Words left unspoken
Hey! Thanks all for guessing and I was so thrilled when someone actually got it! I was worried I didn't drop enough hints so it would be really stupid when I let it out but I know its believable now. There was a few hints in the story starting from chapter one and I'm sure you'll be able to stop them once you know. The winner is...Tanya Takaishi! You were right, lol. Now you have the chance to flirt with Gippal in the Thunder Plains! Tell me any details you want in okay, if not I'll just think of something.
This chapter is another weird one, Rikku might seem a bit OOC later on but I need her to do this! So please don't hate me for it. If you all hate it then I'll change it but be nice about it, I get angry with rude reviewers sometimes and am not proud of it. Just warning you.
I'm 17 now! Yay!
Back of Beyond: Not as silly as you think cause it is a drug to help with his condition, lol.
Marty78: I take it you mean don't like the pair, I just think they suit each other, Nooj deserves to be tortured, lol. She gives him a reason to stop being a deathseeker.
Angel Taisha: I just needed to put that in to show they are still all good friends after the whole tension during Vegnagun. Plus I think Gippal needed to know someone actually liked him at that point, lol. I just don't like Shelinda, she's worse than Dona. At least Dona shows some decent side to herself but Shelinda is just...I just don't like her.
Violet121: Well seen as Tanya won she can now give me some details and I'll create a character based on her to flirt with Gippal, lol. I just like doing stuff like that to see whether people are really into the story.
Master Thief: Yay! Someone who agrees! I really don't like her! Plus I needed the harsh issues against the Al Bhed to be brought up and she was the only one who could do it with a worldwide impact.
Torii: lol, sort of. You'll see. Glad you liked it, I just thought it might be boring cause there hasn't been any action for a while. So expect some in chapter 12.
Milkie: You thought it was touching. Bless you, I guess I did it right then. I needed to have him see he still have friends otherwise he might have gone insane, lol. I guess he will have bloody hands still until he explains the rest of it...which could be a while.
Cute-Kitty2: true, but I still don't like her. She's too much of a suck up, the type who'd turn on you in a second. It's just my view of her.
Tanya Takaishi: Well I figured with Rikku being Rikku she'd act then think later, lol. So that's how I did her reaction. The talking bit could be a while but they will still be persistent. Glad you liked the Nooj standing up for him, it just seemed right and I wanted to show that Nooj had a nice side cause I don't think I've shown that very well yet. And yep you were right! So you can flirt with Gippal now, lol. Tell me any details you want about your character added in okay? And I'm glad the grammer was better! I'll keep trying with it.
DecidingBark: Everyday? Lol, I'm honoured. And I'm glad you like it! Sorry about the shortness, I couldn't think of anything to write much for the Luca part and I couldn't write any more because of the Gippal thoughts at each chapter beginning. As for the guess that was my second choice for him to suffer from. So you have the same ideas as me, lol.
Rikkux: Glad you like it! Afraid not but they were such cool guesses!
Starling94: lol, thank you! You are the main reason this story made it this far! The other fic idea is still being awkward but I'm definitely going to do it. Wanna be the beta for that one too?
Gip-Rik: Glad you like and that you can picture it! Maybe we can start the hate Shelinda club, lol. Science is boring so I don't blame you, lol.
Rikkufan: Don't worry about it, at least you were honest and you had a fair reaction to it. I do? Phew, that's my main worry. Thanks!
JadedSnake: Glad you like it! I am a Gippal/Rikku obsessive, lol. I don't think there's a fic about them I haven't reviewed. And I can see what you mean about the one eyed men, lol. My cousin is engaged to one. Clasko is kind of annoying but I can see his intentions so he's not as bad. His obsession is chocobos, but I just wish he wasn't so whimy about it, lol.
Rikku-chan: Thanks! So would I! lol, he's too cute not to, although I think Rikku would want a fight over him.
Meow the chibi neko: lol, don't worry she will. This IS Rikku were talking about.
Realisations
Sleep, how I miss it. That's one of the realisations I always seem to come across. You see I love a lot of things but I have my list:
3) Machina
2) People sleeping
1) You.
Sounds weird huh? Well it would to most except you. You already know about my obsession with the natural sleep, the sleep I have never experienced. I guess everyone always longs for what they can't have, just like we do when we long to be together.
I always used to think sleep would be the one thing I longed for above everything else. Don't all people always long for what the know they can never experience? For so long that's what I believed. The frustration I have to feel has been awful over only getting the rest I need when I was either: knocked out, exhausted to the point of collapse or needed to drink the 'medicine', sleeping potion. I thought more than anything I would just long more than anything else to be able to lay on my bed, put my head on the pillow and drift off, just like everyone else.
Sleeping disorders suck, trust me on that. But I've found something that sucks even more. Lucky me.
And it's losing you. Having you hate me.
It may not seem like a big thing, but lets just try and make it more clear. I'll describe how much I hate having insomnia and you just imagine what something I see as worse must be like.
Okay, now I'm sounding stupid. Blame the lack of sleep! It turns my thoughts to rabble. I really hope we stop at the Mi'then Agency before I end up dropping dead from exhaustion...
Someone's trying to talk to me and I'm not even listening. See what insomnia does? It makes me a walking zombie but in reality I just look like an asshole. I'm a jackass, not an asshole. The difference? I have no idea. But I try to add jackass to my everyday personality, I don't try to be an unsociable asshole.
Where was I again? Anyway, see how crazy my head is right now? It's a lot worse when I'm thinking of you, you just get me so confused when I'm not near you, when I hurt you in any way.
You know the other awful thing about sleeping disorders? Just like being an Al Bhed it makes you feel separate from everyone else. Think about it, you can visit your little world of dreams whenever you fall asleep. I don't know whether I actually do but when I'm in a drugged sleep I never remember any dreams. The only time I remember dreams is either when I faint cough I mean collapse, or when I get knocked out by someone else. Then I just wake up with a headache and don't really give a hoot about any stupid dreams.
I know I always say me not dreaming is a good thing, but I just find it kind of...isolating? Everyone else dreams except me. I have never had a happy dream, ones people think of when times are bad, the ones that give you hope. I don't have them. So that interview with Shelinda didn't help the feeling of Al Bhed doom go away. Only you could do that for me.
Except you can't be there for me anymore. Not now. I've hurt you too much and I can never count on seeing you happy while around me ever again.
That's the one thing worse than insomnia to me, losing you. The things I love have all turned against me and you're all I can think about.
3) A machina attacks Besaid
2) No one has times to sleep, there's just no time to take a potion and snooze for twelve hours anymore.
1) You hate me. You really do hate me.
Chocobo? What's a chocobo got to do with anything? What the hell? Did you just..?
"Gippal, are you okay?" Baralai asked for the fourth time. Gippal just grunted, looking more like a zombie than a person.
"Maybe he doesn't like interviews." Nooj grumbled as he continued as shuffle down the Highroad.
"Look! A chocobo!" Rikku suddenly yelled almost causing the young praetor to have a heart attack. Rikku had mostly been quiet since they left Luca, obviously she must have just found her reserved cheerfulness again. Baralai smiled at her nervously.
"Rikku, there's a flan near it." He warned as Rikku went closer to the yellow bird. Rikku just waved a dismissive hand at him before moving dangerously closer.
"Rikku, be careful." Her cousin said worriedly. What was she doing? She hadn't even moved to draw her daggers! It was as if...
A loud bang went out through the Highroad and Baralai turned to see Gippal still aiming his gun at where the flan had just been. A few moments passed where no one moved until Gippal seemed to snap out of his trance and stride angrily over to Rikku.
"Fryd tu oui drehg oui'na tuehk?" Gippal yelled, Baralai glanced at Paine for a translation but she was too busy watching the scene.
"Lusa uvv ed Gippal! Ed fyc uhmo y vmyh, E luimt ryja aycemo gemmat ed!" Rikku yelled back, obviously very angry.
"Hud fedruid y faybuh oui luimth'd! Oui'na kaddehk duu femt vun ouin ufh kuut! Oui sekrd aht ib kaddehk pytmo rind ev oui tu cdivv mega dryd!" Rikku just laughed at his words and Baralai knew it wasn't a nice laugh. What was going on? Why hadn't he learnt Al Bhed when Gippal had offered?
"Drec lusehk vnus oui! E pad oui't muja du caa cusauha kad rind!" Gippal sighed heavily and shook his head tiredly.
"You're going to end up like her." He muttered under his breath, only Baralai was near enough to have heard.
"Are you okay Rikku?" Yuna asked anxiously, the Al Bhed in question just grinned and began bouncing about as if nothing had happened.
"You bet! Just meanie Gippal spoiling my fun." She said cheerfully before skipping off in front. Gippal sighed and knelt onto the ground.
"I'll catch up with you guys in a minute." He whispered. The others just nodded not daring to ask about the argument. It wasn't until they were a few minutes ahead of Gippal before Baralai asked what it had all been about.
"Gippal was concerned she'd get hurt and Rikku...didn't appreciate it." Paine said bluntly.
"I don't understand." Baralai said quietly. "Ever since Kilika she' avoided him and...it's as if she hates him. But why?"
"I don't know." Paine said shortly. "But it's their problem to sort out. All we can do is...put them in certain situations?" The innocent look on her face caused him to grin.
"Paine the matchmaker, who'd have thought."
Rikku was still ahead of the group and cursing Gippal continually when she finally reached the Travel Agency. Finally. It had taken forever walking with Nooj and thanks to the machina attack they were all put under investigation all over Spira. Stupid machina.
"But this is what I want isn't it? I want adventure, I don't need anything else. I don't need anyone else."
She had come to the decision that forcing Gippal to tell the truth was stupid. He was stupid. If he wanted to lie that was up to him, it had nothing to do with her anymore.
"I don't need him, I just want adventure." She told herself, far from convinced. But why should she feel otherwise? Why did life on the road suddenly seem so awful now?
Rikku had no idea what she had been thinking approaching that flan with no weapon. She had just...felt so tired. The thought of another battle had been too painful, another mindless fight. For once she had just wanted to stroke the chocobo. A boring task, but it had been the only one she wanted to do.
Oh my fayth I'm becoming boring! Rikku thought. Yet she didn't feel sad or angry. She should feel angry right? Adventure was all she'd ever wanted but now the thought of it made her sick.
That flan...she could have been hurt and she hadn't cared, she just wanted life to slow down a little. She wanted her calm to come.
Rikku sighed and decided she couldn't be bothered to wait five minutes for the others to catch up. It was nearly dark and she just wanted to sleep. Maybe she could concentrate on staying angry after some rest.
"Ah." Rin exclaimed as she entered. "I was wondering if you'd be coming, I have good news for you and Gippal."
Gippal sighed and pinched himself in order to force his feet to keep moving. This was ridiculous. He needed to drink his medicine and have a half day worth of rest. He wasn't going to last much longer...
Paine and LeBlanc had been talking together most of the time and it was beginning to worry him. They were complete opposites, what were they planning?
"Finally." Nooj grumbled as they saw the inn in the distance. Gippal smiled feeling a little better about the world. This, of course, was when the two women decided to act.
"You've been looking kind of down since Kilika love. You okay?"
"My father died." Gippal pointed out harshly.
"Yes I know but that still doesn't explain what's wrong with the perky one."
"Lance is a good friend to her." Gippal stated not noticing he'd used the present tense.
"Then why is she angry at you?" Paine asked nicely, well, as nicely as Paine could get. Gippal shrugged as he quickly came up with a likely theory she'd believe.
"My new system failed and the ship crashed, maybe she sees it as my fault."
"The crew told me it was overridden." Paine stated.
"Which shouldn't have been able to happen." Gippal said with no emotion.
"You couldn't have known. Rikku knows that."
"I knew there was a machina at Besaid, I should have told them to stay there no matter what."
"You were dead love." LeBlanc butted in while waving her fan about. "Anyway, you didn't give the order for them to come back."
"I was dead." Gippal shot back. "Lance automatically takes command."
"But he knew you were alive." Yuna spoke up causing Gippal to stop walking.
"Yeah, and he came to see if I was okay. He died because he cared." No one challenged this, no one knew what to challenge it with. Except one unexpected person.
"So you're saying Rikku is mad at you because your father was killed while he was coming to see whether you were okay?" Tidus questioned.
"He's not my real father. My real father died twenty years ago, Rikku knew Lance longer than me." No one noticed his mistake, they were too preoccupied with the matter at hand.
"If that were true she wouldn't have gone to the temple to comfort you." Tidus pointed out. Everyone looked at him amazed.
"He's right." Baralai spoke up. "You must have said something in the temple to her so she'd hate you. But why?" Typical Baralai, he looks for the reasons instead of the actual event. Just like he did when Nooj shot them.
"Because he's afraid she'll get hurt like Lance did." Yuna said softly. Gippal groaned.
"I am still here you know." Bad move.
"Are you completely stupid?" Paine asked angrily. "Rikku can take care of herself, thinking you're jinxed is just an excuse of being afraid of rejection." Did everyone know about his feeling for Rikku? It was embarrassing!
"Look what happened with the flan." Gippal whispered. The others looked away then, they had nothing to say now.
Rikku was acting like his mother had, so fed up of her life she didn't care anymore about what happened. If Rikku got hurt...what was he suppose to do? He'd protected his mum but she still kept doing it. Was Rikku so fed up of danger too because of him? Maybe...
"Gippal!" Rikku yelled running out of the Agency and sprinting towards them. Her voice sounded urgent and...happy? What the...
"Cid's girl what's going on?" He asked as she reached them, she was out of breath but smiling widely. Such a beautiful smile.
"Remember the crew said Lance fell off over Mi'hen?" Gippal winced at her words, he wasn't about to forget that anytime soon. "Well he's here! He's alive! Rin rescued him and he's alive!" Gippal just blinked.
"Cyo fryd?" (Say what?)
"He's alive!"
Lance propped himself up carefully in the bed and smiled as Gippal and Rikku entered. Gippal was a real mess. He looked as if he hadn't slept in a week!
"Rao get." (Hey kid) He said weakly, he really did seem so young and vulnerable right now...then something happened he'd never expect from the Machine Faction. Lance gasped slightly at the strength of his hug, as if he was never going to let go. Lance could hear Rikku giggle happily.
"E'mm mayja oui dfu ymuha." (I'll leave you two alone.) She said and left before Lance could beg her for help.
"Gippal when's the last time you got some sleep?" Lance asked once released.
"Oui'na naymmo rana?" (You're really here?) Lance smiled getting worried his son was about to cry, Gippal had never hugged him and had never, ever cried. He'd only done that near Lidea. She was the one he'd shared the despair with over his past. Lance had shared his anger.
Thankfully Gippal wasn't about to start crying with him now. Their relationship was too manly for that.
"I knew you weren't dead." He said happily. "It just didn't make any sense. I thought I was cursed and I told Rikku..." He stopped and paled. "Ur cred E druikrd oui fana tayt." (Oh shit I thought you were dead.)
"Slow down Gippal." Lance said loudly. "Now first things first, you take that medicine and get some sleep. Then when you wake up you can explain the mess you're in." Gippal nodded wearily obviously too exhausted to argue.
"E's kmyt oui'na rana." (I'm glad you're here.)
"It's been ten hours, how long do they need?" Nooj grumbled at seven in the morning. They had arrived at nine last night and hadn't seen Gippal since.
"He probably went to sleep." Rikku told him. "When Gippal's asleep he really does sleep. Twelve hours I think, no more no less." She bit into her toast casually.
"What do you mean?" Paine asked none too pleasantly. She wasn't a morning person.
"You've never noticed it? But you guys were in the Crimson Squad together!"
"I remember." Baralai put in politely. Nooj grumbled for his answer. "But why?" Rikku stopped eating then, looking sheepish.
"I don't think he'd want you to know."
"Well you've said most of it." Nooj accused her with a glare. "Might as well say the rest."
"It's no big deal!" Rikku insisted. "Just because he has a sleeping disorder doesn't mean he's weaker in any way."
"Sleeping disorder?" Nooj said with a disinterested smirk. "I thought you were going to say something worse."
"...It makes sense." Baralai said. "He hasn't slept since Besaid, he couldn't. We didn't stop long enough for him to be able to sleep."
"What does he take?" Paine asked casually. It was pretty obvious to Nooj no one really cared he'd kept it a secret.
"A sleeping potion of his own recipe." Rin said as he sat down with them. "He's a good Alchemist once he has access to the proper ingredients. I believe it was a very good thing for his health to come to Home when he did. At least there he could make what he needed to sleep."
The rest of the conversation was too boring for Nooj to bother listening to. Instead he finished his breakfast as quickly as he could before leaving the room and going outside. He was determined to have the Al Bhed working here fix up a hover for him. He needed to get back to Mushroom Rock as soon as possible, he had something very important to do in order to clear any further suspicion of his friend. There was no time to waste on discussing Gippal's insomnia.
"You've really messed up this time." Lance told a newly refreshed Gippal. He had been in the room for fourteen hours now. Twelve had been spent sleeping and two going over the events that had happened to them both since they'd last seen each other.
"I was sleep deprived and grieving. I thought I was cursed." Gippal said in defence.
"You're an idiot."
"And you're not helping." He waited impatiently as Lance slowly sat up in bed so they were eye to eye.
"It's simple." He began slowly. "You go tell her the truth. She forgives you. You solve the mystery. You kill the bad guy. You make sure she doesn't hurt herself. You keep her close to you. Then, when it's all over you marry her. You have lots of children and she won't have to even leave home to have an adventure with your two's offspring around!"
"I like that plan." Gippal grinned. "But I don't think it will be that easy."
"Of course it won't! She'll make you suffer over it for the rest of your life! Why do you think I never married?" Gippal just laughed and he saw Lace smile unwillingly. "Now go away! And don't come back till you've finished the mission and I have a future daughter-in-law."
It was soon obvious Gippal was back to his normal self...unfortunately. Him and Rikku still seemed to be keeping their distance but beside that everything was fine...almost.
"Get me down!" Baralai yelled as the others just continued to laugh. He clutched onto the yellow bird for dear life as it sped down the Highroad. "I want to walk!"
"That will take too long!" Nooj called over happily from his machina. Rin had agreed one machina be started up but everyone else was to ride on a chocobo. A hover was too big to start up again quickly so Nooj sat in a two-seater machina with Gippal driving. It wasn't fair.
"We're almost there." Paine told him reassuringly. Normally Baralai would have smiled but he didn't dare lift his head.
"You'll get used to it." Yuna laughed. Baralai just groaned and kept his face buried in the feathers. He tried to think of something different. Something positive.
Paine loves me He thought and an instant smile sprang onto his hidden face. And I'll prove just how much I love her when we reach Bevelle.
"Hey Baralai, you can get down now." Gippal said with a chuckle. Baralai didn't release his grip. "Dr. P I think you'll have to lure him down. Maybe you should put on your Lady Luck." Baralai smirked when he heard a slap being delivered. "Ouch, I was only giving ideas!"
Rikku wandered near Mushroom Rock as they waited for Baralai to get off the chocobo. It was just too funny to watch and she'd nearly suffocated from laughing so hard. Everyone else was saying goodbye to LeBlanc, Nooj, Ormi and Logos while watching the hilarious scene.
Rikku knew she was being rude but she just couldn't take saying goodbye right now. She just wished they could stay too and forget about all this. She...wanted to settle down.
"Drana, E ytseddat ed." (There, I admitted it.) She told herself while stomping a foot. She wanted to settle down like Yuna and Paine had, she wanted adventure to be a second choice. She...she wanted Gippal. "I guess I do need him."
"Need who loves?" LeBlanc said from behind her with a knowing grin.
"What are you doing sneaking up on people!" Rikku burst. LeBlanc just indicated to her henchmen and Nooj coming towards them.
"We've said our goodbyes and we're going. It's a pity, I wanted to see how it works out with you and the one-eyed one." Rikku just smiled politely. "Come one Noojie lets go." She said sounding like a five year old.
"You go ahead." He told her surprisingly gently. "I need a word with Rikku." LeBlanc did as she was told without question yet...there seemed to be a knowing look in her eyes.
"Um, what's up?" Rikku asked with a nervous giggle.
"Your performance with the flan earlier." He said shortly, waiting for an explanation.
"Yeah, um, I know it was stupid but, I dunno..."
"Couldn't stand to fight any longer?"
"Well...it's more like I just wanted to do something other than fighting all the time." Nooj just nodded slightly.
"Then I would suggest, after this is over, you take a break from it. No fighting whatsoever until you begin to feel differently."
"But what about until then? I don't want to just concentrate on adventure and fighting anymore!"
"You have your friends with you, try and think of it as a...catching up trip. Maybe you can discover old secrets." He smirked at this making it pretty obvious who he was talking about. Rikku smiled fully at this, even Nooj was able to see it!
"As long as they're here I can fight." Rikku reassured him. "Thanks!" Nooj just nodded once at her before he began shuffling off towards Mushroom rock. Who'd have thought Nooj would want to help her!
"Rikku!" Yuna called happily as everyone came towards her. "You missed all the fun!"
"It wasn't funny." Baralai grumbled next to Paine who was looking lovingly at him. This Paine was kind of creepy.
"Oac ed fyc!" (Yes it was!) Gippal said still laughing. He seemed a lot happier now.
"Let's just go." Baralai suggested. "We should reach Djose by nightfall." Everyone began walking but Rikku lingered a little longer, watching how happy they all were. As long as she had her friends she could fight, she had a reason to.
But what about later? Yuna and Tidus weren't on this mission. Paine was most likely going to Bevelle with Baralai. Who would she fight with then?
"Cid's girl." Came a voice beside her that caused her to jump. Apparently Gippal had lingered too. "I know you hate me right now..."
"I don't hate you." She said quietly as they began walking after the others. "I'm " They fell into silence, watching their friends who were still a little ahead.
"Syopa E lyh lmayn ed ib." (Maybe I can clear it up.) He whispered in her ear. "E'mm aqbmyeh ajanodrehk yd Djose." (I'll explain everything at Djose.) Rikku looked at his face, such a caring face. He just couldn't be a killer, right?
"E't mega dryd." (I'd like that.) She whispered back just as they caught up with the others.
Rikku smiled happily then. She may not have all her friends beside her this time, but no matter what she knew she'd always have Gippal.