A/N: Wow! All the reviews! I know I said I'd post yesterday, but I went out on a boat with my friends family and I was tired after all the swimming and tubing that I went to bed earlier than usual. I'll try to post more later today or tomorrow, we'll see. :D Glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter. This one was particularly fun for me to write. :D You'll know what I mean after you read it.

Chapter 13

Rachel

Jake shoved me up the final steps and I allowed him to. I followed the others silently as we snuck back to our hiding place to de-morph.

My anger, rage, sorrow, worry, and depression weighed heavily on my mind as I demorphed. It was all boiling up inside me and I knew the cause.

As soon as I was human, I turned to my cousin. Jake, the leader of the group, the one responsible for getting all of us out alive, the one who failed to get Tobias out. I stormed right up to him, and stopped only once we stood toe-to-toe, glaring into each others eyes.

He looked physically intimidating with his athletic build and me with my supermodel build, didn't look that intimidating. I looked angry, rageful, or about to scratch someone's eyes out. To the onlooker, they would be afraid for me, afraid Jake would do some damage. But they didn't know me. Not one bit. Jake wouldn't hurt me, but I would hurt him.

"You. Let. Him. Go." I said, deadly.

"I know." He said and I could see the self-pity in his gaze. I couldn't have cared less.

"I could have saved him. We could have saved him." I said, getting angrier with him. He said nothing. "Don't you care? God damn it Jake! He could be…He could be…" I chocked up and felt hot tears sting my eyes. I glanced down. I couldn't look in my cousins face and let him see me cry. Not right now.

"I know I lost Tobias. And Ax. It was my call Rachel! You can be mad at me all you want, but we have to re-group. We have to rest." I snapped my head back up, nearly hitting my head on his chin.

"We're not resting! We're not going to relax while Tobias might…"

"Rachel! We have to plan!"

"Yeah, I see how well your plan worked today!" I snapped. Jake hung his head. Good, I thought. Let him be ashamed.

"I know I probably messed up Rachel. I do care. I know what happened to Tobias could possibly be my fault. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't worry about him. But I'm his friend, and his leader. I know Tobias is a fighter. I know Tobias can take care of himself, and that is why I could leave him down there until we can regroup to save him, even if it tears me up with guilt to do so." Jake paused before continuing. "So Rachel, if you want to be mad? Fine. I don't blame you. But I am NOT going back down there without a well thought out plan." He pointed towards Cassie and Marco behind me. "I am NOT going to send them down there and risk their lives without a plan. We can't help Tobias if we get killed in the process." He stopped and looked at everyone. "We go home. We eat dinner. We hang with the parents. We meet back tonight at nine, Cassie's barn. We'll discuss our plan there."

"You expect me to sit around for four hours wondering if"

"Rachel! I know, but we all have to"

"Get the Chee to take our places!"

"Rachel! I can't deal with you right now! Tom's suspicious enough! I don't need a Chee pretending to be me right now!" He stopped and took a few steps back, looking at each of us before continuing, his eyes resting on mine. "We meet again at nine."

I glared at Jake, I wanted to hit him. I don't know what stopped me.

"Rachel?" Cassie's calm voice said. I spun around to face her for the first time.

"You know Jake's right." She said. I rolled my eyes at her and left. Cassie and the others made sense, but I was beyond the point of reasoning right now. I walked mechanically home, thinking of Tobias, wondering what torture the Visser was putting him through as we sat at home. Safe. Planning.

I walked in my front door and went up to my room and lay down on my bed. I buried my face in my pillow and let out an anguished scream that was muffled to any outsider. I felt tears prick my eyes and a knock at my door.

"What!" I snapped at my little sister as she opened my door.

"Mom said to tell you dinner is done." She said and left, leaving my door open.

I sighed and followed her downstairs. My mom went all out for dinner tonight. She actually made BBQ chicken, cheese potatoes, corn, and a fruit salad. Some of each was piled onto my plate, ready for me to eat. I picked up my fork and poked at the chicken slightly, taking a couple of small bites but not really tasting it. I tried some potatoes, but I felt nauseous all the sudden and just picked at my food with my fork for a few minutes, my mind trailing back to Tobias.

"Rachel?" My mom said. I looked up at her. "Are you feeling ok?" She asked and leaned over to feel my forehead. "You don't feel warm…"

"I'm not hungry." I said before pushing my plat away from me and going upstairs. I got into my room and fell back on my bed when my mom entered the room.

"Rachel, what's wrong?" She demanded.

"I'm not hungry." I repeated.

"Honey, I know you think I don't notice. But you come and you go, some days you're missing clothes or they're torn in some places. Honey, what's going on?"

"nothing." I muttered.

"Are you doing drugs?" She asked. I sat straight up and looked at her incredulously. I had no clue where she got that idea from.

"god no!" I said, feeling disgusted at the suggestion.

"You can tell me honey if you are. It's ok…well, it's not ok that you're doing drugs, but it's ok to tell me. I can try to understand and we can work it out Honey."

"Mom, I am not doing drugs." I stated again, hoping she'd believe me. She sighed.

"you and Jake are getting along better." She stated. What did Jake have to do with anything? I wondered. I shrugged, hoping she'd get to the point.

"Well, just a year or so ago, you hardly ever talked. You even said you didn't have much in common."

"So Jake and I had a few classes together and talk more now. What's the crime there?" I asked. "You talk to your cousins a lot." I added.

"Rachel, are you…well, you seem to spend a lot of your time with Jake lately…" My mind connected the dots. Oh my…lord. My mother thought that….that…

"I AM NOT HAVING SEX WITH JAKE! EW EW EW EW EW!" I yelled. "He's my cousin!" I said with a shudder.

"Honey, you can tell me if you're sexually active with a boy…or well…you know. You can talk to me about it…"

"I am not having sex with anyone. And no, I am not pregnant. And no, I have never had sex and no; I don't feel the need to have sex." I stated, feeling repulsed by the conversation. All this because I wasn't hungry? Why not ask if I was anorexic! Oh god, please don't let that be the next question!

"I just know what being a teenager was like and you know you can talk to me. I wasn't a teen too long ago, remember."

"Ok, Fine, whatever." I said, hoping this conversation would just end.

"Are you sure that you're ok honey?"

"Yes, I'm just not hungry."

She crossed my room and turned around, her arms across her chest. "Close that window, it's freezing in here." She left me alone.

I turned to the window and felt a pang of sadness as I closed it. Tobias would not be flying in that window tonight. Possibly never. I crossed to my desk and opened the drawer and dug around. I pulled out a picture taken just over a year ago. One of Tobias and I. A picture my sister took at random, thinking she had caught me with my boyfriend. (I.E. I stole this from the Animorph TV show, I thought it fit here, so yeah, don't go trying to find this referenced in a book.) We had walked home the day after the night at the construction site. We stood outside on the sidewalk, talking, when Sarah ran outside, holding the camera. Neither of us saw her. We only heard her say "smile" and we turned to look at her as she flashed the camera. Neither of us smiled. I stared at the picture and traced my finger around his outline.

The phone rang and I started, dropping the picture as I let out a gasp of surprise. I stared at the picture as the phone rang twice more before I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rach!" it was Cassie.

"Hey Cass."

"Want to come over and talk?" She asked. I groaned.

"Last time someone wanted to talk, my mom thought I was having sex with Jake." Cassie said nothing. "Long story."

"Obviously." She said, before continuing. "Seriously, want to get together and we can talk about…you know."

"No, it's ok."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll see ya later." I said and hung up. I plopped back on my bed and stare dup at the ceiling.

I'm coming Tobias. Just hold on. I thought.

As always, thank you to GenesisDragon,LucreziaNoin86, rockergurl13, and CASSIE101. A new-time thanks to xiyazaki (I'm glad you like it), and Not Asha For the reviews. I look forward to seeing more in the future (hint hint) Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!