Chapter 3: Jealous
Peggy and Bill were sitting on the couch in Bill's living room. Peggy really started to like Bill, although she couldn't help feeling sorry for Hank. "You know, Bill, I wonder how Hank is handling this?" she wondered.
"Oh, he's probably jealous that I am sexier than he is," Bill chuckled.
"I think he's probably mad at me for dumping him. I'd better go back before he does something stupid to get vengeance," Peggy said.
"Oh, that's nonsense," Bill said. "You just stay here, and we can keep each other company forever and ever." He gazed deeply into Peggy's eyes. Peggy was hypnotized and began to stare into Bill's eyes as well.
Meanwhile, Dale and Boomhauer were in the bug-a-bago. They were preparing to rescue Peggy from Bill. They were now going over the checklist.
"Rope," said Dale.
Boomhauer held up the rope. "Dang ol' check, man," he said.
"Key to Bill's closet," said Dale.
"Dang ol' check," Boomhauer said.
"Alamo beer?"
"Dang ol' check," Boomhauer said, holding out the beer.
"Good," Dale said. "Now we've just got to wait for Bill and Peggy to leave for work. Then, we sneak inside Bill's house and hide. When Bill comes back, BAM! We tie him up and lock him in the closet and tell Peggy that Bill was kidnapped by the government for an autopsy," Dale said.
Boomhauer stared at Dale in disbelief. "Dale-man, talkin' bout never knew you-be weird, man," he said. "Dang ol' do it yourself, man." Boomhauer left the bug-a-bago.
"Wait! Boomhauer, come back! Please!" yelled Dale. But Boomhauer paid no attention to Dale. He headed back to his house. "Aw dang it. Guess I'll have to do this dirty job myself," Dale said, getting in the front seat of the bug-a-bago. He then watched as Bill and Peggy left the house and got in the car and drove off. "Excellent timing," Dale said. "Now I must sneak over unnoticed." Dale then put a fake bush over his body and slowly walked across the street to Bill's house. When nobody was looking, he tossed off the disguise and opened the door to Bill's house with the key. Dale sneaked inside and went off to hide and wait for Bill and Peggy to return…
Meanwhile, Hank was at work. He could not concentrate on his job, though, because he did not know how he could get Peggy back. He thought and thought. "Gah, there's got to be somebody I can pretend to date," he said to himself. "Let's see… what are the possibilities? Mihn? No, she'd never go along with it, and Kahn would never let me hear the end of it. Lenore? Nope, Bill would get mad at me. Wait a sec… that's just what I want! Not only would Peggy get jealous, but Bill would get mad at me! It's perfect revenge! Now if I could just get Lenore to go along with it," Hank said.
Later that day, Hank got home from work. He went to the kitchen and dialed Lenore's number. "Hello?" Lenore said on the other line.
"Uh… hello, Lenore. This is Hank Hill. Remember me? Bill's friend," he said.
"Oh yes, I think I remember you," Lenore said. "What do you want?"
Hank began sweating. "Uh… sure is lovely weather we're having lately," he said, desperately trying to change the subject.
"What is it that you really want? I know you're hiding something," Lenore snorted.
"Well… here goes," Hank said. "You see, Peggy dumped me for Bill, and I was wondering, just to get back at both Peggy and Bill, if you'd… I dunno… pretend to be my… date," said Hank. "There I said it," sighed Hank.
There was no response on the other line for a few seconds. Then Lenore said, "This is just a fake, right?"
"Oh, yes, yes!" Hank said. "Just want to get back at Peggy and Bill."
"Well… all right. I'll see you tomorrow," Lenore said. "We hug and make out in front of Bill and Peggy like we really mean it. See you tomorrow," Lenore said in a tempting voice.
"Bye," Hank said, hanging up the phone. "SCORE!" he yelled.
"What happened, Dad?" Bobby asked. He came into the kitchen from his bedroom. "Did the Cowboys make a touchdown?"
"Bobby, the football season doesn't start for another 2 months yet," Hank said. "I just yelled score cause uh… I sold a bunch of propane," he lied.
"Right on, Dad. Keep it up," Bobby said, doing a strange little dance. He shook his butt in the air and waved his fingers around his head. He stuck his tongue out and made strange noises.
"Okay, Bobby, that's enough. No offense, but you look like an idiot," Hank said. Bobby quit and went back to his room. Hank went to the living room to watch TV.