Words left unspoken

So here's the explanation chapter…sort of. It will be a while before you learn the rest but this should keep you satisfied in Gippal's involvement for now. I'm hoping to hit 100reviews with this chapter, only three away! By the way for the chance to be a character in here that either flirts with Rikku or Gippal look at the bottom of the chapter.

Torii: glad to hear it! That about sums it up, this chapter isn't very exciting but I hope you still like it!

Back of Beyond: yay! Thank you!

Angel Taisha: Thanks for understanding. Drama and suspense is still on the list for a while. And I definitely agree with the love being fought for, it makes it more real. Plus these two just aren't the type to do that in my opinion.

Shampooing: Don't die! Here's the next chapter, breathe! Lol.

Megamoogle76: How? With a very depressing mind, lol. I wanted to add suspense, his past has a lot to do with everything. Here's more.

Tanya Takaisha: You see Rikku's thoughts on what happened in this chapter. She is very confused so it might not make complete sense. One minute she'll want to forget it and the next she'll want to know everything. I love leaving cliffhangers, it annoying to readers, lol. I can't believe I did that! Ugh, and I went over the chapter so carefully! I changed that and then went over this once twice so hopefully I got all the mistakes. Thanks for telling me.

Gip-rik: lol, okay here you are!

Kairiyuna14: This soon enough? Lol, sorry to leave it at such an evil cliffy. It's just so fun to do it.

voicelord: dramatic? Yay! At least I did something right, lol. Happy ending? I think I'd hurt myself is I didn't make it one. I love the couple too! They're just meant to be!

CrazyKaty: Stupid when it does that XX it did that to me a few times with your story. Your welcome, least I could do your ace story!

Rikkufan: she's upset and confused and hurt. Plus she's grieving over Lance. I guess she just needs to be a bit bitchy, well that's how I see it. Gippal was just the one who set her off.

Cute-Kitty2: Bless you, remember that little detail by the way, there's something in chapter 11 that will interest you…and I'm glad you aren't gonna stop reading!

Milkie: lol, not so bloody! You'll see anyway, hope you'll like him again after this.

Violet121: Glad you won't give up! I don't know, I just thought some people would try and hurt me for that chapter laughs nervously

Master Thief: glad you liked it, here the update!

Kimberly: blushes thanks, I'm glad you like it. This chapter is a little boring but I hope you still like it!

The confusion of grief

…So now you know. You are the fifth person to know my past and the third to hate me for it. But at least you are alive.

Maybe I'm being stupid thinking that if I tell you the rest it will lead to your death. Maybe. But I just find it strange I recovered from the illness and your mother didn't, I find it strange Lance was on the ship when it was overridden and I wasn't.

Both of them had heard the same story I told you and just looked at me questionably. Then they had both asked the same question I both longed and dreaded to hear.

"When you say helped to kill them do you mean you picked up a tool and actually helped end their life?" Each time I argued that it made no difference whether I had or not. Do you know why Rikku? Because even if I didn't help kill them I didn't ever stop him.

"Do you mean didn't try to stop him or just didn't succeed?" Man those two knew me too well, they knew I twist words around to a different meaning. And that was back when they only knew me for a few hours! They…just knew.

I didn't literally help the man to kill them. But I could never stop him. Mum would try and sometimes succeed but when she had finally had enough I could never save them instead of her. All that I succeeded in was getting more scars on my back.

That's the truth behind it. I wasn't there when he tried to kill your father, I wasn't even born! I could have been there in spirit though but that doesn't count. I didn't help kill my mother, I just failed to prevent her death. The man didn't kill her either, he loved her too much for that. No, those idiot Al Bhed hating Guados did that.

That's the whole truth in the matter…well except the man's identity but I can't even tell you that, not even in my head. That doesn't have anything to do with it anyway…well, not really.

Enough of that! The point is I would try and stop them but couldn't. I helped him murder them because we continued to travel with him even when we knew what he did. And you can never know that Rikku. I know you could forgive me for it that way and you mustn't. Even if it means both of us can never be happy again.

Lance and Lidea had guessed I meant something different but you didn't, just like Cid and Brother. That tells me this was meant to be. So…this is the end of us. Goodbye my Rikku.

Cid's girl you are destined to remain.

A relieved smile passed across Rikku's face as she saw Luca come into view. Finally.

The last day had been too confusing for her to look back on now. Many tears had been spilt over the deceit, betrayal and the pain. Part of her still didn't want to believe it, wanted to go back to Gippal and demand something more. There had to be more right? How else would her mother and Lance have forgiven him? There just had to be more to it…

But right now she was too confused to care properly. Even if it wasn't as bad as it sounded he obviously didn't want her to know it. Even though he'd told obviously Lidea and Lance the rest. So why should she bother? Why should she have to keep fighting for something he didn't seem to want.

Rikku brushed away her tears angrily. She wouldn't cry over this anymore. She'd been such a mess the whole boat trip and it wasn't like her. No one had said anything assuming it was over Lance's death and that realisation had made her feel very, very guilty. Lance was dead and all she could think about was herself. She wanted what Gippal had said to be a lie, she wanted Lance alive, she wanted her heart to stop hurting her and just to forget him…

So many wants and all so different. Rikku felt ready to pull her hair out or bang her head against the boat's edge. She wanted the confusion to end! It was pointless to keep wondering about things that weren't meant to happen. Gippal may have told her everything and he may not have, but as far as she knew it was true. If he wanted it to be true then it would be. That should be the end of it!

Yet the confusion was still so strong. A confusion born from secrets, doubts, the memories that told her Gippal was lying. How could he have been so loving towards her if he was a person that helped kill his own mother? The confusion wouldn't go away and kept finding more flaws with Gippal's explanation. This was stupid! She needed to stop it, she didn't want to find anything within that confusion.

Yes you do She told herself with a sigh.

"Gippal made his choice, you have to accept that." Rikku told herself firmly. "Just concentrate on the mission and nothing else." With that she smiled fully for the first time since learning the truth. She was Rikku and she needed to stay positive.

So what if Gippal may be a killer? He was the best help she had on this mission. And if he wasn't? Well…she'd deal with that later.

It had been over ninety six hours since Gippal had last slept. He was both physically and emotionally exhausted to the point of collapse yet he had found he couldn't sleep. He stared stupidly at the cup of coffee in front of him trying to focus enough in order to actually drink it and have the glorious caffeine in his system.

It had been nearly an hour since they had arrived at Luca, each going their own way and promising to meet up at lunch so they could carry on to Mushroom Rock. Nooj had made it quite clear he wanted to go there and no further. So had, naturally, LeBlanc, Ormi and Logos.Just drink the damn coffee He muttered to himself finally making himself lift the cup to his lips and drink. It felt too warm for his numb body but he made himself drink it anyway. He needed to drink so he could stay awake.

"Excuse me, could I have some more coffee?" Gippal asked as politely as his nature would allow. The waiter glanced over him doubtfully. "I've only had one."

"They have a hotel down the street kid, looks like you could use one." Gippal smiled at him sadly.

"Wish I could but I have to head off pretty soon and once I'm asleep there's no waking me." The man chuckled at that.

"Sounds just like my wife." He said while placing another coffee on the table. "Last one though kid, I don't want to get accused of not looking after the customers." Gippal just nodded and drank his coffee quickly. For a moment one hand lingered in his pocket where his medicine resigned, if only he had time to have some…

"Good morning Spira! This is Shelinda with breaking news about the attack on Besaid four days ago. We have been interviewing those who eye witnessed the attack and have finally confirmed their evidence as fact. Now for the first time I am able to reveal the information learnt."

"Ur cred." (naughty word) Gippal moaned placing his weary head on the table. He could guess what was coming.

"All witnesses agree that the attack was from a large piece of machina." Shelinda said with a blank face, only her eyes showing her shock. "High Summoner Yuna, Sir Tidus and Miss Paine of the Gullwings were injured during the attack. The machina was destroyed by Miss. Rikku of the Gullwings and the Al Bhed from the Machine Faction. We have also received reports that as soon as the machina was defeated the Machine Faction removed the machina from Besaid and have taken it to Djose. It is unclear why they did this so quickly even when their leader had been injured. I have learnt that Gippal, the leader of the Faction, is currently in Luca and am hoping he will help explain the actions better."

Gippal sighed when he saw Shelinda come into the café. Sometimes he really did regret being born an Al Bhed.

Rikku sighed at the displayed items definitely not in any type of mood for shopping. Yuna had insisted they needed supplies but Rikku just wished they could get on with the quest as quick as possible. The quicker they got it over with the faster she could get away from Gippal. Then she could finally sort out her jumbled thoughts and then maybe confront him about everything.

It was something she needed to do, something she wanted to do soon! The longer they spent buying items the longer it would be before she could find out the truth, before she could forgive him and be in his arms again…

Whoa! Rikku slapped herself on the face earning a glare from Paine. Where did that thought come from? Rikku had never been the type to need a guy in order to feel complete. What had changed now?

"Yunie?" Rikku asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?" Her cousin asked while paying for her stuff.

"How did you know…Tidus was the one?" She knew she was being obvious but she didn't care, she had to know. She didn't want to be this confused anymore. She noticed Yuna and Paine exchange a look but she didn't dare comment about it.

"Well…When I'm around him I feel as if I'm whole, as if part of me is in him and I can only feel that when I'm with him. That feeling was what made me realise for sure he was the one. I..I felt it first in Macalania on the pilgrimage." Rikku just nodded silently. She knew the feeling, for her she knew it was their heartbeats.

"Yunie? If you lost Tidus again…just in a discussion way." She added quickly when seeing the worry on her cousins face. "Would you be able to cope like last time?" This was the answer she was truly dreading. Yuna had lost Tidus for two years but managed to stay strong and carry on without him. Rikku had had her heart broken by Gippal and managed to stay her usual cheerful self for two years. Yuna and her were both strong that way. Rikku had just lost Gippal for the second time and she needed to know if she could cope with that, whether Yuna would be able to.

"I…I don't know Rikku. But even if I could…I wouldn't be the same. Those two years were so lonely, I don't ever want to feel like that again." Yuna smiled slightly at that and let out a little giggle. "I guess I've changed since the Gullwing days huh? Now I'm the one getting helped."

That realisation shocked Rikku into silence. She hadn't really seen it like that before but Yuna had changed! She needed Tidus more than ever and he was helping her everyday by being there. Yuna, who was the strongest person she knew was dependant on one guy.

"Are you alright?" Paine asked with real concern. Rikku nodded her head numbly. If she did confront Gippal and accept him would she be the same? Would Rikku of the Al Bhed, of the Gullwings become entirely dependant on a man? Would she just become an extension to Gippal and nothing more?

"I need to go for a walk alone." Riku managed with a smile. "I'll be back in time to meet everyone." The two friends just nodded seeming to understand so Rikku gave them another smile before heading off to wander around the docks.

"Could you please clear up for us why your Faction took away the machina parts before anyone else could investigate?" Shelinda asked hesitantly before shoving the microphone near his nose. Gippal raised an eyebrow at her and although she reddened a little, her face remained blank.

"Because my Faction is an expert at machina and we wanted to analyse it as quickly as possible so we can limit the suspects. The quicker we did that the more likely we could catch them. Is that alright with you?" Gippal said coldly. He was tired, fed up and sick of being treated like a criminal just because of he was an Al Bhed. There was no way he was going to be intimidated by a amateur reporter.

"Well…y-yes that makes sense." Shelinda stuttered under his gaze. "And how is the investigation going Mr.Gippal?"

"Please don't call me that, it makes me feel like I'm forty." Gippal said with a half grin. "As for the investigation I don't know, I haven't gotten back to Djose yet."

"And why is that?" This woman was really starting to annoy him now.

"Why?"

"Yes, why. A moment ago you said you removed the machina to do a quick investigation yet this is the fifth day since the attack and you have not investigated?" Gippal sighed feeling all his exhaustion in that moment. They never changed. No matter how much he tried they still would blame the Al Bhed's even before looking at the evidence.

"You want to know why? Well, first of all I was trying to recover from dying. Then my ship had mysteriously disappeared so I decided to wait on Besaid an extra day before we took the boat to Kilika where my ship had crashed. My father died on that ship." He saw Shelinda blink slightly at that, sympathy in her eyes. Gippal smiled bitterly feeling tears well up in his eye. "And now I'm going back to Djose to see what they've discovered, I left my crashed ship and injured men to help Spira as fast as I could. And what do I get for it? Suspicion."

"Maybe you should leave the lad alone now." The waiter said harshly. "He's been through enough."

"E'ja ryt funca." (I've had worse) He muttered quietly.

"That's enough!" Nooj suddenly spoke up as he walked into the café. Gippal noticed that the camera was now directed at his friend and was glad for it. He didn't want to be here anymore, he just wanted to go to Djose and hide away for a few weeks. But that wasn't going to help clear the suspicion towards the Al Bhed.

"And what is your view in this Meyvn?" Shelinda asked quickly.

"My view? It's obvious Gippal has spent the last two years trying to keep the Al Bhed neutral to the rest of Spira. My view is he loves his people too much to have been involved in this, plus it doesn't make sense he'd make himself the primary target for the machina if he had built it. My view on this is my friend is very patient to be accused of this case yet is the only one trying to solve it. I don't see you at Djose trying to see the machina parts, you're just accusing those actually doing that." Gippal looked up at the old deathseeker in amazement. It almost sounded like Nooj had respect for him!

"I too stand by my friend through this." Baralai butted in. "And I want all of Spira to realise both the Youth League and New Yevon will support the Machine Faction through this. Thank you." That was Baralai, always the polite one. Gippal grinned at his two friends and saw Tidus stand beside them, silently showing his support for what it was worth. Shelinda just nodded and turned back to the camera.

"Well there you have it! The Machine Faction is investigating the attack with the support of both main groups of Spira. Will there work show success? As soon as we know, you will know. This was Shelinda at Luca."

At midday when the group met up again no one seemed to be in a happy mood. Rikku was still deep in her thoughts, Gippal too. Paine also noticed her boyfriend and Nooj were talking over their new sense of involvement and support during the investigation. Paine gave a rare smile in their direction as she listened.

"I'll stay at Mushroom Rock as planned so I can keep a close eye on the investigation and contact you in Bevelle."

"Yes, thank you. I have to return and explain to New Yevon what this involvement will mean to us all." He glanced over at Paine. "Will you be joining me?" Paine frowned slightly with indecision.

"It depends on what the Faction have found out." She said eventually. "They might need my help." Baralai just nodded and slid his hand in hers before she could protest. Paine smiled again, at least something good was still happening.

Sorry if you thought I was being cruel to Shelinda, but I was. I hate her. She is two faced and annoying. All the way through the first game she's like 'marry Seymour, screw your happiness' and then suddenly she's all nice in ffX-2.

By the way, if you can guess what Gippal needs the medicine for I will give you the chance to be a character that will flirt with either Gippal or Rikku (depending which gender you are) at the thunder plains. You have till next week cause it's revealed in the next chapter.