Author's Notes: I wanted Ellie and Snape to bond a little bit. Aww! I think the title is a fairly accurate representation of the chapter.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Thirty-Two: Snape's Torture, Ellie's Sorrow

Two weeks passed and Ellie remained at Snape's house. Amelia sent her a letter telling her that things were going slower than she had been hoping. Ellie took that as a hint that she might still be there in another two weeks.

Living with Snape was a bit of a mixed bag. Ellie enjoyed asking him lots of questions, but it depended on his mood whether he would answer her or just snap at her to keep quiet. She got the feeling that her presence could be highly irritating to him at times.

Only when he was teaching Ellie all he felt she should know about magic did Snape seem in any way pleased to have her around. After her birthday, it was straight back to all day lessons. He put a heavy emphasis on knowledge of the Dark Arts. He gave her books to read in the evening and quizzed her on them the next morning. He had her practicing charms and hexes for hours on end. Everyday it seemed like he was increasing the pace. He wanted her to learn faster, and he kept introducing more complex spells. Having one on one tuition made it easier for Ellie to learn, as Snape was ready with advice on how to perform a spell or produce a charm, or how to improve upon her technique. Ellie had to admit that she had learnt more with Snape over the last two weeks than she had in her two years at Hogwarts. Devin Farley had better hope he never got her angry because she could curse him into next week if she wanted to.

Despite this, Ellie could not help feeling uncomfortable about these lessons. She felt as if Snape was trying to mould her into a particular image. He wanted her to be perfect at everything. He wasn't kidding about wanting her to be top of the year – Ellie had the feeling he wanted her to be top of the school when it came to curses and hexes. He seemed to take a particular pride in making sure she kept up the Prince family tradition of impeccable knowledge of the Dark Arts it seemed.

The problem was, Ellie wasn't sure that she wanted to pumped full of all this information. Was it really appropriate for a thirteen year old to know how to cast the cruciatus curse? Ellie had vowed never to use it, but what if she became very angry, and in an impulsive fit cast it? Ellie felt that Snape was perhaps going a bit overboard. She felt compelled to keep barrelling on though, as it was only during these lessons that Snape seemed to think of her as part of his family. Ellie didn't want to offend him or make him back off. She desperately wanted a family and if Snape was willing to accept her, then it would be foolish to start making a fuss and annoying him.

Still, Ellie began to long for a reprieve. She was therefore disappointed to receive Amelia's letter. There was a month left of the holidays, and at this rate she would be spending all of it with Snape.

That evening after dinner, instead of sending Ellie to her room with a book, Snape requested that she join him in the sitting room. Ellie's heart leapt. Did he finally want to spend some time together just as a family – without wands and incantations? Maybe he would tell her more about his family and show her photos, or maybe he would talk about her mum…

No such luck. Snape wanted to tell her about a new lesson he wanted to start the following evening.

"I want you to learn Occlumency," he told her. She stared blankly at him. She had never heard of it.

"Occlumency," Snape explained, "allows one to close one's mind to external penetration, preventing others from reading's one's mind."

"Why would I need to learn that?"

"Because… it may be important in the future," Snape said.

"Why?" Ellie asked, confused.

"It's…complicated."

"In what way?"

"I can't get into that right now," Snape said in an irritated voice.

"Then why are you even bringing it up?"

"Because it may be the only thing that keeps you safe if…" Snape began to yell, but stopped, breathing heavily. In a moment, he had calmed himself.

"Please Ellie, I need you to do this," he said.

"Okay," she said, hesitantly, but not wanting to let him down. What did he mean about it being the only thing that could keep her safe? Safe from what?

"We will start tomorrow evening after dinner," he told her. She nodded her head.

The first Occlumency lesson was a disaster. It started off well enough, with Snape telling Ellie to clear her mind of emotions. Ellie wasn't sure exactly how to do that but she tried her best. Snape stood opposite her and the next thing she knew random memories started flashing through her mind – one being from her first day of lessons at Hogwarts when she and Jamie had made fun of Snape in front of almost every Gryffindor in the school at the time. She snapped out of and found Snape towering over her, looking absolutely livid, having seen the whole thing. This certainly would not endear Jamie to Snape. He dismissed her from his presence and she hurried up to her room, kicking herself for allowing that particular memory to come into her mind. She resolved to practice what Snape had told her about emptying herself of emotions. It was more difficult than it sounded, but she and Jamie had had too many conversations in which they had made fun of Snape, not to mention called him a prat, a git and countless other names, for Ellie to neglect this piece of advice from Snape.

Ellie soon tired of the Occlumency lessons. Snape became frustrated very easily with her. She wasn't making the progress he wanted.

"We'll have to continue these lessons when we get back to Hogwarts," he told her one evening. Ellie groaned. More lessons! He had already mentioned extra Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons ('the teachers they hire for that subject are all a bunch of dunderheads'), and now this. Why was he so obsessed with teaching her these things?

Ellie had more disappointment coming her way that evening. She was sitting in her room when she heard a tapping noise at her window. She guessed correctly that it was an owl – Jamie's owl to be precise. She took the letter eagerly and tore it open. Her smile faded as she read the first few lines, and her stomach had twisted into knots by the time she had finished it.

Dear Ellie,

I'm not sure how to even start this. I'm so angry my hands are shaking so I hope you can even read this by the time I'm finished.

My Mum and Dad have decided they want to stay over here in California and they want me to stay too.

My Gran is getting really old now and my Dad wants to stay with her. Mum loves it here. She thinks the weather is much better than in England and my Gran's house is a lot bigger than our house. I don't want to go, but Mum says it's too far to send me to Hogwarts. It's not fair! They won't listen to me. They've already enrolled me in an American school – without even asking me first! What am I going to do Ellie? I don't want to leave Hogwarts. I don't want to leave you. I can't imagine not seeing you everyday. I'd miss you too much…

Ellie felt sick. Jamie, not coming back to Hogwarts – she couldn't bear to think about it. How would she get through it without him? She was struggling here with Snape – the one joy she had were Jamie's letters and the hopes that she would be seeing him soon and could talk to him in person about it all.

What if she never saw him again? California was very far away. Amelia had talked about visiting Jamie during these holidays but obviously, that wasn't going to happen now. This was awful!

Ellie barely slept that night, and the following day she didn't pay attention for most of Snape's lessons. He quickly discovered this and became angry with her. Ellie didn't take too well to this and stormed off to her room, banging her door behind her. She threw herself on her bed and cried angry tears that swiftly turned into heart-wrenching sobs. She didn't hear Snape hammering on her door and bellowing at her – all she could think about was Jamie and the fact that she might never see him again.

Snape had felt he had made a lot of progress with Ellie while she had been staying with him. She was picking up the spells he was teaching her as well as he could have hoped. The Occlumency lessons had proved to be more of an ordeal than he had wished, but Ellie was young, and they could continue to practise during the school year.

Snape felt it was very important for Ellie to learn Occlumency. At the back of his mind was the fear that someone who wanted to hurt Snape may be able to use Ellie to get to him. This is why he felt it imperative to keep their relationship to each other a secret. Ellie needed to be able to ward off anyone who might suspect the truth and try to tap into her mind for some answers. Although the Dark Lord was gone for now, Snape knew the possibility he may come back, and the implications that held for him, was always looming over his head. Now with Ellie in the picture there were suddenly implications for her too. He didn't feel it was time to discuss this with her yet, but in time…

Her mood that day had been a source of irritation. She hadn't listened to a word he said. Considering the effort he was putting in to help Ellie improve her skills he felt this was very ungrateful and disrespectful towards him. He admitted to himself that he had snapped and lost his temper with her, but her behaviour was atrocious. He thought she was over these childish tantrums. Barricading herself in her room and, from the muffled sounds coming from the other side of the door, wallowing in self-pity had served to anger Snape further. He had no idea what had caused her foul mood that day but it was causing his mood to get blacker and blacker. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore – standing outside her door foolishly, trying to get answers out of her. He opened the door and stomped inside the room.

Ellie was sitting on her bed, her knees folded up against her chest. She glared at Snape when he came in, and screamed at him to get out.

"This is my house," he answered. "Now, what is the matter with you?"

"What do you care?" she spat at him.

"If you're going to cry all over my furniture I at least want to know why!"

Ellie said nothing for a moment, and then wrenched the letter that had been on the bed beside her and threw it at him.

"You want to know? Well there! Read that!" she cried.

Snape caught the letter and skimmed down through it. He scoffed to himself. She was making a fuss because that Logan boy wasn't coming back to the school. Pathetic…

Snape frowned when he came to a particular part of the letter:

I don't want to leave you. I can't imagine not seeing you everyday. I'd miss you too much…

What did that loathsome boy mean by that?

Snape's eyes narrowed as he wondered exactly how close Ellie and Jamie had been.

"Well good riddance to you Mr. Logan!" Snape thought happily to himself, his lips curling into a sneer.

Ellie unfortunately had looked up at Snape and saw him smiling.

"Oh you're happy about that are you?" she screeched, feeling highly offended.

"He was only holding you back anyway," Snape told her.

Ellie screamed in frustration, startling Snape, and then turned herself furiously towards the window.

"I hate you!" she screeched, and then buried her head in her knees, and started sobbing again.

Snape looked at her, feeling lost. They were wasting valuable time that could be spent working on more important things. She would have to snap out of this mood.

"Ellie, I demand that you come downstairs," he said in a stern voice.

There was no response, except that Snape thought that she had begun to cry harder.

He walked closer to the bed.

"Ellie, look at me," he ordered. She ignored him.

"Ellie," he tried again, tapping on the shoulder. She reached a hand out and smacked him away.

Snape sighed in frustration. She must have gotten it from her mother – he certainly never behaved like this.

Snape was a tall person, and he felt ridiculous, towering over Ellie as she scrunched herself up into a ball on her bed. Rolling his eyes, he took a seat next to her on the bed.

"Are really this upset over that boy?" he asked in disbelief, shaking his head.

Ellie raised her tear-streaked face for a moment and looked at him.

"It's not fair! Why are his parents taking him away when he doesn't want to go?" she said, sniffling.

Ellie's expectant look made Snape realise she expected him to answer that ridiculous question.

"They're his parents. They can do what they want," Snape told her, as if it was obvious.

"But… he loves…" Ellie began, and paused as she sniffed. Snape's eyes shot open and his body went rigid. What? He loves what?

"… Hogwarts," Ellie finished. Snape let out a breath he hadn't even realised he had been holding. His body relaxed. Still, thank God that dratted boy was not coming back to Hogwarts!

"You understand don't you?" Ellie asked in a pathetic tone.

Snape shot her a puzzled look. He did?

"My granddad made my mum leave Hogwarts," Ellie continued.

Snape scoffed.

"That was different," he said. Then a horrifying thought occurred to him. He stared at Ellie.

"You didn't… you haven't…?"

Ellie looked at him, confused. He looked furious and terrified at the same time. Then it dawned on her.

"No!" she cried, both embarrassed and angry, and promptly buried her head in her lap again.

Snape suddenly felt he could appreciate how Claudia's father must have felt when he discovered that she was pregnant. If Jamie had been standing in front of him a moment ago, he would have found himself on the receiving end of a cruciatus curse – or worse.

"I just meant," Ellie mumbled from her lap, "that you know what it's like when someone you care about is taken away."

"Oh, yes. Yes I do," Snape said, beginning to feel awkward. He did not like where this conversation was headed. He never to discussed his feelings for Claudia with anyone. They were private.

"I'll just miss him so much," Ellie said, and this seemed to set her off sobbing again. Snape felt very uncomfortable and patted Ellie on the back in an awkward attempt to comfort her. This only made things worse however, as Ellie moved her head from her lap and buried it in his shoulder instead. Snape panicked, not sure what to do while the girl sobbed into his robes. Eventually he placed his arm awkwardly around her, patting her back now and then with his other arm.

"Why couldn't she have been a boy," he thought wretchedly to himself.