Words left unspoken

I am in such a good mood that I decided to be nice and update quickly I'm so happy! I got three A's, four B's and three C's! I didn't fail anything! I can get on my college courses! happy dance So here's an update! And honestly, did you really think I'd kill Gippal? Well…not permanently anyway. You'll see what I mean when you read

Thanks to Mary78 and skirty embroidery for the grammer lesson I will put a character in based on each of you. Tell me what names you would like me to use though and gender.

Shock of recovery

Let me give you a little lesson in life now that my own seems to be over. You never know how much you need something until you've actually lost it. I know what you're thinking, everyone says that. Well maybe if people actually listen they wouldn't say it so much! Trust me, you'll do well if you listen.

Don't get me wrong I already knew I'd miss you Rikku, but even then I didn't realise just how much. I hadn't thought it was even possible to miss someone like I missed you. During the time I was hiding in the desert from the temples was the worse. I didn't have a lot to do but dwell on what we once had. Before that, in the Crimson Squad I was usually distracted from the heartache.

No one ever knew about how I was feeling deep down. Only once had they come close to the forbidden subject in a 'casual' conversation I'd started to figure out whether Baralai had some girl back in Bevelle. What? I was trying to get him and Paine fixed up together, although it seems they've done it on their own now. But anyway, I didn't think he'd ask me if I had a girl waiting. Thankfully my brilliant acting fooled them, hinting that I was some kind of male slut. At least Nooj totally bought it, the look on his face!

Only at night did it show, when all others weren't around. I would sit there and just feel so numb. I missed you so much, so very much. But at least then it was only heartache and loneliness, I didn't feel that feeling of being unaccepted as much. I was too distracted with the thought of you and what a jackass I was to hurt you.

But then when I saw you lying there after the machina was defeated I felt it all again at the same time. The loneliness, the emptiness and that awful feeling of being unaccepted. You looked dead, and if that's true I could never be happy again. I could never feel whole, never feel alive.

If that's the case, I hope I am dead. Because there's no point in being in Spira when you can't light up the day. There's just no point in living when no purpose for it remains. Damn, I guess I really am just as bad as Nooj.

The man yelled out in open rage causing a shiver to run through the forest. His anger was so strong it sent a shockwave through the environment causing it to fade more.

"I will not let him ruin me again!" He seethed, slowly calming down as he took deep breaths. "Never mind. So he's passed the practice round but once my other babies are finished none of them will be able to live through the attacks. Not him, not the girl, not even Cid!" The man grinned happily beginning to head away from the spring and to the other part of the forest another creation of his lay waiting. "Not even Cid."

For so long he had been only aware of endless darkness. Now he was beginning to feel a dull pain, one he knew should be more but was glad he couldn't feel. Guess that means he was alive after all.

Disappointed? Part of him asked. With Rikku dead what's the point in being alive?

No, Rikku can't be dead. He muttered feeling an aching in his heart.

"Hey Lu, I think he's waking up ya?"

Of course she can be, and it's your fault. He accused at himself, First you break her heart now you kill her, you failed to protect her!

I tried, please forgive me Rikku.

She can't, she's dead!

She can't be dead!

"Hey buddy, wake up ya? Everyone's getting worried." Who was that? What was going on.

Rikku? A laugh followed his question and he suddenly felt the dull pain increase a little. He could feel his body again, feel his heavy eyelid. He tried to use some energy he didn't have to open it. He managed to make it flicker.

"Talk about a one track mind ya. Rikku's fine brudda, been up and about for couple o' hours now." Gippal forced his eye open and gazed around him trying to make sense of his blurry vision. He waited a few minutes while closing and opening his eye a lot before he was able to see around him properly. He seemed to be in some sort of hut, or maybe a large tent. A man who looked as if his head was on fire stood nearby with a woman cradling a baby next to him. She looked kind of scary.

"Huh?" Gippal asked trying to sit up, bad idea. "Uh my head."

"Careful there kiddo. You took quite a beatin' you need more rest." The fire hair man said. "I'm Wakka, this is my wife Lu and my son Vidina. You're in Besaid village, some of your men brought you here after they found you on the beach." Gippal was having trouble sorting through all this information so soon after being nearly fried to death.

"You named your kid future? I heard you hated the Al Bhed." Wakka looked slightly embarrassed by this.

"Not anymore, I was stupid back then. I know you're people like the rest of us. You should get more rest, or maybe eat something. You look kinda skinny to me."

"Where's Rikku? Is she okay?" Gippal asked trying to sit up again and being shoved back down. The pain should have been awful, but it wasn't. What was going on? He didn't even feel scared about what just happened.

"She's fine, better than you. She just needed healing and some rest. She'll be a bit stiff and achy for a few days but good to move about. Apparently when they found you two you were dead."

"Huh?" Again he didn't feel too shocked by the news, he guessed he must be having a delayed reaction. Great. It was the first time he had felt being calm was a bad thing.

"Your heart had stopped, something about being electrocuted. They had to start your heart again with a thunder spell." Wakka told him waving a hand in front of his nose while he talked. What an odd person.

"Can I see her?" Wakka frowned at him then, obviously having expected something more than asking for Rikku after explaining to Gippal he'd just died.

"Ya, I'll go get her. Lu, will you watch him?"

"Sure Wakka." She said with a warm smile. Gippal attempted to show a smile of appreciation but for some reason he just didn't see the point. He watched as Wakka left to find his girl, feeling indifferent. Something was definitely weird.

"How are you feeling?" The woman named Lu asked. She cradled her son close and Gippal heard him giggle happily.

"Fine, strangely enough." He said calmly. "I thought I'd be a bit more, well, shocked."

"I think that's the problem, you're already so shocked."

"Huh?"

"I've seen it happen before after encounters with Sin." She explained. "People who should be terrified are completely calm, they don't feel the pain they should be in. They go in a state of shock and block out the emotions as if it were happened to someone else."

"That sounds like the case here. I take it it's not good."

"Many people can die from it after they snap out of the shock. Let's just hope that's not the case here." She said with a smile while placing her kid in a cot. Gippal shifted a little so he could see better.

"Can I have a look?" He asked pointing to the baby. The older woman just smiled and picked Vidina up bringing him closer to the bed. "He's cute."

"Thanks." She said carefully placing the baby on his chest who then giggled again. Gippal would of smiled if he was in his normal state of mind.

"Rao get." (Hey kid) He muttered watching as a tiny hand was placed in his. It was only then he noticed how red and sore his own hands seemed to be. Must be what you get trying to remove part of a machina when it was still active. "Oui muug mega y vidina maytan du sa." (You look like a future leader to me) He told him knowing this little guy was definitely going to grow on him when he was out of his shock.

Lulu watched him as he played with the baby and smiled. She hoped Rikku knew just how lucky she'd be if she actually claimed the Al Bhed leader as her own. They seemed to be meant for each other. Hopefully Wakka would be back soon with her, she had a feeling it was Rikku who'd help him through this trauma caused by the attack. Even through shock he was concerned for her, that had to be some hint of his feelings for the Al Bhed girl. Lulu grinned and laughed slightly. It was funny how so many people avoided their true feelings, she had done it herself years ago. And now she was so happy, hopefully these two would end the same way.

Rikku stood on the mini cliff over the water that was on the turn just before the beach. She hadn't been able to bring herself to go there yet. Not after she heard Gippal had died there. Actually died, as in his heart stopped and his life force had left him. She had felt such an overwhelming feeling when she heard that, a bit like the one she'd felt when her mother died. It was the worst feeling and she'd never wanted to feel it again. Yet it had returned. Why had this happened? Why Gippal? He'd just come to save her and he'd died! If his crew hadn't been there he could have remained dead…

"Stop thinking about it!" She yelled stamping her foot. "He's gonna be fine. He'll wake up soon, that's what everyone says so it will happen!"

"Rikku?" A voice asked behind her. She turned to see Yuna standing there with a smile on her face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Yunie!" She said putting on a smile and dancing about. Yuuna wasn't convinced.

"You haven't been to the beach yet and you've been up for four hours. Are you still shaky about what happened?"

"Nah, the battle thing I'm used to already." She said turning to gaze at the water below.

"But what about Gippal? When they told you his heart had stopped you looked so scared and pale." Rikku didn't dare turn around to face her.

"It's just scary you know? The fact that someone has actuually died ina battle when i always thought they were more fun than anything else. And...the fact he died when I was sleeping, i wasn't even awake, i didn't even realise what happened. It felt…wrong. I felt like I should have realised, I should have felt something when his heart stopped." She wiped away stray tears feeling ashamed. How could she cry like this? She was suppose to be the happy cheerful one who kept it together. She had made sure she was that person since the day her heart got broken by Gippal. Now here she was crying over him again!

"You couldn't have known Rikku, you where unconscious and close to death yourself. You couldn't have known." She said kindly placing reassuring hand on her cousin's shoulders. Rikku still stubbornly fought back her tears.

"Maybe not, but…Do you know that time in Luca when we were talking about dreams?"

"Yes." Yuna said with a smile on her face.

They had finally caught up with Yuna after she'd been running around the whole of Luca while asking if anyone else could 'see it?' Paine was the first one to speak after they found her at the dock.

"What's with you?" She said standing in her normal pose.

"A dream, I think." Yuna told them shakily. "My heart won't stop pounding!"

"That's not a dream." Rikku spoke up while walking up the plank onto the docked ship. "Not if your hearts pounding like that." She jumped off the ship and stood next to her cousin with a smile on her face. "You and someone you care about are connected somehow. That's what it is!"

"How worldly." Paine said with some amusement in her voice. Rikku put both hands on the back of her head and turned her back towards them.

"I've felt that way, too."

"About who?" Paine asked not able to hide her interest.

"I dunno." Rikku said playfully.

"Spill it." Paine commanded.

"Maybe we can trade secrets." Rikku shot back.

"You drive a hard bargain."

"You know I told you about when your heart quickens and you know you have a connection with someone because of it? Well, that person I had it with was Gippal, a long time ago. Even though we're not like that anymore I thought we would still have the connection. But today showed me we don't. We're not connected anymore. I know it sounds stupid but…"

"No Rikku." Her cousin said firmly making her turn to face her. "I can understand that. I felt the same way when Tidus was gone. But you know…even if you think it's gone you could be surprised." She said with a knowing grin.

"What do you mean?" Rikku asked with hands on hips. Luckily for Yuna Wakka came up panting and puffing. "Geez tubby you're getting too old for exercising!" Rikku said while dancing about. Wakka looked at her seriously which made her stop instantly.

"Your boyfriend's awake." He said between huffs, Rikku didn't bother correcting him. "But he seems a bit off ya..?" She didn't need to listen to any more, she just took off as fast as she could towards the village with Yuna behind her.

Lance had called back Team Two to Djose once he'd gotten the report that the machina was defeated. Team One and half of Team Four accompanied them on the ship, bringing back the machina parts. Lance watched them unload and tried not to think about what he'd been told. Gippal, someone he had thought of as a son for twelve years, had died. Maybe not permanently but he had died fighting the machina.

It had been like that day all over again. Not only the day Gippal had lost his eye, but also when he'd been thirteen. Those few weeks had been so terrifying for Lance, he had thought he'd lose his son. And today he'd felt that loss again. Now however he was feeling more angry than anything else, why did Gippal insist in putting him through this all the time?

"Nabund!" (Report) He yelled as the men exited the ship. They looked at him briefly and knew not to kid about like they would do sometimes with Gippal. Lance was a much more of an authority figure and they knew not to test that.

"Frah fa mavd dra jemmyka caasat du pa ugyo ykyeh. Ymm uv druca ehzinat ryt sucdmo nalujanat aqlabd Gippal fru fyc cdemm ihluhcleuic. Fa ryja pakih yhymocehk dra nasyehc uv dra machina pid ryjah'd teclujanat yodrehk icavim. Rufajan ed caasc dra syeh luna fyc tacduoat, ymuhk fedr dra bnuknyssehk lreb frelr fuimt uv paah jano icavim du ic." (When we left the village seemed to be okay again. All of those injured had mostly recovered except Gippal who was still unconscious. We have begun analysing the remains of the machina but haven't discovered anything useful. However it seems the main core was destoyed, along with the programming chip which would of been very useful to us.) Lance nodded slightly after hearing this.

"What about Gippal?" He asked in common due to his reluctance to hear the answer. However the Al Bhed in charge of Team Two could understand the question.

"We don't know. The recovery team and some mages from the village healed his physical wounds but there's no telling what effect the shock had on his mind. He'll be in a lot of pain when he wakes up, but if he can live through that then he should be okay." The man laid a reassuring hand on Lance's shoulder, knowing all too well that Gippal was family to him, hell, he was family to them all in a way. Even if he was annoying and if they complained about him a lot.

"Have Team One check the ship over." Lance said firmly to him. "I'm going to Besaid."

Rikku came to a stop outside Wakka's and Lulu's tent. Lulu was standing waiting for her with a serious look on her face. Rikku felt her heart quicken even more at the look.

"What's wrong? Is he okay?" She asked with panic in her voice. Yuna had caught up and tried to give a reassuring look, however it was lost to Rikku as she stood waiting for an answer. She was too scared to go in herself, too afraid of what she might find. "He's not dead is he?" She was shaking all over now at the thought, it could have happened between Wakka leaving and her getting here. Why had she left him?

"Rikku calm down!" Lulu told her firmly while shaking her a little. Rikku blinked at her a few times before slowly nodding her head. "He's not dead. He's very much alive. You got that?" Rikku nodded not daring to open her mouth. "Good. Now listen. He needs to see you Rikku, you need to help him."

"Why? What's wrong?" She burst but stopped before she began babbling due to Lulu's death glare.

"He's in shock Rikku. And despite how it would look I don't think its from being electrocuted or from the shock of the attack. I think its because of what happened to you."

"Me?" Rikku squeaked. "But he's the one that died."

"You said you were unconscious before the machina had been destroyed which means he must have seen you that way. Considering the fact that you are seen as so strong from defeating Sin and Vegnagun he could have been shocked that you can be so vulnerable. And if he has strong…feelings for you it could have caused more pain than his actual injuries."

"What?" Rikku half laughed. "Gippal have strong feelings for me? I don't think so."

"All I know is that since he woke up he keeps asking whether you are okay and if he can see you to make sure. Go see him and we'll find out if you can snap him out of the shock, but be careful. If it becomes too much it could kill him." Rikku swallowed and nodded before heading into the tent.

"Hey Cid's girl." Came an emotionless greeting, Gippal lay on the bed with Vidina asleep across his stomach. For a moment Rikku had thought she'd seen a smile before it had disappeared. Rikku smiled at him before claiming the baby and passing him to Lulu outside. "So…are you really here?"

"Huh?" Rikku asked turning back to look at his anxious face. He seemed to wince slightly in pain.

"I saw you on the beach and you looked so pale and still. I thought you were dead, so am I dead or are you just not really here? Because I'd rather I was dead then living without you." It was such a straightforward comment that it almost put Rikku in her own state of shock. Gippal never gave such straight answers to her.

"I'm alive Gippal, and so are you." She told him softly kneeling beside the bed. Gippal stared at her, looking at every curve of her to see if she was telling the truth. "Look." She said finally taking his right hand gently and placing it on her cheek. "I'm real." That's when it happened.

There you go! The next chapter has more fluff in it I'll give you a clue about what will happen by its title 'connected with a kiss' lol.