Disclaimer: see part 1.
Aoi
Part 9
Breakdown
By Random1377
A loud crash broke the relative silence of Rei's apartment, catching the First completely off guard and making her stare down in confusion at the spray of tomato juice running from every surface within five feet of her location. She had been eating lunch, and idly wondering what Major Katsuragi was doing, when she had noticed that her glass was empty. Still thinking of other things, she had walked to her fridge and refilled her glass.
She had not even felt her hand open, allowing the glass to tumble to the floor.
Worse, she thought grimly, raising her right hand and watching carefully as a minute tremor ran through her palm. It is getting worse.
Normally, there was a brief spike of pain a moment or so before her hand twitched – a burst Rei had come to anticipate and ignore… but over the past few days, even the pain was lessening, and not in a good way. She had discussed her concerns with Commander Ikari, but as it did not affect her when she was in the plug, he was unresponsive, telling her only, "If it's not stopping you, just live with it."
Rei was not scared. Concerned, she told herself as she looked around for a towel to clean up the mess, but concerned and scared were not the same thing. If the commander was not worried about her arm, why should she be? Surely he had her best interests in mind, did he not? She was his key, his doll… he would not allow her to come to unnecessary harm when there was something he could do about it, right?
Pursing her lips, Rei picked up the towel she had used for her shower, pretending that the tomato juice did not look like dripping blood as she knelt down to begin cleaning.
Relying on her left hand meant taking more time to clean, but Rei did not want to risk cutting herself on the jagged glass. The last thing she needed was another injury, no matter how slight. She knew she could be replaced, and in general, she had a very pragmatic approach to pain, reasoning that once she was hurt, she was hurt, and there was no use in whining and carrying on if there was nothing she could do about it.
Of course, this attitude did not mean she was stupid or masochistic, so she would avoid pain whenever possible.
As careful as she was being, she still nearly cut herself as her phone abruptly began to ring. Rising to her feet, she took the glass she had so far gathered and dropped it into the garbage can, picking her phone up (with her left hand) on the fifth ring.
"Yes?"
"Umm, hi, it's… hi…"
"Major Katsuragi?" Rei murmured, unused to hearing the woman on the phone at all, let alone sounding so hesitant.
"Yeah," Misato replied, "hey, I was wondering if you were free tonight."
Rei's right hand began to shake.
"I am," she said calmly, flexing her hand several times until the shaking subsided.
"Would you be up for some dinner?"
"Yes."
"Oh, umm… cool," Misato murmured, seeming surprised that her invitation was accepted, though why this would shock her, Rei was not sure.
She had, after all, spent quite a bit of time at the Major's apartment lately.
"Do you want me to come get you?"
"Yes."
"Alright, I'll be there around six."
Rei set the phone back on the cradle, staring at it for a moment and pondering the woman's odd behavior. She wondered, suddenly, if Major Katsuragi was going to try to kiss her again. She had not made any overtures since their first dinner together, but Rei could sometimes feel a certain… hunger coming off of her superior in almost palpable waves.
She felt like she was in a tidal pool, doing her best to tread water while the undertow tugged and worried at her feet. She liked the Major – quite a bit, actually – but she could never hope to match the older woman's intensity, and if she ever decided to claim Rei as her own, the First knew that she would be swept away by the older woman's desires.
I am seeing things that are not there, she told herself, returning to her cleanup, she has told me that she merely wants closeness. Her intentions are…
Rei's thoughts trailed off.
Her hand was twitching again.
( 0 0 0 )
"Plans tonight?"
Misato set the phone carefully back in its cradle, avoiding Ritsuko's eyes as she mumbled, "Nothing big, just dinner with Kaji…"
Ritsuko did not look up from her terminal, though her brow furrowed ever so slightly. "Kaji, huh?" she said softly, "I haven't seen him around much, but you sure seem to be spending a lot of time with him… rekindling old flames?"
Laughing nervously, Misato made a mental note to find a better 'date,' as she replied, "Nothing like that. It's all work related… you know him – busy, busy, busy."
"Yeah," Ritsuko muttered under her breath, "busy digging his own grave."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
The blonde pushed herself back from the terminal, stretching her arms up over her head as she glanced around her office. What a disaster this place is, she thought dismally, I never knew I was such a slob! Maya… God, I miss that woman. Cleaned when she wasn't doing anything else, made a wicked cup of coffee. Ok, so she had poor taste in men, she thought wryly, digging in her pocket for her cigarettes and putting one into her mouth, or rather, she didn't know how to be discrete. I guess I'm not one to talk, though, considering who I've been sleeping with. Maybe I should have taken a page from her book…
"Want one?" Ritsuko asked belatedly, offering the crumpled pack of cigarettes to the other woman.
Misato held her hand up, palm out. "No thanks," she said calmly, "you know I only smoke after… you know." She laughed abruptly. "I'll tell you, though… it's been too long since I've had a smoke, if you get me."
"Well you weren't being too subtle," Ritsuko muttered, tossing the cigarettes on the desk and pulling out her lighter, "even Shinji would have gotten that."
Her smile fading, Misato mumbled, "I thought we weren't talking about him anymore."
Ritsuko shook her head, cupping her lighter to her mouth and giving it a firm flick. "No," she corrected, blowing a lungful of smoke into the air, "you aren't talking about him… the rest of us are trying to keep his memory alive…" she lowered her voice, adding, "and maybe…"
"Maybe what?" Misato prompted as the other woman trailed off.
"Hmm?" Ritsuko blinked, "oh, nothing, I was just thinking about something else."
Misato frowned. "You should take a day off," she advised quietly, "you've been… spacey lately."
Waving one hand, Ritsuko muttered, "I just have a lot on my mind, that's all. I could handle things if I got a little more fucking cooperation."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Misato demanded indignantly. "I do the work of ten people around here – and believe me, with this fucking itchy piece of shit scar bugging me day and night, that isn't easy!"
Ritsuko gritted her teeth. "I wasn't talking about you," she bit out, "I'm not trying to jump down your throat – there's… God, why am I trying to explain this to you? You said you wanted to use my phone, and you've used it, now get out of here and let me work!"
Giving a mock bow, Misato snapped a salute. "Yes ma'am!" she shouted, "Major Katsuragi is moving out!"
As the purple haired woman started for the door, Ritsuko reached out. "Hey," she said softly, tapping her long-time friend on the arm to get her attention, "I'm sorry, ok? I'm… I've got a project in the works that could… well, it could be good for us, ok? That's why I've been out of it lately, but it's almost over. Just trust me, alright?"
"What kind of project?" Misato asked bluntly. "How can I trust you if you don't trust me first?"
Ritsuko's smile faded. "I'll tell you in one week," she said, putting a hand over her heart and staring into Misato's eyes, "I swear to God, I will have it done in one… week…"
Misato shivered as the blonde's eyes went glassy, her attention drawn to the far wall by something Misato could not see. Following the other woman's gaze, Misato found her staring at a lab coat hanging on the wall. Memo to me, she thought, quickly looking away before Ritsuko noticed that she had seen, check the good doctor's pockets sometime. And maybe check her psych report, too – I doubt it's much worse than mine, but it would be worth seeing what's on her mind…
Ignoring the fact that she had been dodging the regularly scheduled psychiatric 'interviews' that NERV required, Misato excused herself.
Ritsuko simply continued to stare.
( 0 0 0 )
Touji stood outside of the school like a stranger in a foreign land. There's Ayanami, he thought, pulling back behind the edge of the building across the street, God… I should talk to her some time – she knows the shit I have to go through, maybe she'd understand. He frowned as Rei came to a sudden stop, raising her hand up to eye level and flexing it several times – as if it pained her.
"What's up with that?" he muttered to himself, unconsciously sinking further into the shadows as Asuka emerged from the school a moment later, pausing only to shoot Rei a murderous glare before turning right back around and heading back into the building, clearly unwilling to be in the same airspace as the First Child.
On her way through the door, she bumped into the person Touji was waiting for.
Not here, though, he thought, watching the class rep start off down the street with her books clutched loosely to her chest. Too many people around…
For nearly a mile, Touji trailed the girl through the city, wondering suddenly how many days it had been since he had gone to school. I just did not seem to matter to him anymore – not when there were so many more important things to think about. He wondered again how Shinji managed to keep everything straight. Granted, Shinji was not coping with crumbling relationships, the death of a friend, and the day to day rage of a fellow pilot who (Touji was positive) wanted to kill one of the other pilots.
Bet he'd have dealt with it, though, Touji thought dismally, wetting his lips as he braced himself to talk to his ex-girlfriend. That guy could deal with anything… fuck, I miss him!
Shaking off this thought, Touji hurried up to where Hikari was waiting for the light to change, opening his mouth to give her some cool, casual greeting, but barely managing to stammer, "H-Hikari…" as she suddenly caught sight of him and turned around.
She looked bad, Touji decided as soon as she was facing him. Her hair was tied in its usual ponytails, but the ends look frizzy and worn, as if she had been twisting it around her fingers or pulling at it while she studied. Her eyes, while not quite haunted, were definitely not as bright as they used to be, and under each there was a faint blue tinge – as if dark circles were just starting to form.
In short, she looked like she was on the verge of breaking down – not all the way past the edge just yet, but definitely toeing the line.
"Suzuhara," the girl said quietly, giving a small nod before averting her eyes. "You look well."
Touji struggled for something to say, finally blurting, "You look awesome."
Hikari's lips compressed, but she said nothing.
Abruptly, she turned away and started walking, forcing Touji to scramble after her. "You, umm… got a minute?" he asked awkwardly, scrubbing a hand through his hair as she continued walking. "Hikari? Come on, please?"
"I don't have anything to say to you," Hikari murmured, looking both ways before crossing the street. "Stop following me."
Swallowing his pride, Touji whispered, "I'm begging, here… come on, talk to me – give me another chance. Let me make it up to you."
Hikari snorted, absently tugging at one of her pigtails as they reached the other side of the street. "Another chance to break my heart?" she said bitterly, "Sounds tempting, Suzuhara, real tempting. Sure – let's get back together so you can cheat on me again."
"I thought you were-"
"That doesn't make it ok!" Hikari exploded, rounding on the pilot before he could react and pounding her small fists against his chest, ignoring her school books as they tumbled to the ground. "You should have come to me! You should have asked me! I love you so much, and you just went and fucked that woman because of something you saw in a note? In a NOTE! It's an excuse, Touji – you know it is! You just wanted to fuck, and since I wouldn't do it, you found someone that would! Why? Why couldn't you believe in me? Why couldn't you wait for me? Wasn't I worth it? Wasn't I?"
Touji slumped back against the office building they happened to be passing as Hikari collapsed into his arms, burying her face in his chest and sobbing wretchedly as she kept moaning 'why?' over and over again. She's right, he thought dejectedly, bringing his arms up and wrapping them awkwardly around her shuddering chest. Yeah… so the sex with Maya was incredible… but in the whole time I was in her apartment, I never even said 'I like you.' Hikari's always been there for me, and I fucked her over.
"…do you want me to leave?"
Slowly, Hikari's shaking subsided. "No," she whispered, her breath coming in rough, shuddering gasps as she shook her head. "No, if you leave… I won't have anything."
"But-"
"Listen," Hikari cut in sharply, "this… everything's falling apart, Touji – everything. With Ikari, and Asuka, and, God, just everything… I don't want to lose any more." Refusing to meet his eyes, she concluded, "So… let's get back together, ok? Just hold me, and tell me things will be alright – even if you're lying, that's fine – I just can't be alone anymore."
Feeling sick, Touji tightened his embrace. "I'll do anything," he swore, "anything you say, Hikari… I just-"
Hikari cut him off one last time, keeping her voice low as she said, "Show me I can trust you, Touji, that's all you need to do." Biting her bottom lip, she slowly raised her eyes. "You can touch me if you want," she said hesitantly, blushing brightly at the boldness of her words, "will that be enough, Touji? I don't want to lose you again, but I'm… I'm not ready to have sex yet."
Touji nodded. "That's cool," he said, wishing he was better at the sappy lines guys rattled off in romance movies. "You are worth waiting for, Hikari."
Fortunately for him, this particularly corny line struck just the right chord in Hikari's still-indecisive heart.
Closing her eyes, Hikari barely whispered, "I won't make you wait forever, Touji… you're the one I want to spend my life with…"
…and if I have to give myself to you to keep you by my side, she added mentally, that's worth the price. Right?
Hikari felt drained and weary, slumping almost lifelessly against Touji's chest as cars passed by. Life required sacrifice, she thought helplessly, and love was never easy. Besides which, she had lost so much already – from her confidence, to her two best friends – one lost to her memories of a boy Hikari had hardly known, one lost before she had ever even entered Hikari's life – to her ability to trust… the class rep of II-A just wanted something to hold onto, no matter the cost.
She would give her virginity to Touji as soon as she felt like she could look him in the eye without wanting to break into tears, and then, maybe, he would be the one constant in her life – the final bastion of stability in this horribly tumultuous world.
…maybe.
( 0 0 0 )
((Ring)) ((Ring)) ((Ring)) ((Ri-))
((Click))
"What?"
"G- Commander?"
"Who else would it be, Doctor? Do you know what time it is?"
"…I need to see you, Gendou, I-"
"No, Doctor. Goodnight."
"But I-"
((Click))
"…really need to see you! Please, I can't take this anymore. Sir, Gendou, I… I've started the project… I'm sorry. Six days. I'll be done in six days – it'll work this time, you'll see! I-"
((Bzz)) ((Bzz)) ((Bzz))
"You'll see…"
( 0 0 0 )
Asuka clacked her teeth together as she waited for the go-ahead to launch. It was a bad habit, she knew – one she was sure her dentist would get on her for the next time she was in – but for the life of her, she could not seem to stop doing it. She knew, on some level anyway, that it was a direct result of all the stress that she was under, but seeing as how she never accepted or acknowledged this stress, the source of her newly developed nervous habit would remain forever a mystery to her conscious mind.
Currently, she was more interested in knowing, "Why the hell am I still sitting here?"
"Cool your jets," Misato's voice replied, sounding not at all sympathetic, "the angel's still in orbit, and no one said you would be going anyway."
"Yeah," Asuka snorted, "like I trust your judgment! Just send me up there and stop fucking around."
Misato's answer was terse. "Sit there and shut up, I'm sick of your-"
Ignoring her, Asuka switched channels, turning her attention to Ritsuko's new assistant. "Listen," Asuka said, "Yuriko, Yumiko, Sachiko, whatever your name is."
"Yukiko," the young woman supplied helpfully, "Yukiko Ay-"
"Yeah, sure," Asuka cut in flatly, "look, Yukiko, I'll make this simple for you… you listening?"
"Y-yes…?"
Asuka took a deep breath. "If you don't put this fucking Evangelion on the roof in the next thirty seconds, I will bring it to the command room, yank you out of that chair you're probably cowering in, and crush you like a fucking grape – and if you think for one moment that I can't or won't do it, consider the fact that I dove Unit 02 into an active volcano just to prove that I was the best, and let an angel cover me in acid so I could say I had a hand in killing it. Tick tock, Yuki-chan… time's wasting."
Yukiko paled, looking helplessly to her superior for direction.
"Fuck it," Ritsuko said coldly, "if she wants it that bad, send her." Raising her voice, Ritsuko called, "Don't fuck up, Asuka… after the battle, I'll be reviewing your performance with Misato. Get me?"
There was a moment of silence.
"I get you," Asuka replied finally, her voice betraying no emotion whatsoever. "It'll be the shortest review ever, because I will NOT fuck up."
Ritsuko screwed a cigarette into her mouth, bringing her lighter up to it before remembering that there was no smoking on the bridge. "We'll see," she muttered darkly, nodding to Yukiko. "Send her."
"Why did you do that?"
"Hmm?"
Misato put a hand on Ritsuko's shoulder, forcing her to turn around as her subordinate began typing the commands to launch Unit 02. "Why did you do that?" she repeated, her voice shaking with rage as she glared at the blonde, "I'm operations director – deciding who sorties is my job. I have a hard enough time getting her to respect my authority as it is!"
"You sound like a parent," Ritsuko pointed out coolly, "get past it. You're being more childish than Asuka right now – what do you care who launches on this one? You just want her grounded because her new haircut pisses you off."
Her face coloring with rage, Misato snarled, "Watch your fucking mouth! I'm in charge here, so stay the fuck out of my way!"
In her seat, Yukiko did her best to control her shaking. Yeah, mom, she thought faintly, it's a great promotion. What? Stress? No problem! The money's great, and I'll be working side by side with a fantastic crew – people who are so dedicated to saving the world that they've come together like a big family, supporting each other and laughing in the face of danger!
Mentally, she made a note to find the person in her old division who had told her this, and give them a large piece of her mind.
"Is this thing gonna be strong enough?" Asuka asked skeptically, heaving the positron rifle she had been sent onto Unit 02's shoulder.
"Should be," Misato answered nastily, "but no big deal, right? You're so psyched to fight, I'm sure you'd stand there all week to get a good shot."
Asuka positioned the gun, imagining Misato's face on the other end of the barrel as she muttered, "That's the best you can come up with? I've had grade-schoolers zing me better than that."
"Considering your maturity level, I thought it was fitting."
"Hey, am I just supposed to sit here, or what?" Touji's voice broke in. "If Red's got it covered, I'm gonna take a nap or something."
"Suzuhara?"
"Yes, Souryu," Touji sighed wearily, "what is it?"
"I've got a joke for you. Knock-knock."
There was a long pause. "You're kidding, right?" Touji said slowly. "A knock-knock joke? In the middle of a fight?"
Asuka laughed softly. "Come on," she said lightly, "it's a good one. Knock-knock."
After another, longer pause, Touji said, "You're serious…"
Once more, Asuka chirped, "Knock-knock!"
"Who's the-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING WHINER!"
Everyone in the command room, Gendou included, clapped their hands over their ears as a horrible screeching sound rang out over the tac-net, sounding like a combination of fingernails on a chalkboard and broken glass against a windowpane. It lasted only five seconds, but when it was over, several of the bridge technicians were gasping for breath, and at least two looked as if they could easily throw up.
"What… the fuck… was that?" Misato demanded.
"I have no idea," Ritsuko answered, digging frantically at her ears as if trying to scrape the memory of the noise out of them, "but it would be very nice if it never happened again."
In her entry plug, Asuka separated the two wires she had pulled from the unit's built-in microphone, smiling happily at the string of curses now coming over the network.
"Funny, huh?"
"Enough bullshit," Misato snapped, "kill the damn angel and get back here so I can kick your ass!"
Asuka pushed the button to bring Unit 02's fire control visor down over her eyes. "Just give me five seconds."
( 0 0 0 )
Touji drummed his fingers on his thigh, glancing absently at his chronometer as he blew out a lungful of LCL and watching bubbles spin lazily in front of his eyes.
"Borrring," he yawned, keying open the direct link to Unit 02 for the fifteenth time. "I thought you said five seconds, Souryu – not five hours."
"Shut up, stooge!" Asuka's voice – no longer sounding terribly amused – snapped back. "It's only been two!"
"Only," Touji snorted, stretching in his seat and twisting his neck sharply from side to side to make it pop. "You take longer than my old man takes to use the bathroom."
Asuka rubbed her eyes. "Hate to break it to you, loser," she said with false sympathy, "but he's not using the bathroom – he's just avoiding your sorry a-"
Touji let the conversation go, closing his eyes and shutting his com system down before leaning back in his seat. Hikari he thought tiredly, sorry, babe… looks like I won't be coming over tonight…
He laced his hands behind his head, getting more comfortable as he let his mind wander over the last day and a half. Somehow, and he was not exactly sure how she had arranged it, Hikari had managed to spend nearly twenty-four straight hours with him, staying by his side wherever he went and making out with him like crazy when she was sure no one was looking.
Making up for lost time, I guess, Touji thought, scratching absently at his nose before reclining still further in his seat, no complaints from me, of course… just kinda strange. She goes from brushing me off on the street to sucking on my tongue and pulling my hand up her shirt in one day. I'll never understand women.
His expectations of their reunion had involved a lot of groveling on his part, and a good week at least before he tried for anything deeper than a little kiss… but of course, he had no way of knowing just how desperate Hikari had gotten. He could not know that she had been so hung up on him that she had begged her sister to sleep in her room because she was afraid of what she might do if she was alone. He had no understanding of the fear that haunted her day and night – the fear that everyone would be taken away from her in the blink of an eye, the way Shinji had suddenly been taken away from the world.
Too wrapped up in his own fears and worries to spare her enough attention, Touji had no way of knowing that, in spite of what she said about needing time, Hikari would have done anything he asked without question, as long as he promised that she would never be alone.
"Can't push her too hard, though," Touji whispered to himself, finally opening his eyes and sitting up in his seat, "I've learned my… lesson…"
He trailed off, frowning as he spied a small, flashing box of text on his heads-up display. Squinting, he leaned closer, reading, 'incoming communication request from Unit 02/system currently set to OFF.'
"Better not be another lame 'joke,'" Touji muttered, reaching out to reactivate his com system. "I'm h-"
"-ut of my MIND!" Asuka's voice blared over the tac-net, "Oh God, it's RAPING MY MIND!"
Touji jerked upright. "What the hell…?"
"Pilot's mental boarders are being crossed," Yukiko's voice shouted frantically, "Contamination imminent. Doctor Akagi – we can't stop it!"
"Secondary positron," Misato ordered sharply, "fire now!"
"Understood."
"No," Touji whispered, shaking his head as a storm of voices crashed into the entry plug, "No, no, no! How… I just had it off for a minute! How did this happen?"
"No good!" Aoba reported grimly, "Rei's shot didn't have enough power to penetrate the angel's AT field!"
"Get out," Asuka sobbed, "get OUT OF ME! Someone… God, make it stop! Please! Shinji… SHINJI, SAVE ME!"
Touji grabbed the control yokes. "Send me out!" he cried, adrenaline flooding his bloodstream as he anticipated the jolt of the catapult sending him to the surface. "Let me go – I'll save her!"
He nearly choked on his own tongue as the Commander calmly replied, "No… we cannot risk Unit 01's contamination. Rei… go to Dogma and get the Lance."
"Yes sir."
Asuka whimpered as the angel pushed its way deeper into her mind. No, she thought desperately, no don't… don't make me remember!
The world quivered, visions of the past ticking at the corners of her eyes as the angel casually rifled through her memories.
"Asuka," her mother's voice echoed in her ears, "don't talk to that strange girl…"
"Asuka," her father's voice, this time, "don't you like the doll your new mommy bought for you?"
"Asuka."
"No," Asuka gasped, her eyes going wide at this newest voice, "no… NO!"
"Asuka, we're going to be late for sch-"
"NOO!"
Yukiko gasped out loud, covering her mouth in horror as she reread her terminal screen. "D-doctor Akagi…?" she stammered.
"What is it?" Ritsuko demanded.
"The MAGI are reporting cranial trauma to Unit 02's pilot."
"How is that possible?" Misato demanded, leaning over Yukiko's shoulder for a better look, "Unit 02 isn't even being touched!"
Ritsuko closed her eyes, envisioning the scene in her mind.
She knew exactly how it was possible.
( 0 0 0 )
"AAAAHHHH!"
Again and again, Asuka slammed her head into the side of the entry plug, welcoming each ringing blow – and the resulting clarity it brought – like a long lost family member.
"AAHHH!"
"Asuka!" Misato's voice screamed over the network, "What are you doing?"
Asuka did not bother with a reply. Grinning like a maniac, she felt the angel retreating from her mind, hovering at the perimeter of her consciousness like an uncertain puppy, waiting for its master to explain why it was being hit. "That's right," Asuka grunted, settling back into her seat and grasping the yokes with shaking hands, "get the fuck out of my goddamn head!"
Ignoring the blood trickling from her spilt scalp, she willed Unit 02 to its feet. Now then, fucker, she thought brutally, it's time to learn who NOT to fuck with!
"Unit 02 is moving," Yukiko reported breathlessly, "the angel's attack is following."
"Motion pattern is erratic," Aoba chimed in, "looks like she hurt herself pretty bad, Major…"
On screen, Unit 02 broke into a lurching, awkward run, bouncing off of buildings like a pinball as it staggered towards its destination.
"Unit 00 is on its way back up," Hyouga said quickly, "two minutes until she surfaces!"
Asuka bared her teeth. "Fuck her," she hissed, her grin widening as she slipped Unit 02 deftly into place, "I've got it taken care of."
"Unit 02 is at the secondary positron rifle firing location," Yukiko reported a moment later, "She's patching it into her own gun!"
Aoba was caught up in the excitement. "She's chained them," he nearly laughed, "She's powering her own rifle – Major, if she fired both at the same time, she-"
"Give me full power," Asuka demanded suddenly. "Hope this doesn't cause a blackout."
In the plug, the redhead pulled her firing computer back over her eyes, re-sighting the angel and watching as the readout for her rifle climbed slowly from 'nominal' into the 'active' range. Just need enough for one shot, she thought giddily, tightening her hold on the controls, one-two, bang, bang – and the angel will-
Abruptly, everything in Unit 02 went dark.
"W-what…?"
Red light filled the plug as the secondary power supply went online.
"Rei," the Commander's voice boomed, "destroy the angel."
Confused, Asuka pounded on her control yoke, shoving the fire control computer to the side. "What's going on!" she demanded, scrubbing at her right eye as a rivulet of blood ran into it. "What – THE FUCK – is going ON?"
"Stand down, pilot," Gendou's level voice ordered, "the First will handle the angel."
"Like hell she will!" Asuka shrieked. "This is my kill – I don't need her help! A concentrated shot from both rifles will blow it out of the fucking sky!" A horrible, sickening thought occurred to her. "You did it," she gasped, shaking her head as the angel tried to reestablish its contact with her. "You cut the power so I couldn't kill the angel…!"
Gendou sounded smug. "Correct," he said bluntly, "we cannot risk having a power outage in the middle of a fight, Miss Souryu… I'm surprised you would think this was a viable option."
Asuka was flabbergasted. "B-bullshit!" she managed, finding that rage was almost as effective as keeping the angel out as pain, "That is bull… SHIT! You just want your little doll to-"
"Unit 00 is in throwing position," Aoba cut in. "Five seconds until release."
"Stand down, pilot," Gendou repeated coolly, "you-"
"Shut up!"
Asuka stabbed the button to shut the communications system down so hard that she nearly broke her finger.
"Damn it," she sobbed, slumping back in her seat and covering her face with both hands. "Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!"
The angel continued to batter at her mental defenses, but Asuka barely took notice – the rage welling up inside of her was too intense to be denied. Everyone's against me, she thought frantically, Wonderslut, Misato, even the fucking COMMANDER himself! No one wants me to win, no one wants me to be happy… they're all trying to kill me – to drive me insane!
Abruptly, the pain in her head lessened… and Asuka knew that the angel had been destroyed.
"Bitch," she hissed, staring at her blood-soaked hands as she pulled them away from her face. "That little bitch! You should have let me die, First Child… you should have let me die…"
Closing her eyes, Asuka decided that the time had come.
The next time she caught the First alone… Asuka was going to fulfill her promise.
To be Continued…
Author's Notes: would firing two positron rifles at the same time render NERV powerless? Now on the one hand, firing it in episode 5 took all the power in Japan. On the other hand, firing it in episode 22 barely even registered as a big event, hinting that they decreased the power necessary to operate it. Of course… even if a blackout wasn't a risk, I think we all know that Gendou would have found another reason to stop Asuka from killing the angel. Poor Asuka… it does kind of look like everyone's against her, doesn't it? Maybe she'll find an ally in the next chapter, though, who knows?
Pre-read on this chapter was by AudienT Void – who insists that I capitalize the T in his name. No, really!
And in other news, QuickEdit has now decided that a row of dashes with spaces between is not acceptable. From now on, ( 0 0 0 ) will be my new scene break. Thanks, QuickEdit… thanks a lot.
Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing me directly at random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.