I don't", Remus said lowly. Snape nodded.

"I thought as much. It's like throwing yourself in a lake full of piranhas to find the single goldfish that is somewhere in there. And there is no hiding what you are, they know it immediately. They latch onto you, trying to pull you in deeper, trying to make you take them back. It's easy to get lost, and I got lost. I just don't remember what happened. It was pure luck that I got out of there alive, and even more luck that I brought Black alone. I do not know how I did it, I cannot tell you if anything happened, and I do not want to talk about it any further. Not now, and neither at some point in the future. Leave now."

He remained standing with his back to Remus, and the only movement Remus could see was the raising and falling of his shoulders in time with his breaths. More rapid than before. Agitated. Clearly, Remus had touched a topic Snape didn't want to think about. As it was obvious that his former classmate would not speak to him anymore, so Remus got up and left the workroom. Severus remained standing in the same position for some long minutes, then he drew a deep breath and went back to preparing his potion.