Words left unspoken

Well, tomorrow I start college party I'll try my best to keep updating once a week. This chapter is the fluff, and its twice as long as usual. So enjoy!

Master Theif: It's a very bug part in their relationship, the teasing and fun to write! Glad you like it.

Back of Beyond: Glad you like it, makes me happy here's the chapter!

Riyue: Yes he is, you find out in the next chapter. Cid's approval is going to be hard to get, lol. Especially with it being Cid.

Torii: Don't worry I'll continue could take me years but I will finish this (although this is all planned out so it shouldn't be that long.) Rikku was just trying to get her points in the teasing game but it backfired. Hee hee, remember about the way you know Gippal's mother died, it's important later on.

Milkie: here you go!

Cute-kitty2: there are two reason why. 1) Male ego, he wasn't about to give into Rikku and he wasn't about to admit she was clever enough to use it. Lol, my favourite reason 2) The dress here is designed for someone with their right eye missing, if Rikku or anyone else had used it, it would have taken out their right eye in order to connect to the nerves.

Skirty-embroidery: thanks for the grammer advise, although there might be some in this one too cause I only checked it over once. I'm too lazy to do it again, lol. Glad you like the way I did Wakka. I just thought he deserved to stop something the others didn't. I just thought he's been a lot of things, blitzer, guardian etc so he would notice people getting addicted on the adrenaline. If that makes sense. You won't find out about the third item for a while, but you will eventually twice daily? Bless you fomr now on I'll try and update every Tuesday.

Bookworm: thank you! I tried to make it exciting for a filler which seemed to have worked a little hope I can do it again with the next filler chapter.

Quadrono: glad you like I'm a complete Gippal/Rikku addict and I couldn't resist starting to write a fic. No, there's still quite a bit to go, they haven't even set off to find the bad guy yet! Thank you! I was worried about how I was doing Rikku and Gippal. You didn't see him much in the game except in some different situations so his mood was always a different one (except when he was near Rikku, lol). As for Rikku, well I don't see her as a ding-dong because she's helped through both games so she can't be. Rikku is too good a character to be like that

How it once was

Mothers are odd things. You could have a mother like yours or someone who wouldn't give a damn about their offspring. Lidea would have given her life for her children, she would have given her very soul. My mother…she was a lot like that too, at first anyway.

My mother used to always care for me. She'd make sure I ate my fill before even any food herself. She'd sometimes sit with me at night to reassure me life as an Al Bhed wasn't all that bad. She saved my life more times then memory allows me to recall. Each time she would receive a new scar for her efforts but still she kept saving me.

The scary thing about my mother is how much she is like you. Remember when you were seven and you tried to keep that baby Malboro as a pet? You were so mad at me for shooting it when it tried to bite you. You never realised just how dangerous that thing was!

That's exactly what my mum was like, she never realised just how close danger was to us. She would never listen to reasoning. I can only hope you don't end up the same Rikku. I couldn't bear to see your soul die before your body does like my mothers did.

You seem to go out looking for fun in danger, my mum used to look for comfort in it. Maybe you too are secretly looking for danger in order to feel less lonely. I mean, everyone seems to have settled down and it must have scared you a little. I just hope that's not true because soon you will despise it as my mother did and stop caring altogether. After four years of looking after me before yourself she began to change. She would come back with little food left after eating her fill first. She threw herself into harm not to protect me but just to end her suffering. It was me that had to save her then, and soon I had more scars than she did.

I can only beg that doesn't happen to you Rikku. I wouldn't let it. You're still young so I hope you seek adventure just for fun. Don't take comfort in it, that will be your end.

But I won't ever let that happen. Wakka may not be too smart but he saw what none of the others did. He wants me to protect you on our journey, what's me to protect you from yourself. He wasnts me to save you from where life is beginning to take you.

I don't care if you'll hate me for it or if my whole body will be overlapped in scara. I will save you from this life. I will save you from yourself. Even if I have to tell you the truth…if it's the only way then I'll do it.

Rikku sat alone on the beach, for once needing to be alone to sort out her thoughts. She hadn't had the chance to do so over the last two days since Gippal had stormed away from her. She'd made herself too busy with catching up with people and trying to convince Brother over a commsphere to get out of the desert and take them to Djose. But not even Yuna could convince him to let Gippal on his ship.

She hadn't seen much of Gippal over the last two days. He was either chatting to Wakka about his secret machina idea or working on overriding the rogue machina without the help of his dress sphere. He'd been avoiding her, that much she could see. Rikku knew she had to apologise but she still wasn't completely sure what for.

Gippal had never once mentioned his parents to her, never. No matter how many times she pressed him or threatened. All that resulted from it was Gippal getting angry at her so she'd have to apologise twenty times before she was forgiven. Gippal was one of the most secretive people she knew besides Paine. If you asked him about life before Home he would say nothing yet anything after that he'd mostly tell you. He was a very odd person.

Very few people knew about Gippal's past, as far as Rikku had guessed he had only told four people. The first was Lance who seemed to have accepted it, after all he had adopted Gippal within a month of him arriving at Home. The second had been her father, someone Gippal had to tell in order to stay at Home. When Cid first met Gippal he seemed to like him but after they went in the tent and Gippal explained everything her father wouldn't even look him in the eye anymore. Gippal may be annoying and arrogant now but back then he was just some scared kid. Cid's reaction had really hurt him.

Rikku's mother had also been there when Cid was told the story of Gippal's past. Her reaction was more like Lance's, she just accepted it and never judged him by it. Rikku, knowing this, would try bug the truth out of Lidea when it became obvious Gippal wasn't going to say anything. Her mother however would just smile and say not to judge people by their past but more on how they felt about the ordeal themselves. She'd said Gippal wanted to start afresh from what he'd been through and they should respect that. Since that day Rikku hadn't asked Gippal anymore. She had told him she understood his need for a new life and would settle for what a wonderful person he was.

But on the day Cid had found out about them dating he'd been so angry with her he'd almost burst out Gippal's past. Lidea had been the reason Rikku hadn't learnt it and had been allowed to keep seeing Gippal. That day had really scared Rikku, for the first time she actually realised Gippal must have done something awful. If her father had been prepared to use it as a weapon against her feelings for him then it must be something bad. For the first time she had begun to wonder about him. By that time they'd been dating for a year yet Cid had succeeded in filling her with suspicion.

The next few months of their relationship after that had been distant. When he'd tried to kiss her she would edge away and then leave. Her mother eventually confronted her and pointed out how torn up Gippal was over it. He thought Rikku knew about his past and that like her father she hated him for it. She'd felt so guilty after her mother had shouted at her. Lidea had been so angry that she'd avoided him instead of telling him the reason. For the first time in her life she felt like the bad guy.

Rikku sighed slightly at the memories, looking back on it their relationship had been so odd. They were always mad at each other or scared what the other was thinking of them. Yet they had still kept working at it. They had really wanted to be together. Even when she was eight she'd wanted to make everything between them okay, she wanted to defy her father's wishes so she could be with him. That had been the first time she had to fight for their relationship. She had gone to Gippal and explained why she'd been so distant. She'd been so scared he'd hate her.

That day when she'd told him he had merely listened in silence, a silence that had made her fear of rejection grow. She'd thought she had lost him forever then because of her stupidity which made her start crying.

"Please don't cry Ree, I can understand it." Gippal told her gently while hugging her close. "But this is the reason I can't tell you. I don't want to lose you because of what happened so long ago."

Those words had always stayed with her since that day. She recognised the idea, it was one every Al Bhed had and wanted. They wanted the rest of Spira to forget the Machina War and their accusations that the Al Bhed were to blame. They all wanted to forget the past, just like Gippal did.

So she allowed Gippal to forget and she ignored her father's warnings that it would end badly. She enjoyed the Gippal she knew and didn't wonder about who he once was anymore. Gippal had helped too, helped work keep their relationship going by dropping hints of his unspoken past over the nest seven years. The more serious they had become the more hints he'd drop so Rikku could feel even closer to him. Through those hints Rikku learnt he had travelled around Spira constantly until he was five. She learnt he had suffered great prejudice from people and it had effected him.

One time Gippal had even mentioned the scars he had, something that Rikku hadn't even known about. He told her they were given to him for a good reason and he was grateful they were there to remind him of it. That had been the last hint the ever gave her, because a month later he broke up with her.

Within that month Gippal had told Brother his secret and they had stopped being friends. That month Gippal had found out he wasn't 'eligible' for the crusaders. That was the month Gippal had been more distant because of Brother until Rikku had yelled at him to stop being stupid and actually care what her brother thought. And then after those troubles it had been the month they were inseparable from each other.

Rikku sighed heavily at the memory of those last two weeks they'd spent as a couple. They had been so wonderful, she had thought they would remain like that forever. She remembered how on the day before their eighth anniversary Gippal hadn't stopped grinning and hinting that he had something very special planned for her. Once she had made sure it wasn't sex (he had been a sixteen year old male after all) she had tried to bug him into telling her with no result. Whatever it had been though it wasn't breaking up for her, she knew he hadn't planned on leaving her and Home behind. But that's what happened instead.

Something had happened for him to think he needed to hurt her. Something bad enough for him to give up on the happiness they had. He'd broken her heart so badly and it had taken her time to realise he must have been lying about what he said. Right? It just didn't make any sense. Maybe, just maybe he still felt something for her like Lulu said. Maybe she could finally find out the truth of what happened after nearly three years…

"There you are!" Paine called looking annoyed. "Come on, everyone's saying their goodbyes at the dock."

Rikku shook off her thoughts and jumped to her feet racing towards the dock. She arrived there just after Gippal and Tidus had finished saying goodbye and went onboard the boat. Gippal didn't look very happy about it. He had been working none stop the past two days and hadn't got any sleep, he was not in a good mood.

"Well I guess we'll see you later tubby." Rikku teased before moving over to hold Vidina one last time.

"Just be careful ya?" Wakka said seriously. "I'm worried you'll get too carried away with this and hurt yourself."

"You're starting to sound like pops." Rikku pointed before giving the family a hug and heading onto the boat.

Gippal gazed over the edge of the boat at the merciless water. Merciless, just as life could be sometimes. Merciless like placing the most beautiful woman in all of Spira on the same boat knowing he could never have her. He was stuck on a small boat where he couldn't escape her, couldn't escape the idea and memories of what they once had. Stupid boat.

"What are you doing love? Everyone else is below." LeBlanc stated while waving her fan about. Gippal usually prided the fact that he was good at judging people's personalities yet he was still unsure about this woman.

"Where's Noojster?" Gippal asked avoiding her question.

"Oh, Noojie is with that chump Baralai doing some boring stuff. Ormi and Logos are sleeping so I'm feeling rather bored." Gippal chuckled at that, thia woman was a real mystery. "Noojie told me about all that Crimson Squad business." She stated almost accusingly.

"So?"

"He told me you wanted to be a Crusader once. Why?" Gippal raised an eyebrow at this, she was pretty good at assessing people it would seem.

"I wanted to make a difference."

"For who love? Your people or yourself?" Gippal turned his gaze back to the water.

"I don't really know." A long silence fell on the pair with only the sound of the ocean and LeBlanc's fan flapping about making a sound.

"…It's that perky one from the Dullwings isn't it?" She said finally with a knowing smile that made Gippal uncomfortable. "I knew it!"

"Rikku has nothing to do with anything!" He protested with putting on a cocky stance.

"Sure she doesn't love. That's why you have a pet name for her and do that whole tease the girl you fancy thing. And did I mention the air between you? Your bad-boy-with-any-kind-of-skirt attitude isn't fooling anyone love. I wouldn't be surprised if you lost that eye saving her life or something just as romantic." This caused Gippal to shuffle about uncomfortably again. "So did you break up with her?"

"Who said we were ever together?" He protested angrily. LeBlanc just smiled, she had him and she knew it.

"Just a little conversation Noojie told me about when you were in the Crimson Squad."

Nooj glared at the cheerful Al Bhed. Tomorrow they were going to receive their test assignment yet he didn't seem to be the least bit nervous.

"Would you stop jumping around and go to sleep?" He growled.

"Aw come on Noojster! There's no way I'll get any sleep tonight."

"You should at least try to conserve some energy." Baralai said sleepily.

"I'm an Al Bhed, I always have energy."

"Pity." Paine muttered from within her sleeping bag. Silence fell among them, Nooj knew better than to think it would last when they had a sixteen year old Al Bhed with them.

"Hey Baralai, do you have some cute Yevonite waiting for you back I Bevelle after all this?" Gippal asked while glancing over meaningfully at Paine's sleeping bag. Nooj rolled his eyes when he saw Baralai turn red and Paine shuffle with interest from within her bag. Those two were so hopeless.

"No, I don't." Baralai muttered causing a cocky grin to appear on Gippal's face. "What about you? Any pretty Al Bhed woman?" This sudden question caused the grin to fall and the jumping about to stop. Nooj quirked an eyebrow at the sudden change. Even Paine sat up and looked out of her sleeping bag. Too late to be convincing Gippal recuperated and placed a false smile on his face.

"Me? With some princess? Nah, I prefer the kind of women who like you for a few hours and then never see you again." Paine rolled her eyes too tired to question him and hid back in her bag. Baralai stared questionably at his friend but choose not to say anything. Nooj glared at Gippal wondering what a princess had to do with anything. He watched as Gippal turned his back on them and sat down saying nothing more all night. Nooj then decided he preferred the constant chatter rather than the pained silence.

"That goody two shoes Yuna told me Rikku's dad is the leader of the Al Bhed. That would make her 'some princess' no?" Gippal didn't answer and LeBlanc understood why his pained silence was worse than his constant chatter. "So I'm taking by the silence with such guilt and pain that you broke up with her." Another silence followed this. "Why?"

"Because if she found out the truth it would have been a lot more painful for both of us." He said quietly.

"Didn't give her much of a chance though did you?" LeBlanc grunted.

"She would have hated me because of it, just like her father and Brother."

"Don't be so sure love." LeBlanc said kindly. "I've been watching her too and I think…"

"There you are!" Nooj said as he hobbled over. "I was wondering where you went."

"Well I had to do something while you were in a boring meeting." LeBlanc said with a warm smile. Gippal chuckled realising it wasn't only LeBlanc that did the chasing in their relationship.

"Glad to see you've cheered up." Nooj said sourly but with hidden relief. "Come on, everyone's getting food downstairs."

The man cursed slightly as he saw Rin standing by the hover near the agency front. Did the man ever leave? Apparently there was some emergency, some idiot had managed to fall out of a crashing airship and they had sent a hover to pick the man up. Now it had returned and they still hadn't taken the injured Al Bhed out from fear of causing further injury.

Why couldn't he have just died? It would have made everything a lot easier. A corpse would have been removed by now. They were bringing white mages now! What was the point? He wouldn't survive after a fall like that anyway. Stupid Al Bhed scum, they were like cockroaches, nearly impossible to kill.

It was another ten minutes of endless spell healing before they decided to risk moving the idiot. About time, the man was sick of crouching behind the stupid bush. Rin was muttering in his native tongue as they began to carry the man inside. The man silently cheered as he watched them leave but stopped when he caught a glimpse of who the injured man was. It was Lance.

Suddenly all thought of the hover was momentarily forgotten. Instead he began to ask around to see what happened. Apparently Lance had been on his way to Besaid on the Bnehlacc when the safety mode had been disabled and they began to crash. Lance had fallen out while the ship itself had crashed in Kilika Woods. Whoops. If he'd known Lance was on the ship he wouldn't have disabled the thing. If only it had crashed here and he could have used it!

Lance's condition was uncertain but the man couldn't afford to wait any longer. He quickly and expertly rewrote the hover and made his way off towards…

Rikku looked up from her food when she saw Nooj return with LeBlanc and Gippal. Nooj looked rather moody while Gippal seemed back to his normal self. He kept glancing at LeBlanc and talking as if she were a close friend. This caused a boil of jealousy to rise up in Rikku. How come he was so happy around LeBlanc?

"Hey Cid's girl." Gippal said casually as he sat next to her. "What's up? Your face is all red." Rikku laughed nervously and blamed the hot food. Gippal just shrugged, well at least he wasn't mad at her anymore.

"So you're back to your normal self I see." Baralai commented after they had all eaten.

"You say that like it's a good thing." Nooj muttered darkly. LeBlanc hit him lightly on the arm with a grin.

"Probably because of the isolation an island has love." LeBlanc told Baralai. Gippal just shrugged and everyone continued to sit in silence. "How about a game?" LeBlanc suggested. "Truth or dare and we can learn some secrets!" Gippal seemed slightly uncomfortable by this statement but nodded in agreement anyway. Rikuk smiled thinking of the possibilities.

"I'm in!" She said cheerfully and then took it on herself to bug everyone into agreeing. Everyone sat around in a circle. Rikku sat near Yuna, then Tidus, Paine, Baralai, Nooj, Leblanc then Gippal on her other side. It was an odd arrangement done by LeBlanc but Rikku couldn't be bothered to complain.

"Who's going first then?" Rikku asked. No one spoke.

"Fine I will." Gippal grinned. "Baralai, truth or dare?" His grin widened as the praetor groaned.

"Truth."

"Okay, so how serious are you and Dr. P?" Rikku giggled at the glare Paine gave him.

"I want a dare." Baralai said eventually.

"Fine, I dare you to declare your love to Paine in front of everyone." Rikku was laughing so hard that she fell into Gippal. He didn't complain about it though.

"That's not fair!"

"Pick one." Gippal smirked.

"I'm going to get you back for this." Baralai threatened before turning to Paine. "Paine, I…from the moment I first saw you I knew you were special. You are my best friend and a great girlfriend. I…I love you." Rikku burst out laughing again as Paine's face turned the colour crimson.

"Um, thanks." Paine said lamely but with a loving look in her eyes.

"Okay my turn!" Rikku grinned pointing a finger. "I dare Paine to tell Baralai she loved him!" This time the glare caused Rikku to give a nervous giggle.

"Ten respect points Rikku." She spat before turning to Baralai. "I..I love you Baralai." She stuttered her face the shade of her eyes. Baralai just smiled and pulled her into a hug. Gippal pretended to wipe a tear from his eye and Rikku giggled to hide the sudden emptiness she was feeling.

"Lady Yuna." Baralai spoke suddenly. "May I have my turn before yours and Sir Tidus?" Gippal gulped slightly at the evil grin Baralai gave him.

"Sure." Yuna said avoiding Gippal's pleading look.

"Let me help with Gippal love." LeBlanc demanding while shuffling over to Baralai and whispering in his ear. Rikku quirked an eyebrow at the grins on their faces. This should be good.

"Be my guest Lady LeBlanc." Baralai said politely.

"Thanks love. We dare Gippal to kiss Rikku for thirty seconds and no less!" Rikku gasped which caused Nooj to burst out laughing.

"W-what?" Gippal stuttered. "No way!" Despite the situation Rikku felt a little hurt by his reaction.

"Well you can do truth if you prefer and tell us the real reason you broke up with her." LeBlanc offered. Gippal gave her a betrayed look before sighing. What did she mean the real reason? Rikku thought.

"Rikku, come here."

"Hu fyo!" (No way!)

"Part of the game love." LeBlanc smiled. "And you have to kiss back."

"Sayhea!" (Meanie!) Rikku yelled and crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Mad'c zicd kad ed ujan fedr." (Let's just get it over with.) Gippal sighed placing his hands on her hips. The touch sent a warm shiver through Rikku.

"Fine, but you owe me for this!"

"Come on loves some of us want to finish this and get some sleep."

"Ur buubea." (Oh poopie) Rikku complained gazing up at Gippal. "Go one then." She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see her friend's smirking faces. She knew LeBlanc was evil.

His lips were just as soft as she remembered them to be from forbidden memories. At first she was unsure of what to do, just the feel of him so close had effected her brain.

"You have to respond love." LeBlanc said softly. Rikku growled slightly before parting her lips and allowing his tongue to enter her mouth. She moaned slightly and felt his hands move to her back and tighten around her, pulling her closer to him. All around them was quiet and she forgot about the ones watching. She placed her hands on his chest which allowed her to feel his heartbeat quicken. She could hear her own pounding in her ears and knew they were beating at the same rate. Just like they used to, just like how it once was.

Rikku felt Gippal pull back for air and she took the chance to move her arms around his neck and pull his lips back to hers. She could feel his shock but he responded when she invaded his mouth with her own tongue by lifting her onto his lap. Now their chests were touching and she heard him moan softly. They were kissing more frantically now, more desperately. It wasn't something they wanted but needed, they'd been needing it for so long…

"For the third time loves time is up!" LeBlanc shouted so loudly that Rikku was shocked into opening her eyes. The next thing she knew she had fallen on the floor on her butt and was completely out of breath. She glanced at Gippal to see his face flushed, his hair a mess and his lips swollen. "Now that was chemistry!" LeBlanc exclaimed. Rikku felt her face burn red at everyone's stares. She clumsily got to her feet and left the room unable to look anyone in the eye, especially Gippal.