Jay woke up the next morning to the ringing of his cell phone. He tried to get up but his head began to pound and the room began to spin. Now he remembered the other reason he never drank, the hangovers from hell. He stood up and stumbled over to the dresser where he had laid his cell phone the night before.
"Yeah?" Jay said into the phone as he carried it back to the bed and laid back down.
"Where the hell are you? You were supposed to be here half an hour ago." Sean yelled into the phone.
"Shit!" Jay said remembering he was supposed to meet Sean early so they could go pick up the tuxes. "Give me fifteen minutes."
Jay flipped his phone shut and stood back up. He threw some clothes on, brushed his teeth, grabbed his hat and his sunglasses, and headed out of the hotel. He made it to Sean's in under fifteen minutes.
"You look like shit." Sean said when he opened the door for Jay.
"Yeah, well, I feel like it too. Do you guys have some Tylenol? I've got a killer headache." Jay said following Sean into the house. He froze when he saw Ellie sitting on the couch with Breanna.
"Good morning." Ellie said with a cheery smile.
Jay clenched his jaw trying to control his anger. He didn't want to ruin Sean and Ellie's wedding. He didn't want to yell at her before her big day. So he did the only thing he could. "I'll meet you outside," he said to Sean before turning around and walking out the front door.
Sean and Ellie exchanged a curious glance. "What's up with him?" Ellie asked put a voice to Sean's thoughts. Sean just shrugged his shoulders and walked into the bathroom to grab the Tylenol.
Jay sat on the front steps with his head in his hands trying to get his anger under control. He heard the door open and thought it was Sean until he felt a little hand on his arm.
"What's the matter Uncle Jay?" Breanna asked sitting down beside Jay.
"Uncle Jay's not feeling so well, Princess." He replied looking at the little girl beside him.
"Is it your tummy? We have medicine if it's your tummy. It doesn't taste too good but it does help." The little girl replied innocently.
"No baby girl, it's not my tummy, it's my heart. It's sad." Jay replied.
Breanna stood up and walked in front of Jay before wrapping her arms around Jay's neck and giving him a hug. He hugged her back trying to hold back the emotions that were building up inside of him.
"What was that for?" Jay asked when Breanna had pulled away.
"When I'm sad or sick mommy and daddy give me lots of hugs and then I feel better. Did it help?" The little girl asked looking up at Jay with her big brown eyes.
"Yes it did. Thank you." Jay replied and it had helped a little.
"Well if you need another one you know where to find me." The little girl added giving Jay a quick kiss on the cheek before walking back into the house.
"Here!" Sean said coming out of the house and handing Jay the Tylenol and a bottle of water. "Are you ready to go?"
Jay shook his head yes as he popped the pills and drank them down. He dug his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Sean. "You drive."
Sean studied Jay out of the corner of his eye. Jay had pushed the seat back and had his head resting against the window. Sean was concerned. "Want to tell me what's going on?" Sean asked as he pulled the truck onto the highway.
"No." Jay said flatly.
Sean waited for more but there wasn't any. "Did something happen with Alex?" Sean tried again.
"No." Jay replied still not elaborating. Why wouldn't Sean get the hint? Jay didn't want to talk about it.
They drove the rest of the way in silence. After they picked up the tuxes they decided to grab a bit of lunch. They were sitting in the Fourth Street Dinner when Sean decided to try again.
"Jay, man what's going on with you?" Sean asked concerned by the look of agony on his friends face.
"What's not?" Jay asked sarcastically before launching into telling Sean about his late night conversation with Lexie. "Did you know about it?" Jay asked when he had finished the story.
Sean shook his head no, stunned that Ellie had not only kept a secret from Jay but from him as well. He now understood why Jay was so miserable, why his friend had shut down. "I'm sorry." Sean offered not knowing what else to say.
"Swear to me you didn't know about it." Jay said desperately needing to have someone he could still count on.
"I swear I didn't know, Jay. I would have told you if I had." Sean said reassuringly.
Meanwhile back at the Cameron house, Ellie was playing with Breanna in the back yard when Alex arrived. Alex walked around back and sat down on the picnic table watching Ellie and her daughter play in the sandbox. Ellie looked up and saw Alex, she looked miserable. The same misery she had seen on Jay's face earlier that da was now on Alex's face. Ellie walked over and sat down across from Alex.
"You are the second person that's come to my house today looking like death warmed over. A wedding is supposed to be a time to celebrate not keel over." Ellie said trying to cheer her friend up.
"I told him last night. I told him everything." Alex replied looking up at Ellie with blood shot eyes.
Ellie could tell Alex had been crying which was unusual because Alex never cried. She hurt for her friend. She had known all along that Alex had never stopped loving Jay, had never stopped morning the loss of their child. "I take it, it didn't go well?" Ellie asked her heart breaking for her best friend.
"He hates me and I don't blame him it. You were right, El, I should have told him a long time ago." Alex said as the tears broke loose again.
"Auntie Alex, are you sad too?" Breanna asked coming up to the table the two women were sitting at.
Alex just shook her head yes in response not trusting her voice to speak it for her.
"Is it because of you heart?" Breanna asked climbing up onto the seat beside Ellie.
Ellie and Alex looked at Breanna in confusion. "What do you mean, sweetie?" Ellie finally asked.
"Well, Uncle Jay told me he was sad this morning because of his heart. Does your heart hurt too Auntie Alex?" Breanna continued.
Alex shook her head yes as she looked at the little girl. The little girl that was one year younger then her child would have been, the little girl that Jay had looked so cute coloring with yesterday. Alex's heart broke for the family she wanted so badly and may never have.
"I better get back to the hotel. I told Mike I wouldn't be gone very long." Alex said standing up from the table.
"We'll see you tonight for girl's night out, right?" Ellie asked getting up also and picking Breanna up.
"Yes and I'll try not to be such a drag." Alex said giving Ellie a slight smile before heading around the house to her car.
Jay drove back to Sean's house since the Tylenol finally dulled his headache enough that he could see straight. "Are you coming in?" Sean asked when they stopped in his driveway.
"No. I'm going to try and grab a nap before tonight." Jay replied as Sean started to climb out of the truck. "And Sean, do me a favor, don't let me drink any thing stronger then a beer."
"Sure thing, man. I'll see you at seven." Sean said as he climbed out of the truck and headed towards the house. He needed to talk to Ellie. He needed to hear it from her.
"El?" Sean called out as he entered the house.
"We're in here." She called back to him from the kitchen.
Sean entered the kitchen to find Ellie and Breanna covered in flour. He couldn't stop him self from laughing. "That's some mess you got there." He said in between laughs.
"We're making cookies for Mommy's party tonight." Breanna said jumping down from the stool she was sitting on and rushing over to Sean with a cookie in her hand. "Wanna taste?"
Sean took the cookie that his daughter was holding out to him and took a bite. "Ummm, that's the best cookie I've ever had. Did you make that one?"
Breanna shook her head yes in excitement before turning back around and climbing back up on her stool. "Did you hear that Mommy? Daddy said my cookies are the bestest." Breanna said flashing Ellie her killer smile.
"El, can I talk to you for a minute?" Sean asked as Ellie returned her daughters smile.
"Sure Sean." Ellie answered before turning to Breanna and saying, "Mommy will be right back. Don't touch the oven or the hot tray."
Ellie walked around the counter and followed Sean into the other room. "What's going on?" She asked when Sean had turned around and looked at her.
"Is it true that you knew Alex was pregnant and you didn't say any thing?" Sean asked trying unsuccessfully to hide the hurt he was feeling that she hadn't confided in him.
"Yes." Ellie answered shaking her head yes also just in case the word didn't come out. "Alex asked me not too. She's my friend Sean, what was I supposed to do?"
"Jay's supposed to be your friend too, El. Hasn't he been through enough?" Sean asked his voice rising a little in defense of his best friend.
"You think I enjoyed seeing him hurting? You think I enjoyed lying to him? It wasn't my place to tell him Sean." Ellie shot back trying to fight the urge to cry.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. It's just…He's hurting so bad and I don't know how to help him." Sean stated as he sat down on the couch.
Ellie sat down beside him and put her arm around him. "I know," was all she said.
Jay walked into the hotel and spotted Spinner talking to a man Jay had never seen before.
"Jay!" Spinner called motioning for Jay to join them.
"What's up, Spinster?" Jay asked when he'd reached his friends side.
"Have you met Mike?" Spinner asked. "You know Alex's fiancé."
Mike held his hand out to Jay and Jay accepted it shaking it a little harder then he normally would have. The guy was tall with blond hair and brown eyes. He looked average, he looked normal, just like all of Alex's mom's boyfriends, just like Jay's father, just like every other abusive man Jay had come across in his life. To say that Jay didn't like the guy would be an under statement, Jay hated the guy. He wanted to punch the guy from now until eternity.
"It's nice to meet you." Jay lied. "If you guys will excuse me, I've got a killer headache and want to grab a nap before tonight."
"Are you okay?" Spinner asked with concern.
"Sure, I just want to be rested up for tonight. See you guys later." Jay said continuing on his way to the elevator.
Once Jay was safely in his room he let out a loud sigh. He collapsed on his bed using his cell phone as an alarm clock he set it to go off in an hour. He rolled over and fell asleep dreaming about Alex and their baby he had known nothing about.
Jay was standing beside a hospital bed holding Lexie's hand and telling her to push. Alex was squeezing his hand so hard it was turning purple but he couldn't feel it due to the adrenaline that was pumping through him. A few seconds later the room was filled with a baby's cry. Jay looked down at Alex and his new son that she was holding. He pushed the hair off of her forehead and kissed her gently. They were a family the way they were supposed to be.
Jay woke up covered in sweat his body shaking uncontrollably. Hiss cell phone began chirping at him that it was time to get up. Jay sat there for a moment trying to get the dream out of his head. What was it Sean had said the other night about dreams that really do come true? He wanted Lexie and their baby. He wanted the family from his dream.
After about fifteen minutes Jay climbed out of bed. He walked into the bathroom to get ready for guys night in. All he really wanted to do was climb back into bed and sleep the rest of his miserable life away.
Alex sat in Emma's hotel room helping her set up for the girl's night party. Alex wasn't really looking forward to the party she was nervous that Jay and Mike would be spending the evening together and she wouldn't be there to keep the peace. She had no idea what was going to happen and that bothered her.
"Are you okay?" Emma asked sensing her friend wasn't entirely into the pre party planning.
"Yeah, I'm just worried about tonight." She explained. She had told Emma about her conversation with Jay last night and her uneasiness about the upcoming boy's night in.
"You don't need to worry, Alex. Jay's changed a lot the last few years. He's gotten really good at controlling his anger." Emma replied trying to ease her friends mind.
"I know but this is different, Em. He's always had a short fuse when it comes to a man hitting a woman." Alex said.
"And he should. There's never a time where that's okay, Alex." Emma said. She missed the old Alex, the Alex that would have stood up for her self. She missed the Alex that would never have given Mike a second chance to hit her. Maybe if she tried hard enough she could reach a little part of the old Alex that was hidden inside the new one.
"I don't need one of your cause girl lectures, Emma." Alex snapped.
"I know that but I'm your friend and I'm worried about you." Emma replied.
"I wish I could go back and do my whole life over." Alex said more to her self then to Emma. "There's so much I would change."
"What about Jay, or Ellie, or Sean, or even me for that matter? If you were to relive your life would we still be a part of it?" Emma asked defensively.
"All of you would be better off with out me," Alex replied, "Especially Jay."
"You are so clueless!" Emma shouted causing Alex to jump a little. "Jay loves you. He always has."
"But look at how great his life got when he left. Look at how much better his life has been with out me." Alex said as the tears started to slide down her cheeks.
"Don't you get it? You're the reason he got his life together. You're the reason he finished high school. You're the reason he's worked so hard to be who he is now. He did all of this for you Alex. So he could give you a better life, the life you deserve." Emma explained sitting down next to Alex on the bed and putting her arm around Alex's shoulders. She could tell her friend had had no idea what she had meant to Jay or how far he would go to give her everything she'd ever wanted.
"I've messed up everything, Emma. He'll never forgive me for this." Alex cried on Emma's shoulder.