I said last time that I would address the McGuires as Servants issue a little more in Chapter 3, but this story keeps expanding, and I won't actually get to it until Chapter 4. Oh well.
I just want to make a reference here, while I'm thinking about it. There is a great little movie called Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, which I hope everybody has seen, and if you haven't go out and rent it immediately! There is a character in that movie, named Sandy Frink, played by the wonderful Alan Cumming, who was sort of an inspiration for my gazillionaire Tudge. I just felt compelled to mention that, since I love Alan Cumming AND I love Tudge.
By the way, in case anyone is wondering, I own a button that says "I (heart) nerds."
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When Larry arrived home at his mansion early that evening, he found a Fed Ex package waiting for him in the foyer. Opening the outer box he found another box, covered in birthday wrap depicting Charlie Brown and Snoopy.
Larry smiled. This could only be his mother. Sure enough, the enclose birthday card was signed in his mother's familiar hand, "Love, Mom and Dad" and contained a postscript: "What do you get the man who has everything?"
Larry took the package into the Great Room and opened it further, revealing a Nintendo 64, circa 1996, complete with Super Mario World and Tetris games.
"Way to go, Dad!" he laughed.
He pulled the console from the box and easily hooked it into the widescreen TV. In a few minutes, he was playing the video games of his childhood. In a strange way, this felt like an answer to his troubled question in the elevator: Who the hell are you? This was the real Larry Tudgeman. He felt better than he had all day.
After about a half hour, he stopped to call his folks and thank them for the gift. "Dad," he said, "only you could have thought of this."
"And only your mother could have found it!" Dad revealed. "Her web shopping skills are amazing!"
"I'm so glad you like it, dear," said Mom on the other side of their three-way conversation. "Do you remember when you used to play those games as a boy?"
"Of course I remember!" Larry laughed. "I was in first grade, I think, when I started playing video games."
"Yes, you were. And that little friend used to come over and play with you all the time," Mom went on. "And sometimes she would actually beat you. And that made you so mad."
"What little friend?" Larry wondered.
"That little Hispanic girl. The one with the beautiful big brown eyes. The one who used to come over years later also, when you were both in high school. Still playing video games together. What was her name? Melissa?"
Larry felt his world stop for a moment. "Miranda," he said. He hadn't spoken her name in nearly ten years.
"Oh yes, Miranda!" Dad remembered. "She was a sweetheart, wasn't she, son?"
Larry held the phone to his ear and said, "Yes, she was."
"What ever happened to her?" Mom wondered.
"Don't know," Larry said, truthfully.
"Too bad," Dad said. "I always liked her."
A few moments later, after sharing the rest of the family news, Larry hung up the phone, feeling quite strange as slowly his world began to revolve again.
Miranda. He honestly hadn't thought of her in years. He honestly had no idea where she might be. How strange to suddenly be remembering her now, after all this time…
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"Larry, look who's here," Mom said, standing in the doorway of the family room.
Sixteen year old Larry looked up from the TV screen. "Hey! Randa!" he smiled.
Miranda Sanchez plopped herself down in the overstuffed chair. "Hey, Tudge…"
"Can I get you anything, dear?" Mrs. Tudgeman asked.
"Oh, no thanks, Mrs. T. I'm fine."
"Well, then, I'll leave you two alone to your video games…"
"Hey, Randa," Larry said, pausing his game. "You've got to see this! It's the newest thing for X-Box, it's called Halo and what you do is---"
He stopped suddenly, noticing a wateriness in Miranda's beautiful big brown eyes. "Hey, Randa," he said, now more quietly. "What's going on?"
"It's Jonathan," she sniffed.
"Which one is Jonathan?" Larry asked.
"My boyfriend!" Miranda exclaimed. "He's my boyfriend, you bozo!"
"Which one?"
She reached out and smacked him. "What do you mean 'Which one?' The one I've been dating these last two months!"
"I can't keep track of all your boyfriends," Larry said.
This was not true. He kept perfect track of every boy Miranda went out with. First there had been Warren. Then Thomas, then Eddie, then Michael, and now Jonathan. In only two years of high school, Miranda had made her way through a long list of boyfriends…which, incidentally, did not include him.
Larry sighed. "What about Jonathan?" he asked.
"Well, he's not my boyfriend anymore!"
With this proclamation, Miranda began to unload a tale of sorrow, deceit, and misplaced affections to rival any soap opera storyline seen on daytime TV. Larry turned to listen to her, taking in every word, nodding, "uh-hu"ing, and validating her feelings, though all the time never revealing his own.
When at last she was done, Miranda wiped her eyes, laughed lightly at herself and apologized profusely.
Larry said, "De nada, senorita. That's what friends are for."
"And you are a friend," Miranda said gratefully. "You are such a good friend. No matter how many times I come to you with a tale of woe, you are there to listen to me. Tudge, I don't know what I would do without you."
Larry looked at Miranda for a long moment, wondering if he dare to speak what was really on his heart. Oh, he couldn't bear it if she should utter any of those dreaded phrases…
Just a friend…like a brother…no chemistry…
Larry sighed heartily and picked himself up off the couch. "Randa," he announced. "I know what you need."
"What do I need?" Miranda wondered, ready to take any advice from her friend, who was so smart.
"You need potato chips. With dip. And ice cream."
"Chocolate chip ice cream?" Miranda asked, hopefully.
"The only kind my mom buys," Larry smiled.
The went into the kitchen and prepared their snacks, then carried all the bowls back into the family room, setting up the coffee table as a smorgasbord of delectable treats. Miranda kicked off her shoes and joined Larry on the couch.
As they snacked, he showed her the new game, Halo, and within minutes she had picked it up and was keeping pace, having happily forgotten all about Jonathan. By the time Larry walked her home, shortly after midnight, she was an expert, having actually beaten him at one game.
"Ha ha! I beat you!" she laughed. "How are you ever going to be the Video Game King if you let yourself get beaten by a girl?"
Larry didn't mind that his dream of being the Video Game King was being challenged. At least Miranda was laughing again instead of crying…
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"Larry, look who's here," Mrs. McGuire said, standing in the doorway of the Great Room.
"Gordo! Liz!" Larry smiled, getting up to greet his friends. His shook David's hand, but kissed Lizzie lightly on the cheek.
"Ravishing, as always," Larry smiled.
Lizzie made a huffing noise and said, "Look at me, Tudge! No makeup, sweats, messy braids! Who are you trying to kid?"
"No matter," Tudge said. "Still ravishing."
"Hey, are you flirting with my wife?" David said, adjusting the brim of his baseball cap.
Larry looked at him and laughed. "What's with that getup?"
David Gordon had his long curly hair tucked up under a black baseball cap and was dressed head to foot in baggy black clothes. "I'm going to blend into the night," he grinned. "And Liz doesn't look anything at all like an Academy Award winning actress, does she? Do you think we'll be able to sneak around incognito tonight?"
"I'm counting on it," Larry said.
"Lizzie," Mrs. McGuire said, taking her daughter by the arm. "Come out back and say hello to your dad. It's been a while since he's seen you."
"Oh, I know, Mom! I've been so busy…"
As the womenfolk disappeared into the next room, David noticed the TV screen and said, "Hey, Tudge, what am I looking at?"
Larry excitedly began to explain his latest birthday gift, and in another moment the two men were sitting down battling Bowser and his army of Koopas in a desperate attempt to save the Princess.
"Oh man!" David exclaimed, when he lost his third life before Larry had even lost one. "This brings you back, doesn't it?"
"Right back to seven years old," Larry agreed, then unexpectedly asked, "Hey, Gordo, do you remember Miranda Sanchez?"
"Of course I remember her. She was best friends with Lizzie and me for years and years. Why do you ask?"
"Any idea what she's up to these days?"
"Lizzie's kept in touch with her better than I have over the years," David said. "Though I think the last time she heard from Miranda was about four years ago, and I think she was in Mexico somewhere. She's more or less dropped out of conventional society. Living in an artists' commune or something like that. Not really sure. You'd have to ask Liz."
Before either could say any more about the matter, Kate walked in with Ethan. There were polite hellos all around, then Kate said she was going upstairs to get changed for the Gala.
"What Gala?" David asked Larry, sounding disappointed. "I thought we were going to the movies tonight."
"It's the Gala Golf Charity Ball," Ethan explained. "Larry was invited, but refused to go, so I'll be escorting Ms. Sanders-Tudgeman. Hey, is this Mario? Cool! Can I play?"
"Sure," Larry said, handing over the controller. "Why not?"
Guys like Ethan could fight for the Princess, they could even fight and win the attention of puffed up airheads like his own wife, Kate. But as Larry sat there now, absently watching Ethan Craft, he recalled that despite the crazy crushes Lizzie and Miranda had had on this pretty boy in middle school, by the time Ethan had decided, as a highs school senior, that he wanted to go out with Miranda, she was already too smart for him and not at all interested.
Of course, she had never been interested in Larry at all, at least not as anything more than a friend. But it made him feel good now to recall that he was not the only boy who was unable to secure the elusive affection of Miranda Sanchez.
With a hearty birthday sigh, Larry wondered what might happen should they ever meet again.