"Birds of Pray"

Chapter 5

"Lunch with Lucifer"

When Katherine came out of her bedroom the next morning, she smelled coffee… coffee and something burning.

"Now what?" she muttered under her breath as she walked down the steps. That had better not be brimstone I smell –

"Good morning, Katherine," Gabriel said when she walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning," she replied warily. She saw that both he and his clothing were now completely dry, and that he had a souvenir from the previous night: a blackened right eye that was already fading. "How's your eye this morning?"

"Better," he said with a short nod. "Thanks for asking."

She glanced around at her kitchen. "Well. You two did a great job. I can't even tell that you had a knock down, drag out fight with Lucifer in here." She rubbed her eyes. "And that's a sentence I never thought I'd hear myself say."

"I made coffee," he announced, holding out a saucepan filled with brown liquid. "And some eggs… but… they didn't turn out so good," he apologized, directing her attention to the stove.

There was a skillet there, its bottom crusted with some unidentifiable black charcoal substance that may or may not have once been eggs. She would just have to take his word for it.

"Thank you, Gabriel," she said, taking two coffee mugs down from the cupboard. "Don't worry about the eggs… it's the thought that counts."

She sat at the table and he poured out the coffee. She picked up a spoon and stirred it, frowning.

"I didn't think I had any instant coffee," she said. "Where did you find this?"

"Instant coffee?" he asked, puzzled. "What's that?"

She took a sip and got a mouthful of coffee grounds. The look on her face must have alerted him that something wasn't right.

"Aaaaah, I screwed up, didn't I?" he asked.

She forced herself to swallow. "It's OK… we can strain it." She stood and rummaged in a drawer for a tea strainer. "See? We'll just pour it through here and it'll be fine."

She was correct; after being poured through the strainer, the coffee was as good as if it had been brewed correctly.

They finished their coffee, and Katherine looked at her watch. "Oh gosh, I have to go." She glanced at the skillet on the stove. "Just leave that," she said, unable to imagine what kind of attempts Gabriel might make to clean it. "I'll take care of it later."

He followed her to the front door. As she was about to walk out, he put his hand on the back of her head, bent close and licked her cheek from jawbone to temple in one long wet slurp.

"Ewwww!" she protested, twisting away from his grasp. "What the hell did you do that for?" she demanded, wiping her face with her hand. "That's disgusting!"

"Hell is exactly why I did it," he told her gravely. "You're mine now. Lucifer won't touch you… can't touch you."

Her hand froze on her cheek. Suddenly, being licked by Gabriel didn't seem quite so bad – in fact, if it protected her from Lucifer, she was all for it. She let her hand drop to her side.

"OK," she agreed. "I'll be home this afternoon. Try not to burn the house down while I'm gone."

He looked wounded. "Of course not, Katherine."

As she drove away, she thought about what he'd said: You're mine now. She wasn't sure what that implied, but she figured if it kept Lucifer away, she couldn't complain.

A big surprise greeted Katherine when she arrived at school.

She dropped by the main office to check her mailbox and was stopped by Mrs. Higgins, the school secretary, who gave her a puzzled look. "I didn't expect to see you here today… you're supposed to be on paid sabbatical."

"Paid sabbatical?" she repeated, dumbfounded.

"Yes, it was just approved yesterday afternoon… oh, you didn't hear, did you?"

"But I didn't apply for – "

"Of course you didn't expect it," the secretary agreed. "It's very unusual for the school board to approve a year's paid sabbatical. You must have friends in high places!"

"You have no idea," Katherine agreed dryly; she was beginning to understand what was going on here.

"Rita Monroe has your class for the rest of the year – you remember her? She subbed for you when you had the flu last year."

Katherine nodded, numb. "I remember."

Mrs. Higgins grinned. "So what are you waiting for? Go home and go back to bed!"

"Yeah," Katherine said, picking up her straw tote bag. "OK. Thanks."

As she walked to her car, she looked up at the sky. "Simon…" She sighed, thinking about the project that Heaven had given her. "Thank you. Now I have one less thing to worry about!"

On her way home, Katherine stopped at the pet store. In the bird section, she paused to watch an enormous white cockatoo flutter its wings in its cage.

"Can I help you find something?" She turned to see a young man standing beside her, wearing the blue smock of an employee and a name badge identifying him as Stuart.

"Well, I'm not sure," she said, not certain how to begin. "My boyfriend's allergic to birds…"

"And you have a bird?"

"Well… sort of…"

"What kind of bird is it?"

"Uhhhh… well… he's… ah…he's big," she said, gesturing expansively, indicating something man-sized with giant wings. "Really, really big."

Stuart blinked. "That's big."

"Yeah," she agreed. "He's a big… um… a big bird."

"Well, that's bad news for your boyfriend. A big bird will produce lots of dander… and a lot of bird dust."

"Bird dust?"

"When new feathers grow in, they have a nice hard coating on the sheath. But as the feather ages, these little particles break off. That's bird dust. And the bigger the bird – "

"The more dust he produces," Katherine finished.

"Exactly. And any kind of activity spreads the dust around in the air. Preening and molting also add to the problem. And then there are the Powder Down Birds – birds that have special feathers that turn into a fine dust that helps the bird stay waterproof."

"Uh… I don't know if he's one of those."

"It's easy to tell. When you stroke his feathers – "

She held up her hands as if to push that thought away. "We don't really have that kind of relationship, you know?"

He was looking at her oddly. "OK."

"So, listen… what can I do about this bird dust stuff?"

"Well… there's this," he said, motioning for her to follow. He led her down an aisle, selected a bottle from the shelf and handed it to her.

"Allerpet/b," she read aloud. "Even though birds are caged – " She paused, fighting down giggles at the picture that had just formed in her mind. " – they do manage to scatter allergens that cause allergic reactions into the atmosphere when they flutter their wings and move about. Allerpet/b will help most persons who exhibit reactions to birds by reducing the major cause." She nodded at the helpful pet store employee. "This sounds promising."

"It's real easy to use, too," he pointed out, taking the bottle from her and reading from its label. "Apply a fine mist of Allerpet/b lightly onto the feathers, spraying away from the head and towards the tail." He stopped, stared at her. "What's so funny?" he asked, puzzled.

"Nothing," Katherine giggled, putting a hand over her mouth.

"You only have to use it once a week." He handed the bottle back to her. "I hear it works really well."

"Yeah… see… the thing is, I'm not sure he'll go for this," she said, trying to imagine how she would convince Gabriel to submit to being sprayed with this stuff every week.

"Is he a difficult bird to handle?"

She snorted. "You have no idea. Maybe I'd better forget this," she said regretfully, putting the bottle back on the shelf.

"You could try an air purifier," the young man suggested. "Get one with a HEPA filter… they screen out a lot of allergens. And you can also get a HEPA filter for your furnace… that'll purify the air in the entire house."

"Thanks… maybe I'll try that."

"Good luck."

She smiled at him. "Thanks, Stuart – I think I'm really going to need it!"

Katherine decided that the best place to look for an air purifier was Sears. After consulting with several sales associates, she had selected a filtration system and a special air filter for her furnace, both to be delivered and installed the next day.

In order to get back to her car, she had to walk through the mall food court. She passed close to a Subway, where she smelled the fresh bread baking. Her stomach growled.

Time for lunch, she decided, and went up to the counter. She ordered a six inch turkey sub with extra cheese, a small drink, and a bag of potato chips. As she was digging in her purse for her wallet, she heard a familiar voice right next to her.

"It's on me," Lucifer purred, handing the cashier a twenty-dollar bill. "And get me a foot long meatball sub." He held up a finger as if in warning. "And don't skimp on the sauce." He turned back to Katherine and smiled. "Don't you just hate it when they don't give you enough sauce?"

"Go away," she said in an unfriendly voice. She only just managed not to flinch away as he leaned close and sniffed her, inhaling deeply.

"Aaaah, that's lovely perfume you're wearing, Katherine. What's it called – Eau de Gabriel?"

"That's right," she agreed. "It's my new favorite. Now beat it."

"Here's your sub, sir," the cashier said, handing a wrapped sandwich to Lucifer. "Your total is – "

"Hang on, I'm paying," Katherine said, resuming her search for her wallet.

"But I told you, Katherine – lunch is on me."

"I don't want anything from you!" she said furiously. She found her wallet, extracted her own twenty and thrust it at the cashier. He looked from Katherine to Lucifer and back again, not sure what to do.

Lucifer shrugged. "The lady insists," he said in an ironic tone, reclaiming his money and stuffing it in the pocket of his long black coat. Katherine took her change, picked up her empty cup and went over to the soda fountain to fill it.

"That looks like a good table over there," Lucifer remarked, taking her chips and their sandwiches and walking off into the food court.

"Hey!" she protested, hurrying after him. "That's mine!"

"We'll sit here," Lucifer decided, ignoring her outburst. He put the sandwiches on the table. "We can sit and watch the people go by. Won't that be fun, Katherine?"

She stood over him, glaring. "I am not having lunch with Satan."

"Satan's here?" Lucifer glanced around, genuinely perplexed. "Where?"

"Cute. Now give me my sandwich."

"Ohhh," Lucifer said, comprehension dawning. "You think I'm Satan."

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but – "

"I'm not Satan. I'm Lucifer."

"And Who's on first," she said scathingly.

"What?" he asked, puzzled.

"No, What's on second!"

"I really don't know what you're talking about. But as I told you, I'm not Satan. I'm Lucifer."

"Same thing!"

"No… actually it's not." He began to unwrap his sandwich. "Other angels besides me have Fallen, Katherine." He took the top off of his sub and inspected its contents carefully. "I was merely the first." Seeming satisfied, he put the top back on and took a bite.

"So who's the Devil?" she asked, watching him warily.

He appeared to consider the question carefully. "Well… since I'm the one in charge down in the basement, I suppose that would have to be me." He slid her sandwich and chips across the table at her. "Please, Katherine. Sit. I'm hardly going to attack you and rip out your soul in the middle of a crowded shopping mall."

"You can't touch me," she told him. "Gabriel said so."

"That's right, I can't. So sit." He shrugged elaborately. "Unless you don't believe he can protect you, that Heaven can protect you... or would protect you." He smiled. "You're such a tender little morsel, and it would please me a great deal to see you lose your faith."

Scowling, she sat and reached for her food.

"Good little monkey," he crooned mockingly.

"Drop dead," she told him venomously.

"Not me," he said happily, leaning back in his seat to study her as she unwrapped her sandwich. "Why do you hate me so much, Katherine?"

"Because you're the Devil," she replied in a tone that suggested that the answer was obvious.

"All right," he agreed. "But have I ever harmed you? Have I ever harmed or even threatened anyone you care for?"

"No," she admitted. "But you'd like nothing better than to destroy my soul… everyone's souls. So I think I'm entitled to at least dislike you." She took a bite of her sandwich and opened her chips.

"God would say that you should love everyone," Lucifer pointed out, taking a bite of his own sub.

"I doubt that applies to you," she said. "How's your sandwich? Did they give you enough sauce?"

"Why yes they did! Thank you for asking, Katherine. And," he grinned knowingly. "Nice attempt at changing the subject."

"Well, we really don't have a lot to say to each other, Lucifer. I might sit here and have lunch with you, but I'm not going to go home with you no matter what. End of discussion. So you can stop wasting your time. Go try to corrupt someone else."

"I'm not here to corrupt you, or to trick you. I just want what's best for you."

She snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Gabriel… well – as you monkeys might put it – he's never been wrapped too tight, even from the very beginning."

She nodded, understanding. "OK, so he's always been a little nutty. Your point?"

Lucifer took another bite of his sub, chewed, and swallowed. "Way back when I was still the most exalted among angels, I told God that He had to do something about Gabriel, because he was going to snap and it wasn't going to be pretty. And do you know what He told me?"

"No." She leaned forward in her chair, fascinated despite herself. "What did He tell you?"

Lucifer also leaned forward, glancing around and lowering his voice as though afraid he might be overheard. "He told me to mind my own business."

Katherine was shocked. "No!"

"Yes!"

"I don't believe you!"

"Nevertheless, it's true." He leaned back again, watching her. "Now why do you suppose He did that? Why didn't He do something about Gabriel before it was too late?"

"I don't know," she said heavily. "I don't know why He does most of the things He does. But it's not for me to know or understand, Lucifer." She sighed. "Maybe it's not for anyone – human or angel."

"Have you forgiven him, Katherine?"

"Who?" she asked puzzled. "God? For what?"

"Not God. Gabriel."

"Oh." She thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I have. I don't understand him any better, but I do forgive him. I think he's doing the best he can with what God gave him."

"Ahhh," Lucifer breathed, looking very pleased. "And why did God create Gabriel like that in the first place? Why didn't He make Gabriel perfect? He certainly could have, you know."

"No one's perfect," Katherine replied automatically. "Only God."

"God is threatened by perfection in anyone else but Himself, you know. Look what happened to me."

"Nothing happened to you," she said harshly. "You brought it on yourself. You rebelled against Him. And besides, you weren't perfect."

"I was close, Katherine. So close." Lucifer sighed sadly. "If I hadn't existed, He would have had to invent me… for without Darkness, there can be no perfect Light."

"Wait a minute, are you saying – "

"That He created me so that I could Fall. Yes."

"He would never do that!"

"Wouldn't he? Think about it, Katherine," he finished off his sub and stood. "Think about it," he said, and walked away.

She watched him until the crowd swallowed him up, and then she put her head in her hands.

"I hope You know what You're doing," she whispered, realizing as she spoke that it was a strange prayer to make, but at the moment it was all she had to offer.

Katherine unlocked her front door and stepped inside.

"Gabriel?" she called, really hoping he was there. "Hey, are you here?" There was no reply. Well, I'm sure he has stuff to do, she mused. What with being the Left Hand of God and all…

She went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee and saw that he had put the dirty skillet in the sink… and that there was a can of Pledge furniture polish sitting on the counter near it. I told him not to try to clean it, she sighed. She squirted dish soap into the burnt egg-crusted skillet with its new lemony fresh scent and then filled it water.

When she finally sat down with her cup of coffee, she decided to call Greg and fill him in on recent events… aside from her lunch with the Devil. She wasn't sure quite how she would explain that to him without sounding like a lunatic.

"That's terrific!" he said when told about her paid sabbatical. "When the Altman case is over, maybe we'll go away together… just the two of us."

"I'd love that," she agreed.

"Maybe go to a resort… or on a cruise. You decide."

"Decisions, decisions," she said with a laugh. "And God knows I could use a vacation!" Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something fluttering on the floor near the air conditioning vent. "What's that?" she asked without thinking.

"What's what?" Greg asked, a smile in his voice. "I can't see whatever it is from here, Katie-Kate!"

"I know," she replied absently as she went over to inspect it. "Of all the…" It was an enormous white feather. "Gabriel," she murmured as she picked it up.

Greg must have overheard. "Oh, is he still there?"

"Not right now," she said, sitting back down and placing the feather on the table next to her coffee cup. "But he'll be back."

"If I didn't know better, I'd be jealous!" he teased.

Katherine laughed. "Let me tell you something, Greg. If Gabriel and I were the last two people left on Earth, the human race would die out." Which is literally true, she reflected, recalling what Gabriel had told her about nephiilim. As Greg laughed along with her, she glanced at the feather and remembered something. "Oh, hey… I bought an air purifier today… and a HEPA filter for the furnace and air conditioner."

"Why'd you do that?"

"For your allergies," she said, and smiled. "Because I love you so much."

"Awwww… that's so sweet! But I told you… I'm only allergic to birds."

"Yeah, I know," she said, picking up the feather and studying it carefully. "I just think it's better to have it. Healthier, probably."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Well, listen – I have to go. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes, and then a lunch with the senior partners."

"Good luck," she told him.

"Thanks, Katie-Kate."

"Bye… love you."

"Me too."

She hung up the phone and continued to study the feather. It was huge – a good foot long – and obviously not from any ordinary bird. She brushed it against her cheek; it was so soft…

Suddenly she remembered Gabriel rolling around on the floor with Lucifer and realized that it might not be Gabriel's feather after all.

With a shudder, she put it down on the table, picked up her coffee cup and headed to the living room to check her e-mail.

TO BE CONTINUED…

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I got my information about feathers, bird dust, and Powder Down Birds from the Winged Wisdom e-zine. That website has been enormously helpful to me, as it has all kinds of information about birds and avian behavior that I'm sure I'll be putting to good use in subsequent chapters!

Allerpet/b is a real product and belongs to Allerpet, Inc. I've never used it, but I have used Allerpet/c (for cat dander) and found it most effective – I wouldn't hesitate to recommend that product to anyone who suffers from cat allergies and still wants to have a cat or spend time with one. They also make a product called Allerpet/d for dog allergies.

And the "Who's On First?" sketch that Katherine quoted to Lucifer belongs to the late Abbott and Costello.