Disclaimer: You know what's coming: I do not own Red Dwarf!... Told Ya!

Right, well it's now 3:53am and I did attempt sleep I even turned off the PC! but it didn't go very well so here's the final chapter, hope it's not too crap and good night!...good morning... Whatever... Anyway added the theme tune at the end - As ya do, To waste time, It worked, like this is a bit, now I've gotta to find something else to do as sleep doesn't seem very imminent... Hmmm I'll start the next chapter of Vita... (Enjoy this storie's finale - At least try to anyway)

Annihilated

"…What if one of us try and deactivate it while the others jump around a lot?" Kira suggested uncertainly.

"Do we look suicidal?"

"Was that a rhetorical question or can anyone answer?" Talkie asked in his toastal retentive voice.

"No we aren't but you obviously are as you won't stop making these bloody comments!" Lister hissed, wishing he was able to go and smash the toaster to bits – AGAIN!

"How about muffins? They'll cheer anyone up who's on a downer!"

"Arnold." Kira said butting in between the Lister versus Electrical Appliance argument. "You'll be ok, there should be some kind of switch near one of wheels." She explained but before he could respond to be cowardly or otherwise, Lister caught their attention.

"Ah."

"What do you mean 'Ah'?" Kira asked threw gritted teeth.

"Well, I kind of took it out…"

"You kind of took it out?" Kira mimicked, her teeth grinding ever so slightly in annoyance.

"I thought it was the manual breaks!" He defended.

"Fan-Smegging-Tastic bud! – These t-shirts don't go well will explosions and neither do the people wearing them." Cat warned as Dani's cries grew louder.

"Kryten move her and I'll kill you myself – Just thought I'd mention that. Clear?" Kira asked in a fake sing song voice.

"Perfectly ma'am." Kryten responded despondently.

"The axe!" Cat yelled as a small light bulb flickered on in his head.

"But it got blown up!" Rimmer objected.

"No – That one on the wall!" Cat pointed with his eyes, Kira following his gaze.

"Cat! If I wouldn't get blasted to smithereens I'd kiss you!" Kira shrieked excitedly.

"Arn – Get the axe!"

"Excuse me-" Rimmer began – Obviously to object, but was cut off by Lister.

"You can't ask him Kira – You need someone with a spine!" Lister laughed despite the sad truth. The laugh turned to a gasp of fright as bazookoid fire flew past his ear.

"And what do you know Frankenstein?... Oh my gawd! I stood up for Alphabet head – Let skuttsy kill me now!" Cat moaned sadly.

"On the plus side sir you finally worked out the difference between the creator and the monster." Kryten yelled though the intended complement had little affect.

"But with him is there really a difference? Come on – The man is a maniac - He hates toast!" Talkie protested, his speakers on extra loud to be heard above Dani's cries.

"Arnold?" Kira asked at the top of her lungs. Rimmer closed his eyes and mind allowing the sounds of "Sir Smegalot" and Dani to fill the air. He took a deep breath, his mind clouding with confusing thoughts of all the put downs and insults he had been dealt over his life and death. He bit his lip, flew his eyes open and ran to the wall in what could only be described as a comedy run, diving to the floor at the last moment to dodge several rounds of bazookoid fire.

"Well would you look at him go! Be better if he was fuelled on toast!" Talkie commented.

"For the last time would you shut the… RIMMER!" Lister hollered as Talkie's words and Rimmer's sudden absence from his side clicked in his mind.

Rimmer groaned in response and rolled over, catching a hit on his shoulder. He groaned again and stood up, blinking in pain as another shot penetrated his back. He stood perfectly still for a moment then dived at the axe, grabbing it and waiting for the next shots to hit him… But they didn't, though he could still here them. He took a moment to steady himself and turned to see Cat and Lister running round and dodging the fire.

"Hey I like this sport! You might die!" Talkie cried happily in the background.

"Hurry up man – We can't keep this up forever!" Lister panted as he tripped, catching a shot to his arm. Despite the pain he stood as still as possible as Cat jumped up and down at the other end of the arena.

"Dave you ok?" Kira asked, her voice shaking with fear.

"Yeah, I'm just dandy!" Lister scoffed as tears began to build behind his eyes.

"My attack has been avenged! Care for toast as your last meal?" Talkie cackled as a random bolt hit and exploded him into many pieces of cheap red plastic.

"Thank SMEG for that!" Lister sighed in relief before wincing in pain at his bleeding arm.

Rimmer ran back to the others in a zig zag pattern as "Sir Smegalot" shot at him and Cat alternately and manically. As the skutter registered Rimmer coming towards him it raised the claw and positioned the sword defensively. It slashed at Rimmer with the sword as he tried to come into range with the axe – The skutter still firing at Cat. Rimmer kept dodging the sword, or at least trying to ignore it as he attempted to get close enough to have a good whack with the axe whilst resisting the urge to run.

However the Skutter was processing the information that Rimmer was a hard light hologram, and therefore hitting it with a sword was not particularly going to help. It bent back it's claw in response, placing the sword in it's holder. Rimmer took this opportunity and stepped forward, the axe raised above his head… But before he could strike the skutter thrust it's claw into Rimmer's projection, grasping Rimmer's light bee in a solid, tightening grip. Rimmer gasped in pain and shock, dropping the axe from his fading images.

These events occurred concurrently with Kira screaming in despair and leaving her hiding place to run to her crewmate, and Cat crying out as the skutter stopped and moved to aim at Kira, still tightening it's grip on Rimmer's light bee. Lister saw as clear as Cat did what was going to happen and ignored the searing pain in his arm as her charged at her.

The skutter dropped the light bee as it fired a bolt at Kira, she grabbed the axe and dived for Rimmer as Lister tumbled into her and they rolled out of the way, the bazookoid fire landed where they had been just a moment ago, leaving scorches to mar the spot.

"Buds?" Cat called, fearing the reply – Or lack of one as he dived behind a crate.

"We're fine!" Kira yelled, raising her eyes to see the deranged skutter looking over them.

"Speak for yourself!" Lister moaned as he forced back tears that were threatening to come in response to his injured arm being banged to the floor, and currently being crushed by his brave – Or at least suicidal friend.
"Sorry Dave." Kira muttered softly.

"Thank the heavens you're alright!" Kryten squeaked over Dani's performance.

"Cheers Kryten… Cat – On the count of three dash about again… Ok?" Kira yelled as Dani's howls increased in decibels even more – If that was even possible.

"Sure hun but if I get blasted you'll never hear the last of it!" Cat joked feebly.

"I know, right…1…2…3!"

Cat launched forward on the 3rd number as Kira moved off Lister's arm – Much to his aching relief and stumbled forward, dodging the claw and whacking the arm connecting the bazookoid, the latter of which was still focusing on the blur known as Cat.

The impact of Kira's blow sent the bazookoid whizzing across the floor, shattering into several large pieces, sparks flying from where it had been attached to the skutter.

Cat and Lister sighed in relief, despite the skutter still moving in anger. It reached for the sword but Kira soon put a stop to that, slicing through the claw before attacking the skutter in an unrelenting fashion.

Cat meanwhile went over to Kryten, taking Dani from him and shushing her softly, they then dashed over to Lister who was inspecting Rimmer's light bee and Kira who was still busy bashing manically at the Skutter.

"What's the verdict?" Cat asked as Dani's crying finally reduced in volume.

"He should be ok after rewiring and stuff." Lister replied optimistically as Kryten helped him to his feet and began to fuss over him and his wound.

Cat touched Kira's shoulder gently and she turned to look at him. They shared a smile and she took Dani gently from him before allowing him to lead her away. After a few steps she dropped the axe from her free hand, it hit the floor with a metallic clatter.

"You have been annihilated."

It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,

I'm all alone, more or less,

Let me fly far away from here,

Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,

Drinking fresh mango juice,

Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,

Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun,

Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.