A/N : Thanx so much to all you reviewer type people for your constant support; StarstruckT14, Spuffy2008, TheRealDramaQueen817, sPIKEaNDmE, Miat427, Moluvsnumber17, Brunettepet, funkydevil206, Dark Drusilla, katie, demonica mills, Spuffy6, TammyDevil666, bella-lover, EMBER91, Baby Girl Geller-Green, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, SiriusSpikeLover, velja, Sandra, spuffygrl, alba's room, and Ape18. Again I apologise for the big cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter but no worries cos here is the next part right now!
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 15 - Baby Girl

"Spike, I had a baby girl" Buffy cried as she looked at him at last, "She was adopted and..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking straight at him and saying what she must, "Spike, I think it's Dawn"

"Bloody hell!" he gasped, all the breath quickly leaving his body as he stared at the tear-stained face of the woman beside him.

Dawnie wasn't his biologically daughter, he knew she had a real mother and father somewhere, of course she did, but to find out that it could be Buffy... Spike simply could not take in the concept. A million different emotions rushed around his body, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to stand or sit, stay or run. Words formed in his head but too fast for him to get any sentence to come from his lips, though his mouth opened and closed as he tried to make sense of what Buffy had just said.

"Spike, say something, please" she said worriedly, feeling sick as he seemed to look right through her.

"How?" was all he could find to say, and the blonde at his side looked down at her hands in her lap.

"My friend works at the records office" she explained quietly, "She told me my baby was okay, that she'd been adopted in Sunnydale... I had to find her, Spike, I had to see my baby girl" she said, trying to hold back further tears. Still he stared at her silently for a while longer before finally speaking and much more harshly than Buffy would've liked.

"You knew" he said, almost angrily, "You wanted to know me because of Dawn..."

"No!" she interrupted, "No, Spike, I wanted to know you for you, because I really like you I... I didn't know Dawn was my daughter, I'm still not absolutely certain but I..."

"You could be wrong" Spike interrupted this time, still not looking happy and Buffy shook her head.

"I can't know for sure" she admitted, "Faith, my friend, she told me my daughter was in Sunnydale and obviously I knew she'd be almost fifteen now but... Spike when I met you and her, I had no idea. It didn't even enter my head that she might be mine"

"She's not yours" Spike snapped, "She is my daughter, I'm her father"

"Spike, please" Buffy said in pleading tones, grabbing onto his arm as he tried to stand up and get away from her, "I know you love Dawn, I know you're the only Dad she's ever known and I don't want to ruin anything, I swear" she told him desperately, "I just wanted you to know the truth..."

"If it is the truth" he said glancing back at her, and Buffy stared at him, hating the fact she couldn't find the love for her in his eyes anymore.

"Her birthday" she sniffed, "is it February 9th?"

Spike looked pained as he slowly nodded.

"Day after Dru's" he smiled sadly, "Always said it was a weird coincidence and all..." his voice faded out and he stared down at the carpet once again.

"I'm sorry" Buffy whispered, not really sure what she was apologising for. Maybe because she'd spoilt tonight, maybe because she felt like she was damaging the memory of Spike's deceased wife, or maybe just because she hated to think he would never feel the same about her after this.

"Sorry, 's a funny word" Spike mused, "Say it for all sorts, never really understand the real meaning of it... why bother at all?"

Buffy frowned not really knowing what he meant, wondering if she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life in telling the truth for once. Spike got to his feet, arm slipping from her grip as he did so.

"I think, I have to go" he said absently, glancing around for where his jacket might be.

"Okay" Buffy nodded, trying not to cry anymore and finding it difficult as she stood up and fetched the jacket he'd been looking for. Their hands touched as she passed it to him and she pulled away sharply. He clearly didn't want to be around her anymore, she'd ruined everything. She was looking down and fighting tears when she felt Spike's fingers at her chin, lifting her head up til she was staring up into his eyes.

"I don't hate you" he told her firmly, sensing that was what she thought, "I just, think I need some time, digest everything, y'know?"

Buffy nodded in silence, grateful for small mercies as she swallowed hard.

"I'll see you" Spike said absently as he turned towards the door and stepped out.

As the door closed he stopped and leant back against it. Buffy was crying so loud he could hear her quite clearly through the thin wood and he felt terrible. In all honesty he could cry himself given half the chance.

Dawn was his daughter, not in the biological sense of course, but she'd never really asked about her real parents, always taking him and Dru as her Mum and Dad, even when told she'd been adopted. Now here was Buffy, a woman Spike knew he loved already, and she was Dawn's mother.

It made him feel guilty enough to think Buffy might be seen by others as a replacement for his wife who had passed away, but now she was about to take the place of Dru as mother to Dawnie too. He didn't want his precious girl pushed out in such a way, and it made him feel sick as he saw it all as his own fault. He'd got Buffy the job at his Dad's company. He'd taken her out, kissed her, confessed feelings for her. What Spike felt for Buffy he couldn't even begin to explain, different to what he'd felt for Dru but equally as strong or becoming so at least. Now this revelation had really thrown a spanner in the works, but it wasn't as if it was her fault.

Buffy didn't know Dawn was her daughter when she showed up in good old SunnyD. That meant she'd gotten to know Spike because she wanted to and not because she needed to. The feelings she professed to have for him had to be real, the look in her eyes, the way she kissed him, all supported that. Her feelings for him hadn't been altered one way or the other by her discovery that Dawn was most likely her daughter. It didn't change what Spike felt either and he hoped Buffy knew that, though he wasn't convinced considering the fact he knew she had only just stopped crying. He wanted to go back in there, hold her and comfort her, tell her it'd all be okay, but he couldn't guarantee such things.

If Dawn was Buffy's daughter and it seemed that she most likely was, she'd have to be told. Spike wasn't sure how his little girl would deal, knowing she'd been spending time with her real mother, never realising it. Spike had been planning a happy ever after type future in his head ever since he met Buffy, now he wondered if it would ever work out. In a fairytale it would, Dawn would be elated to find her birth mother and everyone would get along famously, Spike and Buffy would stay together forever and the three would make a perfect little family unit. Problem was, life wasn't a fairytale and the chances of everything working out so perfectly were approximately nil.

Suddenly the door opened behind him and Spike almost tumbled backwards into Buffy who gasped when she saw him there.

"I thought you'd gone" she said, looking so thrilled that he hadn't.

"I... I was thinking" he admitted, hating the sight of red rimmed eyes and tear tracks on her cheeks, "Didn't occur to me to walk at the same time I s'pose" he smirked slightly, not sure what he was supposed to say now.

"Spike, I'm sorry" Buffy apologised, "I never meant for this to happen, and I swear I had no idea Dawnie was mine when I came here, I really do like you, I think I love you, and now I know I ruined it all because you think I'm some kind of whore or just a horrible person for giving away a baby" she rambled on, "but I didn't want to, I..." she burst into tears once again and he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her shaking form.

"'S alright, luv" he told her, rubbing her back soothingly, "You let it all out, I'm not going anywhere" he assured her as he manoeuvred them both into the apartment once again, kicking the door shut so he didn't have to let go of her. They sat down on the couch and she cried a while longer. When she finally stopped and looked up at him his eyes bored into her own.

"Buffy, I don't think badly of you, pet" he promised her, "What happened wasn't entirely your fault, and besides if there weren't people like you who need homes for their kids, me and Dru would never have been parents at all"

"I know" she nodded, swallowing hard, "but... Riley, my last boyfriend, he couldn't deal" she explained, "Knowing that I gave up my own child, it disgusted him... but I never wanted to Spike, you have to believe that. My parents, they were so ashamed, and they said if I kept the baby they'd throw me out. I couldn't bring up a child alone, Spike, I just couldn't"

"I know, kitten" he told her, hand still rubbing her back, "and I told you it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself to me of all people"

"But I do" she protested, "I just turned your life upside down, and the only thing I can do now is tell you everything, and how sorry I am, and hope that somehow you might still want me" her voice got smaller and smaller as she got towards the end of what she was saying.

"Want you?" Spike gasped, "Buffy, don't you get it yet? Fairly certain I'm bloody in love with you. Maybe some other fellas could switch that off when things get rough but I sure as hell can't" he told her firmly, "You are the first woman since Dru that I... I can't even tell you what you make me feel. Even if I wanted to hate you, which I don't since I have no reason to, I couldn't, Buffy, I just couldn't"

"But after what I told you...?" she began, so glad to know he still loved her and yet confused as to how he could.

"What? You think cos some bugger who claimed to love you got you in trouble and left you, that means I won't love you now?" Spike asked incredulously, "I'd like to give him a smack in the teeth, worthless git, but you did nothing wrong, luv" he told Buffy firmly, "Don't think I could've raised a baby in my early teens either, least of all without anybody's help"

"You might see it that way" she said sadly, looking away from his gaze, "Dawn won't"

"Maybe not" Spike agreed, "but before we get to all that, Buffy, you have to believe that I love you, yeah?"

"I do" she said, nodding once as she looked back at him once again, "I... I love you too" she admitted, though it scared her so much just to think it was true nevermind actually come out and say it to him.

"Way I see it that's just about all that matters, right?" Spike said softly, his hand lingering at her cheek, moving to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Mostly" she nodded, resting her cheek in his hand, "but Dawnie..." she sighed, knowing she was just as important to both of them as they were to each other.

The poor girl's life was about to be turned inside out and Buffy couldn't bear to think of how she might react to the news that she was the woman that once abandoned her.

"It'll be alright, luv, I promise you" Spike said sincerely, "She's a good kid, got her head screwed on right. We explain everything to her, well, I'm not saying she won't get in a bit of a snit for a while, she is a teen after all" he smirked, "but she'll be okay. Trust me?"

"I do" she said, nodding gently, just knowing Spike really had no idea how much it took for her to trust anybody. Not counting Xander she hardly ever put her faith in anyone, and now here was Spike and she'd just told him the larger part of her life story, because she loved him and it was amazing to her.

He leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips and Buffy couldn't believe he was still here, still wanting and loving her. She'd been so afraid of telling him the truth, so scared he'd yell and rave, and then walk out and never come back. The relief she felt that he'd stayed eased her panic over telling Dawn the truth of the situation, but it didn't irradicate it completely. Buffy would never be completely relaxed until she and Spike had the impending serious talk with a girl that appeared to be daughter to them both.

To Be Continued...