Disclaimer: Not mine. You REALLY think I'd be here if they were? No, I'd be off killing little kids! BWAHAHA…

Summary: Hermione and Severus have been set up one too many times. So, they plan on getting their revenge on the Hogwarts staff, but is that how fate will see it?

Warnings: Rated for a reason people! If you shouldn't, or don't want to be reading this, press the back button. Right. NOW.

Authors note: Hello my pretties! How are we all? All good I hope. Now, I like totally stole this idea from another fanfic, 'A Snape is for life, not just christmas' by Shiv (curse her and her brilliant plot bunnies! All mine does is hump my leg!) but I changed the story line, so don't YELL at me. Okay, you can yell at me, but not too loud, I'm meant to be something called 'studying'. Peh. Studying. (full details can be found on the authors note after chapter 10. Please read it).

Hermione, Severus and most other characters are very OOC. Don't blame me, they fit better that way.

So sit back and read the totally-not-mine-but-kinda-is-don't-yell-at-me-story. Hope you like.

(Now can someone PLEASE help me get this plot bunny off my leg!)

Chapter 15

COMPREHENSION: (noun) An ability to understand the meaning or importance of something.

After only a few hours, the school was raging with the news of Snape's and Granger's pregnancy. It was the hottest gossip the school had had in years, bigger than anything Rita Skeeter had ever written.

Everywhere you went, everyone, students and professors alike, were talking about it.

'You mean, they have been- EW! That's so gross, do you realise that for them to be having a baby, they had to- y'know...!' whispered a second year Hufflepuff girl to her friends.

A simular conversation was going on between several seventh year Gryffindors.

'That's disgusting, that is!' a black haired boy said.

'He's like, double her age!' said his friend.

'Oh, come on. She's twenty two, and he doesn't look older then forty. Plus, he is kinda good looking once you get past the meanness.' A girl said, and she and her girl friends giggled.

'Yeah, Ms Granger's pretty hot as well!' laughed another boy.

And the professors were even worse.

'Oh, Minerva, just the woman I was hoping to see!' squeaked Flitwick. 'Have you heard about Severus and Hermione?'

Meanwhile, Hermione was getting some rather interesting questions in her class, many of them having nothing to do with the subject they were supposed to be discussing.

'Miss Granger?' asked Susan Brown, a sixth year Ravenclaw.

'Yes, Susan?' answered Hermione.

'Have you come up with a name yet?' she asked, giggling, but still looking interested.

'Pardon?' asked Hermione, a bit stunned.

'For your baby. Or, should I say, yours and Professor Snape's baby!' another girl asked excitedly.

'We- uh, no. We haven't. But that's really-' she was interrupted by another girl.

'Is it a girl or a boy?'

And another: 'When's it due?'

And another: 'Will you be taking time off work?'

'Look! There have been no decisions made. Now, anymore questions?' she asked. Everyone put his or her hand up, so she added. 'To do with defence against the dark arts?'

All hands went down.

Snape probably would have had the same treatment, had the entire student body not feared him. So, he had to suffer through giggles and whispers during his classes, but was able to deduct a satisfyingly large amount of house points.

'Severus?' asked Hermione tentatively, opening the door to his office. Lately Severus had been just a tad stressed (okay, understatement of the year) and was likely to snap at any moment.

'Mm?' he answered, not looking up from the book he was reading by the fire.

'Severus, I… I went to the doctors again today.' She said, walking over to sit with him.

'And?' he asked sharply, looking up from his book.

'Well, I asked if he knew how long it would be until the baby's born, and he said it would probably be a September birth. He also asked whether I wanted to know whether it was a girl or a boy…' she spoke carefully and slowly. 'But I thought I'd leave that choice to you.'

'Me? Why me?' he asked, sitting up and pulling her onto his lap.

'Why?' she laughed. 'Severus, you're the father. You have as much right to be a part of this as me!'

'Please don't.' he said suddenly.

'Don't what?' she asked.

'Call me the father.' He replied.

'But you are.' She said, looking at him. 'Are you… are you having second thoughts?'

'I just don't know whether I'm ready to have a child yet.' He said, sighing.

'Oh, I see. But what confuses me is that a seventeen year old who is still at school manages to take care of a baby on his own, while you, a forty year old man can't STAND to have a child when you still have your partner with you!' she started to yell, getting off his lap.

'Okay, take sides with Parish against me! Is that how you felt when he kissed you?' he hollered.

'How DARE you! You know that was a mistake, a childish, stupid mistake!' she shouted.

'Well, if I'm not ready and you're still making 'stupid childish' mistakes, then maybe we shouldn't be parents at all!' he almost whispered, but it's venom hit Hermione like an arrow.

She was stunned for a moment before she said simply: 'Well, if that's how you feel.' and walked out.

The next day, the 19th, was freezing cold, so cold that the herbology class had been cancelled and some students had free periods.

Hermione sat quietly in her classroom, her students studying for an up-coming test. Suddenly, she felt the urge to throw up and ran out the door, one of her students going after her.

She pelted down the hall to the toilet, which was luckily only a few rooms away. She launched herself into a stall and emptied her stomach of what little breakfast she had eaten.

'Miss Granger? Are you okay?' came Sarah Partry's voice, the student that had followed her.

'…Fine.' said Hermione, wiping her mouth on a piece of toilet paper and flushing it. She walked outside it and smiled at Sarah, who was looking very disconcerted at seeing her teacher in this state. She washed her hands and splashed water on her face before drying off and tidying her hair up.

She walked out the door with Sarah and soon they were back at the classroom, the rest of the lesson carrying on normally.

As they got up to leave, Hermione thanked Sarah for seeing she was okay.

Hermione had the next period free.

So does Severus… hinted a voice in her head.

No. I won't go to him again, like a little puppy dog. If he doesn't want this child, I'll bring it up on it's own.

And she kept telling herself that.

Severus spent his free period writing a letter to Hermione. It wasn't a 'we're over' letter, or an 'I'm sorry' one. It was regarding their song for the contest, which was in a week.

Hermione,

Regarding our involvement in the 'talent contest' next Monday night. I assume we are performing the same song we did for the audition, and that being the case, don't think it necessary to rehearse any further, as we know it well.

Please reply ASAP,

Severus.

Hermione was interrupted by an owl flying through the window onto her desk, dropping a letter on her lap.

She picked it up and read it, sighing.

She grabbed a quill and scribbled out a reply.

Severus,

I agree. Should any other problems occur, please owl me.

Hermione.

She sealed it up and let the owl return it to Severus.

Feeling like she had just signed away the last hope of their relationship, tears flowed down her face.

Sob. So sad.

Review, but I'm getting a bit tired of flamers repeating what has been stated over and over (and over and over and over) again, so unless it's constructive, and not regarding a point that has already been covered, don't bother.

Toodles peoples.