Kim overslept the next morning. After discussing it with Ron over the phone, they resolved to go see Madam Bonita. For laughs, if nothing else.
This idea was reinforced when Becky Biggins the wedding planner came to her condominium uninvited.
"Kimberly dear!" she croaked. "It's so nice to see you again!"
"It really hasn't been that long since last night, Becky."
"Becky Biggins."
"Yes, Becky Biggins."
The woman was wearing a bright red-orange scarf, the color of flames, around her neck. She carried at least a dozen magazines and catalogs in her arms.
"As you can see, dear, I brought samples from all of the hottest designers. Let's get started, though I must warn you picking from so many selections will be tough, tough, tough!"
"Uh, right," Kim said wearily. "Sorry, but I kind of have to go meet someone else."
Becky winked. "Could it be the handsome groom?"
"Both of us have to go. It's a matter relating to the wedding, you see."
"Oh," the woman said dryly. "Be on your way, then. I'll be waiting for your call when you get back. Planning this event will be hard, hard, hard work!"
The red-haired younger woman drove away as fast as she could. Becky Biggins was a little scary.
Outside an old, ugly house near Mt. Middleton:
Ron glanced back and forth from the business card in his hand to the house's ghoulish, broken windows.
"KP, are you sure this is the right address?"
"I don't know. It certainly doesn't look inhabited."
Ron timidly walked up the creaky porch steps and pushed the doorbell button. It rang an eerie, sad tune which the heroes did not know was the national anthem of Kyrgyztan.
"Look, nobody's home. I guess we can leave," Ron turned around hurriedly.
"Hold on. I think somebody's coming," his fiancé said.
"What do you want?" a crinkly voice demanded grumpily.
"We're here to see a Madam Bonita."
The person's demeanor changed instantly.
"Why didn't you say so? Come in, come in!"
The door was opened by a lady wearing brilliant purple robes. Her ears were adorned with oversized earrings in the shapes of moons, stars, and planets so that it looked like two constellations were protruding from her head.
"I thought it was those dratted fools from the homeowners association again," she mumbled, leading them through cobwebbed corridors.
"They say I scare their kids on Halloween- ha! The brats come to my doorstep dressed as vampires and mummies, mocking the supernatural, begging for candy and they expect me to not teach them a lesson!"
Her two visitors did not want to know what kind of 'lessons' she taught the children.
"Here we are!"
They were in a small, cramped room that looked like it used to be a closet. Instead of clothes, the racks were filled with ancient books and oddly shaped objects.
As soon as Kim and Ron entered, the door slammed shut automatically.
"Couldn't we just talk outside?" Ron asked, glancing nervously at the closed door behind him.
"Sit!" Madam Bonita ordered.
They did so without being told twice.
"Now let's get started," she said cheerily as if it was a basket weaving class.
"We never introduced ourselves," Kim realized. "I'm-"
"Ssh! I know who you are. I know all the secrets this universe holds. You are Kate and Don."
"Actually we're-"
"Quiet, Don! You are interrupting my inner connection with the spirits. My senses tell me you are seeking a bond of marriage. I shall gaze into the Great Crystal Ball and reveal to you what the spirits desire."
"We're not really into the whole 'spirit connection' thing-"
"Silence!" Madam Bonita stared ceremoniously at an overturned fishbowl that substituted as the Great Crystal Ball.
She began chanting indecipherable words.
After what seemed like forever, she finally returned to her somewhat normal self.
"The spirits tell me your initial lucky number is 6. The second number is up to you. Don, say any number!"
Ron jumped with fright at her command. "Why can't you order around Kate for once?" he grumbled.
"Say it!"
"Alright, alright! Seven." He chose the first number that came to mind.
"Very well. Your wedding day shall be on June the 7th."
That would not work. June 7 was Kim's birthday.
"That is decided, sealed by the ordinance of the Great Crystal Ball."
"But-"
"And you shouldn't dare break the sealed ordinance of the Great Crystal Ball."
"What happens then?"
"The spirits get angry, they swear vengeance upon you, and your entire wedding from planning to clean-up shall be cursed by the inescapable wrath of the unlucky spirits."
Kim was getting fed up with the sitch by then.
"That's it! I've heard enough. We're out of here!"
"Would you be interested in a palm reading before you go?" the woman tempted.
They shook their heads 'no' vigorously.
"Have it your way. That will be $77.50."
"What do you mean?" Ron asked.
"Well, I offered you the palm reading combo discount but you refused. I charge by the minute and you have been here for 10...no, 11 minutes. Make that $85.25."
"But we're not even taking your stupid advice!"
"Time's a-wasting, Kate and Don. I accept all major credit cards."
After a lot of grumbling, Ron finally handed her a gold card.
They rushed out of the house as fast as they could.
"Come again soon!" Madam Bonita called after them. "Recommend me to all your friends!"
Kim snorted. You'd have to be crazy to recommend that nutcase to anyone.
A few hours later they had narrowed down a date for themselves: June 25th.
"It's perfect!" she told Ron at his condo (there were no planner cooties there). "Doesn't overshadow any birthdays, it's on a Friday- the best day of the week, and nothing to get in the way."
He agreed. "Who needs Madam Bonehead? I've already told them not to schedule any Bueno Nacho meetings then. Your dad said they weren't planning any rocket launches for that day, either."
"You know what the best part is?"
"25 is a nice even number?"
Kim had known him too long to care about correcting that statement.
"No, Wade did some data analyzing and June 25th is the least likely day of the year for any of our foes to strike!"
"No rushing across the world in the middle of the ceremony? That rocks."
"I was thinking the same thing."
Next month, on a mission in South America:
Team Possible battled an army of monkey ninjas in a Peruvian rainforest.
BEEP BEEP BEEBEEP!
"Uh, is this a bad time?" an older Wade appeared on the screen.
The crime fighter dodged an evil monkey. "There have been worse."
"Some woman named Becky wants me to patch her through. Should I?"
"Becky? (She expertly took down another monkey.) That's a definite NO."
Wade nodded and the screen went black.
"Ron, don't let Monkey Fist get away with that statue." Kim jumped and kicked with both legs, knocking down two ninjas and toppling another with her fist.
"Don't worry, Kim. I've got it covered!" Seeing no other way to do it without his mystical monkey powers, Ron jumped on the mutated man's back.
"Get off me, Stoppable!" MF shrieked. Over the years, the villain had gotten more wrinkles, but it's not like he could get any uglier in the first place. They struggled until finally Ron wrestled the statue away.
During this time, Kim had defeated most of the monkeys, one of which had been holding a similar monkey idol. She had five or six ninjasto go.
"KP, I'm open!" Ron shouted.
As Kim raised her arms to throw the stone idol to her sidekick, Monkey Fist noticed something on her gloved hand gleaming in the sunlight.
"Is that- is it really- surely it's not?" He was baffled. "Kim Possible and my arch foe are engaged!"
Ron tripped him with his foot. "That's right, monkey freak!"
The villain rolled over with hideous laughter.
"Forget the statue, this is too good! I can't believe it!"
Kim and Ron glared.
"Oh yeah? Well, somebody told me you were seen on a romantic dinner cruise with DNAmy."
Lord Monty Fisk fumed. "Curse you and your genius friend's superior spying capabilities! I've told you before, I only married Amy so she will assist me in my quest to become supreme monkey master!"
Nobody was buying it. The authorities showed up at last.
"When will the villains learn to quit?" Kim asked the police officer standing beside her.
The man shrugged. He got into a police jeep and drove Monkey Fist and his simian ninjas away.
"Now we have to return this junk to the temple thingy." Ron held the monkey idols.
The Kimmunicator beeped again. It had been updated to a smaller, more convenient size.
"Sitch me, Wade."
"About that woman from earlier, she seemed really anxious- and a bit scary."
"At least she didn't show up at your house! That's when the real horror begins."
"She left a message. I'll get you a printout."
A paper zoomed out of the handheld device. Kim's eyes scanned the note.
"What's it say?" Ron asked curiously.
"She has some ideas for the wedding." Kim's voice quivered with anxiety.
"You know, I can't even begin to imagine what kind of strange things go on in that lady's head. It must be one big circus freak show," pondered Ron.
They stood there quietly for a moment.
Rufus began chattering nonsensically, pointing to the monkey statues.
"Oh, let's get these idols back in their place." The hero was back in her element.
1 hour later, jet skiing through the Mexican Gulf:
"Thanks for the ride, Brick!" Kim shouted over the noise of the water.
"Don't mention it!" yelled a muscular 26-year-old man from the motorboat. "It's the least I can do after you helped me get drafted for the NFL."
"No big!"
Meanwhile Rufus did professional-level tricks on his mini skis and Ron watched open-mouthed.
Soon enough they reached Middleton. Ron was off to Pop Pop Porter's charity fundraiser (all-you-can-eat mini corn dogs, duh!), and Kim headed to Monique's shop at the mall.
"Good job on foiling the monkey dude again, girl!"
"Thanks Mo- wait, how did you know?"
"Cell phone news alert. I keep up to date with the villains' plots too, you know."
Kim smiled.
During coffee breaks, Monique had taken to helping customers find the right clothes.
An extremely petite teenage girl stepped out of a fitting room, frowning. The cargo pants she was wearing practically hung off her thin frame.
"Honey, those are making a scarecrow out of you. Why don't we try size triple zero this time?" the wavy-haired manager advised.
Her friend eyed a short denim skirt.
"She should try a mini," Kim suggested. "It'll lengthen her legs."
A minute later the girl emerged looking much more dazzling.
"Now that is your look!" Monique beamed. "Good advice, Kim!"
Kim brushed off the compliment modestly as usual.
There was a rustling sound in a nearby stall. A moment later, a ghastly woman emerged wearing a black jacket.
Unpleasant shivers went down Kim's spine as she recognized the person.
Monique suppressed a giggle. "Ma'am, you do realize that's from the men's section?"
Becky whipped the coat off.
"Never mind that, manager. Do you realize you are standing next to the Kim Possible? Why, if this is the way they treat celebrities in this store I shall report it to-"
"Yes, I do realize that," Monique cut her off icily. "And if you have a problem with my management-"
Hurriedly Kim intervened.
"Becky, you remember Monique, a very good friend of mine."
"Since high school," Monique added.
Becky did not seem to care. "Well I'm her wedding planner!"
She turned to Kim.
"Now Kimberly, dear, forget this middle-class shop. I just discovered the most beautiful dress straight from the new fashion lines in Paris."
Kim was not listening. She was too busy trying to control her temper.
Remember, she saved Mrs.Stoppable's life. she thought to herself.
You're doing this for Ron's mother.
Do it for Ron's mother.
"Here, look at this clipping of it." Becky shoved a picture into her hands.
The dress she had in mind was a frilly, puke green colored monstrosity.
Monique would die if she saw this thing.
Do it for Ron's mother-whatever her first name is.
"Becky, it's…not what I had in mind."
"Believe me dear, this is the way to go. Of course, your unsophisticated friends might not understand its true beauty, like those horrid little brothers of yours. And your fiancé, well, he's not exactly what I would call refined."
That was the last straw! It was bad enough that the freak was trying to control her wedding. Now she was insulting her friends and family. Kim could not take it anymore.
Becky Biggins babbled on.
Kim felt blood rush to her face. For some reason a kung fu move was coming to mind, the kick that had sent Shego flying through the air one Prom night long ago.
She heard the words coming out of her mouth automatically: "Sorry Becky!"
After that there was only darkness for the wedding planner.
Vague ending for now. Monkey Fist and DNAmy seemed like a probable outcome. Madam B will not return though she will play her own offhandish part.