Words left unspoken
Warning: This chapter is not happy. It's quite shocking and half of what Gippal explained about his past isn't true, he just wants Rikku to believe it. Please don't give up on this story by what will happen, I promise it will all be explained later on.
Back of Beyond: Glad you like not sure you'll like this chapter but please bear with me!
KairiYuna14: glad you like and please don't stop reading just cause of this chapter, I promise it will get better.
Torii: Yep she does I just couldn't resist writing that. The past revealing is this chapter and I don't think its what you'd expect but please don't give up on the story because of it! I'll explain it all soon.
Temelia: I'll remember to add more PainexBaralai in then just for you.
Cute-kitty2: I didn't realise it myself until you asked, I was just going with the first excuse male egos are fun to crush. Lol, hormones are funny things. Plus he's pretty confused due to his past. Please don't give up on the story after this chapter! I will have it get better! Honest! Gippal is still a good guy in this story!
Tanya Takaishi: Glad you like how I've portrayed them, I was kinds worried about that. The past is revealed in this chapter and it probably will be a surprise but please don't give up on the story because of it! It's not as bad as it sounds. I love his dressphere! I just pictures it and figured he should have one seen as he's one of the main fighters in this. I thought about other people having them in the game too. I mean just by their clothes I thought they were dresspheres. Leblanc was Lady Luck, Tidus/Shuyin warrior. Gippal an alchemist (I think) and there's some others I can't remember right now.
I thought about what you said regarding their ages and I think I will change it. I only did it that age to show they've been out before and cared about each other but that age will still work as well. I think I did it because I had a boyfriend from about the age of seven till I was twelve. And now after you said that I realised you were right about it being extreme, lol. That relationship of five years I only saw him about five times!
I'll try read through it more carefully, I am a natural bad speller/grammer person, lucky me. I would get someone to check it for me but they would think I'm crazy writing a ffx-2 fic. My family are just a bit odd that way.
Anyway I'm glad you like the story and I hope you'll stick with it despite what happens next! Thank you!
Milkie: glad you liked it. I just had to do Leblanc that way, it seemed the type of thing from what I got off her through the game. This chapter not so happy but I hope you'll stick with the story long enough for the explanation.
Megamoogle76: don't waste away! I don't want to lose your opinion, lol. Glad you like the cuteness, I love writing it hope you continue reading despite this chapter, I promise there will be more cuteness later on in the story between them. They just have to sort out some issues first.
Violet121: blushes really? Four words I've longed to hear thanks! I doubt you'll think that after this chapter, but I promise it will get better!
Beautiful Songstress: Thanks for letting me know. I love the chapter and thanks for the review!
A Princess' Fall
I hate LeBlanc, how could she do this to me? I was already going insane due to distant memories of our time together and now this happens! Now the connection is so strong again. My heart is beating so fast that I feel it's about to burst unless I hold you again soon. I can't do this anymore.
Maybe I can tell you, maybe you'll understand and everything will be perfect. Why couldn't it be? All I've ever really needed since arriving at Home is you. Just you. Why can't we have a happy ending? Dr. P has a saying that if you want a happy ending you have to write your own. Can I do that? Can I just follow you now and kiss you, tell you everything and finally feel whole? Could I do that to you? Make you chose between moral sense and love, how could I ever do that to you?
You ran out of the room, ashamed of what happened. LeBlanc whispered in my ear to follow you. She knew I wanted, knew everything I am needed to…Yet I shook my head.
My heart's still pounding hard, it's missing you, calling out for it's soulmate. How can an organ know? How can it know what my entire mind craves for? How does it know love? …Maybe I should become a priest. I could devote my life to guarding some stupid statue and never have to come into contact with you ever again.
It won't stop pounding. It won't let me lie anymore. What should I do? Even the thought of your beauty makes me want to get up and follow you. The thought of never feeling your lips again makes me want to cry like an infant. Why? Why? Why? Why can't I have you? Why did I have the one past that ensures you'll hate me? Why Rikku? Why?
"Do you think she'll be okay?" Yuna asked worriedly. Her and Tidus were in bed yet she couldn't sleep after seeing Rikku storm off. The Al Bhed had gone to her room and refused to come out but Yuna had heard crying from within.
"I'm not sure." Tidus admitted. "She's in love yet something is stopping them admitting it."
"I just hope he'll come to his senses and open up to her. They both need it, he's just as helpless too." Tidus smiled fondly and stroked her cheek.
"They'll sort it out, no one can deny something that strong for too long." Yuna giggled at that.
"True, but I just hope it's before they really hurt each other."
Has there ever been a point where you feel so overwhelmed that you just burst? That's how Rikku felt. After the kiss had ended and Gippal's warmth had left her she'd felt so lonely, so scared that she was forever doomed to feel this way.
She could still taste him now and like a hopeless addict she wanted more, needed more. Yet something held her back. If she felt this strongly he must feel it a little too. He must feel their heartbeats become one, the completeness when they are close to each other. He feels it yet he denies it. Why?
Once upon a time they had been happy together, it had been perfect. But one day it had ended for no reason. He'd said it was because she was spoilt and would remain daddy's little girl. He'd said she was too immature and he needed a woman rather than a girl. But it didn't make sense. Gippal is far from mature at most times so why would he suddenly despise her for being his female version? It was like hating himself or just hating innocence altogether.
But that had never bothered him before so what had changed? Had Brother said something? Had her father?
"E ryja du ghuf." (I have to know) Rikku said out loud with determination. "Ev ra fuh'd damm sa fro drah E'mm veht uid socamv. Drah e'mm gelg rec pidd vun biddehk sa drnuikr drec." (If he won't tell me why then I'll find out myself. Then I'll kick his butt for putting me through this.)
It was early morning when Kilika Island came into view. Gippal sighed with relief at the thought of finally getting off the boat. It was way too small for his liking and he needed to…run about or something.
Gippal hadn't even bothered trying to get any sleep the night before knowing it would be pointless. He couldn't sleep, especially with Rikku near him. He just needed to get off the boat, to get away from Rikku. He needed his ship! He needed to hear the purr of the engine and feel the controls within his grasp. Machina was simple to him and he understood it. All this was too much for him right now.
"Lusa uh oui cdibet puyd!" (Come on you stupid boat!) Gippal yelled while jumping up and down. He was too close to going crazy from everything that had happened and he needed to stop it!
"Well I see someone's eager to dock." The praetor said from behind him with a sad smile. "Why so desperate?"
"I don't like small spaces that's all." Gippal insisted. "There's nowhere to go, nothing to do."
"You mean there's nothing here to distract you from you thoughts?" Gippal didn't bother replying to that. "I didn't hear you go to bed last night." He accused quietly.
"You were probably too distracted with your girlfriend." Gippal said easily with a cocky smile.
"Gippal…why are you doing this? You've loved this woman for years yet you won't allow the two of you to be happy. Why?"
"Because this way it will hurt less than if I told her the truth of my past."
"I highly doubt that."
"And that just shows how much you really know!" Gippal spat. "Baralai, you've been a good friend to me so I'm warning you. Butt. Out." Before Baralai could reply the Al Bhed had ran past him and hidden himself within the boat's belly. Baralai sighed slightly no longer knowing how to help his old friend.
Paine stepped off of the boat with an inward sight of relief, that had been close to torture. She looked around her and noticed the two Al Bheds were standing as far away from each other as possible. Hopeless. She glanced away from the two and realised for the first time just how sparse the villagers were near the dock. Paine didn't like it.
"Does something seem wrong to you?" She said aloud.
"Huh? No." Rikku burst turning red. Gippal was silent.
"I meant with the town." Paine said making her annoyance obvious. "They're not in this area except one person."
"Well let's ask him!" Rikku said loudly rushing over to the man. Paine just rolled her eyes and followed. "Hi there! Where is everyone?" The man looked up at her and his eyes widened.
"You didn't hear?"
"…Nope."
"An Al Bhed ship crashed in the forest and everyone is over there trying to help out." Paine glanced at Gippal who'd paled visibly. "A few of the crew were injured but I don't know anything more."
"Do you know it's name?" Paine asked quietly.
"Yeah, it's the Beelacc or something…"
"Cred!" Gippal burst and sped off towards the forest. Paine looked over at Rikku.
"The piicess?" She asked.
"Princess." Rikku told her before they followed after Gippal.
Her black paint was scratched and flaking. It looked so scrappy, as if it had been slopped on with no care. That was so far from the truth. The sound of the engine made Gippal wince, it sounded as if it were beyond repair. He heard the shouts of the Al Bhed as they tried to repair the damage, already each one knowing it was worthless. They just needed a task, one that would take their minds off what had happened.
Gippal was vaguely aware that the others had caught up, he didn't turn to them. He heard Rikku gasp at the disaster before them. Yep, that about summed up the feeling.
"That's your ship?" Baralai asked in amazement. "Where did you find it?"
"I didn't." He said blankly as he heard one of his men call to him in disbelief. "E syta ed." (I made it.) He didn't bother registering his friend's confusion, he let Paine translate it while he ran to his ship.
"Gippal, dryhg dra vyodr!" (Gippal, thank the fayth!) One of his men exclaimed. "Fa raynt oui fana tayt!" (We heard you were dead!)
"Uhmo vun y vaf sehidac. Fryd rabbinate?" (Only for a few minutes. What happened?)
"Dra haf cyva suta caddehk oui tacekhat fyc ujannettah cusaruf yht fa lnycrat." (The new safe mode setting you designed was overridden somehow and we crashed.)
"Ec ajanouha ugyo?" (Is everyone okay?)
"…Cusa fana ehzinat." (…Some were injured) The man said hesitantly.
"Yho taydrc?" (Any deaths?)
"...Uhmo uha." (...Only one)
Rikku soon found herself helping out as much as she could. The ship was a mess and even she could tell new parts would be needed for it to be repaired. She had seen Gippal's face at the sight of it and knew he thought it beyond repair but she was feeling more optimistic.
"With the right parts this baby should be able to fly again." Rikku said confidently.
"Yes, although I think Gippal is too shocked to see it right now. We were about to send someone to Djose before you arrived but Gippal said you're heading there anyway." An Al Bhed man told her.
"Oh, you saw Gippal? I haven't seen him in a while, where is he?" The man grimaced slightly at the question which made Rikku nervous.
"Gippal went to the temple so he could pray for a friend to cross to the farplane safely."
"The farplane? Someone died?"
"…When we were flying over Mi'ihen Highroad that was when the airship started to fail. Lance was attempting to fix one of the bucky cables so we'd be able to land safely…He was caught by the strong wind and fell from high up…too high."
"L-Lance is dead?" Rikku stuttered in disbelief. She'd always known Lance, he'd always been there for her and Gippal when they needed help. Why did he have to die? How was Gippal going to feel losing his father?
The man nodded at her solemnly and turned away. Rikuu's eyes were full of tears yet she was too shocked to shed them. Dead?
"So where's Gippal gone off to anyway?" Nooj muttered as she entered outside. Everyone except Gippal and Rikku was sat around, some looking bored and some sympathetic for the Al Bhed.
"He's praying at the temple." Rikku choked out causing her cousin to gaze at her worriedly. Nooj just smirked at this announcement.
"Gippal? Praying? What, for his ship to repair itself?" Rikku gave him such a glare that even he almost winced.
"No! he's there to pray his father's soul makes it safely to the farplane!" She yelled at him before bursting into helpless tears.
Kilika temple had changed a lot since the last time Gippal had been there. The atmosphere was more pleasant and calm. The change suited it yet even in such an atmosphere he couldn't bring himself to pray. Who was he suppose to pray to? Yevon? Yeah right, he'd never believed in Yevon even when Spira hadn't known he was an imposter. The fayth? They were gone and wouldn't care less about one spirit reaching the farplane. Fate? Fate had been the reason Lance was taken. He wouldn't pray to fate for Lance's safe journey to the place it had forcefully sent him to.
Even if he found something to pray to he knew it wouldn't feel right. Lance being dead just didn't make any sense to him. He felt as if it were impossible, that it couldn't be true. Why take Lance? He had nothing to do with anything.
Maybe it's to punish me for trying to forget. Maybe they want those who accept me and make life matter to suffer for it. Both Lidea and Lance forgave me for what I did and now they are dead. Maybe…I'm not suppose to be forgiven.
"Gippal?" Came a beautiful yet pain filled voice. Gippal silently cursed in his head. This is fate, it's obvious what's suppose to happen now. Her being here proves that, I have to make sure I'm never forgiven so no one else dies. His heart had begun beating faster as he realised it, it was protesting saying it didn't have to be like that. Yes it does, she deserves the truth.
Gippal slowly turned to face his princess, his angel, his Rikku. Her face was stained with tears of grief, tears he seemed unable to share. His breath caught slightly at how beautiful she was, his heart pounding madly in desperation for him not to tell her. It knew she would hate him, it knew that it would break again and never be repaired. "I'm so sorry Gippal…"
"No." He said coldly. Inside of him he cried in grief over what he was about to do. He was going to break her heart again. Her was going to hurt her so badly…but maybe then she'd be safe, safe away from him. "I should be the one who's sorry, he died because of me."
"Gippal…"
"Don't say anything Rikku! You don't know! He died because he loved me, he died because he let me forget what a monster I am. Just like your mother did. She thought I could change and she died. I can't change me being a monster."
"You're not a monster." Rikku whispered.
"Shut up!" He yelled with such anger he saw a flash of fear in her beautiful eyes. "I'm a monster. I'm a murderer. You want to know my past? You want to know about Gippal's life before Home, the reason your family hate me? I'll tell you."
"Don't." She said desperately.
"But you've always wanted to know haven't you? Up until Brother found out anyway, then you realised just how awful it must be. Well guess what Rikku, it's so much worse then you could have ever imagined." He paused slightly with a gulp knowing that this was it. This was the moment everything would change. Gippal took one long loving gaze at his soulmate before turning his back to her and beginning his story…
"Since I was a baby I had been travelling around Spira with my mother and a man who was a wanted criminal."
"Your real father?" Rikku asked quietly.
"…No. my father died before I was born , I never knew my real father." No comment greeted this so Gippal had no choice but to continue. "My mother knew it was stupid to travel with him but alone we wouldn't have survived. She needed his love and I needed the food he would share. But just because we were there didn't make him a nice person. He was a criminal, a killer. He…he'd become a wanted man for trying to kill your father."
"That's it? Gippal…"
"There's more Rikku. Much more than that. Just because he was wanted didn't stop him from killing others. He hated the Al Bhed, I mean really hated them. The only reason he didn't kill us was because his lust for my mother had lasted through…well, his hatred." Gippal gulped again, he couldn't tell her that part, not ever. "We would travel all over Spira praying in every temple for the Al Bhed to all die out. Every time he saw one he'd drag them away from other people's sight and…he tortured them first if he could. He was an expert at it. And I…"
"Gippal please don't." Rikku begged.
"I never stopped him, not once. Sometimes my mother would manage to and she'd suffer for it. But I never did, in fact I…I usually helped him kill them. I..I even ended up helping him to kill my own mother." The silence that followed was so absolute it was painful. Gippal felt his heart jerk violently already beginning to break. It was weakly begging him to continue, to explain what he meant by it really. He stayed silent.
"You killed them." Rikku stated coldly. The ice in her voice made him shiver, the hatred made his heart begin to wither away…
"Two hundred and twenty eight Al Bheds." He listed quietly. "Thirty normal Spirans, nineteen Guados, three Hypellos, one Shoopuff…"
"Enough!" Rikku screamed so loud it made him wince. He turned to face her as a single tear fell from his eye. "You murdered those people? Murdered!" Her beautiful face looked so hurt, so angry and betrayed. So much disgust, oh fayth, so much hatred.
"E's cunno." (I'm sorry) He whispered as more tears invaded his face.
"Sorry? Sorry! Why don't you tell the ones you helped kill that! Tell them how sorry you are for taking their chance of life away!" Rikku was sobbing so much she was choking on tears. She looked down at the floor unable to look at him anymore. "Were you there when he tried to kill my father? Were you going to help him then too?"
He was shaking his head before he could stop himself, luckily though Rikku was still looking at the ground. Part of him wanted to tell her the rest of it, the part that would allow her to forgive him for all this. But he stayed silent and focused on keeping his head still. It was better for her this way.
"Every time you touched me you had their blood on your hands. Every time you kissed me it was with a passion you could easily use to kill people. Every time…every time our hearts beated as one it was a heart that was so cold it had stopped so many others!"
"Rikku." He pleaded subconsciously taking a step forward.
"No! Don't come near me and don't ever touch me!" She screamed her face looking into his, shooting out a look of such hatred his heart finally broke. "I hate you Gippal! E RYDA OUI!" (I HATE YOU!)
With that she turned and ran. Gippal could only sink to the floor and stare at the spot she had been. No longer could his heart feel anything. No longer did he have a purpose in his life.
hides please don't hurt me! It had to be that way. Gippal is grieving and convinced people he cares about die so he's bending the truth to make Rikku hate him. He didn't actually kill anyone, I promise. It will be explained in the next chapter in Gippal's thoughts. Please don't give up on this! Those two are too stubborn to give up on each other, this is just a set back that had to happen.