A/N : Thanx to all you fantastic reviewer type people; funkydevil206, EMBER91, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Ape18, RealDramaQueen817, Brunettepet, katie, demonica mills, Mita427, Moluvsnumber17, SiriusSpikeLover, StarstruckT14, bella-lover, velja, spuffygrl, and Baby Girl Geller-Green. Here's the next chapter. Apologies in advance for the cliff-hanger-ish ending...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 14 - Kiss and Tell

"Come in" Giles called as someone rapped on his office door just before three o'clock, "Ah, Spike, should you not be picking up Dawn?" he asked as his son poked his head round the door.

"Don't have a seizure, Dad, I'm just goin'" he rolled his eyes, "Just wanted to ask your beautiful assistant here what time she wanted me at her place for dinner?" he said, turning to Buffy who fought not to blush at the compliment he paid her.

"Is seven okay for you?" she asked shyly.

"Sounds perfect, pet" he smiled, before saying his goodbyes and disappearing again.

Giles went back to his work but Buffy had trouble concentrating. Part of her was looking forward to spending more time with Spike, he was so great and she could really feel herself falling in love. She did not, however, love the prospect of telling him she seemed to be the biological mother of his child. He was bound to feel weird about it, she did herself, and she just prayed he'd not hate her like Riley seemed to.

It had taken a lot for Buffy to love again after Angel, but Riley Finn seemed so nice and decent and he liked her a lot. She tried to force herself to love him, though she never quite fell all the way and to this day she was uncertain as to whether it was because she just didn't feel that strongly for him, or because she was wary of committing after what happened with Angel.

It had all meant nothing when they'd started to talk about their future, possible marriage and kids. Buffy had confessed she was already a mother, though she would never know the child. Despite her explanation, feelings of guilt and floods of tears, Riley couldn't see beyond the fact she gave up a child, her own flesh and blood. To him it was like some sort of sacrilege, and he said he had to leave. He couldn't look at her the same way anymore and he couldn't be in the same town as her knowing he couldn't be with her. He'd left within the week and Buffy had cried at the loss of a second man to love, despite the fact he hadn't meant half so much as Angel once had.

Now here was Spike, with all the good looks, style, and sexiness that Angel had, and all the goodness and kindness Riley had possessed rolled into one being. He was the perfect combination of positive attributes of both her past lovers and so much more than that. She smiled and daydreamed about the wonder that was William Giles to the point where it took her boss three attempts to get her out of her daze.

"My dear, are you quite alright?" Giles checked and Buffy was quite embarrassed to have been so deep in thoughts not befitting the workplace, especially not when the man involved was your boss' son!

"I'm fine, honestly" she told Giles, "I'm sorry, I guess I just zoned out a little"

"I was about to say that if you have preparations to make for this evening, I don't object to you leaving early. Now in fact, if you wish?"

Buffy checked her watch and found it was barely three thirty.

"Oh really, I couldn't" she protested, "It'd be like getting money under false pretences"

"Indeed Buffy" Giles smiled amusedly, "You are my assistant and at present I need no assistance. It is quite pointless you being here I assure you" he told her, "In fact, if you insist upon doing anything for me, your instructions are simply to have a wonderful evening with my son" he smiled.

"If you're really sure?" Buffy checked, tidying her desk and flipping off the computer monitor.

"I'm really sure" Giles confirmed as she put on her jacket to leave, "You know, you're the first woman William has paid any real attention to since poor dear Drusilla passed away" he commented and Buffy stilled movement for a brief second before continuing to get ready to leave, "I don't wish to make you uncomfortable or put pressure on you, my dear" Giles assured her, "I simply want you to know that...I have a good feeling about the two of you. I think you both could perhaps find a special kind of happiness together"

"I hope you're right" Buffy replied quietly, before saying goodbye and heading out of the door. Giles had no idea he'd only made her feel worse about tonight.

With a deep breath Buffy headed out of the building and walked to her new home. Xander would drop in just for a shower and a change of clothes before taking out Cordelia who he saw quite a lot at the moment. He promised not to be back till late and Buffy was grateful to him for that. She and Spike really did need to talk and there was no way of knowing how he would take what she had to say. Tonight was set to be perfect joy or a disastrous mess. Until it happened, Buffy couldn't know for sure which it would be.

Spike stood outside the door to Buffy and Xander's apartment, debating what the best thing was to do when she opened the door. Did he just casually say hello, give her a hug, kiss her as soon as he saw her...he had no idea. The only woman he'd ever really dated was Dru and he'd ended up married to her. Since her death, his friends and his father had encouraged him to get out there and meet new people but even with his new and improved looks and persona he had some trouble.

Feeling comfortable with women was easy, being their friend like he was with Willow and some of the other girls at work. Dating was a whole different game, and he didn't know where to begin. Buffy was so special, he wanted to get this right, hoping it'd last for a good few years yet. He was wary of rushing her after what had happened before but also so afraid of not moving fast enough and missing an opportunity. Having Dru snatched away too soon had made him see he should make the most of every moment her had on Earth, but for the most part his time had been spent on work and Dawn these past years. His little girl was growing up now, needing him less and less, and Spike had time for a life of his own, a life he hoped to share with Buffy he realised.

Giving up on planning anything and deciding to just go with the flow, Spike knocked on the door and a moment later Buffy opened it. She looked stunning in what seemed to be a new dress and with her hair all pinned up. Spike was glad he'd put a proper shirt and pants on tonight or he'd have felt decidedly underdressed.

"Hi" Buffy said almost shyly and he wondered why she looked as nervous as he felt.

"Hello, luv" he replied, and she was a little stunned to see his hand shake slightly as he handed her a bottle of wine, "Hope that goes with whatever you cooked"

"I'm sure it'll work" Buffy nodded as she invited him in and he commented on how great the new apartment seemed to be.

"I'd offer you a tour but it's pretty much what you see is what you get" she smiled, gesturing to the living space with kitchen and dining table all thrown in, "'Cept for the bathroom of course which is just like everybody else's and bedrooms which have y'know beds and...stuff" she rambled, hurrying off to check the food straight after. Spike bit back a slightly dirty remark about her 'beds and stuff' comment, in all honesty glad that she was as nervous as he was, even if it was ridiculous. He decided to do something about it.

"Why are we doing this, Buffy?" he sighed as he followed her to the kitchen area and leaned on the wall as she stirred pasta sauce in a pan on the hob.

"Doing what?" she asked worriedly, thinking this might be it, he might be about to dump her or something.

"Acting all jittery around each other, like a couple of dizzy teens" he smiled, amused by the patheticness of it all, "We're grown ups for heaven sake and yet every time I'm alone with you..." his sentence tailed off to nothing when she gave him her full attention and he tilted his head as he looked at her.

"Every time I see you I'm overwhelmed, first just by you, and second because I can't believe I've got you in my life" he told her solemnly.

"I never heard a 'dizzy teen' type boy say anything as beautiful as that" Buffy smiled, stepping closer to him. She wanted to take advantage of this moment, whilst he still cared for her. Within the hour the fairytale could well be shattered.

"A beautiful woman inspires beautiful words" he explained, "And you are that, luv, that and so much more"

He leaned down to kiss her then and Buffy loved this feeling, his arms around her body, his lips pressed firmly to hers. She could feel how much he cared for her, like a warm glow in her heart, only made stronger by the fact she felt the same about him.

Their perfect moment was disturbed as the pan of pasta boiled up, spilling hot water out over the stove.

"Oh damn" Buffy cursed, pulling way from Spike and turning to clear up the mess.

"Er, that mean it's done, pet?" he asked with an amused grin and she laughed in spite of herself.

"I guess" she said, "Why don't you go sit down, I'll save this if I can and bring it through in a minute"

He nodded in agreement and went to sit at the table to wait for her. When she appeared a moment later with the food in her hands he stood up again. As soon as the plates were put down he moved to pull out her chair for her like a gentleman and she smiled at the action, thanking him as she took her seat and he took his once again.

The meal passed pleasantly enough. The food was good, but the conversation was beige for want of a better word, all kind of average and boring, and Spike was beginning to wonder what the real point of the evening was. After all, Buffy had invited him over to tell him something, or so she'd said, and yesterday it had seemed like that something was a pretty big deal. Now she was sticking to talk of their friends, her cousin, his daughter, and nothing remotely earth-shattering. It was after they'd finished eating and moved to sit on the couch and drink coffee that he confronted her about it.

"Buffy, I'm not saying tonight's not fun so far but...why am I here?" he asked her, glancing between her and the contents of the cup in his hands.

"Oh, you remembered there was a reason, huh?" she sighed, looking away.

"Well, yeah" he nodded, not liking that she seemed reluctant to look at him all of a sudden. He put the cup down on the coffee table, and reached out to her, putting his fingers beneath her chin and turning her head so she was looking at him again.

"Buffy, pet" he said worriedly, "If this is you tryin' to tell me to sod off, that you don't want to see me anymore, I..."

The end of his sentence was lost as Buffy slid her hand behind his head and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Their arms wrapped around each other and she ended up more or less on his lap as tongues did battle and hands started to roam. When they were forced to part for air, they remained close, foreheads touching.

"That was...not entirely what I was expecting" Spike admitted, a little breathlessly.

"Me either" Buffy agreed, despite the fact she'd initiated it, "I didn't mean to...it wasn't the plan" she explained, "but I need you to know, Spike, that...that you mean so much to me" she told him, tears forming in her eyes.

"Hey now" Spike frowned when he noticed, "What's all this about?" he asked and Buffy pulled away from him, shifting off his lap and sitting back on the couch beside him.

"Tell me how you feel about me?" she asked him, with wide innocent eyes that Spike could happily have drowned in. He considered his answer carefully, desperate to tell her the truth but so worried she'd think this was going too fast again. Still, she was the one that had snogged him and she was asking how he felt, she must know he was serious about this.

"Buffy" he said softly, putting a hand to her cheek, "I'm falling in love with you" he told her so sincerely the tears she'd held in her eyes finally broke free and ran down her cheeks. Spike gently wiped them away with his thumbs, before asking her the same question she'd posed to him. She shifted a little awkwardly and when she finally spoke it was barely more than a whisper that escaped her lips.

"I think...I'm falling in love with you too" she admitted, "Faster and harder than I ever thought I could, and it scares me Spike, it really terrifies me" she cried.

Spike felt absolutely horrible for her as he pulled her into a hug and she sobbed into his chest, someone had hurt her, he could tell. Nobody was so wary of love without a reason. He himself had only loved once before and Dru had been cruelly snatched from him, but that she could not help. He guessed some bloke had treated Buffy badly, probably used and abused her or something, to the point where she was almost too afraid to trust in anybody else's affection.

Eventually she pulled away from him so he could see her face as she sniffed and tried to wipe away the worst of her tears and the mascara that had followed them down her cheeks.

"I have to tell you" she choked out, "I have to explain"

"Explain what, luv?" Spike asked her, not understanding at all.

"About my first boyfriend, the first man I ever loved" Buffy began to explain, "His name was Liam Murphy, but everyone called him Angel" she smiled at the fond memories that came before the badness, "I was fifteen years old and he was a transfer student in the senior year. First moment I saw him I thought I was in love. I couldn't believe it when he asked me out on a date. Within weeks we were confessing love for each other and I had Mrs Buffy Murphy, and Buffy & Angel Forever written all over my school books" she smiled sadly, shredding the tissue in her hands that she had used to clean up her face before. She couldn't look at Spike right now who sat there beside her silently listening to her tale.

"Before I knew it, Angel was asking me to the Prom. I was so proud that night, the only Sophomore at the Senior Prom. It was the best night of my life, at least I thought so when it started. After he'd got his crown for King, Angel said we had to go, he had a surprise for me. He'd booked a room in a fancy hotel, he said he loved me and he wanted it to be special our first time...my first time" she amended sadly.

"He didn't...?" Spike asked vaguely and Buffy shook her head in the negative.

"No, I wanted to do it" she admitted, not at all proud of the fact, "I thought we were forever, I mean, he loved me and I loved him, right? Wrong" she shook her head, as she answered her own question, "After that night he was a different person. I guess he got what he wanted and didn't need me anymore" she cried, the pain almost as bad now as it had been the day it happened.

Though Spike hated to see her upset he didn't move to comfort her yet, he needed to hear the rest of he story, there had to be more to it than this.

"I was devastated when he wouldn't return my calls, wouldn't talk to me at all" Buffy continued, "And then when I finally went over to his house, he was too busy to see me, or so the half-dressed girl who answered the door told me" she said grimly, remembering Darla, Angel's ex, dressed only in one of his shirts as she'd stood in the doorway, telling Buffy how worthless and stupid she was.

"By the time I realised what had really happened, Angel had already left for college, and I was left literally holding the baby, or due to be" she explained.

Spike's eyes went wide when he realised what she was saying to him.

"You were...You had to get rid of his kid?" he frowned, feeling her pain, and guessing she'd had to abort the child.

"No" she said, shaking her head and confusing him further, "It was too late to...abort" she explained, "Spike, I had a baby girl" she cried as she looked at him at last, "She was adopted and..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking straight at him and saying what she must, "Spike, I think it's Dawn"

"Bloody hell!"

To Be Continued...