From Lust To Love
Summary: One feels lust, the other love, only problems will arise.
Warning: SLASH, extreme detail in the beginning. If this is not your cup of tea then go get coffee and click the BACK BUTTON. Once again this is SLASH! (guy on guy) don't like CLICK BACK BUTTON! And just to be sure you understand me this is SLASH EXTREME DETAILED SLASH. No likey clicky BACK BUTTON!
A/N: Wow, I only got one flame and a flamey-review (not quite sure what it was... hehe). Anywho this chapter has a bit of kissing and such, I'm keeping the same warning from the first chapter but I'm lazy and don't feel like putting a new one up. Heh I guess warnings do work huh? Anywho gonna say this again, this will contain slash, this will contain two guys kissings, possibly doing other things if I feel like writing it. If you do not like please exit this window and go find a nice innocent little het. fic. To all that is still with me, ENJOY!Oh, there might be a bit of angst in this. Anywho once again ENJOY!

A/N: (6-24-05) Ok so I got like two flames and a flamey-review! Whee this chapter is HORRIBLE. Blah I hate it, but I figure I'd post it get your opinions and if it sucked delete it and redo it. Good idea? No? Damn... ok on with the show! XD

A/N: (10-13-05) Ok I feel bad now... It's been almost a year since I updated... :hides: SORRY! I'm thinking bout getting a live journal... what do you guys think? Again on with the show... SORRY again!

"CHEESE!" speaking
'CHEESE!' thoughts
'CHEESE!' inner voice

Dil arrived at Chuckie's apartment and knocked lightly on the door. A few moments later, a distressed red-head swung open the door, the small flicker of hope (that was in his eyes) died out. Tears built up in his eyes, and a few escaped the confines.

"What's wrong?" the younger one asked putting an arm around his upset friend.
"Our friendship ruined--liked him," he said his voice cracking, and more tears running down his cheeks.
"Wait, say that again. This time so I can understand you."
"I told him! I told him I loved him," he begin, his voice growing weaker. "H--He said it was to weird, and ended the friendship. It'd be too awkward to be around me."
"Who?" Dil asked, fearing the answer.
'Could it be Phil?' Dil's inner voice asked.
'Maybe.' his mind replied.
"Your brother," Chuckie said, a smile almost formed on Dil's face, but he stopped it.
"Oh, he'll come around."
"Really?"
"Yeah," he grinned slightly looking into the other man's eyes.
"I hope," his eyes flickered shut and the two kissed.
'What am I doing?' Dil thought.
'What you always do, use a friend then throw them out.'
'Fuck it, it's not like Phil will find out. It doesn't really matter since I'm ending it today.'
'Whatever, sometimes I'm ashamed to be your inner voice.'
'You know, I think I really am crazy. I'm talking to my inner voice, which doesn't exist because it's really just my conscience speaking.'
'Right.'

Phil stood in the hallway and slipped the key carefully into the slot.(1) He slowly opened the door and peered in.

"Oh my god," he whispered, tears welled up in his eyes, and his heart shattered.

Quickly he turned and ran out, slamming the door behind him. Dil and Chuckie jumped apart at the sound. An uncomfortable silence fell over them, as they got up to find out who was watching them. They ran outside and into the parking lot.

Phil sat in his car crying softly. He saw Dil look over at him. Suddenly, he couldn't stand to look at him; he turned the car on and sped away, tears still running does his cheeks.

Dil's heart filled with sorrow and guilt as he saw Phil drive away. He wanted to chase him, and tell him he was the only one. Instead, he turned back to Chuckie and led him back to the apartment. The two sat, uncomfortably, on the couch.

"That meant nothing, right?" Dil asked.
"Right," Chuckie said, sounding like a small child.
"Look, I gotta get going," he said carefully.
"Yeah," came a reply full of despair.

"How can he do this to me?" Phil whispered, tears running down his face. "Why does it hurt so much"
'You love him,' his inner voice replied.
"But why do I love someone who treats me like shit?" he mumbled, wiping tears away.
'Love is weird,' the voice replied again.
"Fuck this," Phil stood up quickly. "He wants to play these games, then I'll play them!"
'I smell trouble,' the familiar inner voice said.
"Shut it, I don't want your advice, or any opinions," he growled.

Tears rolled down his cheek, not fully from depression, but also from anger. He put the car in drive and sped off toward his house, it was going to be a long night.

Dil got into his car and sat there, staring at the baby blue sky. His heart ached and he had many different thoughts running through his head. Tears welled up in his eyes and he willed himself not to cry.

"I don't care about him," he said, his voice cracking.
'Just stop denying it already,' his pesky inner voice said.
"I don't care. I can't care. I don't fucking care!" he yelled looking into the mirror
'When will you learn?'
"I care... I fucking care!"
'NOW, we're getting somewhere!'
"Fuck off," he snapped starting up the car and driving toward his house.

He greeted the darkness with open arms as he fell face first on his bed. Tears threatened to fall as he thought of the stupid mistake he made.

"Why did I kiss him?" he groaned. "Phil will never forgive me."
Tears started to fall as he realized-
"I've completely fucked everything up!"

With that final thought, Dil slipped into dreamland (his inner voice laughing in glee). All the problems disappeared and he was finally at peace.

"What do I wear tonight?" Phil asked his reflection.'How bout not going to the gay bar?(1)'
"What's the worst that could happen?"
'Hmmm... do you really want me to answer that?'
"... I hate you!"
'So you hate yourself then?'
"Yes, yes I do. Do these pants make my ass look big?"
"Ok, my inner voice has left and I still don't know if my ass looks totally hot. Life sucks big time. Why am I even doing this?"
'To get back at the jerk who broke your heart? Or it could be because you're a fucking dumb ass who has no hope or faith to see that he really does love you?'
"You're back! Now, what do I have to do to make you go away"
'I'll be here forever... forever... forever... forever,' his inner voiced laughed evilly.
"I really think I'm going psycho... I wonder if the institution has anymore padded rooms," Phil pondered aloud.
'Forever... forever... forever...forever... You know saying that over and over again makes it sound like... well forever, but it still sounds funny'
"I'm going crazy," Phil said, banging his head slightly on a wall.
'Stop that, you're killing the brain cells you need!'
"Fuck you! Now does my ass look good"
'GAH! You're so... UGH!'
"... I HATE YOU!" Phil yelled, pouting.
"Phil? Who are you talking to?" a voice from his door asked.
"Tommy?" the crazy one went over to the door and threw it opened.
"Hey, can we talk for a bit."
"Course," the younger boy grinned.
"Where's my brother at?"
"Not sure," he said, trying to keep the sob that wanted to break free down.
"Strange, I thought you two were-- well you know."
"Things change," Phil said, indifferently. "So what'd you want to talk about"
"Chuckie."

Phil suddenly felt a wave of anger rush through his body at the name. The heat soon left him and was replaced with a cold numb feeling. Sighing quietly, he pushed away his emotions and started to concentrate on what Tommy was going to tell him.

"What about him?"
"He told him-- well he likes me."
"Tommy! That's great!"
"No, it's not," Tommy replied putting his head in his hands.
"What? Why? I thought you had a major crush on him."
"I did... do. ARG! I don't know anymore. I pushed my feelings for him away, locked them in the back of my mind. I was hoping to never have to feel them again. I was hoping I'd never have to feel the pain of knowing he would never be mine. The pain of knowing I had no shot because he was straight. It was easy to block them out when Lil and I were dating, but lately she's been really distance. I think she's cheating on me," Tommy ranted. "Why does this have to happen to me"
'It would break his heart if he found out about Dil and Chuckie,' Phil's inner voice, chuckled evilly. 'But you already know what it feels like to see your love kissing someone else.'
"Why don't you give it a try?" Phil offered.
"I don't want to get hurt again. You remember what I was like when I liked him. You remember all the nights I stayed up crying and ranting because he would never be mine. The blood I spilled because I thought he would hate me for feeling a forbidden feeling. What if this is just a phase for him! I was hoping it would be one for me, but now that he's said something, the feelings have come back full force and it hurts me. I want to be with him, but I just can't. I can't open myself up to that." he said, sadly. "Not to mention Lil, I love her. I really do, and I couldn't live with myself if I broke her heart."
"But you just said you thought she was cheating, and I lived with Lil. I know how she turned out to be. I was surprised when she actually settled down with you, but I guess she really didn't. I still don't see why you didn't fall for Kimi," Phil stated.
"Kimi and me? She was amazing, but I felt it would have been like a betrayal to Chuckie. I loved him and if I fell for his sister," Tommy paused, "Then wouldn't it have been weird? I mean they may not be related by blood, but they're just like blood siblings."
"That's true, well T, all I can say is do what you feel is right."
"Thanks man, if you don't mind me asking," he paused, searching Phil, who nodded, "What happened between you and my brother? I mean why the sudden separation?"
"I caught him kissing someone else," Phil said, pushing the tears away. "But don't worry about it, I'm going out tonight, maybe I can forget it."
"Where are you going?"
"There's this club a few blocks down that I want to check out."
"Aww rad," Tommy said. "I hate to rant and run, but I promised Lil I'd only be out for a few hours. I'll call you later, have fun tonight and please be careful!"
"I will, bye T," he replied walking the other guy out of the house. "G'luck with everything."
"Thanks, I'll need it," he said walking toward his car.
'You should have asked about your ass.'
"Shut up!"

(1) I don't know why he has a key... He just does.

(2) Hehe, had to add the gay bar it. :-D

A/N: This is probably going to be the last time I do review thanks. I will, however, email the reviewer if they want me too. Again I'm sorry this chapter took forever to get out. I was gonna add more to it, but I want to get this posted. I hope you guys liked it. Well onto the thanks...

Review Thanks:

Spice of Life: Virgin eyes? I'm sure you've read worst! Hehe I think I gave you some perks this chapter? You'll get many more perks now that we are married! You're the best main dish ever! LMAO (This is an inside joke to anyone curious...) Thanks for the review!

Taekrsbass: Course I'm special... you wouldn't hang out with me if I wasn't! Hope you liked it. Thanks for the review!

HonoluluBarbie: Hmm... Malibu Doll Ken sleeping with Haitian Hunk Harvey... that'd be hot! Well not really because they're dolls and stuff... Oh well. You need a life... I mean with all the barbie references and such. Open your eyes and look around, there are many gay people. Stop living in a fantasy and start living in reality. Thanks for the flame!

XxSkittlesxX: Whee a stamp! Yayness! Hehe glad you liked this. You haven't been posting stories lately, plan on any? Well thanks for the review!

cold toenails: Your name is awesome! Barbie person won't be returning... I hope. :shrugs: Thanks for the review!

thedick: I know Dil isn't gay. This is a fanfiction. I express the characters the way I see them. Dil is slashable because his personality allows it. He's an open minded guy and the ladies don't really chase after him. Not to mention Dil is one of my favorite characters. Thanks for the review/flame... so it's like a flaview. Thanks anyways.

SexyLikePepsi: Yep, quite confusing... I wanted it to be confusing. It's a way of having readers understand how the characters are feeling. The voices in the head can be really confusing. I'm sorry this chapter took FOREVER! Thanks for the review.

aquaticqueen: Heh... like I said, it's a way of getting the readers to understand the characters. I'll try and tone it down a bit though. I do hope you liked this chapter. Thanks for the review!

lol: Yep I'm sick and a perv. :is proud: Quick question, if you don't like slash, why did you read it? Sorry to say, but the excuse, 'I didn't know it was slash.' won't work because I stated it was slash atleast five times... Oh and before I leave... don't except me to stop writing slash. Flames actually make me wanna write more of it. Hehe thanks for the flame.

Shadow: Awesome! I don't know who the dude is either. I haven't played with Barbies in like... years. :shrugs: Hope you liked this chapter. Thanks for the review!

sammy347: Heh... gonna warn you now... My stories don't usually end happily. YOu never know though, I might feel nice and let it. Glad you like my work.

RazorbladexxRomance: Heh, glad you like it. Your story is awesome too, when do you plan on updating? Well thanks for the review!

jelly13: No need to thank me, I should be thanking you. It feels good knowing there are people out there who actually like my lame writing. I do hope you liked this chapter. Thanks for the review.

N/A: I do too. :-D Thanks for the review!

Dragonskin Fool: Thank you:pats self on back: Though I don't think my writing is good enough for that... :shrugs: Anywho hope you enjoyed!

Confused-Gal: Hehe glad you enjoyed the chapter! Here's an update! Thanks for the review!

A/N2: Hey guys! 16 reviews for one chapter... THANKS SO MUCH! This story will probably be ending soon. There is a link to my Myspace in my profile, if you have an account add me. There is also a message board link there that I'm a mod at. My soul sis (Spice of Life) and buddy created the board and it needs members. So come join and hang out with us. (The board is currently dead, but I check it every once and awhile. I'm sure the sis and I will get one more often if it becomes more active.) If you have questions about my stories or whatever feel free to email me sometime. My screen names should be located in any of my older stories if you wanna chat with me. I'm up to making new friends. Sorry bout WMoOC, the chapter isn't gonna be done for awhile. I'm totally blank on that story, you can send me some ideas and stuff (send it in an email please). Well thanks for listening to my rant. REVIEW!

CrazyLake42

A/N: I dislike uploading things... especially when I have to go back and space everything out again... I'm sorry if there is any punctuation missing or if any spacing is messed up. REVIEW please:-D