Berkley briskly stomped past the vendors on the street, barely sparing them a glance. It was one of the things he hated about New York; everybody was always trying to sell him useless junk. Right then, he didn't feel like being accosted.

The little restaurant was buzzing with people and he had to wait for a table. Another annoyance. The damn city was full of them. Berkley hated New York City. Hated it even more since the two people who would have made living there bearable were out of his reach.

He finally got a table and ordered a fillet mignon with broccoli and mashed potatoes. Red wine to go with it please. Leave the bottle. The waitress dressed in a trendy little black dress and a starched white apron smiled. She wasn't pretty. Berkley sipped his wine and listened to the soft chamber music coming from the overhead. Diana didn't like chamber music. She liked classic rock.

Ryo liked classical music. And opera. He was able to appreciate the music, the sets, the emotions. Able to appreciate all that instead of slouching down in the seat and waiting for the cool fight scenes.

Diana liked dancing. Swaying her hips to the beat of the music, moshing sometimes with her blond hair swishing around her head and shoulders. Ryo could do that too, occasionally. He'd blush though, and was more comfortable with a waltz. Even if he didn't lead.

Dinner appeared and as he slowly chewed the meat, barely tasting it, Berkley gave several inward sighs. Two different people he had loved. Opposite ends of the spectrum, but still beautiful, still desirable. Still perfect.

That perfection was what had destroyed his relationship with Diana.

"What do you expect? What do you want?"

"That you be better than this!"

"We're not exclusive, you have no right…"

"No right? If you didn't take this seriously, you should have informed me. I was under the impression we were in an adult relationship."

"We are! I'm just not ready to rush and make this exclusive. Slow down!"

"But you are ready to rush to get drunk and have sex with some random person you met in a sleazy little bar."

"That's it. You're too much Berkley. You always do this."

"Do what?'

"This!"

In retrospect Berkley could admit he had been partly to blame. Diana Spacey needed her space and was not a woman to be pushed. Her perfection was not to be forced.

But…he had not expected her to cheat. She was not that kind of woman and that had disappointed him. The relationship had ended and she had gone back to California, leaving him upset and pathetic.

Pathetic enough to start having sex with a subordinate. Way to go Berkley. Very professional Berkley.

It wasn't the fact that Parker was his subordinate. After all, he'd done everything within reason to make Ryo his. It was just that Detective Parker wasn't what he wanted and the commissioner hated accepting anything less.

Signing the bill and giving the waitress his credit card, he decided that the whole damn thing was messed up.

The sad thing was, there wasn't much he could think to do about it. Ryo was gone and there was no hope of a relationship between the two of them. JJ had more of a chance with Ryo than Berkley did. That was a pathetic thought.

Diana…there might be hope. He knew she loved him and he loved her. If she would just learn to go at his pace and accept…

She wouldn't. The day that Diana Spacey accepted anything she didn't want would be the day hell froze over. And she didn't wanted to be the perfection he knew she was.

So, it seemed that the only thing for Berkley to do was accept things as they were.

Except that things as they were, were messy. And Commissioner Berkeley Rose hated mess.

Parker. Detective Drake Parker was a mess. A chain smoking, take-out eating, NON-FLOSSING, mess.

Not that that mattered. Mess he might be, but Parker was only a substitution. It didn't matter that the man hated to floss he was only there to provide a sexual outlet. He wasn't important, the only reason Berkley hadn't dumped him already was because getting rid of him would open the space for another person.

Another person to fuck.

Another person to distance himself from.

Another person in his already convoluted life.

Berkley ducked in the men's room of the restaurant and threw up.

Drake Parker stumbled into a grocery store and bought a six pack of the cheapest beer he could find. He paid for it with his already overburdened credit card and stumbled over to his apartment.

Checking the cat clock on his kitchen wall Drake noted that he had nine and a half hours before his next shift. Plenty of time to get drunk, mope, throw it up, take a shower and arrive at the station no more than twenty minutes late.

Popping open the first can, he sank into the second hand couch and sighed. This was the life; screwing superior, getting drunk, arriving to work late and with a hangover, getting yelled at by partner and superiors….repeat as necessary.

There just wasn't any point to doing anything else.

Author's notes- Well that ended on a high note. Don't worry, all hope is not lost for our anti-heroes. I'm sorry it took so long to get this up bet rest assured, the next chapter will probably take twice as long to write!

Doesn't that make you feel so much better?