Sorry for those of you who are upset with me, but I plan for this to be kind of a multi-crossover. I'm going to bring in anything I can think of, if it works. Also, sorry, but no foursome with Ranma. Sorry I take so long updating; I've been having computer trouble. I hope these chapters are worth the wait. I like the way they're going, anyway, and I finally know where I'm going. Sorry, but it looks like it's going to be a long one. Personally, I love reading long fics. Please stick with me.

There are a few reviews who encouraged me the most to post again, but I won't mention them by name because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. You're all very helpful, of course, but some people's words were very inspiring. I've had a bad couple weeks, but then today I went back and read over all my reviews. Now I feel better and am going to reward you. So thanks, beloved reviews.

Warnings: I own nothing. This is yaoi. Don't eat yellow snow.

Ranma looked at the note in his hand and could barely stop from sighing. It never ended.

Son-in-law,

Come to the Cat Café tomorrow at the hour of seven or face certain doom.

-Cologne

He didn't like it; didn't like how he was the key pawn in everyone's sick little games. But if he didn't show up, there was no telling what the old ghoul would do, and it was his responsibility as a martial artist to prevent his personal problems from hurting innocent people. Cologne could easily do something bad to Akane to punish him, or worse, put another of her strange curses on him or someone else.

The Cat Café was busy with a large dinner crowd, people swarming around the entrance and waiting area. Ranma had had no idea Shampoo's little restaurant had grown so popular. Feeling depressed, he slid through the swarming mass to take a seat in the waiting area, trying to gather his thoughts as he did before a battle.

His concentration was broken as his reflection was shattered by the sound of two familiar voices. Nearly directly before him stood Kurama and Yusuke, both unaware of his presence. The redhead wore a Chinese-style outfit of emerald green and black, while Yusuke was dressed in black slacks and a ruby-colored long-sleeved shirt that closely hugged his body, dark hair pulled into a low tail that was neatly done, for once. He also wore his usual fuzzy belt and black bandana.

"Stop fidgeting; you'll do fine." Kurama was saying quietly, fixing Yusuke's collar. "Hiei and I will be nearby if you need assistance."

"Good thing she picked a public place for us to meet. At least she can't put up to much of a fuss when she finds out about…what did your mom say when she found out about you and Hiei?"

"Are you kidding?" Kurama laughed. "I have not told her, and never plan to. Her generation has no understanding of such things, and being merely human, she has little to no capabilities to accept what she has been raised to hate."

"Then why do I have'ta tell my mom?"

Their conversation trailed off as Hiei approached and informed them it would only be a few more moments before their table was ready.

Ranma stood and approached, deciding to say hello. The last thing he needed was more enemies, and people in Nerima tended to become very touchy over small things such as not receiving a greeting in public.

"So, what brings you all here?" He asked awkwardly, not used to a conversation where he wasn't being threatened or glomped.

"Yusuke is here to meet with his mother, aren't you, my dear?"

"Shut up, Kurama."

"You gave in then?"

"Yeah." He sighed, shooting the redhead a glare. "I just can't live without candy, damn it."

"But…it was only this morning that he threatened to take it away…"

"The kitten really likes candy." Hiei answered with a smirk. "It was only a matter of time before we had the little feline swearing to do our bidding. Isn't that right, kitten?"

A low growl sounded in Yusuke's throat. "Damn it, Hiei…"

"I don't understand." Ranma was sure he was missing something. "What's so great about candy?"

The three only looked at him for a few moments, before Yusuke and Hiei began to snicker, turning away. Kurama chuckled quietly a moment before answering, an amused smirk on his face. "I believe you misunderstood; we were using the word 'candy' to represent something else because we did not wish to cause trouble with our classmates."

"And it meant…?"

"Were you dropped on your head as a child?" Yusuke asked rudely, taking one of Kurama's arms and placing it around his shoulders.

"Several times actually. My dad…never mind."

"We meant sex." Kurama explained, still looking amused. "Hiei and I swore to cut him off from the steamy sex he so enjoys until he agreed to see his mother."

"Understand now?"

Ranma felt his jaw drop, but before he could ask anything or respond in any way, a nervous-looking waitress announced that their tables were ready. Hiei stalked after her as Kurama took a moment to squeeze Yusuke's hand before following to the table. Pausing to take a deep breath, Yusuke headed toward a different table where a woman who could only be his mother sat, back facing the entrance.

Ranma barely noticed when, with a squeal, Shampoo latched onto him.

Yusuke sat fidgeting nervously as his mother chattered happily about her new job and the renovations she was having done to the house.

"And we can do anything you want to your room, of course, anything at all. And did I mention I can afford that game system you wanted for Christmas three years ago? Oh, sweetie, everything's going to be different, I sear it."

Yusuke couldn't bear the sight of her. "I'm not coming home, mom." He informed her quietly, eyes on the table. There was a very high chance his emotions had caused them to change color. Kitty-cat eyes would bring way too many questions he didn't want to answer. The subject matter his lover was forcing him to bring up was bad enough on its own without adding a 'hey, by the way, mom, I'm a demon now' to the mix.

"Now, don't be silly, Yusuke." She laughed. "It was very nice of your friend to take you in while I was having problems, and I really appreciate it, but surely his parents are ready for you to go home, don't you agree?" She reached across the table to grasp his hand. "I was so thankful when that sweet Kuwabara boy told me where you had been and how to get in touch with you."

"Kurama doesn't live with his mother anymore. It's just him and me and Hiei." He said, fighting the urge to pull his hand away.

"Then you certainly should come home! It isn't right for three boys to be living together without any kind of adult supervision."

"We're all adults, mom."

She was no longer listening, too busy was she watching something going on on the other side of the restaurant. "Is that…is that a wedding going on over there? The groom seems so reluctant! Oh!" Yusuke's mom let forth a sudden exclamation. "Look at the size of the mallet that tomboy is holding! Does she plan to hit the boy?"

"Mom, can you please pay attention?"

"Well, I'm sorry dear, but I've never seen such a ruckus. Is it some type of dinner theater?"

Yusuke followed her gaze to the scene of the chaos, and decided to ignore it, even if it did appear that his classmates Ranma and Akane seemed to be somehow involved. And it was a big mallet which Akane wielded. "Mother, I'm trying to tell you something very important!" He told her firmly, hoping Kurama was watching.

He was going to make that bastard pay…

"You're hair has grown so long." She tsked, turning her attention back on her son and reaching out to touch a long, silken strand. "First thing, we'll have to get you a proper haircut!"

He jerked away from her, searching the cafe desperately for the table his traitorous lovers sat at. Kurama's eyes were on him, steady and encouraging.

Damn him.

"Mom!" Yusuke shouted.

"What?" She blinked, taken aback. She smiled. "Go ahead, baby, I'm listening."

"YOU'RE WHAT!"

Ranma froze in avoiding an attack from Cologne to stare at the sudden outburst, as did everyone else in the restaurant, his fight forgotten even by the persistent Shampoo. It was from the table Yusuke had gone to; the woman there had leapt to her feet and was screaming some sort of nonsense, waving her arms.

"A DRINK; SOMEONE GET ME A DRINK, DAMN IT! HOW IN HELL CAN YOU BE GAY, YUSUKE? Ohhhhhh!" She wailed, oblivious to her son's attempts to calm her. "My baby's a homosexual! Where's a gun? I have to go kill myself immediately!"

The restaurant had grown completely silent but for a few hushed whispers. Raging battles the people or Nerima were accustomed to, but real issues they had no precedent for.

Yusuke was hissing something, his arms tight around his mother's waist as she lunged for a steak knife sitting on the table beside them as Hiei and Kurama hurried to Yusuke's aide like teammates in a battle.

Akane, Shampoo, and Cologne all had their attention suddenly diverted to the three boys – who seemed to be having quite some trouble subduing the out of control woman, who had rounded on her son's lovers and was attempting to scratch their eyes out. He had tried to take Akane's arm and suggest they slip away while the fight was at a lull, but she had shook him off, staring at the new disruption with starry eyes.

It just figured that they were all yaoi fan girls.

Reluctantly, Ranma decided that it was his duty as a martial artist to try to help.

"All right," Yusuke sighed, "Let's just set her down here. I don't want her to be near anything flammable, breakable, or sharp when she wakes up." The tall, black fuzzy ears atop his head twitched a little as he sat down on the ground before the park bench his mother had been laid upon. He sent a glare up at Kurama. "Is it time for me to tell you I told you so yet?"

Ranma had found the same difficulty his classmates had in calming Yusuke's mother. He had begun to think that their task would truly prove impossible, but then Yusuke's bandana had been knocked off his head in the fray, exposing ears that were nearly too-catlike for Ranma's comfort. While the traumatized mother stared at the ears a waiter who was also staring had stumbled, dumping o pitcher of ice water on Ranma's head.

The dual shocks of her son's ears and Ranma's quick sex change had been too great for the woman, and she had passed out.

"So…what now?" Ranma asked, pretending she wasn't uncomfortable as she sat cross-legged on the ground nearby.

Yusuke scratched one of his ears fiercely. "We wait, I guess. Damn, this is gonna be hell to explain."

"Did you forget to take your flea medicine again, my dear?"

"Leave him alone." Hiei's expression was closed off, eyes strange. Ranma thought he might be feeling a little guilty for helping to force Yusuke to see his mother.

"So uh…" Ranma trailed off as Yusuke turned a tired glare on him.

"I don't want to talk about it, miss."

"Hey now! That's uncalled for!"

The dark haired boy shook his head. "Why don't you just head home? I appreciate the help, but we have it under control now. In fact, if we leave her here, she might just pass it off as a drug trip or something…"

"We cannot simply leave her…" Kurama trailed off as Yusuke's tired, defeated eyes were turned on him once more.

Shaking his head, Yusuke stood and began walking away, Hiei following closely. Relutantly, Kurama did the same.

To Be Continued

Had trouble with this chapter. Think I'll just leave this here.