Ollen70: This chapter was written for Setzer's point of view.

The Letter


My dear...

Oh, my dear...

If I could explain how much it still hurts to think of you, I would. It's one of those situations that vocalizing can't make better, no matter how much we wish it could. I was never one for putting my thoughts into words anyway, so I suppose it's so much the better.

As I sit here, all I can think about is what used to be, and it burns inside of me to no end. When I lost the Blackjack, I thought I'd lost my wings. I did, truth be told, but that wasn't the worst part. In a way, I'd lost all of you that still remained to me - our last bond. When Kefka ruined the world, he took the sky as well. For a long time, I couldn't bear the sight of it. I spent the better part of a year in the Inn in Kholingen with the curtains drawn, wishing that this dream would end and the world would be as it should be once again.

More and more, I realize that such a day might never come, but things are better than they were, at least. I still search for you in everything that I see, but I've become resigned to the fact that I won't find you. At the same time, I feel like I'm doing my part - like you're here with me. Like your arms are around me.

One year after the fall, a woman found me. We had met before, and I think she understood what it was I was hiding from. This woman helped me remember who I was. If the two of you could ever have met, I'm sure you would have been friends.

With her help, I made my way again into your tomb, back down into the very darkest part of my life. How is it I never told you how much you meant to me before that day? How is it that I waited so long, whispering into the night what I should have told you when we were still together? When you died, did you know that I loved you?

To tell the truth, when I actually accepted that you were gone, I hated you for leaving me. For some reason, I blamed you for what happened. If anything, I should have blamed myself for not standing on that deck beside you. That way, we could have gone together. Sometimes, when the nights are long, I find myself asking questions that I'd rather not know the answers to. Were you afraid, before the end? Were you in pain? Did you cry out for me as I did for you when I learned what had happened?

A new friend of mine had an odd experience not long ago on the legendary phantom train, and the stories he told of it chill my blood. Did it take you? Were you collected in that manner, or were you taken into heaven by friendlier means? You don't deserve purgatory. If anyone ever born on the earth was made for heaven, it was you. After all, you came closest to touching it while you were still living.

When I'm feeling particularly romantic, I like to think that you didn't die in the wreckage of the Falcon, like I know you did. I like to believe that it was someone else's body, and that the angels merely reached out and took your hands while you flew by. You'd laugh if you heard me say that, though. I was always too superstitious for you. But then, God is probably the only one who knows just how much I truly miss you.

My dearest Daryl... Forgive me if I never love again. You would have told me to, just as I would have wanted you to if our roles had been reversed. I've honestly tried, even resorting to a petty bet once, doing the best I could to leave you behind me. I can't, though. I will never feel the same for anyone else, and in some very strange way, that makes me proud.

Don't you see? You're everything that I need. Even when you're gone, you're really still here. You'll live forever without end, because your soul was always of the enduring kind. All I ask is that you wait for me, as long as you can. Wait for me, Daryl. A lifetime can't seperate us.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Celes asked timidly, stepping into the small room he'd rented in the Kholingen Inn. He looked up from his desk, hunched over an ink-well and a sheet of parchment. He spun the quill expertly in her direction, gesturing lavishly for her to come in with a small, strange smile on his lips. For some reason, it felt almost heart-breaking to see him smile that way.

What can I do for you, my dear? He asked quietly. While he spoke, he looked severely down on the parchment and blew out his breath, drying the ink. His tone was light, though, and it made her laugh a little.

The attendant on the Falcon said to tell you that everything is ready. We're all set to leave, as soon as you want to.

Excellent news, was his reply, smiling more brightly. More legitimately, really. She believed him when he spoke out from under that smile. She would have believed anything he'd told her.

Folding the paper carefully, he put it in the inner pocket of his brown leather jacket and hefted himself up from out of his chair.

Let's get going, shall we?

What were you doing? She asked timidly, not wanting to pry into something that wasn't her business, but at the same time genuinely curious. That odd smile replaced the brighter one.

I was just... getting some business in order. Turning, he adjusted his jacket and corked the ink-well. Let's get going. We have a lot to take care of.

Feeling herself smile at his own off-hand manner, Celes fell into step behind him, leaving the dark little room in the past.

Ollen70: Thanks for reading. Suggestions are always welcome. Thanks to JADexter and Kd Zeal - as always =) - for their reviews.