Chapter 3 – Blue

It took me three years to fully become functional in the world again.

They cut my hair, though they were being kind and trying to help, I had cried over it. Three years hadn't been nearly enough time to grow it all back; it used to graze the tops of my ankles when lose. Now it fell somewhere mid-back; they'd cut it so short when they did. I looked like scared young boy during those beginning times.

Funny, how I could grieve such a vanity.

Things had changed considerably in the world. I still had yet to figure out what had caused me to come back into existence, but I tried not to let it bother me. Normal, I was normal now. No more prayers, no more portents... I was attempting to be human now. I worked at a mill, making flour for a small community outside of Kalm.

I didn't try to find them. Any of them.

Once I remembered their names, a hope and love rose within me. I had only known that little team for a short while, but they had all adopted me, in their own ways... and my memories of them had been pleasant, despite the danger and intrigue. Isn't it the duty of the prodigal daughter to come home and be greeted with open arms by her worried family?

Then the other memories came. Of the Watcher times. While my spirit intermingled with that of all of Gaia, where I learned a great many things. Where I lost a great many things.

No more prayers. No more genuflection.

I realized it was better for them to not know; they had relied on my sacrifice to strengthen them. Even... he was beginning to move on. I saw with my own live eyes just a year ago.

I saw his children. Two; a girl and a boy. Oddly Wutain features mixed with his. Beautiful children. I'd never been able to bear any, even before resurrection.

When I saw that, I calculated how long it had been since... they had defeated him. Since they had freed the world of that curse. Since I had been reduced to a symbol. Ten years since "Meteor". Since the greatest calamity since my ancestor's time. And I had been brought back seven years after it. Three years ago.

Three long years ago.

I had learned so much after being dead. That I may have been a fighter in spirit, but I certainly wasn't one in body. Frail. Weak. A staff might have been a good thing to fight off druggies and bums and childish gang members... but it served no purpose when I truly needed it.

They called me a martyr. They were half right; I did die for a cause I believed in. It was the willing part that they didn't get right. I hadn't been ready to die then; I thought it would protect me. And maybe he would protect me, if it failed.

But even he continued living, without me. And judging by his children, without her too. So neither of us got him in the end, did we? Funny how it doesn't ache so much to know that he has moved on as much as it does to see that he was allowed children. Both Tifa and I had been denied that.

I felt it slip from her when she fell into the Lifestream... for then, I was the Lifestream. So many souls and I was one and all of them. I felt the promise of giving life ebb from her... because she sought to find him. Poor deluded girl.

He wasn't the answer. He wasn't the answer at all.

But I had to think about real life now. No more daydreaming. No matter how much this isolation ached, I wasn't really alone... no I wasn't really alone...

"Manakel?"

I looked up, not having realized that I had let my head sink. The young man, near my supposed age, his name was Daniel. His poorly veiled flirtations were a source of amusement every Wednesday, when he came to pick up the flour to take to the store. I had lost a lot of my edge when it came to quick love; protective men in armor or not did nothing for me. I was slow to woo.

Poor Daniel had his work cut out for him.

"Yes? What is it you need?" I asked, while smiling. I could still do that; even if I'm dying, I could smile. Another irony, I suppose.

"There's a man come here to see you," he answered, and I could see those protective worry lines all over his youthfully old face. What is it with men and their constant need to protect me? I'd already died once... this time, I'd be better prepared for it. This time, I think I'd welcome it.

He opened the door, and I rose; impolite to be sitting down while a guest appears. I was a mess too, with my bun falling out and surely covered in flour... funny how worried I get about such things these days. Small comforts and habits, I guess.

Daniel darted out of the doorway, letting the other man in. His fairly slight frame was replaced by that of a taller, lean but fit...

Oh, Hell no.

"Hello, Aeris," he said, that smugly familiar baritone filling up the small room, "You've been a little difficult to track down." How dare he, that... that...

I took the steps necessary, a good thing I was already standing, and slapped him as hard as I could. That may not have been nearly hard enough to do anything, but I had a sharp little ring on... and if you backhand properly, it will scratch.

He wasn't the only one I'd slapped in the past three years. If good men feel the need to constantly protect me, then bad men feel the need to take advantage of that. I was weak in body, but I'd never be weak in will.

"It was you, wasn't it!" I shouted at him, feeling angry, angrier than I'd ever felt before, "It was you, Sephiroth!" There was no doubt in my mind now what had resurrected me, no other creature would be foul enough to pay the price necessary for me to live. No one would be able to kill so easily.

He smirked at me, bringing a long fingered hand up to his cheek and almost chuckling when it came away bloodied. So he could bleed. Somehow, that startled me almost more than his appearance.

"I don't go by that inane title anymore," he replied, almost sounding bored with himself. Maybe he'd take on a different tone if I slapped him again. My, I'd gotten very aggressive over the years.

"What do you want?" I asked, even before my brain caught up with me. He had closed the door, no doubt so Daniel wouldn't come rushing in to rescue me from the great "general". At least he'd gotten rid of that horrible coat.

He still had the ridiculous hair, though. I guess we both had our vanities.

"To collect what is mine," he answered with a casual sort of elegance, "To collect what I am entitled to, as I exist now. You may call me Azrael." The nerve of him. Just who... what... I was stumped as to his meaning. Did he mean... me?

"Sephiroth," I emphasized his name because no fancy new title was going to make him suddenly above me, "What makes you think that... and why did you bring me back!"

He edged in, and I couldn't help but back up. I had remembered those eyes; even as I was on the very brink of life... even death had not let me forget them. Even on him, I could finally see the difference. Two hands, ungloved now, grabbed my shoulders and flung me roughly against the wall.

Cloud's madness had only been but a fraction of this man's. Man, ha, I had no idea what he was now. He'd either died then risen or hadn't died at all... humans didn't do that. The briefest of thoughts flashed through my head...

Did this mean that whatever was human in me was gone too?

"I did not bring you back, Aeris," he snarled, and I could feel his breath on my face... it was almost cold. So he bled like a man and breathed like a monster. How terribly ironic.

"Stop calling me that! I'm Manakel now! Manakel!" I shouted, the hell with self control. My murderer stood here, bullying me around and telling me that I somehow belonged to him? Not only that, he'd brought me back to life and was lying about it! What did he intend on killing me again? I would not give him that—

"I did not bring you back!" he hissed louder now. I heard a knock on the door, but I realized that he'd locked it. Probably Daniel... I was very loud if I wanted to be. If I shouted again, the whole town of Kalm would probably be at my doorstep.

"Then who did?" I whispered, jaw clenched. I'd save my shouting for something biting.

"Why my supposed mother, of course," he said, smiling like a fox. Like he was somehow exempt of whatever reaction I was about to deliver.

It was then that I screamed, a loud and piercing thing that was sure to shatter his eardrums. So loud that even the silent Planet would hear. For this was anguish, pure and simple. The pain of the past only came back as the same thing...

Jenova.

AN: Now you're asking "Why didn't Aeris go back to see Cloud? Didn't she love him?". Well, she did. That's specifically why she didn't go and seek him out. If you don't get that, I'm sorry. But I'm trying to be realistic, at least a little. Oh, and I hope you like who resurrected her. Mwhaha.