A/N : Been feeling kinda sick the last couple of days - how is it possible to get something they call a 'cold' when the weather is so warm? Whatever, I managed to get this chapter done for you anyway! Thanx to; Baby Girl Geller-Green, demonica mills, EMBER91, Ape18, katie, Sandra, Rowan Rice, CaroMio, Mita427, Spuffy2008, alba's room, Moluvsnumber17, and bella-lover, for the latest reviews. This fic has just a little way left to go, maybe four or five chapters I think but we'll see what happens. Meanwhile, here's the next chapter.
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 17 - Uncomfortable Situations
Neither Buffy or Spike were really looking forward to going to work the next day. They'd both spent most of the night staring at the ceiling rather than sleeping and were therefore in no real fit state to face their jobs or moreover each other. Still, Buffy couldn't afford to not go to work, she needed the money if she and Xander were going to keep the apartment. As for Spike, as much as he wanted to avoid Buffy in one way, in another he really needed to see her.
As coincidences often happen, Buffy and Spike arrived at Giles Electronics at exactly the same moment and looked at each other awkwardly on the doorstep.
"Hey" she managed half a smile, though Spike noticed she looked like she could use some sleep, didn't stop her looking beautiful to him though.
"Hello, pet" he replied to her greeting.
It was insane, all the secrets they'd shared before, and now even a simple hello was a big deal and neither of them knew what they were supposed to say after it.
"Er, you okay?" he asked, mentally cursing himself straight after for such an idiotic question.
"Okay as I can be" she answered him quietly, "You?"
"Gettin' there" he nodded, "'S all a bit weird still, y'know?"
"Yeah" Buffy nodded her head too, "Weird, awkward" she agreed, looking at her feet, then back at Spike as he opened the door for her and they finally went inside.
They rode the elevator in silence for the first couple of floors as people went in and out, then when they continued on up the building alone Spike couldn't take it anymore and he hit the button to halt the elevator mid-level.
"What're you doing?" Buffy frowned, "We're going to be late" she worried, reaching to press the button again and get them moving, but Spike's hand caught hold of her wrist and stopped her.
"Please, luv" he begged her, "Just give us five minutes, we have to talk"
"I don't think five minutes is going to solve the biggest dilemma of my life" Buffy told him, sounding almost tearful again.
"Our lives" Spike stressed as he pulled her around to face him and put his finger beneath her chin, raising her head til she looked at him, "Buffy, I know you've been through a lot, and that this whole situation didn't really turn out how you planned, but it's not something you have to try and fix alone" he assured her, fingers sliding across her cheek and pushing her hair back behind her ear, "Sweetheart, I know it's complicated, what with Dawnie and everything, but if we handle this right it could all turn out okay"
"But it might not..." Buffy protested, swallowing hard so she didn't break down and cry like she really wanted to.
"But it could" Spike argued, "I love you, Buffy" he reminded her, "And I don't want to lose you from my life. I know Dawn's going to be surprised when she finds out about you, hell, so was I, but I have to hope it's going to be okay...I can't stand the thought of having to let you go" he said, voice disappearing almost complete by the end of his sentence. She really did mean so much to him.
"Spike, I don't want to lose you either" Buffy admitted, voice shaking and one lone tear escaping down her face, "I don't know how it happened but I love you so much, and I so want this to work out" she promised him as they held each other, "but I'm scared" she admitted shakily, "I'm scared of losing you and any chance I might have of knowing Dawn better"
She was crying openly by now and Spike pulled her body close to his, rubbing her back and trying to comfort her, though he felt he could quite easily break down too.
"Maybe it's better if we wait a while to tell Dawnie the truth" he suggested, hating the idea of effectively lying to his daughter but finding the prospect of losing her and/or Buffy ten times worse than a temporary withholding of the complete truth.
"How will that help?" Buffy asked as she pulled away to see his face, trying to wipe tears from her face at the same time.
"Well, you could spend more time with her, with us" Spike suggested, "Maybe if she got to know you better, got to like you, then it'd be easier for her to find out the truth"
"Are you sure that's okay with you?" Buffy asked him, knowing how much he loved the girl and would hate concealing this from her.
"Seems to me to be best for everyone, pet" he told her, "If you agree that is"
Buffy seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding her head.
"Yeah, I think it's a good idea" she managed a slight smile as she answered him, "I really want this to work, Spike" she told him, "You, me, and Dawnie, like a family"
"Sounds good to me, luv" the bleached blond smiled as he kissed he tenderly, "One step at a time though, eh?"
"Of course" Buffy agreed as they finally seemed to remember where they were and indeed where they ought to be by now, "Oh God, Giles is going to kill us!" she exclaimed as she pushed the button on the elevator, at the same time grabbing the mirror from her back and assessing the damage to her make-up.
"No big deal, pet" Spike assured her as they reached the correct floor and the doors pinged open, "You hurry along to the ladies, get your face fixed up, I'll square it all with dear old Dad for the both of us" he told her, ushering her down the hall.
"Will you tell him the truth?" she asked, looking a little scared.
Spike shook his head.
"Not really the time and the place, luv" he decided, "I'll cover though, it'll be fine"
"Thank you, Spike" Buffy smiled as she disappeared around the corner, and he took a deep breath before he headed into the office where Rupert Giles waited, looking at his watch and tapping his foot impatiently.
"Dad, I can explain..." Spike sighed, thinking fast and explaining away both his tardiness and Buffy's apparent absence so far. Though his father accepted the lie and disappeared back into his own office, Willow and Oz wondered what had really happened last night and asked Spike just that when he sat down at his desk beside them.
"So you and Buffy" the red-head woman grinned, "Big date last night, huh?"
"Hardly call it that, luv" Spike sighed, "but, it was... interesting"
"Interesting, huh?" Willow giggled and Oz smirked too.
"I apologise for my wife" he told his friend, "She gets a little school-girl-ish over other people's love lives"
Spike suddenly seemed to realise what the pair thought had happened as his eyes went wide as dinner plates.
"Bloody hell, Red" he gasped, "Me and Buffy, we did not... there was none of that" he said firmly putting her straight and Willow looked quite disappointed as she let it go on Oz's insistence and went back to her work.
The next thing to catch her attention was Buffy's entrance a moment later and the shy little smile she shared with Spike as she walked through to her own office. If nothing had happened last night, what exactly had made them both late for work and all snappy and jittery as they seemed to be as the day progressed, Willow could not think at all. She'd love to find out, but she wouldn't ask and upset anybody, she chose just to watch and listen, and maybe at some point it'd all become clear.
"Hey Bit" Spike smiled as his girl reached the car and climbed in beside him, "Good day, luv?" he asked her.
"Yes actually, it kinda rocked" Dawn grinned, off her father's questioning look she elaborated, "RJ Brooks talked to me today"
"Who the bloody hell is RJ Brooks?" Spike wanted to know and his daughter rolled her eyes as they drove along towards home.
"Only like the cutest guy in school!" she explained, in a tone that screamed 'duh!', "And captain of the football team"
"Uh-huh" Spike nodded, not liking this boy already, "And he's how old exactly?" he checked.
"Seventeen" Dawn sighed as she thought of him, "And oh so fine"
Her fathers hands tightened on the steering wheel, though he hadn't meant to increase his grip. Spike did not like the idea of Dawn falling for some older lad, or moreover said lad taking an interest in her. She was only fourteen, okay, granted she was actually closer to her fifteenth birthday than her fourteenth but that wasn't important. She was his little girl, and apparently Buffy's he remembered, quickly switching the focus of his thoughts to last night.
"Did you have fun?" Dawn asked as if she'd read his mind, "Last night I mean, with Buffy?"
Spike glanced at her awkwardly before turning his eyes back to the road.
"Okay, eeeww" his daughter said loudly, wrinkling her nose, "I really do not need to know if you had that good a time" she winced at the very idea of her father having sex.
"You mind your manners, Bit" he snapped a little at her, "You should have a little more respect for me, and Buffy for that matter" he told her, "Thought I brought you up better, knowing that you don't just tumble into bed with anyone you damn well fancy"
"I know" Dawn told him softly, wondering why he was suddenly so angry at her, "I was just joking, I didn't mean to make you mad" she said, pouting and folding her arms over her chest like a sulking child of much less years than she was.
"I'm sorry, Dawnie" Spike sighed as he stopped at the traffic lights and turned to look at her, "I didn't mean to get snippy with you I just... I just worry about you is all" he told her and she smiled.
"I get that" she nodded, "but you don't have to worry so much. I'm not stupid remember, you and Mom raised me right, you did such a good job, really"
"Good to know, pet" Spike smiled, though he felt like crying on the inside. This was some bloody mess he was stuck in the middle of right now, he only hoped it would get simpler in time.
If Buffy could spend more time with himself and Dawn, the three of them in a family type situation, perhaps it'd be okay when it was revealed that the blonde was Nibblet's real mother. Spike found he had to at least hope it was true or he was going to go crazy before the week was out!
"Er, Dawnie" he said, glancing at her, "How would you feel if I asked Buffy to come over for dinner on Sunday?" he asked almost nervously, "Just thought it might be nice for us to sit down together, talk and stuff"
"You really like her, don't you?" Dawn replied, without answering the question.
"Yeah, I do" Spike nodded as he pulled the car onto the drive and switched off the engine, "What do you think about that?"
His daughter looked thoughtful for a moment before she answered and Spike saw just a little bit of Buffy in her - it was strange, he'd never noticed before, but then he'd never looked for it.
"I think it's cool you have someone to hang with" Dawn answered eventually, "Someone female that you like and that likes you. Buffy's cool too, not all stuffy and boring like most people your age" she smirked.
Spike rolled his eyes, pretending to hit her up the back of the head for that comment, but barely touching her really.
"Cheeky mare, you are" he told her as they got out of the car.
"Maybe" she giggled, "But it's fun" she said as they walked up to the house and went in through the front door.
"So dinner on Sunday" Spike reminded her as she made for the stairs, "It's okay with you if I invite Buffy?" he checked
"Sure" Dawn shrugged, "Could be fun, I guess" she realised as she smiled and then ran up the stairs to her room.
"Bloody hope so, luv" Spike said more to himself than anyone since Dawn could no longer hear him, "Bloody hope so"
To Be Continued...