The Difference of a Life
By Kraven Ergeist
xxxxx
July 7 – August 30, 2014
For a while, that's the way it was. Shinji and Rei would hang out, listen to music, and basically do the most menial things together.
One day, they spent the entire afternoon sitting on a park bench watching a fountain spray its water over itself.
"Water is so crucial to humanity," Rei commented. "It makes up 80 percent of the human body, and, when left without resources, a human will die of dehydration before anything else."
Shinji nodded. "Well, I guess it's a good thing that so much of Earth is made up of water."
Rei shook her head. "Though water makes up 70 percent of the earth's surface, a mere 20 percent of that water is freshwater. Of that freshwater, only 3 percent is drinkable."
Shinji sighed. "Then how have human beings survived? Even after Second Impact, our numbers have begun to grow again. Few people in the world ever die of thirst anymore."
Rei sighed, nodding. "You're right. Human beings are very resourceful. With that tiny percentile of drinkable water, man sustains himself and his children."
Shinji nodded back. "I guess it's thanks to human technology. Plumping, welling, hydroelectricity, damning…we really take as much advantage as we can of things in order to flourish."
Rei sighed. "One has to take full advantage of anything in order to attain the greatest output."
Shinji nodded, thinking about NERV. Did they take as much advantage of him and Rei in order to obtain the greatest results?
"Rei…are you religious at all?" Shinji asked.
Rei blinked. "Why do you ask?"
Shinji shook his head. "I don't know…I guess, because…well, suppose someone who believes in god takes second impact as a sign of His?"
Rei paused, thinking that over. "…They might lose hope in humanity…or in themselves. They might choose to repent…they might choose to sin…they might choose to return to their loved ones…they might choose to die alone…"
Shinji took her shoulder. "What would you do?"
Rei shook her head. "I would live. After all, I was born after Second Impact, and thus far, living has proven to be no difficulty."
Shinji smiled. "You're right. We should just live."
It was an awkward relationship. While growing all the more close, Shinji couldn't honestly say that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. They'd both gotten used to being around each other, and towards the end of the summer, both had grown accustomed to a certain degree of constant physical contact, ranging from holding hands to using one another as a pillow (One day, in the park, Shinji had spent upwards of three hours resting comfortable between Rei's legs, with his head on her stomach, neither of whom seemed to mind).
Yet, despite all of this, Rei didn't seemed to try anything to further their relationship, and Shinji didn't want to do anything to ruin what he already had with Rei, so he was at a dilemma.
"Rei?" he asked her once day on the lookout. They'd been on a first name basis for a while now.
She responded with her usual quizzical look she gave him.
"What do you…think…about our relationship?" he spit it out, looking away, embarrassed.
"That's difficult to say, Shinji," she said, calmly. "You are the only person in my age group, and really, in any age group at all, whom I've ever been so close to. Even Professor Akagi, who raised me since birth, has maintained a level of distance. You're the only person I've ever really trusted…"
She had been looking off in the distance, and now returned her gaze to Shinji.
"So, I think you might say…you're the closest friend I have…"
Shinji nodded, lowering his eyes. "Just a friend, huh?"
Rei gave him a stern look. "What else would you have me be? A lover?"
Shinji gulped. "Well…"
Rei shook her head. "Shinji…you're a smart person…you figure it out. We are both thirteen years old. We have no idea what else may lie before us. We've only started becoming close this past summer."
Rei leaned over him and put her arms around him.
"I am not saying the option does not lie ahead of us…but merely that it lies ahead, and not in the now. You must simply appreciate what we have now…"
Rei held him even closer, and Shinji cast a concerned eye her way.
"…After all…" she said, barely above a whisper. "…We may end up…losing everything that's between us…"
Shinji was concerned now. He turned himself around, tears filling his eyes, and held her in his arms. "Rei…don't say stuff like that…you make me think…" They both held each other like they'd never seen each other in years. "…You make me think that…there's no hope for any of us."
Rei looked up, forcing herself to smile. "Shinji…you're making me cry too…"
Shinji wiped his face. "Sorry…"
Rei rested her head on his shoulder. "…I'm sorry too…"
xxxxx
The day after, both acted as if nothing had happened. Which was how Shinji wanted it. After all, she hadn't said no. She just said wait. That, he could do.
And she was right. He should appreciate what he had. And besides – they were young. What did they know about love? Was this not Shinji's first real relationship with a girl? Wasn't that worth holding onto?
Apart from hanging out with Rei, Shinji began to notice how much less of his parents he was seeing. He was used to his mom being away at times, but now his dad was making himself scarce as well. It used to be that Yui would make it a point to make it home to dinner on the weekend, usually Sunday. Now, Shinji considered it a rarity to see either of his parents at all during the week.
He considered bringing Rei over at times. He didn't know what they'd do, but it would be some time they could be together and alone.
But every time he pondered such ideas, they never worked out. Professor Naoko Akagi, who was Rei's guardian, worked alongside Yui at NERV, and was close friends with her outside of work as well. This said, the old hag would know if Shinji was home alone, either by process of elimination, or, more likely, being told directly by Yui. It didn't take a genius to figure that she wasn't going to be letting a 13-year-old girl stay with an unsupervised 13-year-old boy, even for just the afternoon.
Besides, Rei wouldn't be willing to do anything they wouldn't normally do in broad daylight anyway, so there was nothing to accomplish in this task anyway, except for seeing her after hours.
This, however, was accomplished by Shinji's increasing visits to the Akagi residence for dinner.
These receptions were usually hosted by Ritsuko, who also worked at NERV. Her mother was usually never their, but Ritsuko was less involved with the company, so she would stay at home and have dinner with her adopted younger sister, Rei.
Shinji usually felt odd when talking with her. Like she always had her eyes on him. He told himself that it was do be expected – just sisterly protectiveness; her wondering what his intentions were to her sister.
During every visit, Shinji expected her to steal him away for a brief moment and either give him her most sincere blessing, or otherwise warn him that he so much laid a finger on Rei, that he would be promptly killed.
Typically, Shinji feared that it would be the latter.
But such conversations never arose. During dinner, she was very polite, made small talk, and behaved like an ordinary human being. Sometimes, conversations would turn towards private jokes between her and Rei. Other times, Shinji and Rei would be engrossed in some form of philosophical discussion, which usually included Ritsuko, arguing her own, scientific minded opinion. Other times, Ritsuko would simply go into long, drawn out narratives on scientific theory, half of which Shinji found interesting, the other half he felt like emulating Rei, who did not designate a single part of her attention towards the doctor, having heard all of these monologues twenty times over.
But Ritsuko never really opened up direct dialogue with Shinji, and if she did, it was always with Rei present, and Shinji couldn't tell if this was on purpose or not.
Shinji still enjoyed these visits, despite the odd caretaker. Because it meant more time with Rei.
But there was still the unanswered question: What were his parents so busy with all of the sudden?
xxxxx
Before the vast Eva known as Unit-01, Gendo and Yui stood, their eyes focused on the behemoth before them.
"The time is growing nearer," Gendo said.
Yui sighed. "We should have told the children long ago, Gendo. Why did we have to wait this long?"
Gendo shook his head. "Formal training had already begun. Combat training begins when school starts up. When we tell them, they will not be ill prepared. Don't worry. We have time, Yui."
Yui shook her head. "We never have time, Gendo."
Gendo was silent for a while.
"It won't be his mother protecting him in battle, Gendo," Yui said, now with fear in her voice.
Gendo placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Silly woman…you'll always be there for him. As I will. And for the girl."
Yui had to force back tears, as maternal instincts took hold of her. "They might die, Gendo. We're sending our own children into battle against the most powerful beings on the planet, armed with something that we barely even comprehend!"
Gendo sighed, nodding. "You forget, dear…when it all comes down, the Eva is the safest thing to be inside. Nothing can get to you. And while it may not be you protecting him, there is a soul inside of her. She has come to know her pilot well, and in battle, she will protect him. And Rei too. Both the children are under the greatest protection imaginable. It is us, dear, you and me, who are taking the risk by not piloting."
Yui nodded, sighing at the private joke. "Because adults can't pilot Eva, right?"
Gendo nodded. "Right."
Yui sighed, holding her husband close. "I wish it had never come to this."
Gendo nodded, holding her back. "Human beings brought this upon themselves. With our greatest accomplishments come our greatest downfalls. Sometimes, we risk everything, just to see how far we can go."
Yui nodded. "Human beings are…such sad creatures."
Gendo looked down at her, feeling as though she just stole his line. "There, there, dear…that doesn't sound like you at all! Where's all that scientific glee you felt when we first discovered Eva? Where's all that excitement at discovering just what role humanity plays in the world?"
Yui sighed, dislodging her arms from the commander. "Naoko once told me…there were three sides to herself. One was herself as a scientist, one was herself as a woman, and the third was herself as a mother. When we made that discovery in Antarctica…that was the scientist in me that made the decision to push on… And, I think, just now…I was playing the role of a mother, Gendo. After all, we seemed to be neglecting our children of late."
Gendo nodded, returning his gaze to the bio-mech in front of him. "We will tell them. Very soon."
xxxxx
The summer was waning out, and Shinji felt as though his time with Rei would decrease soon. Which was foolish – they both went to the same school, so they'd be able to see each other. But still, he felt this deep sinking feeling that the flow of time would find some way to separate them.
That said, he made it a point to spend as much time with her as he could that last week of summer.
"Are human beings any different from animals?" Rei pondered, watching as a porpoise swam through his tank.
They were at the zoo, enjoying the last remnants of summer sun, watching as marine mammals leapt about their tanks.
"Every species is different in some way," Shinji shrugged. "Human beings are just different in their brain power and their culture."
Rei nodded. "I suppose that makes sense. Though human beings tend to classify themselves as being above the animal kingdom."
Shinji sighed. "Everyone will find some way to make themselves seem irrefutably superior. It's a defense mechanism. Otherwise, we realize just how pathetic humans really are."
Rei blinked, turning his way. "You think humans are pathetic?"
Shinji nodded. "Yeah. We're the most intelligent species on the planet, and yet we're doing it the most harm. There are people in other parts of the world, whose differences account to less than a percentile of the amount of similarities, and they fight wars over them. Cultures clash, tolerance for one another decreases. We have such little instinct that we require constant nurture until the age of 18. And, I mean…" He lowered his voice, so that only she could hear him. "…We're the ones who caused Second Impact. Every way you look at it, in terms of survival and harmony with the rest of the world, humans are at the bottom of the list."
Rei nodded. "I see your point, Shinji. But don't forget, humans are also responsible for music, art, literature, science, technology, and despite all the harm we do, there are those who try to make it better. Those human who feel despair have only to turn to human institutions, whether it's the arts, academia, religion…"
"Religion that preaches singular views and promotes conflict against those that don't follow it," Shinji countered.
"And also provides hope for those that have lost all. Our sciences are making steady progress in technology and Medicare. Medicine and life support help extend the lives of those who would have died long before."
"Resulting in overpopulation, which taxes our natural resources," Shinji rolled his eyes.
"If it's overpopulation you're worried about, then you truly are in a fix. Both sides have negatives. On one side, you can't afford to support the growing population, and on the other side, there's no way to slow the increase, and no moral way to dispose of it."
"Maybe morals and laws don't exist to better human beings and society, but to make it easier for us to be governed and controlled?"
Rei sighed. "That's the rationale of paranoid psychopaths and adolescent rebels. Don't forget, our technology also exists for convenience, making or lives easier."
"Which, in turn, inspires laziness, and reliance on technology, which lowers our health and our mental and physical capability."
"Would you rather things remain frozen, with no progress at all? With everything remaining as it is?"
Shinji gave Rei a look, as she smiled. She had won.
"You're right, Rei…I guess all we can do is move forward."
Rei smiled, clinging to his arm. "Good. Now that will be all for any talk degrading humanity."
Shinji sighed, as they trekked on.
xxxxx
It was dark by the time Shinji brought Rei home. Before she opened the door, Shinji took her hand.
"Rei, I…listen…about…what I said the other day…about our relationship…"
Rei turned to him, a look that told him exactly how she would react if he said what he was about to say.
"Rei…I just want you to know that…whatever happens…I'll be waiting for you…no matter what comes between us, whether its NERV, school, differences, affairs, anything…I just want you to know that…you're the person I want to be with."
Rei looked downcast, refusing to let their eyes meet. She knew it would be too difficult for her if she did.
"Thank you, Shinji," she said. "But I already knew this to be true…"
She wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him, burying her face in arms. She felt his hands crawl up her shoulders, folding around her frail body like an envelope, his fingers pressing into her, as he clutched her close to him. She could feel him shudder as he held her, and she wondered for a moment what was concerning him so.
But no, she knew not to dwell on the negative, especially with Shinji. She allowed herself to enjoy this moment, and let him enjoy it was well.
Shinji placed the slightest kiss on her forehead, before letting her go.
"Goodnight, Rei," he said, happiness in his soggy eyes.
Rei blinked back tears of her own. "Silly…I told you before…crying doesn't solve anything…it just makes me cry."
Shinji sighed, before hugging her once more. "Sleep well, Rei."
Rei nodded. "You too, Shinji."
Rei unlocked the door, passed one last look at Shinji, before leaving.
Shinji sighed and turned away to make his way home to an empty house.
xxxxx
August 31st, 2014
School came all too early for Shinji. Before he knew it, summer was over, and it was back to the grindstone. The plus side was that he got to see Rei on a regular basis. The only negative part of this was that they rarely got to speak with each other, except during lunch.
Toji and Kensuke were also there, and were somewhat fed up with Shinji's neglect of them over the course of the summer. So, after removing himself from a rather lengthily strangle hold, Shinji attempted to justify himself to his friends.
"Honest guys…I meant to hang out with you…but, you know, I'm…kinda seeing someone."
Toji's eyes lit up. "Oh, really? So…how is that going for you, Shinji?"
Shinji shrugged. "I'm enjoying it…though, I would prefer it go faster. Rei wants to take things slowly, so I'm just coasting. Which is fine, I guess, we're enjoying ourselves…only downside is, all my time goes to her in a reverent effort to try and get closer to her."
Kensuke shrugged. "Well, no worries for today…she's not in school."
Shinji blinked. "I've noticed that…where is she?"
Toji shrugged. "No matter. That leaves the afternoon free for us, so you can tell us all about your summer…"
"What?"
"…and pay for our drinks at the café as penance…" Kensuke added.
"Wait a minute!"
"…and let us over to your place, so we can play video games all night long," Toji finished."
Shinji sighed. "You guys have no life…"
xxxxx
Where Rei was, precisely, was 5000 ft below the ground, floating in a vat of LCL, running some preoperational diagnostics.
"Today's the day, Rei…" Yui said, kindly, from behind the glass. "The Commander and I are going to tell Shinji about the true purpose of Eva. You are to be there, so I want you to act surprised. I don't think it'd be a good idea to let him know how much you know about all this."
Rei opened her eyes and nodded. "Understood, Commander."
Behind her, Commander Ikari and Professor and Doctor Akagi all stood, in contemplation. The coming days would not be pleasant.
For them, or for the children.
xxxxx
Five hours, and 20,000 yen later, Shinji made his way to NERV. He'd spent the past six years of his life going there, syncing with Eva Unit-01. He'd been so young at the time, he'd never really thought it odd that he and Rei were the only children in his class to ever pilot the things, who even knew about NERV and second impact.
When he arrived at NERV, he was pleased to find Rei standing at attention, as well as both of his parents, and Rei's guardian and adoptive sister as well.
"Hey Rei. Hi Mom, hi Dad. Good evening Professor Akagi. Hello Ristuko…" Shinji said, addressing them all in turn.
Gendo smiled and Yui stepped forward and hugged him. "Welcome once again to NERV, Shinji. Tonight, we are going to reveal something to you of the utmost importance to you."
Shinji cast a nervous glance at his father, who just smiled. He looked at Rei, who just shrugged as honest-looking as she could. Ritsuko and her mother were unreadable.
"What's this all about, guys?" Shinji pondered out loud.
Yui dropped to her knees, clutching her child by the shoulders, staring him right in the eyes.
"The world as you know it is about to end."
xxxxx
Well, that about sums it up for that chapter. I liked the way it turned out, I enjoyed the random, plot-filling philosophical discussion that went on between Shinji and Rei. It was a way to give them something to do, and a way for me to preach a bit to the audience.
Sorry for taking so long – I wanted to get it just right, and I think it did. I'm feeling a weensy bit of inspiration coming on, so I might get more done relatively soon – if we're lucky.
Stay tuned.
I'm out.