Disclaimer: Not mine. You REALLY think I'd be here if they were? No, I'd be off killing little kids! BWAHAHA…

Summary: Hermione and Severus have been set up one too many times. So, they plan on getting their revenge on the Hogwarts staff, but is that how fate will see it?

Warnings: Rated for a reason people! If you shouldn't, or don't want to be reading this, press the back button. Right. NOW.

Authors note: Hello my pretties! How are we all? All good I hope. Now, I like totally stole this idea from another fanfic, 'A Snape is for life, not just christmas' by Shiv (curse her and her brilliant plot bunnies! All mine does is hump my leg!) but I changed the story line, so don't YELL at me. Okay, you can yell at me, but not too loud, I'm meant to be something called 'studying'. Peh. Studying. (full details can be found on the authors note after chapter 10. Please read it).

Hermione, Severus and most other characters are very OOC. Don't blame me, they fit better that way.

So sit back and read the totally-not-mine-but-kinda-is-don't-yell-at-me-story. Hope you like.

(Now can someone PLEASE help me get this plot bunny off my leg!)

Chapter 16

HURT: (noun) Any physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture etc. Psychological suffering.

Hermione wrote another letter to Severus.

Severus,

As I have a free period, and no further work to do, I was wondering whether you would like to join for a drink atb The Three Broomsticks today at 2:30. Please reply quickly.

Hermione.

Severus walked into the bar to find Hermione sitting at a table towards the back.

He walked over to her, regarding her with a nod as she caught his eye.

'Hello.' She said. 'Glad you could come.' She hated all this formality.

'Well, it's my free period, with no work to do.' He said simply, not letting any emotion into his voice.

Hermione was a bit taken aback at his coldness, but recovered.

'Drink?' she asked, getting up from her chair.

'Firewhisky would be great.' He said, and she nodded and headed to the bar.

She ordered the drinks and waited by the bar. She grabbed the tray with the drinks and turned around, promptly spilling them on herself as she walked into Severus.

She cursed herself for wearing white that day and used the tray to cover her top.

'Severus, can I borrow your jacket?' she asked, once they had gotten back to the table, her arms were crossed firmly across her chest.

'Why?' he asked, not noticing her current state.

She uncrossed her arms, showing him her now see through top.

He stared for a minute, then realised what he was doing and pulled off his jacket, handing it to her.

'Thanks.' She said, pulling on the oversized piece of clothing, covering her chest.

They finished their drinks in silence, before Hermione decided she had to say something.

'So, are you performing the same song for the contest as you did in the audition?' she asked him.

'No, I have changed my song.' He answered. They had warmed considerably since before, but still weren't acting as they had before the last week or so.

'You?' he asked.

'Changed. But it's a surprise.' She smirked.

'Oh really?' he asked.

'Really.' She confirmed.

'What can I do to make you tell me?' he asked.

She groaned in pain, rolling into a ball. 'Argh!' she howled.

'Hermione?' he asked, worried.

She groaned, but sat up again, face contorted in pain. 'I'm fine.' She managed.

'No, your not. Look, I'm going to apparate us back to my rooms, okay?' he said, before wrapping his arms tight around her and focusing hard.

They landed on his couch, Severus still holding her as she moaned.

He went into the kitchen and got her a glass of water before returning. By now she was sitting up, rubbing her back.

She gratefully accepted the drink, gulping it down.

'What was wrong?' he asked.

'Oh, just pains. Normal stuff. Cramps, headaches, morning sickness. But the worst is the back pain.' She said, rubbing her lower back painfully.

'Here.' He said, before turning her around so that her back was to him and lowering her so that she was lying on the couch.

He started to massage her back, rubbing the muscles that were sore. Hermione moaned, but Severus stopped after a minute or two.

'Why are you stopping?' she asked, rolling onto her back.

'I can't do anything with that jacket on.' He replied.

'Okay.' She said simply, taking it off. She also removed her t-shirt, so she was down to her bra.

She turned back onto her stomach and ordered: 'Rub.'

Severus raised his eyebrows but continued his massage without objection.

He rubbed his hands up to her neck, where he massaged gently.

She moaned and Severus felt something stir in him that hadn't since the last time they had been together.

He did something out of impulse, something he never expected himself to do; He kissed her. He placed feather light kisses on her upper back, trailing them downwards.

She arched into his touch, and he continued. He gently flipped her around and kissed her on the lips. She pulled him closer, looping her arms around his neck, one hand pulling gently at his hair.

His hands travelled southward and she moaned. Severus stopped himself before things got out of hand.

'Hermione,' he said, pulling away from her. She sighed, but let him talk. 'I need to apologise.'

'Apologise later!' she said, pulling him closer to her, capturing his lips with hers.

'Hermione, that's the hormones speaking.' He gasped, pulling away.

'NO! I need you. Kiss me!' she ordered, once again grabbing him.

It took every ounce of his self control, but he managed to stop himself.

'That's DEFINITELY the hormones talking.' He said, sitting up.

'Hermione, I need to apologise for before. I didn't mean what I said.' He explained.

'The bit about me kissing Parish, the bit about us being unsuitable parents, or the bit about you not being ready to become a father?' she asked, sitting up, not bothering to hide her state of undress.

'All of it…' he said softly, stroking her hair. She brushed his arm away, and said: 'Okay, so you admit I don't like Parish. But what does the rest mean?'

'I don't know!' he replied, getting frustrated. With himself, not Hermione.

'Oh, okay, I'll just put my life on hold, shall I, while you make up your mind? Well, I'm sorry, Severus, but the baby won't wait.' She got up to the door and opened it. 'And neither will I.' She left the room.

Severus sighed, grabbed her shirt and jacket and stood by the door.

'Three… Two… One…' on cue, Hermione opened the door and grabbed the items before slamming it in his face again.

'Yep, DEFINITELY the hormones…' he sighed, as he walked into his room.

Man, sevvy is so screwed. Sorry for the short chapter, but I want to get his done before I go back to school. Sob, ANYTHING but school!

Okay, remember to review my happy folk!