Author's Notes: This is it! Last chapter, not counting the Epilogue. I'm not sure what everyone will think of this, but I hope you enjoy it…

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Alone

Looking back, the month following Ellie and Snape's fight became almost a blur. The one thing Ellie was able to say years later about it was that they managed to avoid each other as much as possible, even when in class together – with one exception.

Ellie received a swift answer to her letter from Amelia, assuring her that she was very welcome to come to her as soon as her exams were over. She did not even have to wait until the end of term. Amelia would write to Dumbledore to make the necessary arrangements. All that remained now was to tell Snape.

Ellie seriously considered saying nothing to him until closer to her departure, but she felt she at least owed him an explanation as soon as possible. It was with a heavy heart that she walked down the long, cold, dark corridor leading to Snape's dungeon office, and with a shaky hand that she knocked softly on the door. His familiar bark of "Enter," beckoned her in. Nervously, she opened the door and crossed the threshold into the chamber beyond. The sight of Snape sitting at his desk, bending over a piece of parchment with a quill in his hands greeted her. He glanced up briefly to see who it was that had just entered his office and then his eyes returned to his parchment. A second later, his head jerked up and his body went rigid as if he had only just now realised that the person he had just seen was Ellie.

"Professor Snape," Ellie stammered. He nodded his head to her in return, his eyes wide open. The air between them was tense. Each regarded the other with a mixture of uncertainty and curiosity. Ellie stepped forward, nearer to his desk but without taking a seat. She felt that she needed to remain standing.

"I… I thought you should know… I've decided to go to live with Amelia after the exams are over."

Snape's stony expression registered a brief mixture of surprise, disappointment, but acceptance. He nodded slightly, and his face slid back into a more neutral expression.

"I see," he said quietly. He was silent for a moment, but then added, "Perhaps that's for the best."

Tears sprang to Ellie's eyes as a wave of sadness swept over her.

"I want you to know… I'm very grateful for everything you've done for me, but…" Ellie had to stop to choke back an unexpected sob. Snape nodded again, looking at the floor.

"When are you leaving?"

"As soon as the exams are finished," Ellie replied with a shaky voice.

"Well… if that's…. if that's what you want…"

"I just think that… (sighing) that we're very different people, with different ideas on what's right and what's acceptable and what's not… and I think that we'd…. we'd drive each other crazy if I stayed here."

"Right," Snape said firmly, nodding his head again. He looked up at her and she was surprised by the cold expression in his eyes.

"Well, don't let me keep you," he said in a bored voice, and inclined his head towards the door.

Ellie suddenly felt like she had been stabbed in the chest. It was as if Snape had decided he didn't even care that she was leaving. This was killing her, and he was already looking back over his parchment again.

"I'm sure you have an exam to study for, Miss Winterbourne," Snape added, keeping his eyes glued to his parchment.

Ellie frowned in confusion to hear Snape calling her "Miss Winterbourne", and more tears formed behind her eyes, forcing her to blink to keep her vision from blurring.

"Is that it?" she asked, confused.

Snape clicked his tongue irritably and looked up.

"What were you expecting?"

"I…"

"Did you want me to beg you to stay?" he sneered.

Ellie shook her head, beginning to feel very distressed.

"No, I just thought…"

"You thought you could manipulate me to do what you wanted in some pathetic attempt to convince you not to leave?"

Ellie was shocked by the cruel tone in Snape's voice, and the harsh gleam in his eyes.

"No!"

"I see. Well Miss Winterbourne, I'm afraid whatever it is you're looking for, you won't find it here." He turned back to his parchment.

There was a pause and then:

"I'm looking for someone to love me."

It was out of her mouth before Ellie even knew what she was saying. Her hands trembled by her sides when she was finished and she gazed fearfully at Snape as she waited for his response.

When Ellie said it, Snape felt like someone had just cut into him with a knife. His whole body flinched. He continued to stare at his parchment as his breathing became slightly heavier, taking a moment before finally daring to look up at Ellie. The frightened, tearful expression on her face would be enough to melt anyone's heart, and were Snape a weaker man Ellie would have left his room feeling like the happiest person in the world. A sudden resolve had taken over him however, forcing him to stay seated in his chair, a grim expression on his face.

He had been entertaining a fool's dream for the last few months by believing it was possible for Ellie to live with him. She had been right of course – it was unreasonable of him to expect her to remain locked up all summer in that Godforsaken house. He had hated it as a teenager, and as an adult, he hated it more. To expect Ellie to accept it has her home – as her prison – was unfair.

He knew that it would not be possible to give Ellie what she wanted. He suspected that she was holding out for him to make some grand, fatherly gesture and announce proudly to the world that she was his daughter and that he wanted everyone to know it. She wanted to not just be loved, as had just told him, she wanted to feel loved. He sympathised with her more than she knew. How well he understood her pain, although she would never know.

Amelia could give that to her. Selfishly, jealously, he hated her for that. Even Jamie, the boy he detested so much for that very reason, could gladly and willingly give Ellie what she needed. To make Ellie stay with him to be alone and miserable and "hidden away" as she had put it would be cruel and selfish.

With Amelia and Jamie Ellie would feel loved and wanted. With him, she would only feel frustrated and rejected. He had wanted so desperately to have Ellie in his life that he had ignored this, but what had happened on Friday had acted as a stark reminder of how delicate their situation really was. She would only grow to hate him if she stayed.

"Well, perhaps you will be better off with Amelia then," Snape said coldly.

Ellie's body seemed to crumple at these worlds. She was dangerously close to collapsing on the floor with sobs. She could not even speak, and escape was the only relief she could think of. She ran, her legs shaky but just about holding her upright, out of the room, down the corridor, up into the Entrance Hall and up the main staircase. Her whole body aching, she couldn't go much further, and ducked into a nearby girl's toilet. She sunk against the wall, overcome by wracking sobs. It had all been a disaster. Everything with Snape… it had all been for nothing. She had been so stupid! She was glad she was leaving. She wished she could leave now, just leave and never come back.

It was a sunny morning in June. Birds chirped outside the windows and a fresh breeze danced through the courtyard, bringing with it exquisite smells for the multi-coloured flowerbeds that were in full-bloom outside of the castle. Excited chattering and laughter could be heard throughout the castle as students everywhere were still celebrating the end of exams four days ago. No more classes to worry about - no more homework, no more studying and, for one third year Gryffindor, no more Hogwarts.

Whilst her classmates messed about by the lake, laughing and joking without a care in the world, Ellie was in her dormitory, packing up her possessions. It was with a bittersweet feeling that she folded up her school robes and placed them neatly in her trunk, knowing she would never wear them again. Next were school things such as quills, ink pots, books, her old class notes and even some essays that she had received good marks on and did not want to part with. A few personal items came last – some photos of her classmates, silly notes that she had been passed in class that mainly made fun of Devin Farley – and her mum's diary. Satisfied that she had remembered everything, and taking one last tearful look around the room, Ellie stepped out onto the spiral staircase and walked down into the empty Gryffindor common room.

Ellie was glad no one else was there, so she could shed some tears in peace. She stared for a long time at the corner where she and Jamie had had so many private talks, and then smiled to herself. She had had some happy times and some sad ones in this room, but each moment was a moment she treasured. Another last look around, trying to take in every detail, and then she was through the portrait hole and making her way to the Entrance Hall.

As Ellie descended the wide staircase, she spotted Snape skulking about at the bottom. He looked up and saw her and their eyes locked. She stopped walking for a moment, as each looked uncertainly at the other. Slowly, she continued on her way and finally reached the bottom. She and Snape nodded awkwardly to each other and stood apart in silence. Eventually, about a minute later, Snape spoke.

"So… you're leaving today," he said in a quiet voice. It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah," Ellie said. "Amelia's meeting here," she added as an afterthought.

Snape nodded, staring at the floor.

"Right," he replied.

There was more silence between them. Ellie was feeling more wretched by the second.

"I just… I want you to know," she said finally, "…I meant it when I said I appreciate everything you've done for me."

Snape nodded, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"I wish that… I wish that things could have been different," she added.

Snape glanced up at her.

"Well, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself," he said curtly.

"Um… yeah," she said vaguely.

They lapsed into silence, but Snape did not leave, as Ellie half-expected he would. It seemed he had decided to remain with her until the end. Ellie wondered hopefully if that meant something, and then chastised herself for thinking such foolish thoughts.

Amelia arrived in the Hall after a while, with Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall at her side. They were going to accompany Amelia and Ellie to Hogsmeade. Snape withdrew to a shadowy corner behind the stairs. Amelia and Professor McGonagall showed no signs of seeing him, but Dumbledore's eyes darted briefly to the corner in which he was standing.

"Ready to go?" Amelia asked brightly.

Ellie nodded her head.

"Now, is this all your luggage? We have a carriage waiting outside."

Ellie nodded again. Her trunk and Helga's cage were standing beside her. Helga herself had been sent ahead and was being looked after by Jamie. Taking an owl on a plane would raise more than a few eyebrows.

Amelia took charge of Ellie's trunk and wheeled it outside. Professor McGonagall followed her and Dumbledore picked up Helga's cage.

"We'll be waiting for you outside," he told her, and Ellie could have sworn he winked at her before he followed the others out.

Ellie glanced at Snape, who stepped out from the shadows once more. She didn't know what to say. How do you say goodbye to your father when you don't know if you will ever see him again?

They looked awkwardly at each other for a few moments. Ellie was aware that the others were waiting for her, so finally, in a choked voice, she spoke up.

"Well… bye then," she said. Snape said nothing in reply, which hurt Ellie deeply. She turned to leave, tears springing to her eyes, but Snape called after her.

"I know results are not supposed to come out until next week…."

Ellie turned around, curious.

"…But I happen to know that your professors have already marked your exam papers and… I just thought you'd want to know that you came top of your year."

There was an unmistakable glow of pride in his voice, and Ellie thought she could detect something in his eyes that she had never seen before – a look that he had kept hidden from her, but in this moment, it shone through his barriers. Ellie was hesitant to put a label on it, she had been hurt so much already, but she knew that if Snape asked her to right now, she would stay.

She glanced at him, holding her breath, not daring to hope. His mouth opened, and Ellie's heart began to beat furiously against her ribs, but he hesitated, and seemed to change his mind. Ellie hung her head in bitter disappointment.

"Goodbye… Ellie," he said quietly. The use of her chosen nickname touched her. It felt almost like a gesture from him – for whatever reasons she could not understand he would not allow himself to love her, but maybe somewhere, deep down…

"Goodbye… Dad," she whispered softly, and was gone before Snape had time to react.

He walked swiftly to the door and peered out, in time to see Ellie jump into a carriage and watch it take off. He walked outside, watching the carriage make its way towards the gates, taking Ellie out of his life. He stood watching for a long time, long after the carriage had moved out of his sight, long after it had returned with Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore, the latter giving him a comforting look that he never saw. Students streamed inside around him, but he remained outside, watching, lost in his own thoughts – thoughts of Claudia and Ellie mixed up together - two people he loved who had walked out of his life, the former never to return again. Would Ellie ever return again? Would he ever see her again? These thoughts tortured him for a long time, for many hours, days, months, years…

It was not until the sun began to set and dusk had settled over Hogwarts that Snape turned back and returned to the castle, alone - as he always had been, and always would be.