Chapter 3: The Burger Connection

The fourth week.

Ryoma was annoyed to find himself actually being interested in the class, despite his best efforts to dislike it for his own biased reasons. He was even more surprised to see that he hadn't used any of the six cuts he was allowed.

Since it was raining outside, they were forced to stay inside the classroom. Today's lesson was on sexual attraction. Oh joy. Fuji had a lot of ammunition for that.

Surprisingly though, Fuji didn't use any of his own experiences, and let the students provide examples for him. Ryoma's classmates were certainly well-vested in the subject. Ryoma of course, had nothing to share, except perhaps if he deigned to volunteer something from Momoshiro's escapades with the Monkey King. That would make an interesting lesson. But since his classmates had more than enough information, Ryoma decided to withhold his supposed contributions for future blackmailing purposes.

After several minutes of sharing, Fuji launched into an exposition of some of his classmates experiences, much to the excitement of those concerned.

Twenty minutes before the end of the lesson, one of Ryoma's female classmates raised a question.

"Sensei, what's your personal quirk in determining attractiveness?"

Fuji didn't seem surprised with the question. He smoothed back his hair and tilted his head to the side. "Me? Oh… there are many things," he answered, smiling. "One is challenge. Nothing thrills me more than pursuing that which I cannot easily have."

Ryoma looked down at his desk. He knew that Fuji's lack of riffs on his own personal life was too good to be true.

"The second is intensity. I deeply appreciate raw energy, no matter how it's projected. Intensity is something I easily identify with, for despite appearances, I myself, am an intense person."

Ryoma bit his lip, not really wanting to hear this, but liking what he heard anyway. He had always been curious about what Fuji saw in him, apart from being a tennis prodigy.

"Third," Fuji continued, winking as he held up three fingers. "The way one eats a burger."

This last statement sent a lot of eyebrows into orbit. "Haaaah?" Even Ryoma couldn't help showing his surprise.

Fuji chuckled. "Let me show you." He pulled out a large McDonald's paper bag from under the teacher's desk. "Everyone get a burger. There are three different kinds to cater to your specific tastes-- a McChicken burger, a Quarter Pounder and a Filet-O-Fish."

Still not used to Fuji's oddball teaching techniques, the students shot each other quizzical looks and hesitantly lined up to get their food.

"Now here are my instructions," Fuji spoke as soon as everyone had gone back to their seats, a McChicken in hand. "Take a big bite. Eat the burger with gusto, as if you've never had one in your life. Then observe your classmates. If they still look cute, even with their mouth full of meat and bread, then that's an attractive person."

For a few minutes, the sound of burgers being unwrapped and eaten filled the room. Then…

"Sensei, you're right! People do look different when they eat!" A lot of verbal assent followed this statement.

Fuji adopted a pleasantly surprised expression. "Ah. So it's not only me then." He then took a bite out of his own sandwich.

"Oh but sensei, you're still very attractive even with bread crumbs on your mouth."

Fuji finished chewing his food before smiling politely at his student. "Why thank you Satsuki," he answered graciously. "I'll make sure that you receive proper marks for that."

The girl beamed. Ryoma scowled and focused his gaze on his Quarter Pounder, lying on his desk unwrapped, but uneaten.

Of course, Fuji just had to point this out. "Echizen, you're not eating your burger."

Ryoma shrugged, not looking at Fuji. "I'm not hungry."

Fuji strolled over and waved Ryoma's burger in front of the younger boy's face. "Just a bite then," he urged gently. "It's part of the lesson."

Ryoma glared at him but eventually obliged when Fuji pressed the sandwich even closer to Ryoma's mouth. He snatched the burger from Fuji's hand and took a tiny bite.

Fuji clucked his tongue in disapproval. "C'mon now, that's not the way you eat it."

"Fine." Ryoma opened wide and crammed his mouth with food. He suddenly realized he hadn't eaten breakfast yet and devoured the burger with relish. Fuji's eyes twinkled with satisfaction and he took another bite from his own sandwich, blue eyes trained on Ryoma the entire time.

Without conscious reason, Ryoma found himself staring at his professor, at the way Fuji bit into his McChicken, teeth scraping the bun, and tearing away a medium chunk of bread, chicken and lettuce. He chewed and Ryoma noticed that Fuji's upper lip was scattered with crumbs and sesame seeds, and just a touch of mayonnaise.

He then realized that there was a truth to what his bubblehead classmates said. Fuji's delicate features weren't marred by the presence of food stuff on his face. In fact, he even looked kind of cute. And coming from Ryoma, that was saying something, because he never used the words 'cute' and 'Fuji' in the same sentence.

He suppressed a wry smile. Well how about that? Fuji's crackpot theory actually worked.

Fuji noticed Ryoma staring at him. "What is it?"

Ryoma touched a finger to his own lip. "Mayonnaise."

"Oh." Fuji looked thoughtful for a moment before responding. "Can you hand me a table napkin please?"

Ryoma raised one eyebrow. "Why don't you just wipe it off with your hand?"

"Mayonnaise is sticky."

Jeez, talk about hygiene quirks. Ryoma grudgingly looked around for the paper bag and found it on the opposite side of the classroom. Sighing, he turned back to Fuji. "Never mind. I'll do it." Before Fuji could reply, he reached up and wiped the substance off Fuji's mouth with his thumb. "You're a messy eater Fuji-sensei," he said, as he sat back down.

Fuji smiled and returned the gesture, surprising Ryoma. He delicately rubbed his thumb on the side of Ryoma's mouth, and Ryoma spotted a speck of mustard when Fuji pulled his hand back. "And you're a very attractive eater, Echizen." He sucked the mustard from his finger and smiled brightly at Ryoma.

Ryoma narrowed his eyes at Fuji to cover his shock at his immodest gesture. "I thought you didn't want your hands to be sticky."

"Aa." Fuji studied him thoughtfully for a few moments. Then, taking Ryoma by surprise, he suddenly leaned forward until he was mere inches from Ryoma's face. "That was mustard. Not mayonnaise," he whispered. His amused eyes lingered on Ryoma's wide-eyed ones before closing.

"Besides…" Fuji slowly leaned back and smiled cheerfully at Ryoma. "I just remembered I purchased a bottle of hand sanitizer yesterday."

That said, he turned and sauntered back to the teacher's desk, Ryoma's incredulous stare following him all the way.

TBC