Author's note: Triclosan(a common antibacterial agent found in Dial soap...etc) when mixed with Chlorine(the standard additive to drinking water, swimming pools...etc) will produce toxic gases.

I bet you're wondering why I'm telling you this, read on and find out.

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Two cloaked figures walked across the dessert...

"Oh great! This is gonna go straight to my hips." said Sonic.

"Since when do you watch your weight?" asked the other figure.

"I started right before Sonic Adventure, my extra pixels were driving up the budget. I miss being fat though...maybe when I retire."

"How can they afford Eggman then?" asked the other figure.

"The real question is, how can they afford Rouge? I mean really-"

"I AM ROUGE YOU IDIOT!"

Sonic ran screaming like a little girl, wetting himself.

"Hey, I don't have any pants to wet."

Sonic was suddenly wearing big ugly golf pants.

"Ah, much better."

Rouge chased Sonic across the dessert, which happened to be a danish.

Rouge got stuck in a crater of cherry filling. (Mmm..)

"Yay, I lost the fat bat!" said Sonic happily.

"Hey! What are you doing wearing my pants? I'll make you pay for this!" said Eggman, pulling out a bazooka.

"I don't know what's more frightening, the bazooka or your bare bottom!"

For the sake of censorship Eggman suddenly had his pants back on.

"Hey, they're wet!"

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Meanwhile Knuckles found Rouge in the crater.

"Don't worry, I'll get you out!"

Knuckles jumped right into the sticky mess.

"Oops"

"Nice, now I'm stuck with you of all people!"

"At least we're alone..." said Knuckles with a grin.

Suddenly Charmy was thrown into the goo.

"Oh no...he's so annoying!" said Knuckles, crying.

"It's okay, I'll just sing you guys a happy song! CHARMY BEE! CHARMY BEE!..."

"NOOOOOOO"

"Okay, let me try another one...HIT THE ROAD JACK, AND DON'T YOU COME BACK NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE..."

"SHUT UP!"

"Okay, how about this one? It's a honey of an O; it's Honey Nut Cheerios!"

"Hey, they ran that ad campaign long before you were born. How did you know that jingle?" asked Rouge, eyeing the annoying little bee.

"Uh oh, I said too much" said Charmy.

Suddenly the Honey Nut Cheerios bee came and held his hand out to Charmy.

"Join me, I am your father!"

"NOOOOOOO, oh wait, that's right."

Charmy grabbed his hand and they began to fly away.

"Hey you little brat, take us with you!" bellowed Rouge.

"The less you know the better..." said Charmy as he faded away.

"Whoa, what's this "cherry" filling made out of, anyway? Must be some strong chemicals!" said Knuckles. "Here, let me try some."

Knuckles took a bite. "Hmm, it has a familiar warming sensation...kind of like Triclosan!"

"Erm, how do you know what Triclosan tastes like?"

"I have been taking care of myself all my life, how else would I be able to eat my own cooking?"

"Won't that make you sick?"

"It won't make me sick, I have more chlorine pulsing though my system than an olympic sized pool!" said Knuckles proudly.

"Eww, can you smell those fumes?"

"No, everywhere I go smells like that."

Rouge passed out.

"Great, so much for conversation."

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Elsewhere...

"Give me your fur now!" bellowed Eggman to a certain black hedgehog.

"I might have amnesia but that doesn't make me stupid!" yelled Shadow.

"Hey look, a pony!" said Eggman, pointing behind Shadow.

"Yeah right, like I'm going to fall for that one."

"Um, oh look...Maria!" Eggman points to Vector.

"Maria!" cried Shadow as he chased after Vector.

"Do I look like a Maria to you?" asked Vector. "You're giving me the creeps, I'm outta here!"

"Wait, you work for me!" yelled Eggman as Vector ran away, followed closely by Shadow.

"You don't pay me enough for this!" yelled Vector.

"Maria, wait up. You're running too fast!"

"Ahhhh!"

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Sonic was wandering the dessert, glad to be away from Rouge and Eggman.

Suddenly sexy music started to play.

"Oh no, that can mean only one thing, Amy!"

Sure enough, Amy was heading towards Sonic, running.

"Amy! I'm not interested in you, can't you take a hint? You need to find someone, how do I say this? You need to find someone "in your league" if you get what I mean. Now go on, just get out of here! I mean it, don't make me be hard on you."

Amy continued to run in Sonic's direction.

"Alright Amy, I hate to do this but you leave me no other choice-"

Amy ran past Sonic and jumped into Tails' arms, giving him a warm kiss.

"What? You and Tails? You and my best friend? whaaa-" asked Sonic, dumbfounded.

"Amy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm one hundred percent positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Sonic, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out."

Tails flew off with Amy.

Sonic just stood there for a long time, then he began to look around.

"What kind of place is this!"

Suddenly Vector ran right into Sonic.

"Hey, watch the merchandise!" scolded Sonic.

"Please help me! Some loony thinks I'm a dame named Mario!"

"No, Maria. Not Mario." said Shadow.

"Hey Shade, does that look like a Maria to you? He's way too ugly!"

"Hey, who're you calling ugly, hedgehog? Hedgehogs are the ugliest species on the planet-erm, danish!"

Both Sonic and Shadow glared at Vector.

"Get him!" yelled Shadow.

"Don't tell me what to do, I'm on it!" yelled Sonic back.

Eggman bumped into the three fighters.

"My pants are still wet, give me your fur!" ordered Eggman.

"Newsflash, my fur wouldn't even cover one cheek!" said Shadow.

"I hope you mean his face!" said Vector.

"Vector?"

"Yes Sonic?"

"You're an idiot."

"Wait, I have a better idea. Crocodile never goes out of style!" said Eggman with a gleam in his eye.

"Umm, actually it does." said Shadow as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Not in Australia." said a "cherry" covered Knuckles, carrying an unconscious Rouge.

"Phew, what's that awful smell?" asked Eggman, turning green.

"It's some kind of poison gas" answered Shadow.

Everyone began to cough.

"Feeling faint, even my hotness can't help me survive..." said Sonic as he passed out.

Only Knuckles was unaffected, everyone else was unconscious.

"More chilidogs mommy..." muttered Sonic in his sleep.

"I hate it when this happens" said Knuckles, shaking his head.

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Yuji Naka woke up after a long nightmare.

"That's the last time I eat discount sushi." he said to himself.

"Hey pal, I need to have a word with you."

"Sure Sonic, what is it?"

"The next time you decide to have a nightmare count us out!"

Everyone agreed with Sonic.

The End.