Disclaimer: Ok - you know the drill Drill SFX I don't own Red Dwarf, and YOU don't own Red Dwarf... Unless your name happens to be Rob Grant or Doug Naylor, in which case I advise you to run far far away before you discover how much I've mangled your masterpiece

Well here's the next chapter - Enjoy!

Bright Idea

"Oh sirs and ma'am!" Kryten moaned as the credits ended. "That's against every mechanoid's coding – They would never do to silicon heaven!"

"Kryten they were controlled by PEOPLE!" Lister hollered for at least the 100th time.

"As much as I enjoy seeing geeks destroy years of hard work, there's much better things for us to do in our spare time." Rimmer stated righteously.

"What? Helping you catalogue your 20th century telegraph pole collection to the sounds of Hammond organ music?" Lister scoffed though the sarcasm of the statement seemed temporarily lost on Rimmer.

"That's a possibility…"

"NO WAY Rimmer! What about us listening to you learn Esperanto instead?"

"You may mock my linguistic talents but… but… goit."

"Why don't we make up a new game or something?" Kira asked, yawning as she used Lister's ample frame as a table for her legs.

"Oi! You mind?" Lister protested.

"You gonna get off the bed?"

"Too difficult – Ask me in an hour."

"Then don't complain."

"What about we do the robot killing stuff?" Cat asked as Dani began to purr in his arms – A quality so sweet that everyone paused to go awww for a moment.

"Sir, did I hear you correctly? Kryten asked as the "awww" moment ended, mech ear cleaner on standby.

"Nah, he's got something here – We can build our own robots and have a fight to the death down in the cargo bay." Lister said, he made to stand up but his laziness and Kira's legs got the better of him.

"You want us to spend the next 6 months of our life – And death, building robots – just to smash them to bits?" Rimmer clarified.

"Well yeah."

"Well done Lister and here's me thinking you have no plans or ambitions for the future."

"Hey I have ambitions."

"What? Getting out of bed to go see if there's any bread or sugar puffs left?"

"Are we going to do this or what? My brains turning to mush here!" Cat moaned as he pulled himself off the bed and placed Dani in an old basket.

"No change there then." Rimmer muttered under his breath.

"Getting any scent of danger hun?" Kira asked yawning with boredom.

"Nope! I'd say we've got at least 48 hours left to live!"

"Oh yay, nothings trying to kill us for once, how about we crack out the urine Recyc to celebrate?" Rimmer scoffed sarcastically.

"Oh shut up Rimmer – We can have a comp here, 2 teams, and we each try and build a robot in 24 hours or so!"

"Yeah, ok." Cat and Kira echoed, grinning.

"Rimmer man, you in?"

"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer some Morris dancing?"

"Come on." Lister sighed as he pushed Kira off him, dragged himself to his feet and staggered stiffly towards the door.

"Sir! On a point of principle I must object to taking any part in this monstrous act!" Kryten insisted.

"Well who's gonna be the ref? Dani?" Lister added smiling.

"Sir, only someone truly mad should be given the task, and as Miss Dani is neither mad nor as yet grasped the human language, I suggest Talkie Toaster."

"What? Where?" Lister cried spinning round in horror.

"Sir – I must say this fear and anger towards the toaster is insane." Kryten protested.

"The only thing that's insane is HIM! He wants us to eat it like all the time – And if we don't want toast like 24/7 he throws a major wobbly... Déjà vu – Weird!"

"I second that sir."

"Hang on, didn't Lister leave him scattered about the cargo bays back on Red Dwarf?" Rimmer questioned in his thinking pose.

"2000 pieces sir, I got the Scutters to collect him together and I was repairing him when we lost Red Dwarf. Due to recent events –"

"Multiple bear death experiences." Cat whispered knowingly to Kira.

"I never finished the project. Bread toasting appliances were never installed with a sense and morality chip so he should be un-objective of your little… game." Kryten finished the sentence with as much scorn a mechanoid with corrupted files could muster.

"Kryten you're a total gooseberry – You've completely wreaked my day now… And its Thursday and all!" Lister moaned.

"What's so wrong with Thursdays?" Kira asked, confused.

"The Lisa Yates thing – Thursday. Polymorph and the Curry Beast – both Thursdays. Kryten's Replacement –"

"- I get the point Dave!" Kira screamed in exasperation. "I'd always liked Thursdays too." She added more calmly.

"You won't be saying that after hanging with us for a while." Lister replied grumpily.

"So we in or out? Because if we in, I've got team shirts to make!" Cat announced. On receiving nods from Lister and Kira he grabbed some duvet covers from the beds, he then lifted Dani from the basket with one arm and put the duvet covers in her place. He then replaced his daughter and walked out carrying the basket with Kira following.

Kryten wandered out of the room after Kira, muttering in binary code.

"I'm going part scavenging – You coming?" Lister asked Rimmer hesitantly.

"You really gonna put together a robot with me?" Rimmer clarified uncertainly.

"Well yeah."

"The soup Nozzle Unclogger & The Curry Kid?"

"Quit stalling and come on."