SHOUT OUTS:

Kavina: Yeah, I've been wanting to do some other relationship stuff like Jessica/Harry or even Blaise/Ginny, but I haven't figured out how to ad it in without it just appearing out of the blue. I'm glad you liked the exchange between Lavi and Hermy! Keep reading!

Raisa: Hell yeah! I've had so many Sex Ed. Classes! Soooo many memories… some of the things in this chapter are totally based on the events in my OWN sex ed classes in middle school and even high school.

Maria Casey Weasley: Haha, don't worry, I wont hit you. Yeah, McGonagall teaching a sex ed class is pretty funny to imagine. You play the clarinet? That's cool. I play the bass and I used to play the oboe… which is kinda like the clarinet.

AmErIcAnCoWgIrL: Glad you liked it! I've never had a wellness class… or a sexual harassment class for that matter. Did the girl get mad at you when you put her thong on the flag pole? LOL

Vick: Yeah… I wasn't sure if I should make McGonagall believe her or not, but I thought it would be funnier if she didn't. And maybe Dumbledore DOES believe her… who knows, I didn't really clarify that. My bad, lol.

DaVinciWyoka: Its McGonagall teaching, Dumbledore was just making sure she would do it because she really didn't want to. And yes, it would be totally awkward.

Bagel: Haha yeah, I forgot to tell you I was writing that… but you were kinda getting annoyed at me for asking your opinion so much, so it all worked out for the best. Ima try to send you this chapter to beta… if you're not at your soccer game. AND YES! I USED YOUR FAVORITE PHRASE! HAHAHAHA… but I forgot to give you a shout out about it… sorry.

Jibs: There IS more on the boxers in this chappie :) And about the Harry/Jessica, I will try and add some, if and when I can figure out where to add it in.

Chikka: I'll think about making him visit… or maybe Hermione will visit them? Who knows :)

AkashaVampireQueen: Thank you! I hope you keep reading

Tears in my Heart: You wanted more soon… and here it is! A bit late… but here none the less.

Classicaldancer: Hahaha… Glad you like the plot, and don't worry, I shall not abandon the story in the middle… I like writing it too much.

LaurenJohnson924: The boxers are mentioned again in this chapter :D So keep reading!

Tori: Indeed I DO love new reviewers! Everyone wants more of the flowery boxer shorts, LOL and you WILL get more. Soooo keep reading and reviewing!

Kitty and Kenny: Hahaha yeah, I thought it would be funny to have Professor McGonagall teach Sex Ed. Also. And you shall find out more about the boxers.

The REAL Cheese Monkey: Don't die on me! Here's the next chapter!

Serlene: Glad I got you laughing! Here's the next chappie!

Browneyes: I have a question, I saw that your e-mail is and I was wondering… are you talking about Kingdom Hearts? Because I am OBSESSED with that game.

A/N: I LOVE YOU PEOPLE! I GOT A TON OF REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER… THE MOST I'VE EVER GOTTEN! I HOPE IT KEEPS HAPPENING! LOL… OKAY, ON WITH THE STORY!

RECAP:

"Because of recent happenings and several students who were unable to control their… urges," She shot a look in Hermione's direction, and Hermione blushed deeply. Draco laughed. McGonagall continued, "We have decided that a… sexual education class is in order."

Chapter 33 – Sex Ed

The class burst into giggles, muttering amongst themselves as McGonagall rolled her eyes and took another deep breath.

"Class!" she called. "Class! That is quite enough!" Many of the students turned to her, awaiting her next words. She looked over at Dumbledore once again, and he gave her a reassuring nod. She crossed her arms, and it was clear that she would rather be anywhere than teaching a class full of immature 17 year olds about sex.

"The short of it is," she began. "That if you have sex you will either get pregnant, or a sexually transmitted disease and in the end you will die. Alright, class dismissed!" she said all of this very quickly, and as she finished made a turn for the door but the headmaster caught her arm.

"Minerva," he said, in a warning tone looking up at her.

"Fine. Fine," she said, taking a white handkerchief out of her pocket and moping at her forehead. This was the most nervous Hermione had ever seen Professor McGonagall. "Intercourse," she said with a cough. "I take it you all know what it is?"

Several people nodded, the rest of the class just stared up at her.

"Surely more of you know what intercourse is. Speak up!"

The class stayed silent.

She gave an exasperated sigh. "Alright. Everyone get out a quill and parchment, and write everything you know about intercourse, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, the reproductive system, and contraceptive charms by the end of class. Is the assignment understood?"

Silence again.

"You know this is the most silent this class has been all year!" McGonagall said ironically. "Now get to work!"

The students began to write, several of the shyer ones blushing, and several of the bolder ones chuckling, and they continued to write until the bell wrung shrilly, cutting them off.

"Good. Very good class! I would like you to hand the papers to me on your way out the door and then you will be dismissed. We will continue the lesson tomorrow."

Hermione joined the line of students walking towards McGonagall, and reluctantly handed her the essay she had written. McGonagall glared at her, clearly blaming her for the current lesson plan, and Hermione rushed out of the class room.

XXX

Hermione stared down at the pages of her advanced potions book, trying to take in as much information as she could before their test the following day. She yawned loudly, wanting nothing more to fall onto her bed and go straight to sleep. But no, she would be up for at least another hour.

"I should've known you'd be reading," she heard a voice say from the doorway, causing her to snap her head in its direction.

"Why do you always have to surprise me?" she asked, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and sitting up. "It's quite rude you know."

"Oh. Well pardon me." Draco said sarcastically, taking a seat next to her. At sitting, he looked confused, and reached beneath where he had sat, pulling something out. A crumpled mess of cloth… pink with daisies. Hermione froze, realizing what they were, and waited for his response.

He stared at the object, unfolding it and holding it up in front of his face which lit up instantly. "MY—" he yelled, and then stopped himself. "I mean… what are these ridiculous things? Belong to the weasel? Or perhaps to pothead?"

She rolled her eyes. "Give it up Draco, I know they are yours. I took them from your room the other night during truth or dare. Now it's your turn to explain exactly why you have pink flowered knickers?"

He looked like he was about to defend himself for a split second, then gave up. "Oh all right. I got them as a present from my mother two Christmas' ago. I was going to toss them out, but they were just so soft… Hey! Stop laughing at me! Dare I need to remind you about the vibrator incident?"

"Cant you get over that? It's really not that big a deal!"

"Yes it is."

"It is not."

"Yes it is."

"Draco! Will you just let me finish? It's not that big a deal. Loads of girls use them… and besides, it's not like I used it that much. It didn't even really work…"

"Whatever you say..." he said with a smirk.

"You talk now, but what about when I tell the whole school about those?" she asked, pointing to the boxers he held.

His face fell. "Alright, point taken."

She smiled triumphantly.

XXX

Hermione stared forward at Professor McGonagall, who had taken her position at the front of the room. She, as all the other students, eagerly awaited the lesson plan of the day, considering it would be the second day of Sex Ed.

"Alright class," she stated, standing tall. "I want each of you to come up and get one of these packets. Today we will be doing a sort of… friendly competition. After taking a packet, I will assign partners. You and your partner will then search through these text books and fill out the questions in the packet. First group to finish will get 5 points for their house."

The room filed up, each student grabbing a packet and giggling immensely. Finally, Hermione was able to get her hands on one of the packets, and looked down at it in interest.

It was two diagrams, one of a penis and one of a vagina. She flipped the page. Many words to be defined, and on the next page was some sort of a questionnaire. Hermione took her seat.

"Alright." McGonagall stated. "Looks like you have all taken a packet, and now I will assign the partners. Neville Longbottom and Ronald Weasley, Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, Millicent Bulstrode and Pansy Parkinson, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil…"

Hermione could still hear names being called off in the back round as Parvati turned to Hermione frantically, a look of horror on her face. "Lavender and I?" she asked. "No way! I hate her. There is NO way I'm going to be paired with her." she crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Come one Parvati… maybe you two can make up." Hermione said hopefully.

Parvati let out a scornful laugh. "Yeah, right."

"So go take a seat next to your partner and get to work." McGonagall finished.

Parvati hesitantly made her way towards Lavender and Harry took a seat next to Hermione. "Want me to go get a dictionary?" he asked, flipping the page to words they had to define.

"Got one." Hermione replied, pulling a heavy book from her bag. "Okay. So what is there to define? There's penis obviously, then there's scrotum, testicles, urethra, seminal vesicle, prostate gland, vas deferens, epididymis, vagina, fallopian tubes…"

"Hey can we work with you guys?" Ron asked, Neville trailing behind him.

"Yeah sure, why not." Said Harry, gesturing to the seats opposite them.

"Ovaries, uterus, rectum, anus, cervix, clitoris, labium majora, and Labium minora." Hermione finished, letting out a breath.

"Uh… Hermione?" Ron asked. "What the hell are you talking about."

"The definitions. We are actually trying to get our work done, isn't that right Harry?" she asked, waiting for a response. "Harry?"

Harry turned to her from where he had been staring. "Oh right… sorry. What was that? I was trying to count to a thousand in my head."

Ron laughed. "Riiight… trying to get work done, eh?"

"You know, we don't have to let you in our group Ron…"

"Okay okay. So as you were saying, labera mayor."

"Labium minora." She corrected.

"Yeah whatever. Will you guys look up the first half of the words and me and Neville can look up the second half?"

"Sure, sounds like a good idea." Hermione said, flipping through the dictionary and writing definitions as she went.

"What's a clitoris?" Neville asked, pausing and looking up.

Ron and Harry burst into laughter. "You don't know what a clitoris is?" Harry asked him in disbelief.

"Uhh…" Neville shifted in his chair uncomfortably.

Hermione shot them a disapproving glare. "It's alright Neville. I bet there are quite a few people who don't know what a clitoris is."

"He DOSENT know what a clitoris is?" Asked Blaise from a table near them. "Oh man! No wonder you don't get any girls!" Then he and Draco burst into laughter.

Neville turned bright red. "I was just kidding!" He said defensively. "I know what it is!"

"What is it then?" Asked Draco.

"Uh… um… well…" He said. "It's that… thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing… that the guys have! That they… insert into the girls!" His response earned a fresh batch of laughter.

"No it isn't!" Blaise said loudly. "Man, you are totally clueless!"

Neville turned to Hermione hopefully. "What is it?" He asked.

It was Hermione's turn to blush. "Umm… well…" She said, not wanting to explain it.

"Wait a second," Hermione heard Lavenders voice call from another close table. "Neville doesn't know what a clit is?" She turned to Parvati and the cackled appreciatively, apparently friends once again.

Neville sunk his head into his arms in embarrassment.

"What's all the commotion?" McGonagall said, striding over.

"Nothing Professor." Hermione said. "Everything's under control–"

"Professor!" Blaise shouted amidst laughter. "Get this… Longbottom here doesn't know what a clitoris is!"

Neville looked up at McGonagall. "What does it mean?" He asked.

"Uhh… Well… Mr. Longbottom, you have a dictionary right in front of you… make use of it!" she walked away quickly.

Hermione looked over at Neville in pity, and flipped to the 'C' section of the dictionary quickly, handing it to Neville. He stared down at the word, reading its meaning, and his eyes grew very wide. "Ohhhh." he said in a significant tone.

"Can I please get your attention class?" McGonagall said from the front of the room. They turned to face her. "Since we are running out of time, I will take any questions you have. You are to finish the packets over the night and turn them in tomorrow as homework. We will be going back to our regular lesson plan tomorrow."

"Ooh!" Lavender raised her hand excitedly.

"Yes Ms. Brown?"

"Okay. So I was just wondering, can you get pregnant if you sit on a toilet seat where a guy has… you know… left his sperm on?"

"No, you cannot."

"Are you sure? Because my friend told me that her friend got pregnant that way."

"I think that it would be very, very unlikely… next question?"

Neville raised his hand timidly.

"Yes?"

"Does masturbation count as exercise?"

The class burst into laughter.

"Umm… I guess that technically since there is… movement involved, you could count masturbation as exercise… but I wouldn't rely on it to keep you in shape." McGonagall answered.

Neville looked crestfallen. "Oh," he said in a forlorn tone. "Okay…"

"Anymore questions?" McGonagall asked, scanning the room for raised hands.

Once again, Neville raised his pudgy hand into the air. "What is the average length of a male penis?"

McGonagall looked very uncomfortable. "I honestly do not know, Mr. Longbottom."

"6 inches." Draco answered, looking over at him with a smile. "That would make me well above average." he added with a wink.

"Mr. Malfoy that was all together inappropriate. Will there be any more questions?"

Neville raised his hand yet again.

"Why don't you just say all your questions at once?" McGonagall asked.

"No, I promise this is the last one!"

"Alright then, ask away."

"I still don't understand what a clitoris is!"

The class groaned. "How can you not understand? It's not that bloody complicated!" someone shouted from the back of the room.

"The clitoris…" McGonagall began, clearing her throat uncomfortably. "Is used for female stimulation."

"Huh?" Neville asked in confusion. "You mean like… pleasure?"

"Yes Mr. Longbottom. Pleasure. Now I think we should wrap this up, because the bell will be ringing any second now…"

"Wait!" Neville shouted. "Actually I have one more question!"

She looked at him in annoyance. "Yes?" she said slowly.

"Can a boy get pregnant from gay sex?"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

The bell sounded just in time, saving McGonagall from answering, and the class filed out.

XXX

A/N: Haha… hope you liked the Sex Ed class! Sorry it took so long… I was having a bit of writers block. At least 7 reviews before an update!