Note: Swearing, No in depth sexual content, Some drug use.
Part 4: Understatement of the Year
As Angel walked back into the hotel the last thing he ever expected to see were eight women all clothed in nothing but chocolate and his usual stoicism was now replaced by a look of shock. After hearing the muttered words "Busted." that came from Fred and he realized what he had smelled in the room he jus shook his head and headed for his office trying not to look at Buffy and Faith's chocolatey nude bodies. Gunn on the other hand was getting an eyeful and not minding one bit.
"Uh Fred?" Dawn said, bring the slight girls attention back to their situation.
"Yeah? Oh sorry!" she said scrambling to get off the younger woman.
At that moment they all broke from their reverie. Tara's face went bright red as she ran from the room with Willow close on her heels. Buffy's cheeks were also sporting a nice shade of pink as she scampered off to her room while Faith proudly strutted after her throwing a wink to the still ogling Gunn. Fred and Dawn had also exited the main room quickly. Anya however was unperturbed.
"I don't understand their embarrassment, it's not like they're bodies are malformed or something." Anya said to Cordy as she looked her over.
"Hey! Quit checking me out!" Cordy huffed. Anya jus laughed and headed back to her room to have a shower.
In one room Tara and Willow were taking a shower together.
"We are in so much trouble." Tara muttered. Willow slipped her arms around Tara and licked some chocolate off her shoulder.
"It's ok babe, no harm done. I'm sure they're all busy doing the same thing we are." Willow purred into her lovers' ear.
Willow was right, in the next room over Buffy and Faith were busy ravishing one another in their shower.
In the next room over Dawn and Fred stood awkwardly chatting and trying to look anywhere but each other's mostly naked bodies.
"Well it was fun sparring with you Dawn." Fred said smiling as she looked into the young woman's eyes as she had finally found a safe place to look because although she knew this girl was only seventeen at the most she definitely had the curves of a more mature woman. Hell if she wanted to be honest she had more curves than Fred herself.
"I totally almost had you!" Dawn exclaimed smirking forgetting for the moment their state of undress. Fred rolled her eyes. "I did!"
"Sure," Fred said drawing out the word, "You jus keep telling yourself that kid." She replied lightly trying to keep Dawns age firmly in her mind before she did something bound to get her ass kicked by a very pissed off slayer. Dawn pouted, hurt that her age was all people could seem to see of her.
"Age is really subjective you know. Especially in my case considering monks brought me into existence like maybe 3 years ago so technically I'm only 3 or something. Or you could look at it that I'm countless of years old when I was a green ball of energy. Do you really see me as some little kid like everyone else?" Dawn asked, the hurt in voice could be heard clearly.
"Of course not Dawn. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Fred replied smiling. "Well this stuff is starting to harden and in unpleasant places so I think I'm going to go and take a shower, I'll see you after ok?" Fred said dying to escape Dawns piercing gaze that she seemed almost unable to tear herself from. Dawn for her part just smiled innocently, unknowing of the other woman's inner turmoil.
"Sure! When you're done showering I'd love to get to know you better, maybe toke some more or something." Dawn replied happily.
Cordelia was walking past their guest's rooms when she heard yelling and then a shout of frustration that could only belong to her new friend the ex vengeance demon. Cordy decided to investigate so she knocked on Anya's bedroom door. The door swung wide open a moment later and there stood Anya, brown hair still dripping from her shower wearing only a robe. Her eyes were on fire and her jaw was set dangerously.
"Woah!" Cordy said holding her hands up, "I come in peace." Anya just walked back into her room grabbing a towel to dry her hair. Cordy took it upon herself to enter. "So what's going on? I heard you yelling from the hall."
"Nothing." Anya continued with the action of drying her hair but Cordy could see the unshed tears of frustration in the other woman's eyes.
"Xander did something didn't he." Cordy quietly surmised. Anya looked up at Cordelia so quickly she almost got whiplash.
"How did you know?" Anya asked her face showing her surrender.
"You have that look. So what dumbass thing did he do know?" Cordelia asked as she led Anya to sit down on the bed with her.
The slayers lay in the bed curled around one another, all sweaty limbs askew.
"God I love you B." Faith said as she nuzzled into Buffy's hair. Buffy smiled peacefully and replied "Mmm" while pulling Faith closer to her.
"Next time we get high we have to make sure our witch duo don't do any magic.." Faith said.
"Definitely." Buffy agreed wholeheartedly.
Now that Fred had showered and made herself presentable she kept trying to think of a way to avoid Dawn. Fred kept pacing and then stopped realizing she was being ridiculous, being afraid of some innocent teenage girl. Besides she should be more worried about avoiding Angel and Gunn she thought to herself as she blushed again. Just then she heard a soft knock on her door. She opened the door to see sweet little dawn, fully clothed thank god, she thought to herself, standing before her.
"When you didn't show I thought I would wander around, see if I could find you." Dawn smiled to her new friend.
"Yeah I was just thinking about how I was going to explain what happened down there to Angel and Gunn." Fred replied.
"I think Cordy did that for you. I met Gunn he seems pretty cool though he can't keep the shit eating grin off his face." Dawn said her eyes twinkling mischievously. Fred put her hands over her face blushing to her roots again.
"I could just die of embarrassment today." Fred said.
"Hey its ok." Dawn said rubbing Fred's arm.
"Yeah maybe for you, you don't live with these people." Fred smiled wanly.
"Yeah well you don't have the slayer as a big sister." Dawn stated giving Fred a sideways grin.
Suddenly Fred realized Dawn was still touching her and practically burned her. She stepped back quickly panicking. She saw the confused look on Dawns face so she suggested the first thing that came to mind.
"Toke?" Fred asked her voice unsteady. Dawn went back to smiling almost immediately.
"…And that's when I hung up on him." Anya finished her story. Cordelia just shook her head and listened to Anya's version of events.
"I see he hasn't grown up much since last I saw him." She responded.
"I can't believe you're actually siding with me." Anya said sounding completely shocked.
"Oh I know all about it. The Scoobies can do no wrong while the rest of us are just… there." Cordy responded looking wholly unimpressed. "Don't sweat it honey." Cordy said rubbing Anya's back in a soothing manner.
Anya smiled at Cordelia gently. "Thanks… you know for listening." Anya explained.
Cordy smiled and was about to get up from the bed when Anya practically lunged at her. She felt the ex demons lips move against her own insistently but she pulled back breaking the connection.
"Hey! Hold on. I will not be a vengeance fuck." Cordy stated seriously. Anya grinned evilly using her fingers to draw patters across the top of Cordelia's thigh.
"You're much to hot to just be a vengeance fuck Cordy." Anya said breathlessly. Cordelia giggled at that but still pulled back as Anya tried once again to kiss her.
"What about Xander?" Cordy asked seriously.
"It's over. It was bound to happen at some point. I just never wanted to be the one to end it. But I think we said all that needed to be said on the phone." Anya replied standing and moving away from Cordy. Assuming that Anya had a momentary lapse in judgement Cordelia stood to leave the room. She got half-way to the door when she heard Anya ask, "Where do you think you're going?" Cordelia turned just in time to see the robe Anya had been wearing drop to the floor in a satin puddle. Cordelia's mouth dropped open but she recovered her voice quickly, replying, "No where I guess." At that Anya smiled sexily and stepped forward to drag her soon to be lover to the big bed in the middle of the room.
Fred and Dawn sat in Fred's room on her bed with the bong and weed having already toked a few timed both were totally blitzed.
"So where do you think everyone else is?" Fred asked Dawn.
"Fucking probably." Dawn said calmly.
"Dawn!" Fred exclaimed.
"What?" She replied putting on her innocent face.
"Watch your mouth!" Fred was actually amused by Dawn's harsh words and was beginning to realize that Dawn wasn't as innocent as she first seemed to be. Dawn pursed her lips and tried to look at them, which only made her become cross-eyed which only made her dizzy.
"What are you doing?" Fred asked giggling.
"Well you told me to watch my mouth." Dawn replied trying not to laugh and failing miserably.
"Smartass." Fred laughed realizing she was having the most fun she'd had in months. "Seriously though you really think they're all… u know?" Fred asked. Dawn laughed at Fred's unwillingness to say the word.
"Yeah definitely Buffy and Faith, they never stop I swear. Willow and Tara probably are too. As for Anya and Cordy one can only guess what those two are up to and I don't really think I want to know." Dawn replied loading another bowl and offering the bong to Fred.
"Man looks like you know plenty of lesbians Dawn." Fred said subtly trying to see what way Dawn was inclined.
"Yeah well Buffy, Faith and Willow have all been in relationships with guys before but it never worked out for them. I asked them all about it separately one time."
"Really? What did they say?" Fred asked curiously.
"Buffy stammered something about Faith being her other half, it was funny. Faith said and I quote, 'Two words: Slayer stamina.'" Dawn giggled and continued, "Willow got really red and said something to the effect that guys don't really know what their doing but I think Tara's response was the best."
"Oh and what was that?"
"She said that you love the person not their sex and it shouldn't matter who you're with as long as you're attracted to them and you love them." Dawn smiled brightly and continued, "I've never been in love, well I mean I had a crush a few times and I was under a love spell for a while but otherwise that's it. Just schoolgirl crushes, nothing real where anyone would actually notice me." Dawn answered.
"I can't see how they wouldn't notice you." Fred said before she had time to think about what was coming out of her mouth. Dawns face, which had fallen into a sullen pout, broke out into a huge smile as she blushed and looked at Fred coyly as if seeing her for the first time. She put her hand on top of Fred's and began rubbing her thumb over the soft skin there. Both of them could feel that familiar tingle of attraction but neither said a word.
"We have to get up." Buffy said. Faith groaned, "Why?"
"I have to go check on Dawn." Buffy replied.
"She's a big girl now B I'm sure she's fine." Faith muttered only half-awake.
"Still if anyone can get into trouble its her. You can stay in bed if you want but I'm going." Buffy said already rolling out of bed and pulling her clothes on. Faith groaned in mock protest as she too grabbed her clothes and put them on mumbling about life being unfair.
Tara and Willow had long since gotten out of the shower.
"Yeah so I think we shouldn't use magic so much and it really is bad idea when we're high." Tara stated logically.
"You're totally right baby." Willow replied as they snuggled together fully clothed.
"So I guess we should go face the music." Tara sighed.
"Yeah I guess." Willow replied, not really enjoying the thought either.
They both got up anyway and headed out.
Fred and Dawn had soon felt the effects of a little too much weed and began to get extremely sleepy so they both had laid down on Fred's bed and had been asleep in minutes. What they had not expected however was that they would both end up in a very intimate embrace while they slept.
Buffy and Faith didn't know which doors led to where so they both took a side of the hall and were opening doors one by one. Faith opened yet another door and peered inside to see Fred and Dawn sleeping. Faith's mouth dropped open as she noted the look of pure contentment on both of their faces as well as the way it looked like even in sleep Fred was cherishing Dawn as she held her. Her very next thought was, Buffy is going to kill Fred. So Faith shut the door checking to see if Buffy had noticed anything, luckily she had not.
"Any luck?" Faith asked Buffy innocently.
"No… I think I'll go ask Angel if he's seen her." Buffy replied.
"Okay I'll continue looking, damn this place is big." Faith exclaimed looking around.
"Understatement of the year." Buffy responded as she walked away. Faith took a deep breath of relief and entered Fred's room again. She was loathe to wake them, they looked so freaking cute, but it had to be done.
"Up and at'em!" Faith exclaimed. The two women woke up groggily not yet totally aware of their surroundings and their position. They both seemed to realize the intimate position they were in at the same time. Dawn smiled and raised an eyebrow while Fred's brown eyes grew immensely large. Fred bolted out of bed almost knocking over the bong they'd placed on the bedside table. Lucky for her Faith was fast and had awesome reflexes because she grabbed it in time so no bong water was spilt.
"I'm dead. I know it I'm dead." Fred said scared out of her skull. Dawn and Faith couldn't help but laugh at the look of pure dread that Fred was sporting.
"Chill chicka, I didn't narc on you to B. But you're gonna tell me what happened in here right now." Faith replied evenly.
"Nothing!" Fred replied shrilly, "Nothing, I swear."
"Dawny?" Faith asked in conformation.
"Still quite virginal Faith, wanna check the chastity belt to make sure." Dawn replied sarcastically not even bothering to sit up from the bed.
"Damn I think you've been spending to much time with me Dawny…" Faith laughed shaking her head at the girl she'd come to think of as a little sister as well. Dawn just shrugged still smiling.
"Listen Dawny if Buffy saw what I did when I walked in here earlier…" Faith said trailing off.
"My sex life has nothing to do with Buffy." Dawn said.
"Sex life!" Both Fred and Faith exclaimed loudly.
"Could you guys be any louder?" Dawn winced.
"Dawn you shouldn't even be having sex you're too young." Faith said trying her best to be the voice of reason.
"Oh? And how old were you when you first had sex?" Dawn asked archly.
"That's beside the point." Faith replied skirting the issue.
"Faith I'm going to have sex eventually, it might be with Fred it might not but it doesn't really matter it will happen. And it will happen when I chose not when you or Buffy say it's ok. This is another one of those times you need to trust me to make the right decision for myself." Dawn explained to her sister's girlfriend and whom she considered as her friend. Faith rubbed her forehead feeling a headache coming on. Fred's brain was still stuck on Dawns little sex speech and the fact that she was in it as her mouth gaped open like a fish.
"Alright Dawny, you're seventeen, you're right I can't follow you around and make you stay a virgin. But can you please at least talk to your sister before you do anything so I don't get my ass kicked?" Faith almost pleaded. Dawn took pity on the brunette in front of her.
"Ugh, yeah I guess."
"Alright well this shit is giving me a headache I'm stealing some of your weed Bookworm." Faith commented to Fred as she took the weed and bong and left the room.
Willow and Tara were totally lost in the labyrinth they called a hotel. They just continued walking around until Willow piped up. "I think I hear something down here." The two witches walked down to the door where the sounds where emanating from and listened for a moment.
"Oh god!" a familiar voice shouted. Tara and Willow looked at each other quickly.
"Anya! Ungh!" They heard exclaimed still in the same desperate tone of voice.
"Is that?" Tara asked not finishing her sentence.
"Anya and Cordy, yeah." Willow replied the truth dawning on her like a bucket of ice water.
After Faith had left Fred's room Fred looked to Dawn who still lay on the bed her hands behind her head looking quite relaxed. She had finally wrapped her mind around what happened and after a brief silence said,
"Dawny?" grinning at the girls nickname.
"Ugh!" Dawn moaned pulling a pillow over her head. Fred couldn't contain her giggles.
"Come on Dawny we better go find your sister before she freaks." Fred leaned over pulling the pillow off Dawns covered head. Dawns long brown hair was now a mess and a few strands lay haphazardly across her face. Dawn blew air at them from her mouth unsuccessful in budging them. Fred still leaning over Dawns body laughed more and reached out her hand to help Dawn up. She misjudged Dawns strength however and was pulled down on top of her. Before she even knew what was happening her lips were poised directly above Dawns and all she could do was lie there and stare at them. Luckily Dawn knew what she wanted and took it by lifting her head to press her lips lightly to Fred's. Just then the door burst open and Willow and Tara bolted in.
"You guys you'll never believe what we heard." Was out of Willows mouth before she had time to take in what she was seeing in front of her. Tara for her part just looked stunned as she thought of Dawn like a little sister and no one ever wants to see their sister in the middle of a make-out session.
"Oh my." Tara said.
"Understatement of the year." Willow replied her eyes still glued to the scene before her.
Buffy was still roaming around opening doors when she heard muffled sounds coming from one of the nearby rooms. Frustrated because of all the searching she just burst into the room about to give Dawn a piece of her mind when she saw a very naked Anya and semi naked Cordelia in bed together.
After calming Tara and Willow down all four women went looking for Buffy but instead found a nicely mellowed out Faith.
"Yeah I just talked to Angel he said he sent Buffy to ask Cordy if she'd seen you." Faith said to Dawn.
Just then from not far down the hallway they heard the distinct sound of Buffy yelling, "Holy Shit!" Without waiting for an explanation Faith took off at a run so the others followed, getting to the room merely seconds after Faith. Willow and Tara knew what they would find in that room but had yet to have the time to tell anyone else so before Dawn or Fred could see what all the commotion was about Willow pulled them aside.
"Trust me you don't wanna know." And Tara nodded in agreement.
Faith however couldn't be stopped, thinking her girlfriend might be in some kind of trouble she burst into the room. What she saw made her wish for a photographic memory because it was a kodak moment for sure. Cordelia lay prone on the bed her legs wide open with Anya who was obviously in the process of going down on her and Buffy standing there looking absolutely stupefied.
"Well isn't this interesting." Faith said smiling like the cat that ate the canary.
"Understatement of the year Faith. Jesus this isn't a spectator sport, think you could grab your stunned girlfriend and get her out of here she looks like she is going to have a heart attack." Cordelia said crossly to Faith. Faith just laughed and dragged Buffy from the room closing the door on the way out.
"After that I don't think there's another time I will ever need to be high more than right now." Buffy said still in shock over what she had witnessed. The rest of the women tried not to laugh at the slayer's state but they couldn't help it and they all busted a gut.
"Man wait till X-man finds out…" Faith said shaking her head.
"That's going to suck." Dawn said succinctly.
"Understatement of the fucking year!" Faith said echoing Buffy's earlier statement one last time.
"Let's go get wrecked." Buffy said to the group, "I need to forget everything I've seen in the last 15 minutes."
To be continued... maybe.