Conditions of Love
Disclaimer: Not mine. :(
Er..I think something weird happened when I tried to upload this chapter…it kind of disappeared? XD well, let me try again and hopefully this will work, now? TT sorry.
Chapter 2
Why was I so scared for him? This boy that I felt I hardly even knew until now? What did it matter to me if my captain had muscle pains that could—would, if given the chance—take his life? Oh, it mattered, and it mattered a lot. More than I ever imagined. How could I feel this way? Especially over another boy?
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I had not been able to overtake him. He was the first who I could not beat, the first to surpass me at the game I thought I was best at. Tennis…I had always thought I was on top. But, I was wrong. Yukimura Seiichi had more than I did. He had the skills and, more importantly, he had the heart and love of the game.
At this time, the heart he played with was what I lacked. I was blessed with the natural talent for tennis at a young age, and had been playing ever since. Tennis came easily to me—I felt skills were enough, that I needed not to try.
When my family moved to Kanai, they enrolled me at a school called Rikkai. They had heard much praise for the tennis team there, and thought it would be best for me to receive schooling and participate locally with tennis.
Being over-confident, I was undaunted by Rikkai's "big name". It meant nothing to me, and I was sure I could beat anyone at that school.
And I did. I made a name for myself there—everyone in the club knew who Sanada Genichirou was. The coaches recognized me, asked me to compete for the captain position of their Regular's Team. Knowing I would definitely take the title, I agreed.
It was simple, beating everybody. Quite funny, even. To think they could ever match up with me. Everybody, until he came up to me, asked me for a simple match.
He was a candidate for captain too, he told me. The last one I would have to play. No, he was the last one I would have to beat. Without a second glance, I underestimated this boy. He was small—the word fragile even came to my mind. Beating him would be too easy, it almost made me feel sorry for him. Almost.
I had never been more wrong about any person before. This boy, I had so carelessly overlooked, was the first. Never had I seen anyone who had so much natural talent—talent that rivaled even my own—that played with so much heart and effort. It was like he put his entire being into the match, focusing only on his goal of victory. He beat me—an astonishing 6-2. Hardly believing the score, I shook his hand.
So, his name was Yukimura Seiichi. The brand new captain of Rikkai Dai's Tennis Team. He held my title, leaving me merely as co-captain. Disappointed, yes. Amazed? Even more so.
This boy taught me so much. I avoided him,though, he was too good for me. Never again would I underestimate anyone. He had such a love for the game that I never knew could exist. Time and time again, he would try to talk to me and tell me I could be greater than I already was—greater than he, even—if I could learn to truly love tennis.
I never listened to him, though. Tennis was not a person; it could not be a lover. It was a sport. You played tennis, not loved it.
Then he got sick. The doctors said it was hardly anything serious, recovery was highly possible. They were wrong, though. Yukimura was hospitalized, diagnosed with a muscle disease that could one day invade his lungs, eventually kill him. Not so serious, those doctors said? It seemed pretty serious to me—and I was upset with their stupidity.
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It had been awhile since Yukimura was restricted to the hospital. I was promoted to "substitute captain" in his absence. But, it didn't feel right. It bothered me to no end. The one who loved tennis the most was the very one who had it taken away from him. And it was I who now held his "title".
So I tried my best to truly fulfill his position. I would learn to love tennis if it killed me. I would play my heart out for Yukimura. I would be Yukimura, if that would help him to get well again.
Something within me developed for Yukimura. Something that I could not explain, not even to myself. It was odd, but I did not like him missing from our practices. I needed him there to push me, even when I tried to avoid him. He was so kind to me, so full of this inner peace or love that I couldn't recognize…and I missed it everyday.
Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I went to visit him. The Yukimura in the hospital room was not what I was expecting. This Yukimura was nothing like the Yukimura I had known. This Yukimura was angry, just plain angry at the world, and full of doubt. I was able to recognize this change in him—I didn't know if he had, yet.
This Yukimura told me that he would need to undergo surgery, success rates were few. I was shocked; when was this surgery to be held? Of course it had to be the day of the regionals against Seigaku, when Rikkai needed him the most. And, I was scared for him.
I tried not to let my emotions show. I couldn't. I had to be strong for him—he was such a wreck, nothing like he used to be. Such a dramatic change in him would only perhaps worsen if I let myself change dramatically by showing emotion that I had never before showed.
I was left speechless…Or so I thought.
"Hating is easy, Yukimura, but love takes courage."
Where did those words come from? I hardly remembered speaking them. Hatred? Yes, I knew he felt hatred, though not towards me, exactly. But, love? Where had that come from? Did I…love Yukimura?
I didn't know what to do. I simply left the room.
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But, that wasn't enough. I was left with an uneasiness in my gut that refused to go away. Is this what Yukimura felt like? Stuck with something inside of him that he didn't want? So I went back the next day. And the day after that. And all the days following. No matter how busy, Yukimura somehow maintained importance in my schedule.
I would tell him what happened at the tennis club, the other's wishes for a successful surgery and that they wanted him to get well soon. This seemed to slowly make him happy once more, brought more life back into him. I was glad. The old Yukimura was returning.
But, I was confused now. Why did I keep going back? What was so important about seeing him everyday? Then I realized, I really was scared for him, no matter how much I tried to hide it. Scared that, if I missed seeing him one day, he would be filled with hate again and forget what happiness was. I believed my visits gave him the sliver of hope that someone in the world still cared about him, wanted him to get well. Without me, he would simply lose that hope, lose his will for life. Death would overtake that Yukimura with ease.
Maybe I once again underestimated Yukimura. Perhaps he was still stronger than I believed him to be. That did not change the one fact, though. No matter how strong a person Yukimura was, I was still not as strong as he. The mere prospect of his death was enough to fill my entire body with fear.
This was different for me—new and strange. Yukimura is a boy, I am a boy. So, why—how—can I be drawn to him, worry so much for him? Time caused me to soon forget my qualms about the matter, and I was able to realize why I needed to go to that hospital room everyday.
I no longer cared that he was a boy, or that I was one, too.
I loved Yukimura Seiichi, and I would do anything to see him healthy again.
To Be Continued!
Eheh, well…after a loooong delay, I finally got to write Chapter 2! XD. I've been a bit lazy (again ..) and well, haven't really been checking up on things since Chapter 1 was first posted -. Yes, well, basically a Sanada POV, and some happy flashbacks . Uh..gosh, that was a looong delay T.T (still can't get over it) , and I haven't really been doing anything but…school, anime, etc. Ghei. Okay, hopefully I'll be more diligent next time, and that this chapter is worth something..good? Gah, I hope its not too repetitive /…LOL, Bye!
OH! Yay—Yukimura has Guillan-Barre! Muscle-y problems! Thanks for that information!