"Birds of Pray"

Chapter 4

"Simon Says: Part II"

On Monday, Katherine saw her third grade class safely onto their busses and then went back into the empty school.

She wasn't surprised when she entered her classroom and found Simon perched on the back of her chair, just as he'd been on Friday afternoon. He was even reading the same book.

"Anything interesting in there?" she asked.

"A lot of the stuff in this book is just plain wrong," he replied without looking up.

"Oh really?" she asked, amused.

"Yes." He shut the book and tossed it on the desk. "Especially the history."

"I'll keep that in mind," she assured him as he jumped down from his perch. "So, what's up?"

"I see your attitude has changed a bit since our last conversation," he observed mildly. "So, did you have a nice weekend?"

She gave him a look. "You know very well what my weekend was like, don't you?"

He couldn't resist smiling. "I did try to warn you," he reminded her a bit smugly.

She sighed. "Yeah, I know. And I should've listened. Satisfied?"

"I will be if you listen to me now."

"Of course," she said, sitting down at her desk. "Have a seat."

Instead of trying to squeeze himself into one of the third grader-sized desks, Simon hopped up and perched on the edge. In seeming defiance of gravity, the little desk didn't tip over under his weight.

"There are some things you should know," he began. He steepled his fingers and sat silently in thought for a moment. At last, he spoke. "Gabriel is a very damaged individual."

She snorted. "I could have guessed that on my own!"

"I'm sure you could have, but I'm not sure that you grasp the implications. Think, Katherine. Think what would happen if the Angel of Death were to have the equivalent of a nervous breakdown."

The color drained from her face, and she covered her mouth with one hand. "Dear God…" she whispered, her eyes huge. "You're not saying – "

"Gabriel has done many terrible things… I'm sure I don't have to tell you that." She shook her head, and he continued. "But he's repented and been forgiven. The problem is, he can't forgive himself."

"Guilt," she said, understanding. "I know it can eat humans alive, but angels…?"

Simon gave her a gentle smile. "We're not all that different, you know… humans and angels. We both have free will, and the ability to commit acts of great kindness… or of unspeakable horror."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She looked up at him. "So, what do you want me to do? Find a qualified shrink for Gabriel?"

He laughed. "I doubt one exists!"

She thought about it and laughed too. "Yeah, you're probably right. Seriously, though… what do you expect me to do with this information, Simon? Besides scaring the hell out of me, is there a reason for telling me that the Angel of Death is this close – " She held up her thumb and forefinger. " – to losing his marbles?"

"We're hoping that you can help him hold it together," he told her.

"Me?" she asked, incredulous. "Are you sure that Gabriel is the one who's losing his marbles here?"

"Katherine, you are one of the people he hurt. He needs your forgiveness."

"What about all the other people he hurt?" she asked bitterly.

"They're all dead," Simon said frankly. "Dead or insane."

She exhaled explosively and ran a hand through her hair. "And I'm supposed to deal with all this how, exactly?"

"Thomas Daggett believes in you," he told her. "He thinks you're the one for the job… for 'talking Gabriel down from the ledge,' as he put it."

"Thomas? But I thought he's – "

"Dead. Yes, he is." He waited a moment for his words to sink in.

"So… he's up there in Heaven… with you… and you talk to him…"

"Exactly."

She shook her head. "I really have to start going to church again." She thought for a minute. "Has he talked to Gabriel?"

"Gabriel won't talk to him… I think it's the guilt. He killed Thomas, you know."

Katherine's eyes widened. "No… he didn't tell me that. You know, Simon… I don't know if I can deal with all of this."

"But you must," he told her. "For whatever reason, Gabriel finds solace in your company."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because when he returns from being with you, he's in a much better way… even happy, almost."

"Wait a minute…" A new, horrifying thought suddenly occurred to her. "Are you trying to tell me that Gabriel's in love with me?"

Simon laughed. "No, Katherine – nothing like that."

"Oh, thank you God!" she exclaimed with feeling. "I really, really could not deal with that!"

"He doesn't know it, but he needs for you to be his friend, to help him pull himself together." Simon met her eye. "Can you do that, Katherine? Because if you can't…" He didn't need to complete the thought; she knew what the stakes were, and an insane Angel of Death didn't even bear thinking about.

She swallowed hard. "I'll do my best," she promised.

He smiled. "That's all we can ask of you… or of anyone." He jumped down from the desk. "Thank you, Katherine. I knew you wouldn't let us down."

He touched two fingers to his lips and blew her a kiss in blessing before walking out the door.

Katherine put her head down on her folded arms. "Why me?" she groaned. "Out of all the people in the Universe, why me?"

When Katherine got home, she put away the two boxes of Benadryl she had purchased on her way home. Then she went upstairs to look at her guest bedroom.

No one had ever actually slept in that room – she mostly used it for storage – and so she spent several hours getting it ready to be occupied. Once she had found alternate storage for the things she'd stowed in there, she stripped the bed and put on fresh sheets and a clean comforter.

She had just finished all of these tasks and sat down at her computer to check her e-mail when the phone rang. With a sigh, she rose to answer it.

"Hi, Katie-Kate," Greg said. "How was your day?"

"Greg… you really don't want to know!"

"What happened?" he asked, a frown of concern in his voice.

"Simon happened," she said wearily. "And I'm really stressed out."

"I can tell. Who's Simon?"

"It's a long story… a really long story."

"All right, you can tell me later."

Even though he couldn't see her, she smiled. "Thanks. Listen, Gabriel might be around a lot… is that OK?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… he's going through a bad time right now, and Simon said – "

"So this Simon's a mutual friend?"

"Actually, he's… um… he's Gabriel's brother. "

"Gabriel has a brother? Is he a weirdo too?"

"Yeah, they're all weirdoes. Now listen. He told me that Gabriel is – "

"Oh hey," he interrupted. "I have to go. I have a call on the other line I have to take."

She blinked. "Oh. All right."

"It's about the Altman case," he apologized.

"That's fine," she said. "I'm really too tired to talk right now anyway."

"I'll call you tomorrow," he promised. "Love you.

"Me too," she replied, but he had already hung up. She went back to the sofa and sat down with her computer. She went to and looked up books about coping with guilt, found two that looked promising, and placed an order.

A minute later, the doorbell rang. Now who could that be? She wondered. Could Gabriel have finally figured out what doorbells are for?

When she opened the door she saw that it was an angel, but it certainly wasn't the one she expected… nor was it one she had ever wanted to see again.

It was Lucifer, with his dark goatee and his slicked back dark blond hair and long flowing black coat.

There was a time when she would have been terrified to open her door and find him standing there on her porch. That time had long since passed, and she was slightly surprised to find that she was becoming inured to angels showing up in her life uninvited, even the Prince of Darkness himself.

"Oh for Heaven's sake, what do you want?" she asked, brushing her hair out of her face and glaring at him in a very unwelcoming way.

Lucifer's piercing blue eyes widened slightly in surprise, but he managed to recover himself.

"Katherine," he said in that sweetly sinister voice of his. He steepled his fingers in front of him. "It's so good to see you again!" She made a noncommittal sound. "May I come in?"

Wordlessly, she stood aside for him to enter.

"Thank you," he said as he passed her. "I couldn't have entered if you hadn't invited me."

"Great," she said sarcastically. "Thanks for telling me." She slammed the front door. "What do you want?" she repeated.

"Not much for small talk, are you?" He asked in that familiar mocking singsong. He followed her into the living room and sprawled down on the sofa. "Nice place," he observed, glancing around. "Cozy."

She stood over him, her arms folded across her chest. "Thanks," she gritted out. "Is there a reason you're here?"

"I was just in the neighborhood…" She gave him an exasperated look, and he laughed. "They're just using you, you know."

"Who?"

"Simon… God… all of them," he said, waving an arm expansively. "They didn't show up when you needed them back in Chimney Rock… no, it was me who hauled your bacon out of the fire that time, wasn't it?"

She glared at him, but didn't comment.

"They didn't care about you or your precious little Mary… but now that they need you, they expect you to rearrange your entire life for one psychotic archangel."

"Simon didn't say anything about you," she said before she could stop herself.

To her surprise, he smiled. "I'm not psychotic, my dear. I'm perfectly sane." His smile widened. "Terrifying, isn't it?"

"You've got me there," she agreed.

"Sit down, Katherine," he said in a gentle voice. "I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk."

"I don't trust you," she said, still standing. "Prince of Lies."

"My reputation precedes me," he said with a sigh, sounding pained.

She shrugged. "That's the problem with lying all the time. When you finally want to tell the truth, no one will believe you."

"Point." He leaned forward on the sofa, his elbows on his knees, chin in his hands. "You owe me one, Katherine," he said, watching her carefully. "You owe me for saving Mary's life."

"I don't owe you one damn thing," she spat. "You didn't help us because you cared about us or about Mary… you did it for your own selfish reasons. There was nothing at all altruistic about it!"

"Doesn't matter. The ends justify the means," he pointed out.

"Fine," she agreed, nodding once, sharply. "I owe you one."

He smiled happily. "I knew you'd see it my way, Katherine,"

"I'll make you a cup of coffee, and then we're even," she said, and walked out of the room.

Lucifer sat there for a moment, astounded. Finally, he stood. "Well… it's not quite what I had in mind, but it's a start," he murmured to himself, and followed her into the kitchen.

Lucifer sat at the table, adding sugar to his coffee. Katherine leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him warily.

"Why are you letting Simon and his God use you like this?" he asked.

Katherine folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. "Why shouldn't I help Gabriel?"

"Because he's not your problem, Katherine," the fallen angel pointed out reasonably. "And what kind of God would ask you to play nursemaid to someone who brought you nothing but pain and terror?" He leaned forward in his seat. "Think, Katherine!"

"If God has forgiven Gabriel, then that's good enough for me," she told him.

Lucifer frowned. "What kind of God – " he began.

"If God can forgive Gabriel for all of the terrible things he did, then He can certainly forgive my mundane little sins! And that gives me great comfort, believe me!"

Lucifer sighed. This obviously wasn't going to be easy. "Katherine – " His voice broke off, and he glanced around, sniffing the air.

There was a flash of blinding white light and a deafening noise like an eagle's cry. Katherine caught the briefest glimpse of enormous white wings, and then Gabriel was there, plummeting down from the ceiling, slamming into Lucifer and knocking him out of his seat and onto the floor.

The two archangels rolled around and around on the floor, and Katherine heard noises like bird cries and the low growl of a lion.

"Stop it!" she screamed.

They ignored her.

They rolled around on her kitchen floor, knocking over the chairs and the trash can. A kicking foot connected with the baker's rack in the corner, bringing the whole thing crashing down in a pile of pots and pans and various knickknacks. She suddenly saw the flash of a knife, but she couldn't see whose hand held it. Now she was worried; someone could really get hurt.

"Stop it!" she screamed again, to no avail.

She turned on the water in the sink, grabbed the sprayer, and pointed it at the battling archangels. "Stop it stop it stop it stop it!" she shrieked hysterically, pressing the trigger on the sprayer and discharging a spray of icy cold water that quickly drenched the two combatants.

The fight stopped; both angels lay on their backs, panting, staring up at her in disbelief. When she was certain that hostilities weren't going to resume, she returned the sprayer to the sink and turned off the water.

"I'll take that," Katherine said coldly, bending down to slide the knife with its long curvy blade out of Lucifer's unresisting grasp. "And that," she added, divesting Gabriel of a wicked-looking little dagger. "Now get up," she continued, placing the weapons on the counter. "And let me look at you."

Katherine's kitchen absolutely reeked of wet bird.

The two dripping archangels sat glaring at each other across the kitchen table; Lucifer held an ice pack against the side of his head, while Gabriel had one pressed against his right eye.

"What in the world am I going to do with you two?" Katherine asked rhetorically, shaking her head. She sighed. "Where's Simon when I need him?"

"Right here," a new voice said, and she turned to see Simon perched on the counter, right next to where she stood. Normally, this would have unnerved her, but under the circumstances –

"Look what they did to my kitchen, Simon," she said in a conversational tone. "Totally wrecked it."

"Imagine what they did to Upstairs," Simon said, matching her light, casual tone.

"I don't even want to think about it," she replied. She picked up Lucifer's knife and studied it as she spoke. "And these little toys of theirs…" She picked up Gabriel's dagger in her other hand. "Very dangerous. I'll be keeping them, of course," she continued, tucking them both in the belt on her jeans.

"Spoken like a third grade teacher," Simon observed mildly.

She grinned at him. "When I take things away from my kids at school, I tell them that they can have their stuff back if their parents come get it."

"That's a good policy," Simon said.

"I think so. And I don't see any reason to change that policy for a couple of seraphs who act like children."

Simon nodded. "Neither do I."

"Seraphim," Gabriel corrected. "The plural of 'seraph' is 'seraphim'… Teach."

"Why thank you, Gabriel," she said, beaming brightly at him. "I'll keep that in mind." She turned back to Simon. "Another thing… I think those two should clean up my kitchen. Look at the mess they made!"

"That sounds reasonable to me," Simon agreed, steepling his fingers in front of his lips as he spoke. "I'll see to it."

"I think I have a concussion!" Lucifer protested.

Katherine shrugged. "I'm sure you'll get over it," she told him without sympathy. She smiled sweetly at the two dripping archangels. "I'm going to bed. When I get up tomorrow morning, this kitchen had better be exactly the way it was before, and you – " she pointed at Lucifer " – had better be gone. And you – " she pointed at Gabriel "had better be either gone or in my spare room, not making one sound, because I won't be in the mood to deal with you just yet."

They both opened their mouths to protest.

"I'm an asset to Heaven," she told them. "Simon pointed that out to me earlier today. So I get to say how things get done around here. Understand?"

They stared at her, astounded.

"Good night, Gentlemen," she said, and walked out.

Gabriel and Lucifer began to speak simultaneously.

"Uh uh," the red-hair angel said, shaking a finger at them, silencing their protests. "You're going to clean this up." He grinned at them. "Simon says."