Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Fourteen: Seeing Her for the First Time

The two weeks Ellie had spent with Mrs. Manning over the Christmas holidays had been an absolute nightmare. Mrs. Manning had never got over Ellie's (perfectly reasonable!) outburst in the living room. Ellie counted down the days till it was time to return to Hogwarts.

Finally, the day arrived, and Ellie was sitting on a train on her way to London again. Mrs. Manning had decided that Ellie could manage the trunk on the train, as she was now an inch or two taller. Why this made a difference Ellie wasn't sure. She suspected the real reason had something to do with the smoke that had practically come out of Mrs. Manning's ears when the taxi driver had told her the cost of the fare the last time they had come to London…

Mrs. Manning shocked Ellie by suddenly being very friendly when they got to the train station. She made a royal fuss about saying goodbye, which both embarrassed and confused Ellie immensely. As Ellie was running towards the entrance to platform nine and three-quarters with her trunk on a trolley, she twigged that Mrs. Manning had probably panicked and realised that Ellie might go and see Dumbledore when she got back. Ellie sighed in disgust as she slowed to a stop on the platform beside the Hogwarts Express.

A familiar voice to her right greeted her, making her forget all about Mrs. Manning. It was Jamie with his parents. Mr. and Mrs. Logan remembered Ellie from Diagon Alley, but Jamie introduced them properly (Ellie, not Eleanora). Jamie's father helped the duo load their trunks into an empty compartment and Mr. and Mrs. Logan waved them off when the train pulled out of the station. Ellie felt a pang of jealousy at Jamie's happy family. She had never experienced that kind of family feeling with Mrs. Manning.

On the trip to Hogwarts, Ellie filled Jamie in on the story about her mother's diary, and her quest to find out more about her mother. Jamie agreed that asking Professor McGonagall some questions was a good idea. Ellie's mother had been in Gryffindor and Professor McGonagall had been head of house then too. If anyone at Hogwarts knew anything about Ellie's mum then it would be Professor McGonagall.

When the students finally arrived at Hogwarts, they trouped into the Great Hall for dinner. Snape was sitting in his usual seat at the staff table. He looked up when the doors to the hall were thrown open and masses of students began to file in, heading to their house tables. His eyes scanned the crowd until he saw her. She was walking with that Logan boy, chatting animatedly. He felt his stomach lurch as he watched her make her way to top of the Gryffindor table. Actually seeing her in person was affecting him much more than he had anticipated. His heart had skipped a beat when she had thrown a lopsided gaze in his direction, and his mouth hung open in amazement as he took in her smiling features. It was as if he was seeing her for the first time.

She was beautiful, he thought to himself. Everything about her was perfect. He watched her laughing and grinning as she exchanged greetings with her classmates, absolutely fascinated. It was only when he became aware of Dumbledore calling to him from down the table that he snapped out of it.

"Severus, it is good to see the students back again, isn't it?" Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye.

Snape set his face into a hard line, furious with himself for such a pathetic reaction to the girl. What was she to him? It was foolish and weak to start feeling any paternal pangs now. Snape felt disgusted with himself. He had resolved not to give Dumbledore any reason to have any suspicions and then at the first sight of the brat he loses his head. Well no more. He had seen her now and the shock was over. He could handle it now. He would handle it now, and Dumbledore would be forced to keep his smug comments to himself.

Ellie cornered Professor McGonagall outside the Great Hall after dinner.

"Professor, may I ask you something?"

"Of course. What is it?" Professor McGonagall replied.

"Do you know what year my mum started at Hogwarts?"

Professor McGonagall looked surprised, and began to frown.

"I can't remember off-hand, let me think about it for a minute," she said.

Ellie waited patiently, her fingers crossed that Professor McGonagall would be able to answer her question.

As Professor McGonagall was trying to remember what year exactly had Claudia Winterbourne come to Hogwarts, she spotted Snape. Snape had seen Professor McGonagall standing with Ellie first and had tried to get away as quickly as possible. He almost cursed aloud when Professor McGonagall called out to him.

"Professor Snape!" she cried.

He had no choice but to turn around and walk over to her. As he did so, he avoided looking at Ellie, although he was furious with himself to find his heart was pounding against his chest the closer he got to the girl.

"Professor, can you remember what year it was when you started at Hogwarts?" she asked him. He gave her a confused look.

"It's Miss. Winterbourne. She wants to know when her mother started, and I know you were in her year," Professor McGonagall explained.

When Professor McGonagall mentioned Ellie, Snape glanced at her briefly. Why did she want to know that? Professor McGonagall and the girl were looking at him expectantly however, so he had no time to ponder the question.

"1971," he said curtly.

"1971?" Ellie repeated, and her face fell. So, the inscription on the diary had been right. Her mother had only been sixteen when she was born.

Snape felt a pang of concern when he saw Ellie's disappointed look. He quickly dismissed the feeling however, and would have gladly left at that moment, but she addressed him directly, making any exit impossible.

"Did you know my mother then?" Ellie asked, looking up at him.

Snape hesitated. Professor McGonagall suddenly excused herself as someone else was calling for her attention. Snape cursed under his breath. He was now left alone with the girl.

"I was acquainted with her," Snape finally answered, hoping the child would accept this answer and leave him alone. No such luck though – she immediately followed up the question with another.

"Were you ever friends?" Ellie asked.

Snape considered how to answer this. They had been friends of course, and then so much more than that. He was not about to tell the child that though.

"She was in Gryffindor and I was in Slytherin," Snape told her, hoping she would infer an answer from this.

Ellie did. She nodded her head. Of course, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin would not be friends.

"Thank you Professor," she said, and gave him a grateful smile. Snape would have preferred it if she had not. The gesture made him feel uncomfortable. He nodded to her, turned on his heels and began to depart as quickly as possible, anxious to get away. He had not gotten far however when she called after him.

"Professor?"

He turned around.

"Did she… did she have a boyfriend at all that you knew of?" Ellie asked hesitantly.

Snape held his breath for a moment, panicking. What was the child getting at? He studied her face, and sighed in relief. There was no hint that she suspected the real truth.

For the first time, Snape was forced to lie to Ellie.

"No," he replied. She nodded her head.

"Okay, thanks," she said.

Snape turned around and walked away. When he was halfway down the corridor, he stopped and looked back. Ellie was still standing in the middle of the Entrance Hall, looking dejected. He felt his heart pang for a moment, but he shook his head and kept on walking.

"So, how did it go with McGonagall?"

Jamie had accosted her as soon as she walked into the common room and pulled her into a corner.

"She couldn't remember when my mum started, but she asked Snape and…" Ellie began.

"Snape?" Jamie exclaimed, interrupting her.

"Yes, Snape. He was in my mum's year apparently. Anyway, she started in 1971," Ellie continued.

"So if she was eleven in 1971…," Jamie said slowly.

"She was supposed to turn seventeen in 1977," Ellie finished. "Except she never did. She didn't make it that far," Ellie added in a small voice as she felt tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

Jamie gave her a sympathetic look. He wasn't sure what to say.

"She was so young," Ellie said. "I wonder…" she began, but then trailed off.

"You wonder what?" Jamie asked.

Ellie sighed.

"I wonder… if it was my fault she died," Ellie said sadly.

"What?" Jamie exclaimed. "Of course it wasn't your fault! You were just a baby!"

"But then why did she die? Why won't Mrs. Manning tell me? What's the big secret? If it wasn't something to do with me, if she was just sick or something, then why won't anyone tell me?" Ellie cried.

"Because…" Jamie began, trying to think of something that would reassure Ellie that it wasn't her fault that her mother died.

"Because nobody wants to upset you by talking about it," Jamie finally said, knowing it sounded weak.

"You hear about it sometimes, women dying in childbirth. My mum died "right after" I was born, according to Mrs. Manning. I don't even know what that means! Did she die the same day? A few days later? Why won't anyone tell me! I have a right to know!"

"Well, what about Dumbledore?" Jamie said.

"Dumbledore?" Ellie replied, confused.

"Yeah, Dumbledore. You said he's the one who put you with Mrs. Manning. He must know everything that happened to your mum."

Ellie considered this. Jamie was right of course. Dumbledore must know what had happened if he had been the one to arrange for her to go to Mrs. Manning.

"Okay, I'll ask him," Ellie said.

"There's something else," Ellie added, hesitating slightly.

"What?" Jamie asked, curious.

"Well, if my mum was still at Hogwarts just before had me, that means… it means my father might be… my father might be someone she went to school with," Ellie said.

Jamie raised his eyebrows at this. Yes, it certainly seemed like the most plausible explanation.

"I asked Snape if he knew if my mum had a boyfriend, but he didn't," continued Ellie.

Jamie scoffed.

"Well he wouldn't, would he? If he was in Slytherin and your mum was in Gryffindor, he probably never even spoke to her, except to insult her."

"Yeah," Ellie agreed.

"So, do you want to find your dad?" Jamie asked slowly.

"My mum's family are all dead," Ellie stated. "Maybe somewhere out there I have a family, but I just don't know it."

Snape was glad when he reached his office. He locked the door and then collapsed in the chair at his desk. He had no doubt that Ellie's question about a boyfriend of her mother's was her way of trying to find out information about her father. He felt a pang of guilt as he recalled how he had lied to her. He almost pitied the girl. She was never going to find her father, not if he had anything to do with it. He felt immensely thankful that he and Claudia had kept their relationship a secret. The only person who could possibly realistically reveal the secret was Amelia Ryan. Dumbledore may suspect something, but he had no proof. As far as he knew, Amelia had emigrated to Australia soon after leaving Hogwarts, meaning she was well out of the way. Yes, there was no way for Ellie to possibly discover the truth, that he Severus Snape, was her father.