Author: GrapeSmshr
Rated: R
Coupling: HP/SS slashy goodness
Disclaimer: As much as I wish it were so, these charas don't belong to me.
Thanks to: Crazy Mary-J, whose masterful wit and evilness has definitely prodded my sorry behind along in writing. Appreciate all your help, dear!
A/N: Sorry this took a bit longer than usual to get out. I've had an absolutely hellish week... Turned in a 12 page paper for my History & Systems of Psych class this morning. Had over a month to write it, but I wait til the weekend before. Typical, typical me. Anyway... Enough of my whining. Here it is, the next installment! Read on and enjoy!
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Chapter 3: Insanity
He didn't know what time it was. There was absolutely no light in the Forest, and Harry was navigating on pure instinct. The rain had finally let up only an hour previous, and he had taken the opportunity to plow on, slugging through the mucky tangles of foliage and hiding when he got the distinct impression that a creature was nearby. So far his instincts had served him well.
He remembered the last time he had been in the Forest previous to the battle. It had been with Severus only a week earlier. They had been searching for potions ingredients before stumbling upon a band of trolls. Unable to sneak away unnoticed, they had engaged in a fight that left the two battered and bruised but with pockets of troll claw clippings, which were a great potions ingredient. It had been exhausting but quite exhilarating as well.
Harry smiled at the memory. He had loved watching Severus fight, the lithe body counter in deft movements and with practiced ease and precision. He had long since grown to trust and depend on the man, leaning heavily on him both physically and emotionally in the past year.
After his two best friends had disappeared last fall, Harry had been frantic. When their lifeless bodies were deposited in brightly wrapped packages by Hogwarts's front gate on Christmas morning, Harry had broken down. He had no family left, no godfather, no best friends... He was utterly alone.
Until Severus literally ordered him to stop wallowing over events that couldn't be changed and focus on the future, which could be changed. The two had started training together, gradually becoming civil and eventually forming a tentative friendship. But somewhere along the line it started morphing into something else, something with more depth, more layers, accompanied by more confusion but capped off by strength of heart. Love, perhaps, was too strong a word, but it wasn't too far off in its accuracy.
Harry could only imagine what the man was going through right now, thinking Harry dead. Would he be affected? Would he be sad? Would he even care?
Yes, yes, he would, Harry thought with confidence. His feelings may not be exactly mirrored, but they were at least reciprocated in some form. He knew that much. He desperately needed to get out of this forest. He needed to find Severus and let him know that he was alive, let everyone know that he was alive.
So, when a few moments later he finally stumbled out of the Forest and found himself staring at Hogwarts, he almost wept in joy. He took a few staggering steps forward before his legs collapsed from under him, sending him crashing painfully to the ground. He tried to raise himself up but had no strength to do so. He was so close, and his body had finally given out. He briefly wondered if anyone would find him before some creature wandering on the outskirts of the Forest decided that he looked like a tasty snack.
"I may be joining you yet, Malfoy," he muttered before his eyes closed as he slipped into the land of unconsciousness.
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It had been a hell of a night. Remus propelled his fatigued, aching body through the Forest, cursing the full moon and his lycanthropy not for the first time that morning. At least he had another month before having to endure this torture again. It was a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless, one that he desperately clung to in his haze of dysphoria.
Stepping out of the Forest, he sensed he was not alone before he saw another person. His suspicions were confirmed when he spotted the crumpled body lying in the early morning sun. He stumbled over to the body that was facedown in the dewy grass, falling to his knees beside the male form and gingerly turning the body over. When he saw the face, he recoiled in shock.
It was Harry. Harry's body. He had found Harry's lifeless body.
Gently cradling the deceased body of his deceased best friend's son to his chest, Remus began to weep. Harry had been so strong, so strong. And now he was dead, Remus's surrogate godson and second generation Marauder. Dead. Gone.
And never coming back.
He lowered Harry's body to his lap, tearing falling on the teen's forehead. "I'm sorry, Harry," he sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry."
He didn't notice when the body in his arms gave a choked moan, but he froze in openmouthed shock as those emerald eyes blinked back up at him. His first inclination was to drop Harry's body and run like mad, but he was quite paralyzed. And scared. More than a little so. But when Harry croaked out Remus's name, the lycanthrope yelped and pushed Harry out of his lap, climbing to his feet and backing away cautiously.
"Ouch," Harry groaned as his head smacked once again against the ground. His tired eyes turned to the fearful man staring down at him. "Remus, it's me. Harry." He knew it was a rather imbecilic statement, but his pain-muddled mind wasn't quite up to making coherent sentences. Not until he had a generous dose of Pepper-Up, at least. "Remus. Dumbledore. Please," Harry tried again. "I need to see... Dumbledore." His words began to slur as his vision fuzzed and darkened around the edges. He blinked rapidly, fighting to stay conscious.
Remus's thoughts were reeling. He wanted to believe it was Harry, needed to even. And somewhere in the back of his mind, he did. But there was still a large part of him that was scared beyond all belief. The only instances he knew of where people returned from the nonliving were when they became creatures of the night, which he knew Harry was not. The only logical explanation was that he was an impostor.
Perhaps the suspicion shone on his face because Harry suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out a worn, folded parchment that Remus immediately recognized.
Taking the parchment with shaking hands, Remus unfolded the Marauder's Map and sought out his own scrolling name on the edge of the map's Forbidden Forest. Directly next to him was the scrolled name of Harry Potter. The map didn't lie.
Harry was very much alive.
"Harry--wait--but how..." Remus wondered, confusion and elation and concern bubbling up in him. He sank to his knees again, gingerly pulling Harry into a sitting position. "Harry."
"Remus." Harry blinked owlishly, a weary smile on his face.
Unable to hold back any longer, the older man hugged Harry, trying to keep from sobbing openly. After a few moments, he pulled away, returning Harry's smile. "Let's go see Dumbledore. You can tell us what happened."
Helping Harry to his feet, Remus dropped an arm around the teen's waist as he led the way back to the castle. There was silence between them, only the occasional winded sigh and pained puff of breath breaking the otherwise calm air.
It was still rather early in the morning, so the general population of Hogwarts's professors was asleep, which both were thankful for. Knowing that Albus would be awake--did the man ever sleep?--Remus gave the password to the gargoyle statue, and the two were on their way up the spiraling stairs. At the top of the stairs, he knocked politely on the door, being bid entrance mere moments later.
Albus was not surprised to see Remus. When he was met with the sight of Harry, however, his half-moon spectacles slid off the tip of his nose and fell onto the desk. One wave of his hand, and the spectacles were back in place. For once in his long life, Albus was completely speechless.
This made Harry chuckle. "No offer of tea, Albus?" he joked in a scratchy voice. "Am tired."
"Oh!" Remus led Harry over to a chair, immediately collapsing into the one next to it. They both stared at Albus expectantly, awaiting his reaction.
Steaming mugs of tea appeared in front of them almost instantly. While the exhausted two immediately sipped from their mugs, Albus took this moment to gaze intently at Harry as if he were an enigma, which he was, really. He didn't know what to make of the teen. It was striking, really, the resemblance to the deceased Harry. Because the odds of this Harry being real were infinitesimal. Albus knew a great many things, but he knew not what to say at this moment.
Remus had been expecting this sort of reaction. "It's him, Albus," he said, clasping a hand on Harry's arm protectively. He gave the Marauder's Map to Albus as proof.
But Albus was not to be convinced so easily. He had too much experience with the tampering of magical artifacts to be swayed just by a seemingly authentic scrolled name. "It appears so," Albus murmured noncommittally.
Harry knew that Albus would not be so trusting. He wouldn't be one of the most powerful wizards in all of history if he let his naivete rule his actions. "I understand your skepticism, Albus," Harry said softly. "It took some time for me to adjust to the fact as well." He set his mug down on the desk, beginning to pace. The other two men immediately recognized it as a true Harry habit. "I'm so grateful to be granted a second chance at life. Now I can do those things that I should have a long time ago." He paused in front of the desk. "That includes apologizing to you, Albus. It took quite a while for our relationship to be restored after the end of my fifth year. I never should have blown up at you like that." His head lowered shamefully. "I never meant to make you cry," he whispered. By the time he was finished talking, his voice was hoarse and scratchy, his throat raw.
And that was all it took. Rising shakily from his chair, Albus circled around the desk and embraced Harry warmly. "Harry, my boy. Welcome back." He pulled away, tears glittering in his eyes but not falling this time. He ushered Harry back into his chair, giving both him and Remus a vial of potion, which they both downed gratefully. Returning to his chair, Albus settled in to hear Harry's tale.
Talk Harry did. He started from the battle, to his after-death talk with Malfoy, to his journey out of the Forbidden Forest. He was quite exhausted and in need of a trip to the infirmary, but there was one more person whom he wished to see before he did so.
Albus didn't even need to ask whom said person was. He went directly to the fireplace to make a call.
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Severus had been sitting in his living quarters all night, trying not to think or move or do anything that required the barest of brain functioning. So he was quite startled when Albus's head popped into the fireplace. "Go away, Albus," he snarled without hesitation.
"Good morning to you as well, Severus," Albus rang out pleasantly, unfazed by Severus's lack of manners. "This is not a social call, I'm afraid. Would you care to step into my office?"
"No," he answered bluntly.
"It is in regard to young Harry."
Freezing, Severus immediately wondered and dreaded what Albus had found out. But he had to know. He had to. He gave a terse nod to Albus.
"Whenever you are ready, then." Albus's head disappeared.
Would he ever be ready for this? Was there any way to prepare himself yet again for bad news?
Reluctantly, he stepped through to Albus's office.
At his arrival, Harry's eyes widened in sheer joy as he struggled to push himself out of the chair he had been waiting in. "Severus!"
Albus and Remus stepped off to the side, watching the scene with both apprehension and fascination.
Severus blinked, then blinked again. He was going mad, absolutely and utterly bonkers. Harry was not in front of him. Harry was dead. Harry had died. "You're dead," he uttered his thoughts aloud. "And I must be going insane."
"No, you're not." Harry went to take a step forward but was met by a wand pointed in his direction. He stared at the wand, then back at Severus questioningly.
"Impostor!" the older man accused, gripping the wand more tightly. "You are not Harry! Who are you, and where is his body?"
"I'm right here! It's me!" Harry wasn't stupid; he had both expected and feared this reaction. But he was not to be deterred. "Severus, it really is me. I was brought back."
"Rubbish!" But even as Severus said this, his hand started trembling violently, wand shaking. He still held it pointed, though he was unsure he would be able to hit even the wall with a hex at this point.
"It's true," Harry continued, bravely taking another step forward, eyes not on the wand now but on Severus's face. "The Higher Powers sent me back. Turns out my Prophecy was actually good for something." He laughed ruefully, then sobered. "It really is me. You of all people know that Polyjuice potion can't be used on a deceased person, and you would be able to detect a glamour of this magnitude the moment you stepped into the room." Cautiously moving forward, he stopped directly in front of the wand. "Please. I would have come to you first, but Remus found me and had to practically carry me up here. Please," he repeated. "I trust you with my life. Please trust me now."
When Severus made no sound, no move, Harry sighed heavily and said, "That's fine. I figured as such." He turned around to leave, murmuring, "I'm just happy that you're still alive, even if you couldn't promise me at the time."
He got no further than two steps before a warm, strong hand grabbed his wrist, spinning him around to face the potions master. "Harry?" Wand clattering to the floor, Severus looked like he wanted to embrace Harry but would not do so with an audience. But that was all right for now. The happiness at Harry's presence was plainly visible in Severus's eyes.
"I think it's about time we head over to see Poppy," Remus said gently.
"We will talk later, yes?" Harry asked, opposite hand reaching up to gently squeeze the hand encircling his wrist.
"Of course," Severus replied, reluctantly pulling away. And without a backwards glance, he retrieved his wand and flooed back to his quarters.
"Now then, I do say that Poppy will be most thrilled to have her favorite patient back," Albus commented.
Chuckling under their breath, the three made their way slowly to the infirmary.
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Finally they meet back up! I know, their meeting was totally short. All in good time, my friends. Next chapter, maybe. We'll see.
As always, thanks so much for reading and or reviewing! I do so much appreciate and love the support. It just makes my day that much brighter. And believe me, I could use a bright day right about now. To all of you who got shirtless Sev from reviewing last chapter, review this one and you can have a trouserless Sev! If that ignites a fire in ya, please review! (one of these days I'll actually get around to finishing my fanart so I can depict such a Sev...)
Alrighty, see ya next update. Peace out!