Hmm...Not that many reveiws...boohoo...
I know Kisame is one ugly piece of shit, but just pretend he was a handsome lil shark, just for this story okie?
Arigato tonz 4 da reveiws i did get, tis much appreciated!
Disclaimer: Would Masashi Kishimoto approve of having the word 'cock' in his work?
Points Of View - A Big Cock Up
Orochimaru's POV
I looked at my heart-shaped Barbie watch…it said 4.05. Oh No! Was no one else coming to my party!
I dug around in the pretty gift bag from Itachi-kun and Kisame-kun. Ooh! Snake jewellery! I LOVE SNAKE STUFF EVEN MORE THAN BARBIE! Whoo! I put them on and glanced at my guests. Kisame looked like he was enjoying the food, his mouth stretched to almost bigger than mine to fit all the food in! I looked at Itachi…he seems bored…damn it!
Kabuto's POVI growled at Kisame, he was eating EVERYTHING! The crisps, the popcorn, the cute little triangular sandwiches, the mini hotdogs, the mini quiches, the biscuits, the candies, the chocolate covered strawberries…
Itachi's POV
Wow…Kisame was eating A LOT! I watched him feeling slightly bored, where were the other guests?
I watched Kisame move across the table, devouring plates and plates of yummy little snacks, nothing looked really appetising…
My eyes widened animatedly, CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES!
Kabuto's POV
I grinned, Itachi had pushed Kisame out of the way and he tenderly picked up a chocolate strawberry and was licking it. I stared; this scene was making me feel…horny.
OH NO! What am I thinking! I love NO ONE but Orochimaru-sama!
I turned away from Itachi-kun and the chocolate covered strawberries…sucking…licking…Ooh…NO! No more naughty thoughts! I LOVE ONLY OROCHIMARU-SAMA!
I turned to face Orochimaru, he was putting a CD into the sound system at the end of the hall. I'd especially set up some massive speakers for his party. The Barbie album blared out of the speakers and the speakers were so powerful, I could actually feel the sound waves hitting me like a gentle breeze.
Kisame POVI folded my arms; it was about time Itachi started eating! I bet I looked like a right greedy bastard eating the food all by myself! I watched grinning as Itachi savoured eat strawberry that he ate…he was so cute!
Suddenly, loud and I mean LOUD, girly music exploded from the other end of the hall and I looked to see Orochimaru dancing around all psycho like.
I sneered, Orochimaru just couldn't dance, he looked like he was a cross between a bad ballerina and a diseased monkey.
Kabuto however, was watching Orochimaru and cheering with pink hearts in his eyes…one word…Sickening.
"Hey! Maid boy!" I chuckled, "Did you invite anyone else to this little do?"
Kabuto pushed his glasses up his nose and grinned trying to hide his anger…heh…it's fun to take the piss out of little freaks!
"We have invited scores of guests actually!" He said defiantly, "There's Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama, Kakashi-sama, Iruka-sama um…" Kabuto scratched his head marking off his fingers as he spoke, "…um…and there were some other people…but I can not be bothered to tell you."
Itachi's POVYum! Those strawberries were DELICIOUS! I licked my fingers and glanced at the table, two chocolate strawberries left…I snatched up another strawberry, the other guests probably didn't like strawberries as much as I do anyways!
Orochimaru danced his way over to me, I winced, he LOOKED like he was dying.
"Hey…Itachi-kun…wanna…dance?" He asked, wiggling his hips at me.
I smiled, "No…I'm okay, but why don't you dance with Kisame?"
Kisame turned sharply at the mention of his name, "Me!"
I grinned and whispered into Kisame's ear, "C'mon…it'll be a laugh."
Kisame's POVI frowned as Orochimaru grabbed my hand and yanked me side to side doing his so-called dancing. Itachi was killing himself laughing, but Kabuto…heh…looked deadly jealous.
"Oh Kisame-kun! You are a…GREAT…dancer!" Orochimaru squealed, pulling me this way and that.
"Um…Thanks!" I said, watching in glee, as Kabuto turned green with envy then bright red in anger.
Kabuto's POVBASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD! BASTARD!
HE WAS TOUCHING! DANCING! HAVING FUN! WITH MY OROCHIMARU-SAMA!
I frowned…Orochimaru-sama looked like he was having fun too…
Itachi's POV
OMG! I CAN'T BREATHE! I was laughing so damn hard! Kisame was being thrown around like a cute ping-pong ball!
"THAT'S IT!" I heard Kabuto scream.
I turned in surprise and Kabuto grabbed me by the arms and made us dance ballroom style.
"Um…Kabuto…I don't really want to dance…" I said as Kabuto yanked me forwards so that we were chest to chest.
"Heh! This means war!" I heard Kabuto growl and then we were dancing.
I hate dancing…Why? Well for one Kabuto was stepping on my foot about a million times! And the other reason…well let's just say I've got some bad memories…
Kisame's POV
Orochimaru was on a roll and I was caught up in his mad dancing frenzy. I glanced at Itachi…He was dancing? Dancing! I raised an eyebrow, Itachi hadn't danced since that weird incident last year when he was drunk at the Christmas party and did the Macarena naked in front of all the Akatsuki members.
"Oi! Maid! You're a shitty dancer!" I said smirking, as Kabuto bared his teeth at me.
Orochimaru's POV
I was dancing queen! Young and Sweet only seventeen! Oops! I mean fifty odd…heh…
I smiled my party was going so well! But I still wondered where the HELL were my other guests! It was after all 4.20pm now.
I looked at Kisame-kun, he was saying something to Kabuto-kun.
So I looked at Kabuto-kun…he didn't look happy. He was dancing with Itachi…why! He was a crappy dancer…unlike me…and he'd told me before that he didn't like dancing…so why was he dancing with Itachi-kun now?
Itachi's POV
Ow! Stop standing on my foot damn it!
Kabuto was tensing up and squeezing my hands with a horrid death grip, OW! Jeez! Kabuto is a worse dancer than Orochimaru.
Kabuto yelled something to Kisame, sounded like, "You bastard I'll show you!"
I glanced at Kabuto; his face was red and angry, what the hell was going on?
Suddenly, with no warning whatsoever Kabuto leaned forwards and kissed me…my eyes closed…
Kabuto's POVHa! That would piss Kisame off!
I pressed my lips onto the surprised Itachi's and sucked tenderly, my eyes on Kisame the whole time. Kisame's eyes widened in shock and he froze on the spot his mouth gaping open so that I could clearly see his all his fillings.
Heh…take this bastard! I slowly edged my tongue into Itachi's mouth and watched in pleasure as a furious vein pulsated at the top of his head.
Orochimaru's POVOh…My…God…
I froze, m-my Kabuto-kun…he was…he was…
Kisame's POVTHAT LITTLE PIECE OF BASTARDY SHIT!
I clenched my fists; my heart pounded faster and faster preparing my body for a fight.
I AM GOING TO BEAT HIM TO A PULP!
I growled and my breathing got heavy.
BASTARD!
I'M GOING TO RIP HIS DICK OFF AND FEED IT TO THE DOGS!
I lunged forwards; his TONGUE was in MY Itachi's mouth!
BASTARD! GET OFF MY ITACHI!
Itachi's POV
Hmm…This feels good…Kisame was always a great kisser…
My eyes snapped open. OMG! It wasn't Kisame!
I heard Orochimaru wail something that sounded like, "This is the worst birthday ever!"
Then I heard Kisame scream, "YOU BASTARD!"
And then everything else happened in slow motion. I pushed Kabuto away and he fell to the floor. Kisame leapt on him and proceeded to punch him over and over and over…
Orochimaru ran out of the hall crying.
OMG…what the fuck just happened!
Kabuto's POVOw! Heh, Heh! OW! Kisame the bastard shark was really pissed! Oh joy! OW! Heh, heh! OW Damn it! OW!
Kisame's POVBASTARD! Take THIS! And THIS!
I punched furiously, crazily, angrily MWAHAHAHA! FEEL MY WRATH!
Itachi's POVKisame was turning Kabuto into a bloody pulp…Ew…that looks nasty…
"Kisame!" I said worriedly, "You're gonna kill him!"
"Grr! That's what I want!" Kisame growled, continuing the transformation of Kabuto into mincemeat.
I grabbed Kisame and heaved him off Kabuto, he threw in a swift stomp on Kisame's groin…ouch that's definitely got to hurt.
Kabuto's POV"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOW!" I screamed, now it's not funny any more…
Kisame's POVHA! Kabuto you bastard!
Itachi pulled me up and I panted, beating up little freaks is energy draining!
"Kisame…" Itachi said looking softly into my eyes, "Gomen…gomen…gomen…"
I snarled at Kabuto, I think he was whimpering…heh…serves him right!
"Don't worry Itachi-kun!" I said maliciously, "Everything's alright now!"
"No! Gomen! Gomenasai! Oh! Gomen!" Itachi wailed nuzzling his face into my chest.
Oh shit…Itachi's gone into depressive mode again…
Itachi's POV
Suddenly I felt seriously fatigued…kind of the way I felt this morning before Sasuke came to visit.
What the hell is wrong with me! I feel like a huge vacuum cleaner just came by and sucked the happiness out of me…
Ugh…I feel seriously shit…so tired…so miserable…
Kisame looked at me worriedly, I think I was swaying in his arms.
"I…ugh…gomen…" I mumbled, my throat was extremely dry and what…there's two Kisame's?
Damn it…now I'm seeing things…
Kabuto's POV
Ow…OW…OW! As I tried to stand up pain erupted through every part of my body…ESPECIALLY my poor little groin!
I managed to stand up, my glasses were seriously askew, Itachi looked like he was shaking in Kisame's arms. I painfully pushed my glasses back into their usual position…Ow damn it…I think that bastard broke my nose! Hmm…it's not my vision…Itachi-kun really IS shaking.
I looked at my hands…blood…I looked at my sexy maid outfit…blood…I blink…blood was trickling down over my eye.
I sighed and then formed some hand seals…I concentrated chakra to all the painful areas in my body, which is practically everywhere and ESPECIALLY my poor little groin!
TA DA! Kabuto-kun all better! I frowned…no more boo boos…but DAMN IT my outfit is ruined…and Orochimaru-sama loved it so much…
Wait a sec…Orochimaru-sama…Oh shit!
Orochimaru's POV
I ran all the way to my bedroom crying. How could Kabuto kiss ANOTHER MAN! I thought he loved me?
This was the shittiest birthday ever…I felt so miserable…so depressed…
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! My special day is RUINED!
I threw myself onto my king-size Barbie print duvet bed and turned the water works on full blast. Everyone must hate me! Last year no one turned up…this year someone turns up, but they snog MY KABUTO!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I hate myself! HATE! HATE! HATE! HUGE MISERABLE ANGST!
I pulled the bobbles harshly out of my hair and threw them on the floor, and then I pulled all the jewellery off and flung them on the floor too. LIFE SUCKS!
Kisame's POVDamn it! That Kabuto bastard healed himself! Grr! What a waste of my energy!
Oh no…Itachi…he's going all depressed and weak…damn it this is all Kabuto bastards fault!
Kabuto's POV Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!What have I done? Poor Orochimaru-sama!
I ran to Orochimaru's room and was greeted by the usual girlie pink Barbie wallpaper…but Orochimaru…he wasn't there!
Orochimaru! Oh no! Where are you!
Iruka's POVI arrived at Orochimaru's place at 4.40pm. I knew I was kind of late and I felt bad about it, but it was all Naruto's fault! He made me buy him ramen and then I totally forgot what time it was!
I entered the hall, some cute girly pop music was booming out of the speakers, interesting…hmm…
Huh? Kisame is cradling a shaky Itachi, there's a puddle of blood in the middle of the room…
OMG! What the hell happened here!
I dropped my presents for Orochimaru, it shattered in the gift box…I frowned, damn it that was a really pretty Barbie glass ornament too!
"Um…excuse me…what happened?" I asked Kisame.
"Oh piss off!" Kisame screamed at me and then whispered to Itachi, "Are you okay? E-Everything's fine…Come on Itachi-kun..."
I sweat dropped and then went to look for the birthday boy.
Orochimaru's POVI didn't want to see my happy Barbie room, I wanted to go somewhere depressing to match my mood. I ran down the corridor towards the dungeons…yes…it would be extremely dark in there and as a bonus there were many wonderful little torture devices too!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I still can't believe all this shit happened on MY birthday!
I ran sobbing down the stupid corridor, when something stupid ran into ME. I stopped in my tracks and sniffled.
Kabuto's POVI ran through the corridors desperately searching for Orochimaru-sama. Poor, poor Orochimaru-sama!
I mentally kicked myself, over and over, how could I have been so stupid to upset Orochimaru-sama just for a chance to piss that bastard Kisame off!
It's really hard to run in high heels if you must know. Damn rock solid hard! I was hobbling clumsily about shouting, "Orochimaru-sama?" when I bumped into something really HARD.
Iruka's POV"Ouch!" I said as Orochimaru absentmindedly head butted me in the chest. He was looking down and crying, so I guess that's why he didn't see me.
"Um…Orochimaru?" I said softly, patting him on the back, "Are you okay? What happened?"
Orochimaru looked at me, his eyes were hugely puffy and red, his hair looked kind of messed up too.
"Oh Iruka-kun!" He wailed, hugging me so tight I couldn't breathe, "It's horrible! HORRIBLE!"
I grimaced as he wiped his snot and tears on my shirt…it was my favourite shirt as well…the yellow one that said 'Yay! Sunshine!' on it.
I sighed, "What happened?"
Orochimaru squeezed me even harder and I seriously couldn't breathe then!
"Oh Kabuto-kun h-he…"
"He wh-what?" I croaked, Orochimaru was crushing my ribs with his deadly hug.
"He kissed Itachi!" Orochimaru wailed and then fell down to his knees bawling harder than ever.
Relieved that he'd let go of me I kneeled down to comfort the poor guy.
Kisame's POV"Itachi…Itachi please…" I whispered urgently, "It's okay…it wasn't you're fault…"
Itachi looked up at me, he was looking ill now.
"Really? Y-You forgive me?"
"Of course!" I said kissing Itachi on the cheek.
Perhaps this stress attack stuff was inherited? After all, his brother Sasuke would also act this way when upset or worried. Like the time when Itachi announced to his brother that he was gay, whoa boy, Sasuke flipped and went on super depressed vibrating mode. But then again…Sasuke always appears depressed these days…so who knows…maybe he's still not got over Itachi being gay?
Itachi's POVI felt great weights being lifted off my shoulders…my stress out was over…
"I love you." I said softly, nuzzling my face into Kisame's neck.
"I love you too." Kisame replied, pulling my face up for a passionate kiss.
Hmm…Yep…Kisame was the greatest kisser…
Kakashi's POVDamn it, that hurt! Kabuto the little prick dressed up in God knows what just went flying into me! I frowned Kabuto was dressed up like a girl…weird…
"What's happening?" I asked.
"All hell has been let loose!" Kabuto yelled, pushing his glasses up.
"Really?" I said feeling rather amused.
I came to the so-called party fashionably late and saw Itachi and Kisame in some sort of kissing embrace, so didn't want to disturb them. Then I wandered into the corridor and get a little freakishly dressed punk flying into me.
"So...um…what exactly happened?" I asked, running my fingers through my hair…I had a girlie pop song stuck in my head from when I came in…damn it's irritating!
Kabuto explained something about kissing Itachi…I dunno…I wasn't really paying that much attention you see…
Kabuto's POVDamn this dozy jounin! I don't think he was listening to anything I was saying! All I could see was his one exposed eye, looking me up and down in an amused way and his mind seemed to be filled with some musical tune or something.
"Are you bloody listening!" I asked angrily, as Kakashi had the nerve to yawn.
"Yeah, sure."
I snarled and then turned away, "Fuck you! I have to find poor Orochimaru-sama!"
I ran around everywhere looking for him, but he wasn't anywhere I looked…DAMN IT!
Kakashi's POVKabuto ran off mumbling something, so I thought I'd go home…after all this party seemed kind of messed up.
However, just as I pulled 'Icha Icha Paradise' out to read and was walking back towards the hall…there was an explosion.
Oh shit… Kabuto came flying towards me and we both flew painfully into a wall. Ouch!
End Of Chapter
Ahh...another end boo...next chappie, i will update as soon as i can, have lots of shitty college work to do Argh!
Um...but if you like this story then feel free to check out my other fanfics, a few more have been dedicated to Itachi and Kisame from evil hypnotic influence of my lil Itachi loving sista!
Please please please reveiw, it's the only way i'll know if anyone likes my fanfic or not.
Arigatou! Ja ne!