Chapter 3

(Tohma POV)

"An open mind sees the world reflected within themselves, but a closed mind looks for the world to be their reflection."

It was the day after the car accident, I was at home and it seemed as if Shuichi-kun had a doctors note saying he wasn't allowed to work for a good week. Then he'd be allowed to at lest sing without hurt himself.

I sighed as I sat up, I looked around my room, the bed I had was way to big for just one person. I really didn't love Mika but… I missed having someone to hold when I was cold. Yes I never really loved her, it was something of an arranged marriage that I had no care for.

Back when I was a child the only person I wanted to be with was Eiri. I loved him greatly, but now, at this point and time. For some unexplainable reason… I loved Shuichi-kun. Why? I really have no clue. Maybe it was for the same reason that… at least I think… Eiri did. Truthfully I don't think Eiri really loves Shuichi-kun. Then again.. that's just what I think… it really means nothing.

I slowly got out of bed I wasn't sure what I was going to do today, Ryuichi was also on doctors recommendation to stay home and recover and I hadn't been to my office since I'd locked myself in there for days on end. I only came out when Yuki told me that the funeral was going to be soon.

Normally I wouldn't drink but… when I was locked up in there alone I must have gone through enough alcohol to kill most of my good brain cells, if I didn't have a high alcohol tolerance I'd have most likely started getting delusional.

I went to my bathroom and turned on the shower, I guess I'd decided that I was going to NG today. Damn it had been a long time, but that's what I get.

I got into the shower after taking off my clothes and let the water run down my back waking me up fully. I was thankful that I didn't need to go through therapy after my attempt to kill myself. Apparently, Shuichi, Ryuichi, and Eiri had all told the doctor that if I went into therapy I'd probably really kill myself.

Truthfully now, I had no desire to do so, it must have been Shuichi-kun. Somehow, the way he said what Eiri had said before him hit me a lot harder then when Eiri said it… I know its confusing but that's what I feel that happened. He just had a bit more of an impact.

After I washed my hair and turned off the water I grabbed two towels, one I wrapped around my waist the other I put on my head. I started to work through my hair drying it when my cell-phone phone rang.

"Moshi-moshi?" I said picking it up.

"Moshi-moshi Tohma-kun!" Shuichi's voice blasted through the phone, I, by instinct, held the phone at arms length so I could save my ears.

"Shuichi-kun, how are you?" I asked slowly bringing the phone closer but not that close.

"I'm fine! Hey I was wondering if your going to go to NG today?" he asked more quietly then he'd greeted me with.

"Yes," I told him," I'm getting ready to go right now."

"Could you pick me up? I know that the doctor said I should stay home but I can't. I really want to go to work today!" he said sounding extremely hyper.

"Of course." I said, I was inwardly thrilled I really wanted to talk to Shuichi alone.

"Okay, I'm at Hiro's place!" Shuichi said, I raised an eye brow.

"Why are you there?" I asked, I was puzzled, did Eiri kick him out again?

"I was going to get a ride from Hiro but he's already gone!" Shuichi said," And I would have asked Yuki but he would have said the doctor told me to stay home but I don't wanna!"

"Alright, alright, I'll be there in about thirty minutes." I said he said he wait and I started to get ready a bit faster then I had been getting ready.

I was out the door fifteen minutes later, a lot sooner then I'd anticipated. I set the alarm and locked the door then I got in my car and was off. The drive was quick because I was at Hiro's in about five minutes," I a bit early but I don't think you'd complain would you?"

He smirked and said," Of course I'm mad! You're early you said thirty minutes and you were here in twenty! Your supposed to show up on time!" he played as he got in the car.

I laughed as he shut the door and put on a seatbelt. When I heard the click of it locking I stepped on the peddle. As I eased the car into the street again I was careful to look all around. I didn't need to get Shuichi-kun into another accident. Eiri would kill me if I did, he probably already kill me for taking Shuichi-kun to work when he was supposed to stay home.

"Ano…Tohma-kun?" Shuichi asked.

"Hm?" I sounded telling him I was listening.

"You wouldn't tell Yuki about the thing at the temple would you?" he asked nervously. I knew he meant the kiss we had shared. I had really no clue that was going to happen but I guess I needed to feel loved somehow.

"I don't know what your talking about." I said winking.

"Right." 'He actually understood me? how odd, oh well at least he knows I won't tell Eiri.' I thought as we started to come up to the NG building.

"Well are you going to need a ride back home too…or are you going to ride with Nakano-kun?" I asked," I don't think riding a motorcycle is good for your arm." I was trying to get him to come with me, I really did think that his arm would get worse if he rode with Nakano-kun.

"Really?" he said," Sure I'll ride with you!" he said almost jumping with joy.

I smiled… a real smile, it'd been a while since I'd done that. It felt… nice to smile like that again. The last time I'd smiled for real was the day before Eiri shoot Yuki… I'll never forget the look on Eiri's face when I opened the door. So much fear, so much regret. My thoughts must have shown on my face because Shuichi tapped my shoulder," Is something wrong Tohma-kun?" he asked.

I smiled and shook my head, I was telling the truth, there was nothing wrong I was just thinking of the past…. Or is that something wrong? I don't know anymore.

I pulled the car into the parking lot under the building. When I stopped the car I let my head fall to the stirring-wheel. Shuichi, I guess, looked at me alarmed because he instantly asked if I was alright.

"Ne, I'm fine." I said I told the truth again there wasn't anything wrong with me the past just kind of still hit me pretty hard.

"Are you sure?" he asked, I looked at him, his face was painted with worry. I vaguely wondered if he ever worried that much about Eiri or if he had worried that much for me when he found me trying to kill myself.

"Yes." I smiled falsely while I looked at him. I really felt guilty that I tried to take my life without thinking of others. Without thinking how'd they feel about it.

Something fell to my lap, my eyes were burning, was I… crying? Yah I guess I was, I didn't want to cry with Shuichi-kun there but, it just came.

"Tohma-kun?" Shuichi put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't want him to see me crying.

"Don't mind me." I said, it was evident I was lying I guess because he stared at me for a minute. I tried to hide my face from him but he made me look at him. I would have never guessed that Shuichi could be all that demanding.

"Tell me what's wrong…please?" he asked me, not childishly but maturely, something I sadly have to say, that I'd never expect from him.

"It doesn't have anything to do with you or Mika, just…" I paused," The past."

"Oh." He said, he then hugged me," Don't worry about the past. All its going to do is drive you to insanity. Like I almost do to Yuki everyday!" he looked at me and smiled.

I couldn't help but smile in return, I thought it was a bit entertaining that he'd say he tries to drive Yuki mad," You are right, but I still have a few things I must work out and some of those things require me to think about the past."

"Like?" Shuichi asked," Come on you can tell me!"

"Can I now?" I raised an eye brow to him.

"Hai!" he squeaked.

"I'm sorry but I don't think that would be a good idea," I said," I know you wouldn't tell anyone so don't take it that way but… I don't want to involve you in any…potentially…social brake downs." He was confused at was really obvious, he had the oddest look on his face. I chuckled a bit then said," Don't worry about it so much."

"If you say so." Shuichi said," Well we'd better get on up there!" he then turned to open the door, but I quickly grabbed his shoulder.

He turned to me with a "what is it?" expression all over his face, I closed my eyes for a second then opened them," Thank you." I couldn't do it, I had planed to kiss him but I couldn't. While I was cursing my own coward-ness Shuichi-kun had gotten much closer to my face. When I noticed, he was kissing me. It just about shocked me as much as when he had kissed me at the temple.

I bet of Eiri were to see us, he'd kill one or both of us, if he'd ever found out about this, Shuichi-kun would be on the street heading to Hiro's house…or would he? I made a vow right then and there that if Shuichi-kun ever had Eiri kick him out again. I'd be there to take Shuichi in, and make sure he was never hurt again.

When we broke he smiled and got out of the car and started to head for the elevator, I began to pray,' Mika please, don't be mad if I've fallen for Shindou-san. Just let me keep him safe if Eiri were ever to hurt him in anyway.'

I then got out of my car and turned on the alarm. As I walked over to the elevator I was surprised to see that Shuichi had held it for me.

"Come on Tohma-kun!" he said as he waved for me to hurry. I quickly got into the elevator and he pushed the button to go up," Tohma-kun?"

"Hai?" I looked at him.

"Would you ever tell Yuki about me kissing you?" he asked me, I wasn't too surprised about the question.

"Iie." I said," what happens between you and me, stays between you and me and who ever else you tell."

"Me?" Shuichi looked at me confused.

"You can tell whom ever you like, I won't tell a soul." I said.

He stared at me a minute then smiled," Ok then." The elevator then stopped at his floor and he got out," I'll see you after work right?"

"Hai." I said giving him a real smile.

"Okay then! Ja ne!" he said as the doors shut. I leaned on the wall of the elevator and sighed," Now, just to get through the day."

When the doors slid open and I started towards my office then push open the doors. I slowly shut it and proceeded to my desk. When I sat I started to sluggishly pulled myself to my desk, then opened the drawer to the right of me and pulled out a bottle of Ever Clear, pure grain alcohol, and a shot glass. I poured it to the brim and then downed it. Now remember I don't drink much normally so when the liquor hit the back of my trout I got a very nice buzz. I was hoping to get wasted and sit in my office counting the ceiling tiles and then turn around and count the number of windows on the skyscraper across the way. But no…that damn Sakano just had to pound on my door. Sometimes I regret making him a producer.

"Seguchi-sama!" Sakano screeched as he blasted into my office. I had to plug my ears because he was so damn loud.

"What is it?" I snapped, I then gathered myself and took a deep breath," What is it you need help with?"

"Seguchi-sama it's Shindou-kun!" Sakano said loudly. I was instantly alarmed, 'Did he hurt himself?'

"What happened?" I asked I feared that the genki singer had hurt himself.

"He came to work! The doctor said that Shindou-kun was to stay home and recover." Sakano said.

I sighed as I leaned back in my chair," Shut up if you want to keep your job." I snapped getting him to shut up," Sakano-san I brought Shuichi-kun to work. He called and asked me to take him and I did. If you have a objection to that send him up here for the day. Now unless you have anything other to bother me with I would like to continue drinking so I can get drunk." I said showing him my oh so lovely bottle of Ever Clear.

"I see." Sakano said bowing and leaving.

Moments later there was a knock on my door. I sighed, aggravated, and said for the person to come in. After I got done putting away my Ever Clear I looked up into amethyst eyes," Sakano-san sent you up here didn't he?"

Shuichi-kun nodded as he looked around my office," He said that I need to spend the day up here and if I come to work tomorrow he'll just call Yuki or he'll send me here again…Hiro forced me to come up here too."

"Ah…so it was a team effort?" I playfully asked.

"Fujisaki helped them to so yah…" Shuichi laughed scratching the back of his head.

"Well care to join me in a little drinking contest?" I asked, I was really in the mood to drink and if I had a contest with the boy I might drink more then what I had initially planed.

"What do you have?" he asked sitting in front of my desk.

"Ever Clear." I said as I pulled out my glass the bottle and a new glass.

"Sounds good." Shuichi said," How about a drinking contest?"

"What would the be the winners prize?" I asked him, while pouring a glass for him and myself.

"I dunno…" Shuichi said taking the glass I offered him," We can…well try, and think of that when we get to it."

I laughed a bit, I often can someone who's drunk get his thoughts straight? Not anyone I've known, if there is a person like that I'd like to meet them," Sounds like a plan." I said raising my glass," Cheers." Shuichi nodded then both he and I drained the glass and then I poured another.

About two hours later we were still hammering them down just not as quickly as I would have guessed, not that I was thinking all that much at the point and time.

"I think…" Shuichi said, I thought he was holding quiet well," We need another bottle."

"Ah…" My speech was so slurred I didn't know if I had made sense or not," Your right."

I got up, stumbling a bit, and walked over to the book shelf. I picked out a rather large book and opened it reveling another bottle of alcohol this time it was whisky but it was still something to keep our buzzes going.

"Is that what you did the whole time in here?" Shuichi asked quiet soberly behind me, still sitting in the chair," When you locked yourself in here, was drinking all you did?"

"Yes." I said trying to match the soberness in his voice," That and count the tiles and windows, did you know that there are two-hundred and fifty-six in the ceiling in this room, and on the building over there there's about nine hundred?"

"I did not know that," the slur came back," So what do you have this time?"

"Whisky." I said.

"Awesome." He said as he took the bottle from me and started to down it. I stood there for a minute watching him as he drank the whole thing, it was full bottle too.

"Shuichi-kun I had no idea you drank so much." I said sitting down, it was about time I stop drinking anyway. If I was going to be driving us home I needed to be sober, that way the police don't pull me over and arrest me. I don't think the media would make it sound like it was a good thing. I lead my head back and pinched the bridge of my nose as I could feel a headache approaching.

"Normally, I don't drink this much but," he swung the half empty bottle around," today I just feel like it. Hell I never drank this much even when Yuki kicked me out."

It surprised me that he said that, I stared at him for a minute then I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the ceiling, my head was starting to swim a bit but I knew if I took an aspirin or two I'd feel better till I got home at least. I was in deep thought for a while, I didn't even notice Shuichi-kun finish off the bottle, and get up about to fall over if even someone lightly breathed on him. However, I did notice when he climbed into my lap and started to play with my hair.

"Shuichi-kun what are you doing?" I asked him looking down as he pulled off my hat.

"Playing around." Shuichi stated his speech was badly indistinct and his actions seemed to be slowed. I think it finally hit me how drunk he was when he began to nibble on my neck.

"Shuichi-kun!" I said loudly grabbing his writs and bringing him to my eye level causing him to stop "playing around" with my neck," You can't do that." I didn't notice that I was breathing a bit deeply.

"Why not?" he pouted as I let go of his writs and he folded his arms.

"You love Eiri-kun and its not right for you to do that to me when you still have him." I told him, I wished it wasn't true but it was.

"Yuki never has time anymore," Shuichi wined," We never get to da anything anymore."

"Then you should talk to him about it." I said as I tried to get up but Shuichi refused to get off my lap.

"He always calls me a "damn brat" and kicks me out of his office before I can even say a thing." Shuichi said as he threw his arms around my neck," Its like, I love him but…he doesn't love me."

"Don't say things like that Shuichi." I said, inwardly I winced,' I think I'd better get Shuichi-kun home mow, it is six o'clock.' I thought looking up at the clock," Shuichi-kun how would you like a piggyback ride?"

"Okay!" he said as he got off me at last. I got up and turned my toward him. He jumped on quickly and I grabbed his legs so he wouldn't fall off, I began toward then door when it opened up suddenly and Nakano-kun was standing there.

"Konbanwa Nakano-kun." I said to the red headed guitarist," I'll be driving Shuichi-kun home don't worry about him."

"Oh alright," he said," Sorry about barging in sir, I just didn't hear Shuichi-kun saying anything and thought well…"

"I understand." I told him," Don't worry, he just had a bit to much to drink." I faintly felt him fall asleep as he rested his head on my back," I'll get him home alright?"

"Uh, yah!" he said," well then let me help you get him into your car sir."

"Arigatou." I said as we left my office.

As soon as we got Shuichi-kun in the car Nakano-kun got a call from his girlfriend, Eiri' ex, and had to leave quickly. I bid him a farewell and got in my car, I turned it on and began to drive out.

We quickly made it to Eiri's, I woke Shuichi-kun up as best I could but he still seemed to be out of it quiet a bit, so I helped him out of the car. I put his arm over my shoulder and began to walk him up the walk way when the door opened.

Eiri stood there looking nether mad nor glad to see the genki pop singer," Konbanwa Eiri-kun." I said as we got closer.

"Did you find him at a bar or did he go to work?" Eiri asked coldly.

"I took him to work Eiri-kun, he asked me to take him so I did." I said," I thought it might be better that he got out rather then stay inside all day."

"It looks to me he was still inside a building all day." Eiri said reaching over and taking Shuichi-kun.

"Ah, touché." I said defeated," I take it you'll be keeping him home tomorrow?" I asked.

"That's right." He said picking up Shuichi bridle style," See you tomorrow or something, Tohma."

"O-yasumi nasai, Shuichi-kun, and you too Eiri." I said as I walked back to my car," I wonder how sober Shuichi-kun is now?" I asked myself getting in and putting my index finder in my chin. I took it away and looked back at the door to the building with a side glance. I then shrugged and turned on the car, then started on my way home. My bed was calling for me.

TBC

Well I finally got this chapter done! Yay! lol I'm just kidding with you…uh…that made no sense… oh well. Well I recently got a review that (to me) seemed between a flame and a (good job) review, you guys know you can all read it if you look at past reviews. Well I understood what the person said, I know I get some spelling mistakes in there or, the words spelt right but it may not be the right word. Heh I do that often and I'm sorry about that. Thank you all for reviewing and so on I really appreciate it. I think in this story I'm going to be just a but AU and make Tohma about Eiri's age, but I don't think it really matters… Tohma is just so cute! You wouldn't think of him as someone in his early thirties, well that's about all I have to say for now! See you in either another story or the next chapter!

Ja ne

-Kaiyuku Akari