A/N : As always, thanx muchly to the latest reviewers; Brunettepet, Moonjava, sf-former-mk, Demonica Mills, katie, dared, Mita427, Moluvsnumber17, bella-lover, Baby Girl Geller-Green, spuffygrl, EviLAngeLOfDarkness, and Ape18. Little time jump this chapter, as you will see, plus some Spuffyness and a revelation...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 11 - Discoveries

"Buff!" her cousin called as he tapped on the door to her room, "I got news" he was grinning as he let himself in, until he found she seemed less happy.

"What's up, Xand?" she asked, wiping tear tracks from her cheeks as she sat up on her bed, hiding the picture she'd been looking at.

"I think I should be asking you" he sighed sitting down beside her and pulling the item she held into view.

"I'm sorry" Buffy told him, staring at the sonogram picture once again, "I just, I keep thinking about her, Xander" she swallowed hard trying not to cry anymore, "We've been here almost a month and still we're no closer to finding her"

Xander wrapped his arms around his cousin and held her as her tears finally escaped. It was true, they'd been living in the Sunnydale Motel for a little over four weeks, him working at a local construction site and Buffy in the office of an electronics company. They were managing to save some money, they had a pleasant group of friends and life was pretty good, except the real reason for coming to the small Californian town seemed to have got lost somewhere.

"Sometimes I think it was so wrong of Faith to tell you what she did" Xander sighed as he rubbed Buffy's back soothingly.

"No" the blonde shook her head, pulling away from him, "No, she shouldn't even have given me as much information as she did, and I'm grateful to her" she said, though she quite understood what Xander meant.

Faith Lehane was one friend Buffy had managed to make during the time when she was pregnant. At school they'd barely spoken to each other but when Faith had found out the slightly younger girl was having a baby she'd made a point of getting to know her. As it turned out she too had gotten into a similar situation the year before and had been encouraged by her parents to get an abortion. At the time she'd agreed it was probably for the best but since that time she'd felt so wretched about killing a life like that, a possible son or daughter if not for herself then for another.

The two women had remained in on-and-off contact ever since that time and when Faith got a job that gave her access to adoption records Buffy couldn't help but ask her to check her baby was okay. Thirteen years since she'd given up her child, Buffy was told that little girl had grown up nicely with a good couple in Sunnydale.

From that moment the blonde knew she had to find the child she'd let go. She'd always felt like there was a gap in her life, a great loss for the past years where her daughter should've been. When she asked Faith for more data, a name and an address for example, that was when her friend drew the line. She apologised but she could lose her job that she loved if she gave that kind of information to Buffy. The blonde couldn't find it in her to be angry at her friend of so many years and accepted what she'd been told, making plans with her cousin to go and find her baby.

"I'm sorry this isn't easier, sweetie" Xander told her, "but I do have a little piece of good news"

"About my baby?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"Not so much" her cousin shook his head, feeling terrible when her face fell, "but still good" he assured her, "I found us a possible apartment" he smiled, "It's not perfect, but it has two small bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom, and the rent is totally do-able"

"That's great, Xand" Buffy forced a smile, genuinely pleased and yet having trouble showing it, "When do I get to see it?"

"I was thinking tomorrow being Sunday might be of the good" her cousin suggested, "It's getting a little late to be going today especially since we're going out soon"

Buffy brightened a little at that. She'd almost forgotten the arrangements that had been made for this evening with her work friends. Willow and Oz were just the sweetest couple and they had two beautiful kids. Buffy had played baby-sitter for them a couple of times when their parents wanted to go out, but Xander didn't like her doing it since she usually got upset over the loss of her own child when exposed to somebody else's kids.

Then of course there was Spike. It was the weirdest thing but despite telling him three days after their first meeting that she wanted to take things very slowly, Buffy so often found herself just wishing he would make a move. He hadn't even asked her out on a date or anything, just drove her to work every day and sometimes home again if the weather was bad or he found he had time.

They talked about anything and everything, and when Dawn was there she always had a fun High School related story she wanted to share. Buffy found she really liked the fourteen year old who sometimes reminded her so much of herself it was uncanny. If she didn't know Spike was her Dad she might have thought the girl was her own, but that couldn't be. She knew any thoughts of that kind were very contrived and she tried to push them right out of her head. The complications of the scenario far outweighed any good that might come of it and it would be such a coincidence it was practically impossible.

Buffy sighed as she put her picture back in her diary and laid it on the cabinet by the bed. Xander had said something about showering and changing as he left a few minutes ago and she knew she should do the same soon. A night out was what she really needed she was sure, and maybe tonight she's get somewhere with Spike. Not that she wanted to get all that far she told herself, they'd only been friends for a month after all but, sometimes it felt like they'd known each other forever and he was just such a great guy.

Buffy caught sight of herself in the mirror and almost laughed. The thoughts in her head were that of a teenager, and more suited to the likes of Dawn and her friends than her own twenty-nine year old self. Still, her age didn't stop her from finding guys attractive, and Spike had initially made it obvious that he liked her too, especially that first time the gang had met at the Bronze. When he kissed her she ran, something she knew she wouldn't do now. If only he'd figure that out, they might just get somewhere.

"And you promise me it's just girls at that sleepover you're going to?" Spike asked Dawn yet again.

"For the five hundred and seventy sixth time, yes!" his daughter told him impatiently, hitching her bag up higher on her shoulder, "Now can we please go before I'm late and look totally lame!" she complained.

"You watch your tongue there, Bit" he scolded, "Remember who you're talking to. I'm not one of your 'lame' friends at school" he told her with a look.

"I'm sorry, Dad" she muttered as he pulled on his coat and they headed out to the car, "So, is Buffy going to be at the Bronze tonight?" she asked as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Er, yeah" Spike said absently, strating up the car, "Why'd you ask, Lil Bit?"

"Well, you two get along so well, and I know you like her a whole lot" she shrugged, "I guess I thought you two would be all big with the dateage by now"

"We've only known each other a month, Dawnie" Spike told her as he drove her to her friends house, "You don't just rush into these things. You have to get to know each other before anything serious happens" he gave her look when he said it and Dawn rolled her eyes.

"How did my asking you about Buffy turn into another anti-sex lecture?" she asked with a smirk she'd learnt from him alone.

"'S not a lecture, Bit" he pointed out, "But it's important you understand. I'm a bloke so I know how boys minds work seein' as I was a young lad once upon a time. You're a pretty girl Dawn and you're eager to get people's good opinion" he said as he pulled up outside Amanda's house, "I just don't want to see you gettin' into some sort of trouble. Too many of these kids in the paper, having their own kids at your age, makes my stomach turn over just thinkin' about it" he told her with a grimace.

"Dad, really" Dawn sighed, "I would never let a guy...y'know, I'm not stupid" she promised him.

"I know that, pet" he nodded, pushing her hair back off her face affectionately, "Now get along with you, have fun with your mates"
"You too" she grinned as she hopped out of the car and disappeared into the house.

Spike turned back to the road and knocked up the volume on the radio before heading home to shower and change. He felt stupidly excited at spending some quality time with Buffy. They saw each other five days a week on the drive to work, and a little in the office.

Occasionally she'd been out to lunch with him but always with Oz and Willow there too. There'd been two other occasions at the Bronze since the first one that had ended so badly, but he never even asked her to dance, he was so worried she'd consider it too much. He'd concentrated on being her friend, no matter how difficult that was. So many times he ached to kiss her, but he never did. He'd promised her they'd take things slow and that's what they were doing.

'Who knows' he thought to himself with a wry smile, 'maybe by the time Dawn graduates I'll have got as far as holding Buffy's hand...if the strain of waiting doesn't kill me in the meantime'

Oz and Xander arrived back at the table where Willow and Buffy waited, bearing drinks for all of them, and one for when Spike arrived.

"So Buff, Xander tells me you might have found a place to live" Oz said as he sat down beside his wife, "That's great"

Buffy had admitted a while ago that she and her cousin were living at the motel. Once she got to know the two red-heads it was obvious they wouldn't think badly of her for her situation, instead they were appropriately supportive without being overly sympathetic.

"Yeah, we're going to take a look tomorrow and if all goes well, Xand says we can move in right away" the blonde nodded as she sipped her drink, eyes wandering back to the door. She tried to be discreet but everyone had noticed as she continued to train her eyes on the entrance.

"I wonder what's holding up Spike" Willow said not-so-casually and Oz rolled his eyes, "I'm sure he'll show up, it's not like him to just not come"

"Talk of the devil" Oz nodded towards the door as the bleached blond entered and walked over to the table, taking the empty seat next to Buffy.

Nobody missed the grin that spread across the blonde's face as she greeted him, or the similar delighted smile he shot back at her.

It was a half hour later when Willow and Oz were dancing that Xander excused himself to go to the bathroom and Buffy wondered if it wasn't a deliberate manoeuvre to leave her alone with Spike - not that she minded at all.

"So, getting a proper flat at last, eh pet?" he said casually, sipping his beer from the bottle, "Be nice to have a place to call your own"

"Yeah" she nodded "Xander says it's much closer to the office too" she told him with a slightly disappointed tone. The previously happy look on Spike's face fell at that.

"Won't be needin' my services anymore then, I s'pose" he said, looking away, "Private cab driving days end here"

"Yeah, I guess so" Buffy replied quietly, staring down into her glass.

The silence stretched out for a couple of long minutes before they both spoke at once, saying each others names and then smiling when they realised what they'd done.

"Ladies first" Spike told her chivalrously and Buffy felt ridiculously shy when she spoke to him, so far from the strong-willed young woman she was known to be around everyone else.

"Spike, I...you know I really like you, a lot" she admitted, glancing up to meet his eyes just briefly, "I liked getting the chance to talk to you on the way to work and...well, if we can't talk then, I guess we need to find other time when we can see each other..." she trailed off, hoping he might understand what she was trying to say and take over before she completely embarrassed herself. As she stared into her glass once again, hoping he'd soon say something, she felt his hand cover hers on the table.

"Buffy" he said, gaining her attention and looking deep into her eyes, "I thought you knew that I like you, that all I want is the chance to spend more time with you, away from work and everything" he told her, the intense look in his eyes never wavering. Buffy felt like she was drowning when he looked at her that way, and he was saying exactly what she hoped he would.

"What I said before" she said breathlessly, as his hand moved slightly on top of hers and sent electric bolts up her arm, "about us taking things slowly and everything... well, I meant that but..."

"But?" Spike prompted as her sentence disappeared.

"But, er..." Buffy struggled to remember what exactly she was saying before as he leaned a little closer to her and she found herself inching forwards too.

Their lips met in a sweet kiss that they both felt they'd waited too long for, still it was Spike that pulled away first determined not to go faster than he should. On the contrary Buffy wanted faster, and she told him so without words as her hand slipped behind his head and held him there as the kiss went on. When oxygen finally became an issue they pulled apart, both of them but mostly her looking a little embarrassed about it.

"That's a good speed for me right now" she said pulling away a little more, as the club seemed to come back into focus around her. It had all but disappeared when she was kissing Spike, her eyes had fallen shut and the whole world had gone away. Now it was back and she was oh so aware of the people that were all around, despite the fact she and her 'friend' were not the only people enjoying each other's embrace.

"Works for me" Spike told her as he watched her fiddle nervously with her empty glass, "Did you want another drink?" he asked and he was so relieved when she nodded.

As glorious as that kiss had been he really needed to get away from the table for a minute. She made his head spin, just the look in her eyes had made him feel things he couldn't describe and when he kissed her that had been something else. The real suprise was when she didn't want to stop, letting the kiss last longer and go deeper than he'd planned. She quite literally took his breath away and that worried him a little. As thrilling as it was to feel this way again, it only served to remind him of Drusilla. He'd felt such strong feelings for her, though in a different way. Still, it was a little confusing...

"You okay?" Buffy asked from behind him, making him jump slightly, "You were gone a while" she said when he turned to look at her, "I, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" she said a little guiltily and Spike felt bad.

"Honestly, luv, you didn't" he promised her, "I just...S'pose you surprised me a bit is all" he admitted with a smile as he opened his wallet to pay for the drinks. He caught sight of the pictures there and sighed. Buffy saw them too.

"Is that Dawn?" she asked, putting her hand on his wrist and making him tilt it towards her so she could see better.

"Yeah" Spike smiled, "She was eight in that picture, and...and that's Dru, my wife" he said softly, one finger tracing the faces in the photo, "It was taken the Summer before she died" he added in all but a whisper and Buffy felt terrible.

"I'm sorry" she said, her hand lingering on his arm a little longer, hoping he was at least a little comforted by the gesture, "They look alike" she commented, finding it strange when Spike laughed lightly. She looked up at him with a puzzled expression and he apologised for his little outburst.

"Everybody says that" he explained, "Even the ones that know...Dawn's not really our kid, Buffy. Dru couldn't have them so we adopted her"

"You adopted..." Buffy began, finding the rest of the sentence got stuck somewhere between her brain and her mouth as she refocused on the picture in Spike's hand. Could it really be that her earlier assumptions had been correct, she wondered silently, could it be that Spike's daughter Dawn was biologically her little girl?

To Be Continued...