Chapter 42 – Taking the Risk

The next morning wasn't one of the good ones, Remus knew that immediately. A lack of sleep was not something one got used to, so even after the exhausting past weeks Remus felt horrible upon waking up after a restless night of tossing and turning. The conversation with Harry had kept Remus from falling asleep for a long time. Wallowing in memories was something Remus had learned to avoid during times when it was too painful, yet this time he had not been able to stop the thoughts from coming. The little he had told Harry had evoked painful memories, really painful memories, of the time when his world had still been spinning on its axis. Carefree, that's what they all had been. Alive, most importantly.

With those heavy thoughts on his mind, Remus dragged himself downstairs into the kitchen for breakfast. He was just finishing his second cup of tea when the door opened and Kingsley stepped into the room. The Auror looked as if he had been through a hard night, his eyes were bloodshot and his robes were crumpled. The same robes he had been wearing the previous evening, Remus noticed. Kingsley made a beeline for the coffeepot, then he sank down into the chair across from Remus with a weary sigh.

"Hard night?", Remus asked. Kingsley took a deep gulp of the coffee, closed his eyes for a moment, then he slowly nodded.

"Awfully boring. I had the nightshift guarding Sirius' room. Not that there's much to do, mind you. The healers come in twice a day to give Sirius potions, the nurses come six times a day to check in on him. And the nightshift starts after the last nurse check ups at six and eight, so basically I spent my night sitting in an empty corridor, staring at the wall and trying not to fall asleep."

"I hope you have at least the day off now."

Kingsley nodded. "Until four in the afternoon, then it's back to the Ministry for me. I'm going to hit the bed as soon as I've eaten something."

He drained his coffee, got up and prepared himself a sandwich which he carried over towards the table.

"I've got some not so good news, I'm afraid."

"Is something wrong with Sirius?"

Kingsley quickly shook his head. "No, nothing happened. But I talked to his healers this morning."

Remus frowned. "They talked to you about his condition?"

Kingsley shrugged. "Officially, now that he reappeared, I'm still in charge of the investigation concerning him. Got even pulled off my new assignment for it."

"What did the healers say?"

"That by now all the mind-healers St. Mungo's employs have had thorough looks at him. Obviously, he's some sort of test-case for everybody who wants to have a shot at treating him. They seem pretty clueless, if I'm honest."

"What are they going to do?"

"Nothing much, I'm afraid. They said that as far as their examinations show, they cannot come up with a way to cause a change in Sirius' condition."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that they'll keep him in St. Mungo's for the time being, but that for now they cannot do anything for him."

"They haven't given him up after just a few days already?"

Kingsley shrugged. "I wouldn't say that they've given him up. So far, nothing they've tried has yielded any results, but that doesn't mean they won't keep on trying. They said that cases of what was the word they used for it? Mental retreat, that was it. They said those were either caused by psychological trauma after which the patient withdraws in himself to protect himself from what happened. Or it could be due to magical influence, and that would mean the healers have to counter whatever magic caused the condition in the first place. Obviously, they tried every approach they could think of, everything they had used in previous cases similar to Sirius'. With no success. As of now, they're stalling and don't admit just how clueless they are, but let's face the obvious. Whatever worked on other patients didn't work on Sirius. And the longer his condition is going to last, the more we're heading to the conclusion that it might be a permanent condition. And there is the chance that whatever Snape did to bring him back hasn't brought him back entirely. In that case, I doubt that anybody will find a way to bring him back."

A flood of unpleasant images entered Remus' mind at those words. Sirius, lying in that ward in St. Mungo's for weeks, or maybe even longer. Healers pretending to treat him, when in all honesty they were only prolonging the admission that there was nothing they could do to save him. And finally, when the admission had inevitably come, Sirius would spend the rest of his days in a nursing home or some similar place, staring sightlessly up to the ceiling until his body followed to wherever his mind had retreated.

Remus shook his head as if physically chasing away those thoughts. He would not allow that. He simply refused to allow that.

"I'm no healer, so correct me if I'm wrong. But the possible reasons for Sirius' state are limited. Either something went wrong during the process of bringing him back and he didn't return entirely. Or Severus managed to bring him back, and he has for some reason withdrawn into himself, so far that the healers cannot manage to coax him back out with whatever they tried."
Kingsley thought about that for a moment. "I'm no healer either. It sounds logical enough to me, but if people who have studied cases like these cannot come up with an explanation or a way to cure him, I don't really know how far logical reasoning will bring us."

Remus downed the last of his tea and put the cup into the sink, together with his empty breakfast plate. He turned towards the door.

"Well, if those healers can't find a way to bring Sirius back, then somebody else will have to do it."

"What are you planning to do?"

Remus stopped on his way to the door. "Everything I can to do achieve just that. Bringing Sirius back."

Kingsley had a disbelieving expression on his face, but he didn't say anything as Remus turned and left the kitchen.

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Like during the day before, Harry went to visit Sirius at St. Mungo's. Fortunately, the other inhabitants of Grimmauld Place seemed to have understood Harry's desire to see his godfather, and he no longer needed to ask for being brought to the hospital. The visits were arranged at the Ministry, and somebody brought Harry to the hospital to see Sirius. Mostly that was Mr. Weasley, or Bill and Charlie. Order members who could be seen in his presence without appearing to be suspicious And whenever Kingsley was on guard duty in front of Sirius' room, Harry did his best to pretend that he didn't know the Auror. Life was complicated.

When Harry came into the basement kitchen, Remus had already left, and Kingsley had gone upstairs to grab a few hours of sleep before he had to return to duty. When he came down, Bill and Charlie were sitting at the table, talking to Dung. All three looked up as Harry entered.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, Harry. Breakfast is on the stove, we should leave in about half an hour."

Harry nodded and filled a plate with porridge, though he was not particularly hungry. As he sat down opposite of Dung, the man looked up at him from blood-shot eyes.

"All right, Potter?"

Harry shrugged and swallowed his porridge. "For now. What brings you here?"

Dung shrugged. "I have to see a man about a…about business later today, and I thought I'd make a short stop here to see what was up. And you? Going to visit Sirius, from what I hear?"

Harry nodded. "Yes. Maybe he's doing better today."

"Maybe", Dung said, but his voice indicated that he didn't quite believe in that possibility. Harry ignored him and spooned down his porridge without tasting anything. When he was finished and had emptied his second cup of tea, he, Bill and Charlie set out for St. Mungo's.

It was always the same procedure. Somebody made sure that the floo connection was safe and that no ugly surprises would await somebody who wanted to use it, then somebody went through to secure Harry's arrival, followed by Harry and somebody else to cover their backs. Harry didn't particularly care for those security measures, but he guessed that they were necessary. Necessary for someone who was Harry Potter, that is.

Bill went first, followed by Harry and Charlie. Nobody in the entrance hall of St. Mungo's paid any special notice to them as they cleared the soot off their clothes and turned towards the staircase. It was always a strange feeling to walk through the hospital, amidst all those people with their different purposes for being here, purposes not unlike Harry's own. It was a strange realisation that there were others who worried about a loved one. Others for whom Sirius' name was nothing but the memory of a gruesome murderer. Harry didn't like those feelings one bit, he didn't like to be torn between sympathy for the other visitors here, and anger at them because they only worried about their own lives and were not one bit concerned one bit about the fact that another person's life had been ruined. An innocent person, a good person, whom they had branded as a murderer and betrayer. And even now nobody seemed to care that he ever existed. Not the people who didn't know him, and neither most of those who knew him. And that hurt.

Bill and Charlie didn't talk very much as they went up to Sirius' ward. It wasn't that they had nothing to say to each other, but rather that those visits in St. Mungo's – like visits to hospitals in general – had a subduing effect. This time, Harry didn't know the two Aurors who guarded Sirius' room. Kingsley didn't seem to be on duty, and none of the other Aurors Harry had already seen here was there, either. Not that Harry cared much who it was who searched him for weapons and gave him the lecture about what and what he was not allowed to do during his visit. Bill and Charlie remained out in the corridor with the two Aurors, and with a rapidly beating heart, the teenager opened the door and entered Sirius' room.

Maybe. Maybe today things were different. Just maybe.

Harry couldn't help getting his hopes up that maybe today was the day that Sirius would be sitting up in his bed, smiling at him as he entered. There was no worse feeling than that of having his hopes smashed as soon as he looked at the bed. Sirius was not awake, he was not sitting up in bed, and neither did he show any sign of recognition as Harry stepped up to the bed. He was lying there just like he had done during Harry's previous visits – eyes open, unmoving, staring unfocusedly ahead at the ceiling. Breathing and blinking occasionally, but otherwise there was no sign that he was alive.

Harry walked up to the bed on wobbly legs, pulled up a chair and sat down. He took Sirius' limp hand between his own and squeezed it tightly. No reaction.

"Hello Sirius, it's me. Harry."

Keeping up a one-sided conversation was not easy without feeling stupid doing it, but Harry kept on telling himself that somewhere deep down, Sirius knew he was there. Sirius heard him, and he understood.

"I hope you're doing better. It's not as if anybody was telling me what the healers say about you, but I really hope you'll be better soon." He drew a deep breath. "There isn't much of the holidays left, and if you're still in here when I have to go back to Hogwarts, I won't be able to visit you anymore. At least not every day. And you know how much of a fuss they sometimes make about me to keep me safe, I don't know just how difficult it will become to get here to St. Mungo's. Though if I ask Remus, he'll surely help me."

Sirius blinked, but it was one of those reflexive blinks, nothing that even the most deluded person could have mistaken for an attempt to communicate wordlessly.

"I've had a talk with Remus yesterday. I…He is always trying to make sure that I'm all right. It's a good feeling to know that somebody cares. But I'm worried about him, as well. Yesterday evening, he told me a bit about you, and your time together at Hogwarts, to cheer me up, but I think it was really hard on him. He was so sad and resigned, as if everything that counted in his life lay in the past. I…there are moments when I can understand that feeling, but I'm worried that he can't feel any differently anymore. He needs you back just as much as I do, you know? And even if we two are the only ones who still give a damn, shouldn't that be enough for you to come back? Please, we need you."

Harry resolutely wiped a hand over his eyes, even though Sirius wouldn't have noticed it if he had been bawling his eyes out at the moment. But still he didn't want to sit here and cry.

"My O.W.L. results should come any day now", he said, searching for a topic that increased the level of normality in this already strange conversation. "Not that I worry overly much about them, but I have to make up my mind about next year's classes before the term starts. I guess I'll talk to Ron, ask him what classes he takes, then I'll talk to Remus. If anybody, he should know. Being a teacher and all, I mean." He paused for a moment. "I really don't understand why he can't come back and teach at Hogwarts. He really was the only decent Defence teacher we've ever had. All right, a lot of people are prejudiced against werewolves, but still. I think most of the parents might be convinced that he's no threat to anybody if he takes his potion. Most of the students I can think of don't mind it, he's just too good of a teacher. He's patient, he takes the time to explain things to every student. And he gives nobody the feeling that he's stupid, or incapable, like Snape does. I've asked myself whether he always wanted to become a teacher. I don't know, he just seemed so…at home at it. As if it was all he ever wanted to do. And he had this briefcase with Professor on it, even before he came to Hogwarts." He laughed harshly. "I should probably ask Remus himself, shouldn't I? It's just…well, I know that he didn't want to leave Hogwarts, wouldn't have gone had Snape not told everybody about his lycanthropy. And I know how difficult it is for him to find a job, so I guess I don't want to tear open any wounds. I don't want to make him uncomfortable by talking about it."

Again, he squeezed his godfather's hand tightly, forcing himself to consciously notice the warmth of his skin, to make himself aware of Sirius being alive, despite everything that spoke against it. Sirius was alive. He would come back.

"I don't sleep overly well since the night we brought you back. I told Remus about it, and he said it might be connected to what I did that night. If you were here you maybe could tell me more. I think – and I haven't told Remus that – I think those dreams are about being there, and they're not good. Maybe you would know how to make them go away. You're the only one who has been there as well. Aside from Snape, but I can't ask him about it. He probably won't even talk to me. He's angry that he had to come after me into the Department of Mysteries. But you'll probably understand better than anybody why I can't ask him about the nightmares. It's not that they're even really nightmares, I can't really say what they are, but something about them scares me badly. When I get back to Hogwarts, I should probably ask Madam Pomfrey if she knows what can be done against them, because slowly I could do with a night of uninterrupted sleep." He sighed. "But what I want most is to have you back, Sirius. I want you back, please. I can do with sleeping awfully bad for the rest of my life, but I want you back. Just for once I want things to be normal. Please."

He squeezed Sirius' hand again, and his heart sank as he heard the door behind him being opened.

"Mr. Potter? Your time is up."

Without turning around, Harry nodded and got up from his chair. "I'll come back tomorrow. Bye, Sirius."

He gave his godfather an awkward and unanswered hug, then he turned around and left the room. Bill was waiting outside, leaning against the wall. Seeing that Harry came out of the room, he stepped up beside him and wordlessly waited until Harry had signed out and his wand had been handed back to him. Then they went down the corridor towards the staircase.

"Charlie is waiting downstairs for us. He found out that a former classmate is working as a nurse here, and stopped by to chat."

Harry nodded and for a few moments, they walked in silence.

"Did anything change about Sirius' condition?"

Harry shook his head and bit his lower lip to keep the emotions from overwhelming him.

"No", he croaked out, more shaky than he had wanted it to sound. "He's still the same."

"The healers here are good. They'll figure something out."

Harry only nodded, and Bill seemingly understood that he wasn't up for conversation right now. They descended the stairs in silence and reached the foyer. They quickly found Charlie, leaning against the counter behind which the nurse who handled the new admittances sat. The two of them were chatting amicably, but when Charlie saw them approach, he said a few quick sentences to the nurse, flashed a smile, and came over towards them.

"Everything all right?", he asked as he reached them, the smile somewhat vanished from his face.

Harry nodded.

"Sirius?"

Harry shrugged. "Still the same."

Charlie's face twisted into something that might have been the attempt at an encouraging smile, but it wasn't entirely convincing. They turned towards the public fireplaces and Charlie put a hand between Harry's shoulder blades and gently steered him. Bill went first, then Harry stepped into the flames and flooed away, followed by Charlie. Back at Grimmauld Place, Harry felt a little disoriented. The important part of the day was over, and now he'd need to find something to occupy himself with so that he wouldn't start brooding again. But searching for distractions didn't turn out to be half as easy as it sounded, as Harry had learned over the past days. Bill and Charlie both fetched themselves something to drink and settled at the kitchen table, and Harry seized this chance for distraction, fetched himself a glass of pumpkin juice and sat down with them.

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Libraries sucked. Coming from Remus Lupin, this was a statement of revolutionary content, but this day he would have signed any statement proclaiming this notion. Libraries sucked. He had never before experienced the feeling that there was nothing, absolutely nothing helpful to be found anywhere, nothing that would have helped him to understand what was going on with Sirius and how he could make right what had gone wrong. But by now, Remus had leafed through everything about Necromantic rites he could lay his hands on, had been to the Hogwarts library, the British Wizarding Library which was to be found in the hidden wing of the British Museum in London, and had even made a detour to Paris to spend four fruitless hours of research in the Bibliothèque Nationale de la Magie, the biggest wizarding library in all of Europe. Short of closing in on the smaller, more obscure libraries he knew of, he was feeling helpless.

The way back to England from France was a lengthy floo travel from public fireplace to public fireplace during which he had enough time to think about the fact that he had no idea what to do next. The last part of the trip was supposed to take him from Hogwarts back to Grimmauld Place, using the safe floo connection that now existed between the school and headquarters. But as he stepped into the flames and called out his destination, nothing happened. With a sigh, he climbed out of the fireplace again. Somebody was having a conversation via the floo at headquarters, so he'd have to wait until they were finished before he could floo there. He pointed his wand at the fireplace and cast a quick spell which would turn the flames green as soon as the connection to Grimmauld Place was available again.

With a sigh Remus turned away from the fireplace and dusted his robes off with another flick of his wand. He had flooed to the antechamber of the Great Hall, the fireplace that most of the Order members used when they detoured over Hogwarts on their way to Grimmauld Place. Nothing much in here to occupy himself with while passing his time, though. Nothing much but staring out of the window, so he went over to the small plane of glass and looked out at the grounds. It wasn't a great view, either, from here he could only see a very small edge of the lake, still in the summer afternoon. In the distance the Forbidden Forest was looming darkly despite the sunlight, and else Remus' view was filled by a blue sky above and green lawns descending from the castle towards the forest. The view served to occupy Remus for exactly a minute, then he turned around and checked the fire. Still occupied.

For a lack of anything better to do, Remus inspected his tattered robes, checking whether he had missed some spots of soot earlier. None that he could find on his clothes, but on the back of his hand. Instead of using his wand for that little spot of soot, he pocketed the wand again and rubbed over the smear of black with the thumb of his other hand. It came off easily, revealing the thin white line that was the scar reminding him of that fateful night which had set everything that had happened during the past weeks into motion. The scar that was the sole visible reminder of the blood bond he shared with Sirius.

Remus froze.

A thin line across the back of his hand, a bit more than two inches long. But a scar which no healer was able to erase, because the wound had been part of a magical connection. A connection to Sirius. One of the strongest bonds known to the wizarding world, and it connected him to Sirius.

It couldn't be, could it? Why hadn't he thought about it before?

He kept staring at the back of his hand for the next couple of minutes, as if it could tell him the answers to all the questions in the universe.

He had read up on blood bonds after discovering that he might share one with Sirius, he should have seen this possibility before. But of course back then he had searched for a general way to bring Sirius back and had found none. But shouldn't it be possible? Of course, if Sirius' soul had remained behind the veil and only his body had come back, there was probably no way to change Sirius' condition, blood bond or not. That was a realisation Remus had put away from his consciousness for the past days because he had not wanted to accept its reality. But if he had for some reason withdrawn into himself, if his experiences behind the veil caused the mental retreat the healers had talked about to Kingsley, then couldn't the blood bond be a chance to bring Sirius out of his retreat?

Forgetting all about his intention to floo back to Grimmauld Place, Remus left the ante-chamber and hurried up to the library again. Maybe libraries didn't suck that much after all.

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The following evening, an unsuspecting nurse went down a lone corridor in St. Mungo's, one of the few corridors in the hospital which wasn't occupied. Not occupied except from the single room at the end of the corridor, in front of which two Aurors sat on guard duty. Even at night at least one Auror was there, and nobody could enter the ward without signing in. The nurse wasn't used to these procedures, it was not a practice that was usual at St. Mungo's, yet during the past days everybody who was working on this floor had been forced to get used to. It wasn't everyday that the hospital was treating Ministry prisoners, after all.

One of the Aurors looked up as she approached the desk, but after checking her name-tag and the time, he let her sign the register.

"I hadn't even realised that it was already eight", the Auror said. The nurse only laughed.

"Fortunately. My shift ends at half past, and I doubt I could stay here for any longer. I've been on a double shift, it's quite enough for one day."

The Auror smiled sympathetically. "Know what you mean, I got the night shift later. Well, let me know if anything about his condition has changed."

The nurse nodded and entered the ward. She couldn't imagine that anything had changed about the man's condition, there had been no sign indicating anything would happen anytime soon. Sirius Black. Of course the nurse knew him, had heard the stories, and every time she entered she could feel a small shudder run down her spine. As lethargic as the man was now, it was hard to imagine that he had committed all the crimes he had been accused of, but she should never forget that he was a dangerous man. So she quickly but thoroughly went through the evening routines of controlling Black's vitals, actualising the notes on his patient's file, checking the monitoring charms. Once all that was done, she breathed an inaudible sigh of relief and left the room, heading towards home and her well-earned night off.

The room remained silent for ten minutes after the nurse had left, the only sounds being the very low sounds of breathing coming form the bed. Then, suddenly, there was the rustle of fabric in one corner of the room, and Remus Lupin was standing right where only a moment before an empty corner had been.

Remus wasn't sure whether he was doing the right thing. Absolutely not. But fact was, he didn't have any alternative. Nothing about Sirius' condition had improved, and the healers didn't know what to do to trigger an improvement in his condition. Which meant effectively that they had given him up. Nobody said so as of yet, but seeing that there was nothing they could do for him, he'd keep on vegetating in his momentary state from now until doomsday. And that was something Remus would not accept. Not if there was something he could do.

He had researched blood bonds as thoroughly as it had been possible since the idea had crossed his mind the day before. He had searched specifically for ways in which a blood bond between two wizards could be actively used and manipulated. The literature had not exactly been plenty, but it had given him an insight into the potential of this kind of bond. And basically, he didn't know if he could make matters worse with what he was about to do. Probably nothing could be worse than Sirius' momentary condition, nothing except from death. And death at least would be a final answer.

So Remus had spent his day in the Hogwarts library, had spent a few restless hours of sleep at Grimmauld Place, had set out for Hogwarts again to make the last preparations, then he had come to hospital and waited until after dinnertime. Not that Sirius was a recipient of dinner. He was given nourishing potions twice a day, that was all. There was a regular check-up at four in the afternoon, and then the nurses came by for another round at six and eight o'clock each. Fortunately, Kingsley had provided that information, unknowing what Remus would use it for. Remus had waited for that last round, hidden under Harry's invisibility cloak. Actually, Kingsley had given that to him with the purpose that Remus returned it to Harry. Seemingly, Dung had re-organised the cloak he had accidentally misplaced some time ago, and knowing that Harry might wand the cloak back, Kingsley had given it to Remus. He'd return it tomorrow, for tonight he had had use for it. Harry would understand.

When the nurse had entered Sirius' ward, Remus had slid in behind her, silently and invisibly waiting in the corner of the room until she had checked Sirius' status, had written something onto the clipboard-chart that was hooked to the foot-end of the bed, had checked the monitoring spells on Sirius and left. Remus had let another ten minutes pass until he was sure that the typical early night of a hospital had settled over St. Mungo's, then he prepared to begin.

He locked the door to Sirius' ward, though that would not keep anybody from coming into the room for too long. But Remus felt more confident that way. Then he folded the invisibility cloak, put it on a chair, pulled the knife he had brought from Grimmauld Place out of his pocket along with a piece of cloth and stepped up to the bed. Sirius was lying motionlessly on the bed, like he had done for the previous days. No change at all. He was still staring unfocusedly ahead at whatever it was that he was seeing. Probably nothing, but there was no way of telling.

Remus' hands were actually shaking slightly as he pulled down the covers to Sirius' waist and revealed the scar that ran across his belly just underneath his navel. If only he could be sure that this was the right thing to do. He wasn't sure, there was no sort of scientific proof that what he was planning would yield any result. The only reason on which he founded what he was about to do was a bit more than a day of researches and the strongest gut feeling he had ever had. Something inside of him was convinced that the only way to bring Sirius back was through the blood bond. And as there was no way for Remus to access the bond, he'd simply have to…reopen it and see where that would take him.

Remus didn't know if he had to reopen their wounds from the night the blood bond had been forged, but he didn't think that was a necessity. The connection was already in their blood now, to open it again renewed connection of blood should suffice. Which was good, because Remus' wound had been on the back of his hand, and getting that into contact with Sirius' wound would become difficult. Back then, both of them had been bleeding badly, but he didn't intend to give his friend a seriously bleeding wound tonight. The loss of blood would not be critical for either of them. The connection Remus was about to create would be. If Sirius had indeed retreated into his own mind, and if Remus would not manage to bring him back, then it was more than just possible that he would not be able to break the connection again. And if that happened, he'd soon have his own bed on which he could lie next to Sirius, staring up sightlessly at the ceiling.

He thought for a moment longer, then he pulled the blanket up again and picked up Sirius' hand. The knife he held in his other hand, and for a moment he battled down his hesitations and fears. He had to do this, he had to try and bring his friend back. There was no time for worrying now.

"I don't want to hurt you, Padfoot", he whispered to his friend and squeezed his hand tightly. "But we need you back. So please forgive me."

With a last breath to steel himself, Remus sat down on the mattress beside Sirius, knife in one hand. Before he could think about it again and possibly even change his mind, he ran the sharp blade of the knife across the palm of his right hand, creating a cut that wasn't too deep, but that bled freely for now. Immediately, blood started welling up from the cut. Remus stared at the crimson droplets for a few seconds, then he turned towards Sirius and ran the blade along the inside of the hand he was holding. Hopefully, Sirius was not losing enough blood to trigger any of the monitoring charms the healers had placed on Sirius. But that was beyond Remus' influence now.

Remus quickly put the knife away onto the bedside table and intertwined the fingers of his right hand with those of Sirius' left, pressing the bleeding cuts together. His own fingers were holding on tightly to Sirius' pale hand, but Sirius' fingers limply hung between Remus' own, applying absolutely no pressure. Well, hoping for an instant reaction would have been deluded. Remus took the piece of cloth and awkwardly tied it around their intertwined hands as tightly as he could, reassuring himself that their hands would stay the way they were now even in case his strength to hold on to the grip of his hand ran out.

That was it. No way back now. Remus could only hope that he was not about to commit the greatest mistake of his life. But right now there was no time for those contemplations. Right now he needed to focus on solely one thing. Sirius. There was nothing more important now than Sirius.

Remus breathed in deeply, very deeply, and closed his eyes.