Chapter 45 – House Arrest

Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge firmly believed in bureaucracy. He definitely was not the one to condemn it. On the contrary, he saw bureaucracy as a very useful tool in ruling a society. True enough, sometimes things took longer, were not over and done with by a spontaneous decision, but the existence of rules and procedures guaranteed that things were done thoroughly, that the chance of mistakes was minimised, that whatever decision was made was right.

Today, Cornelius Fudge found himself faced with the need to dodge around a few obstacles which bureaucratic regulations normally put in the way of a quick decision. He was not overly content with that, but the possible alternatives, by his own estimation, were far worse. If Black's story was indeed true, then the Ministry of Magic might face the most horrible civil lawsuit it had ever faced. Wrongful imprisonment. Not for a few days or weeks – which would be bad enough – but for twelve years. Twelve years. Without a trial. Merlin, if the story was indeed true, then this was bad. Very bad indeed.

Of course, he had not been Minister of Magic by the time Black had been arrested and sent to Azkaban, but he knew that his position as the Minister right now was not as firm as it had once been. He could not afford any bad publicity right now. The Ministry could not afford bad publicity right now.

Fudge was not absolutely sure that he entirely believed the story Albus Dumbledore had told him about Sirius Black. But there were a few facts about it that simply could not be pushed aside. Not only in the face of a possible lawsuit.

Which was why he had cancelled all his morning meetings and was now sitting in his private office, Albus Dumbledore sitting across from him. And he was desperately trying to figure out which would be the right course of action to take.

"I still don't quite see why you were in such a rush for this meeting", Fudge finally said. "I admit that something has to be done about Black's situation, but for now he is in St. Mungo's. Nothing speaks against having a guard outside his room there for as long as he's recuperating."

Dumbledore nodded. "I see your point, but there is a slight problem about this. The healers have thoroughly examined him since he woke up yesterday evening. In fact, from what I gather they are planning to keep on examining for the entire morning. And from what they have come up with so far, Mr. Black is in a rather good condition, considering what happened to him."

"That is good to year, yet I still don't see why you're in such a rush."

"Because Mr. Black will get himself discharged as soon as the healers have finished their preliminary examinations today."

Fudge felt a cold rush run down his spine. "He wants to do what?"

"Get himself discharged. Mr. Black does not want to spend any more time in hospital than necessary."

Fudge leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair with a deep sigh. "Even if everything you told me is right, even if Black is innocent, for now he still is a Ministry prisoner. He can't just get himself discharged. Dumbledore, I can't let him walk free like that. I understand that you have doubts about his imprisonment, and I have agreed that I will set things in motion to clear up what really happened and if he was imprisoned wrongfully, but I won't set him free like that. He still is a Ministry prisoner, that remains a fact for now, Dumbledore."

Dumbledore nodded. "I know that, Cornelius. Nobody expects you to set Mr. Black free. But as long as there is serious doubt about his guilt, he should not be sent back to any of the Ministry prison facilities. Especially not back to Azkaban."

Fudge raised an eyebrow. "Then what do you want me to do?"

"I agree that you can't just set him free, as you so eloquently put it. I suggest a house-arrest. Restrict Mr. Black to a certain location until his case is cleared up, place monitoring charms on him to make sure about his whereabouts. I firmly believe that his case can be solved quickly if it's not artificially drawn out, so the house arrest should only be a short-term solution."

"Might I inquire why Mr. Black is in such a hurry?"

Dumbledore smiled. "He has fourteen years to catch up to. He has a godson to take care of, a godson who will leave for school in a bit more than a week. He doesn't want to spend that time locked up somewhere. He has lost fourteen years of his life due to his imprisonment, and considering the doubts about his guilt I'd say he has earned not to lose any more time. It cannot be so time-consuming to arrange a hearing, administer Veritaserum and have Mr. Black relate his story in front of witnesses."

"You as well as I know that it isn't done with a simple hearing. There are things that have to be done before that, I will have to arrange everything. It cannot be done today, and probably neither tomorrow."

"Even though the healers will probably release Mr. Black on his own risk, I think it would be advisable to give him a few more days to recover before he is put under the strain of a questioning. Which is why I suggested the house-arrest."

Slowly, ever so slowly, Fudge nodded. "And where would Mr. Black spend his house-arrest?"

"How about his family home, No. 12, Grimmauld Place. It is secluded, he could be monitored easily as it is located in a non-wizarding area, and it is, after all, his heirloom. I think it could be arranged to have the place secured to your agreement."

Fudge nodded again. "All right. But only under one condition. Auror Shacklebolt will be guarding him personally, in addition to the monitoring charms. This is about as far as I can go considering that for now Mr. Black is a convicted murderer whose case is about to be reviewed. I am trying to help you because if there was a mistake made about his case, I want it resolved, but for now I cannot just assume that he is innocent. Auror Shacklebolt is in charge of Mr. Black's case, I trust him to keep this in line in the case that you are wrong in your assumptions about Black's innocence."

Dumbledore nodded. "I think Mr. Black will understand and agree to this arrangement." He got up and stretched out his hand towards the Minister, who could not help but feel a little relieved now that this meeting was over. Dumbledore always gave him the feeling that he was nothing more than a pawn in a game of wizard's chess, about to be moved in the direction the old headmaster wanted. It wasn't a feeling Fudge particularly enjoyed, so he was always glad when meetings with Dumbledore – announced or unannounced – were finally over. He stretched out his own hand and shook the headmaster's.

"I will contact Auror Shacklebolt immediately. He will send a team to secure the premises at Grimmauld Place to secure it. And I will inform St. Mungo's, so that Mr. Black will only be released once Auror Shacklebolt is there to escort him to Grimmauld Place."

Dumbledore nodded. "Of course, Minister. I thank you very much for your time and help."

Fudge nodded, at a loss for words, and a moment later he breathed a sigh of relief when the door closed behind Dumbledore. Just as he sank down in his chair, there was a short knock and his secretary stuck her head into the room.

"Minister, shall I cancel your one o'clock meeting as well?"

Fudge checked his watch. Half past twelve. He thought for a moment, then shook his head. "No, thank you Sheila. But please do not patch through any fire-calls or visitors until then."

The secretary nodded. "Of course, Minister."

The door closed, and Fudge sank back in his chair and stared out of the window into the artificial summer afternoon that often let him forget that his office was actually located underground. Merlin, he hoped he had done the right thing. With You-Know-Who back, he definitely couldn't afford to make a mistake that would set his one-time right hand man back free. He would review the case very thoroughly before he allowed Black to be set free, that much was clear.

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"Do you really think it's a good idea? I mean, I'm the first who wants you back home, but in all honesty you don't look too good."

Sirius smiled at the teenager who was anxiously hovering in front of his bed, poised as if ready to catch him should he make a misstep or fall. Harry had been fretting like this ever since Sirius had announced that he wanted to get himself discharged as soon as the healers were finished with him for the morning. But no matter how often Harry told him that of course he wanted to have him back home, but didn't he think he should wait for another day or so, Sirius' resolution to leave had never wavered. He couldn't stand the thought to stay here for any longer than absolutely necessary. Even if it meant going back to Grimmauld Place. So he just smiled at his godson, stretched out a hand and put it on Harry's shoulder.

"I even think it's an excellent idea, Harry. Once we're back at Grimmauld Place, Remus and you can play nursemaid for all you like. I'll even stay in bed. But for now, I need to get out of here before the ambience drives me mad."

It was obvious that Harry was not entirely convinced of his godfather's ability to leave the bed without sustaining severe physical damage. Remus was leaning against the wall on the other side of the bed, arms crossed loosely over his chest, a smug grin on his face. For the entire morning, he had enjoyed Harry's fretting around Sirius immensely without once getting involved in the discussion himself. Now he uncrossed his arms, pushed himself off the wall and checked his watch.

"Kingsley should come to fetch you any moment now. There will be at least one other Auror present during your – how did they call it? – transfer to Grimmauld Place, so a few things had to be arranged at headquarters to make it look as if it wasn't as inhabited as it is now. The Ministry might be able to monitor where you are, but there is no need to tell them just exactly how many people are at Grimmauld Place with you. Much less who. Once we've arrived, Kingsley will place the monitoring charms, give you a lecture about what you're not allowed to do and tell you that he won't take his eyes off you until your hearing. Then the other Aurors will leave, and Kingsley will enjoy a few days off at headquarters while we wait for Fudge to set a date for your hearing. That's the plan."

Sirius nodded grumpily. Dumbledore had been to the hospital earlier, explaining the deal he had made with Minister Fudge for Sirius. It had been obvious that the idea of being under house-arrest was bothering Sirius greatly, though probably not as much as the thought that his fate lay now entirely in the Ministry's hands. His chances to get declared innocent were now as big as they had not been for fourteen years, that was true, but he was also in a position in which all he could do was sit it out and wait. Once the hearing was set, he would get a chance to tell his story, and then it was hoping that they would believe him. The situation was nagging at him, and that would remain so until it was all over and done with. Until a decision had been made. It was a topic Sirius had been dodging all day, yet Remus knew that it was bothering him. But there was nothing they could do about that now, first they had to get Sirius out of the hospital and safely back to Grimmauld Place, and then they would worry about everything else.

For now, Remus and Harry helped Sirius into the clothes Remus had brought from Grimmauld Place earlier this morning, after which the teenager insisted that Sirius remained sitting on the bed until Kingsley and the other Aurors came to fetch him.

Ten minutes passed until that happened. Ten minutes during which Harry grew increasingly agitated. Sirius too, though instead of pacing the room like Harry did, he remained sitting on the bed. Yet his hands were clutching the sheets so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. Nobody in the room said anything. Finally, there was a short rap on the door and Kingsley entered the room, followed by two other Aurors. Sirius got up from the bed, standing to meet them on slightly shaky legs. Kingsley came up to Sirius, his face a stony mask that didn't betray in the slightest that he knew the prisoner in front of him rather well.

"Mr. Black, as you have been informed you will be escorted to your residence in No. 12, Grimmauld Place, London, where you will be placed under house-arrest until a hearing at the Ministry of Magic will decide whether you will be returned to Azkaban or not. You will be escorted by myself as well as Auror Stratson and Auror Williams. I am to inform you that you are to follow our orders until the arrival at our destination, and that any attempt you might make to disobey an order given to you or any attempt to escape Ministry custody will lead to an immediate transfer to Azkaban. If you cooperate, then we will have no problems with each other. While you are under house-arrest, you will be placed under a monitoring charm to make sure that you do not leave the location you're restricted to. I will be there to watch and guard you until your transfer to the Ministry for your hearing. Have you understood the arrangement?"

"Yes", Sirius mumbled out from between clenched teeth.

"Do you have any questions before we proceed?"

"No."

Kingsley nodded and reached into his pocket. He produced his wand and held it loosely by his side.

"Mr. Black, for reasons of security I will have to immobilise you during the time of transfer."

Sirius nodded, and before he could even brace himself, Kingsley had the wand pointed at him.

"Petrificus Totalis!"

Sirius went stiff immediately, and had not the two other Aurors reached out to steady him, he would have fallen face-first to the floor. Kingsley reached into his pocket again and produced a couple of inches of isolated muggle-wire. Placing the middle of it into Sirius' palm and closing his fingers around it, he and the other Aurors took hold of the strand of wire, then Kingsley touched it with his wand and a moment later, the portkey activated and the four men were gone.

Remus gave a small sigh and turned towards Harry. "Don't worry, he's safely on his way now. Let's give them a few moments to settle Sirius, give him his lectures and let the other Aurors leave, then we'll go after them."

Harry nodded numbly and followed Remus towards the door. Somehow, he still could not entirely believe everything that had happened during the past two days. It all had happened so fast, much too fast for him to realise its full impact yet. He allowed Remus to lead him out of the room and down the corridors and staircases, until they reached the foyer where the public fireplaces were located. Remus checked his watch again.

"Well, they've had more than ten minutes to settle Sirius now. They know that we'll be staying with Sirius, so even if the other two Aurors are still there, there's no reason for us to wait for any longer." He gestured towards one of the fireplaces. "After you, Harry."

Still not able to grasp that he would return to Grimmauld Place, where Sirius was waiting for him, Harry reached for the floo-powder, threw it into the flames, climbed into the fireplace and flooed to the basement kitchen at No. 12, Grimmauld Place.

He came into the room to find that the two other Aurors indeed hadn't left yet. Sirius was sitting on a chair at the table, the full body bind obviously already lifted, but still looking slightly queasy. Kingsley was standing next to the fireplace, and while Stratson and Williams had their wands pointed at Harry upon his rather noisy arrival, Kingsley merely nodded in recognition and allowed him to walk over to his godfather. Remus stumbled out of the fireplace only a moment later, and as the flames died down, Kingsley turned to Williams and Stratson.

"I'd say we're finished for now. The monitoring charm is placed and the banishment charm is in place so that Black cannot leave the house. Or is there anything else you can think of?"

Williams looked at Stratson, then back at Kingsley and shook his head. "No, sir. If you are settled and can't think of anything else, then I'd say we're finished."

"Good. I'll give my daily reports from tomorrow morning on. If any of the alarms sound, send reinforcements immediately."

"Will do, sir."

The two Aurors nodded polite goodbyes to Harry and Remus, ignored the still slightly dazed Sirius completely, and took the fireplace to floo back to the Ministry. Once they were gone, Kingsley waved his wand at the fireplace, then he pulled up a chair and sank down into it with a sigh.

"Merlin, sometimes the Ministry and the Department really worry me. Had it been an arrangement for any other prisoner than you, Sirius, I'd have never agreed to it. This whole setting has so many loopholes, I shudder to think of it."

Harry frowned. "What do you mean? From what I heard, Sirius can't leave the house."

"No, he can't. But that is about all the Ministry can monitor. He could hold nightly soirées with twenty Death Eaters and You-Know-Who himself, and they wouldn't notice." He shook his head. "But anyway, all the better for us. I'm not asking for complications."

He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his neck, his gaze straying to Sirius.

"Welcome home. Maybe it would be better if you went to bed, you don't look too good."

Sirius sighed and nodded tiredly and Harry, who was perched on a chair close beside him, put a hand on his godfather's shoulder. Sirius looked at his godson and forced himself to smile at him.

"Yeah, otherwise my two nursemaids are going to force me upstairs at wand-point."

Kingsley grinned, revealing two lines of even, white teeth. "Anyway, I'm going to lie down for an hour or two. I've spent the past night sitting in front of your ward, trying not to fall asleep. Would have looked bad in front of that unnerving healer who was sitting beside me, reading his medical journals. In any case, call me if there's anything, I'm in the empty bedroom on the first floor. At the moment nobody else is here, but the Weasleys should come back during the next days."

"Good night."

"If only it were. It'll take days until I'm back to a normal day-and-night-rhythm. Good night."

He got up from his chair and walked over towards the door. As his steps receded up the stairs, Harry turned towards Sirius. He was indeed a bit worried about his godfather. The transport to Grimmauld Place had strained him pretty badly, though Harry was sure that he was trying hard to hide the extent of how much it had exhausted him.

"Come on, let's get you up to bed."

Sirius smiled and slowly got up from his chair. He took great care not to let his physical weakness show, but their progress up the stairs was slower than normal, and by the time they reached the door to Sirius' bedroom, there was sweat on Sirius' face and he was even paler than he had been before. Harry and Remus quickly ushered him into the room, helped him change into a pair of pyjamas and saw to it that he got settled in bed.

"Is there anything you need?"

Sirius shook his head and closed his eyes with a tired sigh. "No, thanks. Just a bit of rest."

Remus smiled and turned to leave, but Harry remained rooted to the spot, even though Sirius already had his eyes closed and was about to fall asleep. When his former teacher touched him gently on the arm, Harry turned towards him and shook his head. "I'll stay here for a while."

"All right. I'm downstairs, in case you need anything."

"Okay."

While Remus left the room, Harry pulled an armchair up to the bed and sat down. By now, Sirius was snoring softly, oblivious to everything that was going on around him. So much for his constant reassurances that he was feeling fine. Nobody who was feeling fine would fall asleep that easily in the middle of the day. But Sirius would get better, the most important thing was that he was back home now. Remus had moved his stuff to one of the empty bedrooms on the corridor, allowing Sirius to return to his own room. Though he had never been really comfortable here at Grimmauld Place, both Remus and Harry had thought he might want to have at least some familiarity in his surroundings. Not that he would have noticed if they had settled him in the wine-cellar, right now Sirius would have probably slept anywhere. Harry smiled and pulled the blanket up towards Sirius' shoulders, then he settled back and closed his eyes.

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Harry had found himself in hospital quite a number of times over the past couple of years. He knew what it was like to find himself in the situation of being a patient who actually wanted nothing more than to get on with his normal life. But he had never, never, been only half as bad as his godfather was. While Sirius had spent the first afternoon and evening of his stay at Grimmauld Place sleeping, only waking for an hour or so to eat something in the late afternoon, the second day had been entirely different. Sirius had woken early, had not waited for anybody to look in on him, instead had gotten up and taken a shower, and then had gone downstairs for breakfast as if it was just an ordinary day. Remus had thrown a fit when he had seen his friend come down into the kitchen as if he hadn't been in hospital just a day earlier, and had literally forced Sirius back to his bed.

And from then on, it had been like kindergarten.

Harry was sure that Sirius knew and also understood the reasons for Remus' and Harry's worry, yet for some reason he seemed entirely unable to act in a way that would have alleviated that worry. Instead, Sirius snuck out of bed whenever nobody was there to watch him. He refused to stay in pyjamas all day, anyway, and as soon as he was left alone in his room he got out of bed, snuck out of the room and either sought out his godson, or went down into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat, or he went into his mother's former bedroom which had been turned into the house's owlery to amuse himself about all the owl-droppings on his mother's bed and her favourite paintings on the wall. Mostly, those outings were over as soon as Remus found out that he was roaming the house again, or when Sirius was spending time with Harry and the teenager noticed that his godfather was growing tired or exhausted. Sirius always complained loudly about being sent back to bed, but he didn't struggle. Probably because he knew that as soon as nobody was watching, he'd be out again. That procedure repeated itself up to four or five times a day, and neither side refused to give in.

In a way, it was even funny, though as worried as Harry was about his godfather, he could not always see the humour in Sirius' behaviour. Just now, he was sitting in his room, on the single chair in front of the desk, watching how Sirius was slowly dozing off on Harry's bed. Ron wasn't there, since Sirius had returned to Grimmauld Place the Weasleys were staying in the Burrow and would only return the following day. Harry had been spending a few quiet moments in his room when there had been a knock and Sirius had come into the room. Sneaking, that was the only word to describe how he had moved. As if he was expecting Remus to jump out from behind the wardrobe any moment, ready and willing to physically drag him back to bed.

First, Sirius had been sitting on Harry's bed, chatting with him about this and that, catching up on what had happened during the time of his absence. Not about everything, though. So far, Harry had effectively dodged all the parts he was still struggling to deal with. After his breakdown in the hospital, Harry had effectively avoided talking about what Sirius' death had done to him. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to his godfather about it, it was just that for now, Harry didn't want to think about that time. He wanted to enjoy that his godfather was back, not look back on the time when his godfather had been gone. Just until he left for Hogwarts in a couple of days, he wanted to live in the present. Sirius seemed to have sensed that, so they had been chatting about everything but the emotionally trying parts.

After maybe half an hour of chatting, Sirius had stretched out on Harry's bed and had begun to doze off. Slowly, ever so slowly, with the occasional burst of conversation in between, but right now he had his eyes closed and from experience Harry knew that he would be starting to snore soon. With a smile, he got up from his chair, walked over to the bed and pulled the blanket up over his godfather. Sirius smiled softly and burrowed deeper into the pillows. Seeing that his godfather was not about to wake up anytime soon, Harry sat down on Ron's bed, picked up the book he had been reading in earlier that day and started to read.

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Sirius didn't get up anymore that day, and nothing seemed to be able to wake him. Harry went down for dinner, but even as he came upstairs into his room again, Sirius was still lying burrowed underneath the blanket, snoring softly. Harry smiled and sat down on Ron's bed. At least Sirius was getting some more rest, though that also meant that Harry had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do with the rest of his day. But before he could even contemplate his possibilities, there was a soft knock on the door and a moment later Remus came into the room. Upon seeing Sirius sleeping on Harry's bed, he crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow, but there was an amusement in his voice that belied his strict outward stance.

"He is getting some rest", Harry immediately came to his godfather's defence. "He's been sleeping for a few hours now already."

"Yes, but he should go to bed."

Harry frowned. "He is in bed. He can sleep here for the night."

"He already slept here the last night."

Harry only shrugged. "I'd think that as long as it's in a bed, it shouldn't matter where he's sleeping. Ron isn't here, and I certainly don't mind him staying here."

Remus smiled softly. "It's not as if he'd listen to me, anyway. Just see to it that you get some rest as well. Good night, Harry."

"Good night."

After Remus had left, Harry changed into a pair of pyjamas and lay down in Ron's bed. "Good night, Sirius", he said softly as he extinguished the lights, but his godfather was too fast asleep to hear him. It took only a few minutes, then he was just as fast asleep as his godfather was.

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They came again, like they had come nearly every night since Harry had brought Sirius back. The darkness. The faceless shadows, the ones which hovered on the edge of his vision without showing themselves, whispering to him, whispering about the other side, drawing him towards the other side. Harry wanted them to stop, wanted them to leave him alone, but he could not stop them. There was no way to block them out, no way to stop their endless whispers about the dead, about the deceased loved ones. They were asking him to join them, drawing him towards their side. It were those horrible moments he had not told anybody about, the moments he knew Snape had witnessed when he had attempted to bring Sirius back.

Harry wanted it to stop, but there was no way for him to do so. All he could hear were the whispers, the toneless whispers of the dead, telling him to come to them, to come to those he had lost, those many he had lost, all those he cared about were on the other side, didn't he want to join them? It would be easy, the whispers said, growing louder and louder. Sirius was here, he was waiting for Harry, there was no way to bring him back.

Sirius was dead.

Gone.

He would never come back.

Sirius was dead.

Harry tried to run, tried to shout, yell out no, no, no, tried to drown out the whispers, but they were inside his head, beyond his ability to stop them.

Sirius was dead.

No!

"No!"

Harry struggled, but he could not get away, they were holding him back, stopped him from running, and the darkness was engulfing him, swallowing him up, never to let him go again.

"Harry", a soft voice said at his side. Harry turned his head, straining to see, but the darkness was complete and didn't allow him to see anything. There were hands reaching out for him, trying to pull him further into the darkness, so Harry struggled against their hold.

"Harry, come on, wake up kiddo. Wake up."

Harry didn't stop struggling, but a moment later a dim light came from the side, finally illuminating the darkness around him. Much to his surprise, Harry found himself sitting up in his bed, his breathing harsh and fast, his whole body entangled in the blankets in a way that rendered him nearly motionless. There was a hand on his arm, and as Harry turned his head to the side he found Sirius sitting on the mattress beside him, one hand against his upper arm, a look of extreme worry on his tired ad drawn face.

"Harry, are you all right?"

Harry blinked a few times and finally focussed his eyes on his godfather. "I…I think so. I don't know. What happened?"

"You had a nightmare, I'd say. You were thrashing around in bed, and in the end you were screaming."

"Oh", Harry said tonelessly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Harry quickly shook his head. "No."

Sirius didn't look convinced, but he wordlessly nodded and started to help Harry untangle himself from the blanket.

"It sounded pretty bad", he said as he pulled the covers back and shook them loose.

"Sorry that I woke you."

"Nah, that's all right." Sirius remained silent for a few more moments, his fingers nervously straightening out nonexistent folds in the bedcovers, then he looked at Harry again. "You have those nightmares often, don't you?"

Harry shrugged. "Sometimes. But I really don't want to talk about it now. It's not important, really."

Sirius smiled and tenderly stroked some strands of hair away from Harry's forehead. "I think it's very important, Harry. I can't force you to talk about it, but if it has anything to do with what happened in the Death Chamber, you should not play it down."

Harry shook his head and drew his knees slightly against his body. "Just go back to bed, you need your sleep."

"So do you. And judged from what I've heard this night as well as last night, you're not exactly getting plenty of either, sleep or rest."

Harry shrugged uncomfortably and shifted around on the bed, though he didn't manage to escape his godfather's scrutiny. He didn't particularly like the fact that Sirius had witnessed this nightmare, but he hadn't even been aware that last night's dream had been bad enough so that Sirius could have noticed it. He didn't remember waking up, in any case. Fidgeting, he pulled the blanket up to his shoulders, but still remained silent. Sirius seemed to notice that Harry was not ready to talk right now, so he ruffled across the teenager's hair and got up from the bed.

"I'm here if you want to talk, all right?"

Harry nodded and shifted into a lying position on the bed, curled up tightly in himself. Sirius sat down on his own bed, looked at Harry for a long moment, then he lay down and extinguished the light he had lit earlier.

"Try to get some sleep. I'm here if you need anything."

"I know, thanks. Good night Sirius."
"Good night."

For a few moments, there was the rustling of blankets as Sirius lay down in his bed, then a minute of silence. Harry was straining to listen whether Sirius had already fallen asleep. In all honesty, he didn't want to go back to sleep again right now.

"Sirius?", he asked softly after a few minutes. There was another rustling of blankets to Harry's left, then Sirius' voice.

"Yes?"

"Do you…do you dream about it?"

There was a moment's hesitation. "About what happened behind the veil?"

"Yes."

"Not really. I…it feels as if it was lurking close to the surface, but for now I'm probably too exhausted to dream at all. Sometimes I have the feeling that I don't sleep too well, that I'm not as rested as I probably should be, but so far there are no dreams."

"Oh." It sounded nearly as if Harry was disappointed with his godfather's answer.

"During the day I sometimes have to forcefully stop myself from thinking about it. I think that if I start drifting off, it'll come back, and I don't think I'm ready to face that yet. That I can evade thinking about it for now doesn't mean it'll stay that way. That you're having dreams about it isn't a sign of weakness."

"I know. But I want it to stop."

There was more rustling, and in the dim light Harry could see how Sirius leaned up on one elbow. "They will in time, when you learn how to deal with them. You've been fooling around with death, Harry. That was bound to leave its marks. Give it time, and talk about what's bothering you. I'm always here for you, anytime."

Harry burrowed deeper into his blankets, shivering as if it was winter and freezing outside. "I want it stop now, not at some point in the future. I want to get some sleep for a change, not wake up at some point in the middle of the night, asking myself what of the past months has really happened and what has only been a dream. I want to go to bed in the evening knowing that you are back, that the people I care for are safe, and I want to be sure that I still know all that for a fact when I wake up. I don't think I'm asking for too much, am I?"

Sirius didn't say anything, but there was another amount of blanket-rustling and suddenly Harry's mattress sagged to the left as Sirius sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around him. Harry only reluctantly leaned into the embrace. He was sixteen years old, for Merlin's sake. Nightly cuddling definitely wasn't something a sixteen year old teenager normally did, but after a few moments he decided that just for once he could as well tell himself that he wasn't a normal teenager, anyway. Other people did that all the time, so why shouldn't he be entitled to do it as well. Right now it felt good to have Sirius here with him, so he'd just stop thinking about it. Sirius tightened his arms around Harry and shifted into a more comfortable position on the bed.

"I can't give you that, Harry. I can't stop the dreams, and I can't stop the insecurities. I wish I could, but I can't. I can only reassure you when you need it, if you let me in. We can't change everything that's bothering you from one day to the next, so we'll just take it one step after another. And for tonight, that means I'll make sure that you get some real rest. I'm here, for tonight we're all safe. You are safe. No worrying about what will be tomorrow. Just sleep, Harry. I'm here."

Harry smiled and leaned his head against Sirius' chest. He desperately wished he could just stop worrying about the things that had happened and the things that might still happen to him and the people he cared for. He couldn't, at least not entirely. But Sirius was right, Harry desperately needed some rest. He was comfortable, he was tired, and even if he had wanted it, his brain refused to brood on his nightmares, the space behind the veil or other cruelties for any longer. With a sigh, he burrowed into the blankets and closed his eyes.

"Thank you, Sirius."

"You're welcome. Just sleep."