Disintegration II: The sun ain't gonna shine no more
In a dark room at
the upper floor of Spinners End, a ticking clock was the only sound
made. The shape of a boy or a young man squatted in the corner of the
room. He seemed to barely even breathe; his silvery, almost white,
blond hair hung down in his pale, pointy face which was buried in his
hands.
Draco Malfoy was alone, guarding Severus Snapes residence
as the Death Eaters were on a mission to finish off the last remnants
of the Order of the Phoenix.
He had got it now; it was burning
hot-white on his left arm… the Dark Mark was carved into his very
skin for eternal time.
Draco got up off the floor. Quietly, he lit
a lamp which stood on a small, rickety table, only to examine the
Mark. The Mark, however, was not the ugly part of Dracos arm. Ever
since his father Lucius had been imprisoned in Azkaban, something
strange had been happening inside of Draco. All the fear he had felt
towards his father, all the shame and guilt, had not disappeared when
Lucius did. Instead, Draco was constantly tormented by his own
thoughts. When Lucius wasn't there to inflict pain on his son, he
did it to himself.
As Draco now took an old family heirloom of
Eileen Princes – Snapes mother – which was a sharp-edged dagger,
out of his pocket where he always kept it whenever he was alone at
Spinners End, he concentrated on the mantra he forced himself to
think of over and over again:
"I am the most vile and worthless
person to ever have existed on this planet. I disgust myself. I
cannot blame my father for hating me. Everything inside of me is
filthy and rotten. I deserve to suffer; I deserve nothing but pain
and misery."
He pressed the blade onto his already scarred arm
and saw, with a fascinated gasp, the familiar glittering dark-red
blood trickle from the made wound. He wanted to hurt himself. He
wanted the guilt to go away, or to feel more of it, he wasn't
exactly sure.
Draco stared at the window. It was so dark outside
that the only thing he could see was his own reflection. Slowly, he
moved his hand, with the knife in a trembling grip, towards his face.
He felt a sudden urge to destroy those hated features, to be
unrecognisable. Draco hesitated. His face; he was about to ruin his
own face…! He stared into his window reflections bright, blue eyes
and decided that they were the only two things that his mother would
recognise him with once she got home.
The feeling itself was
similar to cutting his arm, leg or stomach; that fierce stinging of
pain and – wait – what? Pleasure? Draco let out a gasp of horror.
Sure – that was the truth. The piercing, the pain, the itching, the
blood crawling out from the deeper and deeper cuts… it was
satisfying, a relief; a pleasure, for sure.
Furious because of the
realisation, Draco could no longer hold back his hatred for his own
person; he loathed himself more than anything and so he forced the
dagger deep down in the middle of his own stomach.
A sort of numb,
hollow pain soared through his body. He had never felt anything of
the sort before, not even when his father had been torturing him.
Dracos robes were covered in blood within a few seconds. Tiny, golden
spots that reminded him of stars appeared before his sight as he
started to get dizzy. He was about to lose his balance and fall to
the floor when he felt a cold, long-fingered and strong hand seize
him by his shoulder.
"What on earth are you doing!" snarled
Severus Snape calmly, almost as if what he saw was comical, "having
one of your nightly little private blood baths again? Don't you
ever get sick of yourself? You look disgusting."
Snape dragged
Draco to his bedroom and resolutely placed him upon the rather large
bed covered in blood-red sheets.
"Your face wont be able to
recover", Snape said, "but I doubt anyone will miss it
much."
Snape took out his wand and put a few healing spells on
Dracos most severe wounds. Draco coughed and felt the taste of blood
in his mouth.
The most strange thought had popped into his head;
he wanted Snape to hurt him… to cut him, to torture him, to take
out all his anger and bitterness on Draco.
"Please…", Draco
wheezed, "Master."
Snape raised his eyebrows, but did not
speak.
"Master", said Draco, now with a clearer voice, "do
you want to... hurt me?"
"…Hurt you?" said Snape, almost
with a trace of fear in his voice.
"I want you to hurt me",
said Draco, refusing to open his eyes and meet Snapes piercing
gaze.
Slowly, Snape made his way to the bed. He had never thought
this – this fantasy would ever come true. He had wanted to inflict
pain on this boy since the first day he saw him, but not only
physical pain, but… sexual pain.
He bent like a beast of prey
over Draco and ripped his robes apart in one powerful move. Draco
gasped, more blood flowed from his face and mouth, suddenly his eyes
were wide open and he saw his own, now naked, body almost fully
covered in blood and Snapes hook-nosed face with the long, black
curtains of greasy hair that reached his shoulders. He felt the blood
raising to his genitals and realised how completely hard he was. When
Snape took a firm grip of Dracos cock, Draco thought he was going to
burst. At the same time, Snape had also slid down two fingers into
the freshly made wound on Dracos stomach. This confusing mixture of
pleasure and pain was almost too much for Draco; it was so arousing
and the ecstasy and the anxiety spread in equal parts of both his
body and mind. Snape started to move his hand gently and stroked
Dracos cock; caressed his glans while picking up the dagger from the
floor and started to make deep cuts all over Dracos torso.
The
stinging, almost unbearable, pain from the dagger as it scratched
deeply into Dracos skin made him scream from pain – along with
Snapes faster and harder strokes of his dick which made him shiver
from pleasure…
As Snape forced the dagger blade deep into Dracos
Dark Mark, the boy couldn't hold it any longer. He came, violently,
into Snapes clutched hand and the sperm mixed up with blood as he
screamed, not quite sure himself if it was from pleasure or from
pain.
Snape didn't say a word, but left immediately.
Draco
laid there, panting, in a mess of his own come and blood. He knew it
was insane, knew it was wrong, sick and twisted, but he didn't
care.
As he fell asleep, Snapes scent and the taste of blood
lingered in his dreams.
