Disclaimer : not mine we can all wish though.
A/n : sorry for the delay but I broke a bone in my hand and pulled the ligaments in my thumb in a freak accident. (I fell over…not drunk before anyone asks.)
To those who know who they are..If ya aren't enjoying it don't read. There are plenty others out there who no doubt appreciate critiscm. I, however like what I do and how I do it so Thankyou but no Thankyou ….
All in good time!
The mission despite its rocky start had progressed well, the weather on the planet they had travelled to being warm and dry. The air had been filled with the balmy smells of summer and the indigenous population had greeted them with warmth and hospitality.
Daniel had done his usual introductions and they had been cordially invited to the village elder's house for a feast. It had been edible too consisting of fried chicken, potatoes and almost identifiable vegetables.
They had stayed over one night, established the goa'uld had not been seen in several generations of folklore and oral history and had agreed to begin trade negotiations. The colonel had even been invited to spend an afternoon fishing in a well-stocked lake filled with trout like fish.
"Oh nothing beats this job," The colonel had stated leaning back against a rock and staring at the unfamiliar night sky.
"When it goes well." Carter reminded him quietly.
"Ok, when it goes well and the other shoe stays in its closet." He conceded with a wry smile.
"Would you not wish your other shoe to come out from the closet, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked his deep voice suddenly breaking the evening stillness.
"Erm." The colonel mused comically whilst their other two teammates fell about laughing.
"Oh T, you're priceless," Daniel gasped trying to regain control of himself.
"My personal value has little bearing on our conversation or the location of O'Neill's footwear, DanielJackson." The tall Jaffa stated evenly causing the young archaeologist to collapse in fits of laughter again.
The colonel grinned at his normally stoic team member and noticed a distinct twinkle in his eye; he wasn't as naïve as he chose to make out, of that the colonel was sure.
"Ok kids," he yawned, "Time for 'beddy-byes' I think. Carter as you're so full of energy you take the first watch, then me, Daniel you be the third and Teal'c the final watch. Alright campers lets go."
The colonel rose from his seat and clapped, and gestured towards the neat campsite they had constructed outside the village and within 10 minutes walk of the stargate.
Major Carter had settled in for her stint on watch, she casually observed her companions going through the motions of their nightly rituals. She found her mind wandering back to the Bart boxer short incident and hasty attempted to smother a giggle.
"I can hear you Major." The colonel's voice floated out of the open tent on the cool night breeze.
"Sorry, Sir," she muttered and withdrew a few yards further away. She began her usual pattern of patrolling the perimeter with her eyes, back and forth several times before thinking about her latest project for a moment.
But tonight her gaze was continually drawn towards her superior officers tent. She found herself wondering whether he was sleeping or if he was listening to her movements outside the camp.
A few minutes later she discovered just how awake he was when he silently emerged from the tent and began to creep towards her. She had caught a glimpse of him in her peripheral vision but other than that he had made no sound, his stealth techniques obviously honed from years of special ops; she mused in the silence.
She waited until he was inches from her position and then smoothly enquired, "Would you like a cup of cocoa to help you sleep, Sir?"
He yelped and then replied, "Sheesh Carter, you made me jump. So much for my sneakin technique eh?" Sam could sense him smirking in the darkness so she refrained from dignifying his remark with an answer so she waited. The silence stretched between them and seemed to fill the cool night. Sam felt as though the darkness would choke her if she didn't finish it off first, so she went for the jugular.
"Can I help you with anything specifically colonel?"
"Nothing specifically, Major", he purred suddenly mere centimetres from her ear; his voice low and sensual caressed her senses like a smooth silk negligee.
"I just wanted to remind you that I was still prepared to make good on my threat if I was to discover that you had anything to do with the collection of dismal bad luck I've been having lately, Major."
"I don't what you mean, Sir." She replied injecting all the innocence she could muster into her innocuous sounding rebuttal.
"I should hope that you don't, Samantha," he reiterated in a silky but now obviously dangerous tone. He turned and walked slowly back to his tent and she slowly exhaled a breath she had forgotten she was holding. Her skin broke out in gooseflesh but not in fear because she knew he would never hurt her; in anticipation.
'He knows' she thought and he's daring me to go further. 'He wants to catch me, out to get him and he knows I can't ever resist a challenge.'
'Well I just won't play ball' she vowed silently before returning to her perusal of the darkening countryside.
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"It's just not enough Janet!" Major Carter wailed to her friend flinging herself back down in her chair for the fifth time in five minutes before immediately leaping up and resumed her pacing of the small living room.
"You've caused him misery on a whole new level of paranoia for several weeks, Sam, and made all of his uniform disintegrate on three separate occasions." The petite doctor laughed.
"I know that, Jan and that's just the things that worked," she grinned conspiratorially before her face once again crumpled into an expression of deep dissatisfaction.
"It just isn't enough. There needs to public humiliation! Lasting effects!"
"So up the ante," her friend suggested waggling her eyebrows like a mini Dick Dastardly.
"Heh heh heh!" sniggered the blonde officer in response.
"Samantha Carter that was an evil laugh." Janet scolded in mock disapproval.
"Janet, I need your help." Sam stated smiling conspiratorially as she advanced back towards the couch and sat beside her friend throwing one arm around her.
"Oh no, you know I can't give you any drugs or plaster any limbs," the diminutive physician insisted as she tried to extract herself from the Major's embrace.
"Relax Jan, I don't need any drugs," she slurred, the effects of the alcohol beginning to really bite.
"I just need to you to lend me your pen." She murmured evilly before chuckling to herself once again.
"I should get a medal for my ingenuity."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The wooden door opened as she climbed up the porch steps.
"Carter, glad you could make it. C'mon in. Everyone's out back." The colonel smiled a wide smile of genuine pleasure at her arrival and for a moment she was almost persuaded to back out of the plan.
Then she recalled the deliberate challenge he had made that night in the dark and she knew she had to finish it once and for all. He would be sorry he had ever messed with a Carter..
She pasted a happy smile on her face and entered into the role of good time party girl out on a team night with the lads. Enter stage left.
"Sam," Janet shrieked already well into her third glass of wine, Sam thought.
"Hi!" She responded enthusiastically throwing her arms around the little doctor.
"The merchandise is in my coat," The doctor whispered theatrically.
"Subtle Jan, Subtle!" She retorted pulling herself away and laughing as though her friend had said something funny.
"Where's the beer? Some team night this if ya can't get a drink!"
The evening wore on in a raucous fashion, SG-1 having been joined by the SG-3 led by Major Griff, and SG-2 and the Colonel's old friend Ferretti. Later when the barbeque had died down and the evening drew chill, the remaining guests withdrew into the colonel's spacious living room and soon began to regale one another with tales of their team's past misdeeds.
"Do you remember that planet, Cp3o or whatever where that man tried to buy Daniel for 14 goats and his cousin?" Jack innocently asked the tall jaffa sitting on his sofa.
"What?" spluttered three marines simultaneously spraying their Major with beer.
"Indeed," replied Teal'c turning with what could only be described as a smirk, to the archaeologist who had covered his face with his hands and was groaning with embarrassment.
"I believe the final tender was 14 goats, the cousin, who had a considerable overbite, and three lamas." He continued with some gravity.
The other two teams gazed at him opened mouthed unaccustomed to his dry Jaffa sense of humour, until Dr Frasier rather the worse for wear collapsed laughing on to the arm of the chair Daniel was trying to merge with and everyone else joined in.
"Yes well," Daniel huffed with the faintest twinkle in his eye, "At least I know not to eat cake given to you by amorous young women, Jack!"
"He has you there, sir," Carter slurred gesturing with her bottle of beer towards the colonel.
"Well at least I can leave the house without my hankie." The colonel retorted in an extremely childish tone.
"Can not." (Throws a packet of Kleenex produced from pants pocket!)
"Can too." (Catches said packet and places it in shirt pocket.)
"Can not." (Produces another packet from other pocket)
"Can too." (Smiles, waggles eyebrows and gestures over to Sam who is gently going to sleep on the floor next to Daniel's leg)
"At least, we didn't have to wear a dress, Jack."
"Yeah there is that."
"Hey, are you ever gonna let that rest?" Sam asked in drunken dismay.
"Ermmm," Her teammates mused.
"Probably not."
They all had a hearty laugh at the Major's expense as the tale of the blue dress was told one more time for the benefit of Captain Harper of SG2 who hadn't yet heard it.
Slowly, in ones and twos the other team members withdrew and returned to their homes until at a late hour only the members of SG-1 and the diminutive doctor remained in the cosy living room.
"How much alcohol have you consumed this evening Doctor Frasier?" Teal'c enquired gravely after Janet finished a particularly ridiculous conversation with an almost incoherent Daniel.
"I dunno?" She giggled.
"Will you require assistance in order to reach the guest room?" The warrior inquired politely, looming over her an indulgent smile playing upon his features.
"Ooh dear," She laughed as he scooped her effortlessly of the floor and into his arms as though she weighed no more than a feather.
"I will retire now and undertake a period of Kelnoreem, if you will excuse me," He nodded his head solemnly and strode purposefully out of the room studiously ignoring Janet's effusive comments about the size of his muscles.
"Ok, whatever, make yourself at home," the colonel called out drunkenly after them.
"I think you need a drink, Sir," Carter slurred handing him another bottle and flopping down in a vacant armchair.
"Think I do," He said before grinning and taking a huge swallow.
"Cheers," came a disembodied voice from beside the sofa.
"Daniel?" Sam enquired, "Whatcha doin?" There was a lenghty pause when the only sound was the clock ticking.
"Nothin," a sleepy voice eventually replied, "Think I might just stay here."
"Ok you want a blanket?" She called pulling an afghan off the back of her chair and throwing it in his direction along with a cushion and then waited for a response or any sign of movement from the legs sticking out down the sideof the seat. There was none.
A soft snore from her right commanded her attention and as she looked back at her other companion, she realised he had gently fallen asleep, the almost empty bottle still clutched in his hand.
"Lightweights," the major grinned placing her beer untouched on the coffee table.
A slow smile of triumph crept across her face and she looked carefully towards the colonel. His breathing had slowed to a steady even rate but she still approached him carefully, affecting a silly 'drunken' grin and slurring out her words.
"Ok sir, I need to get you into bed. Oh dear! Hee hee hee," She giggled self-consciously and blushed hoping DAniel was indeed asleep.
'Alright,' she thought 'if he hasn't responded to that he's comatose.'
She swung one of his arms over her shoulders and heaved him up off the floor.
"Hmmmm." The colonel mumbled incoherently but consented to be assisted up the stairs and through the door that Sam opened with a soft kick into his own bedroom. She collapsed beside him sprawled onto the mattress.
"Okay you just stay there," she panted breathing heavily with the exertion. She recovered quickly and after a moment of careful listening to see if anyone had stirred she crossed to the entrance and silently closed the door.
A/N : Nearly there …. You'll just have to suffer a little while longer.