Evangelion Fan Fiction

The Difference of a Life

By Kraven Ergeist

xxxxx

September 4th, 2015

Rei was scowling when she arrived at school the next morning.

Few took notice, but those that did pondered the fact. Rei never scowled before. Sure, she looked cold and aloof, but she was never outright angry. She was never outright any emotion.

What on earth could have caused this anomaly?

Shinji walked in through the door, a small, tiny hope that what he heard last night was some horrible nightmare. Hopefully, his eyes darted to where Rei sat.

Rei's scowl fell for just a moment, long enough for her to shake her head twice, before returning her stare out her window.

Shinji swallowed a hard pain in his throat, as he stumbled to his chair, tossing his bag to the floor, and fell rather than sat in his chair.

He set his head in his arms and covered his face. But the tears wouldn't come.

What did this have to be happened? What did the world have against him? How did circumstances bring him to this situation? A few days ago, he actually felt that things weren't so bad in his life. He had a fairly decent life – albeit, on the brink of some holy war – a nice family, when they were home, some pretty decent friends…and a girl he was absolutely crazy over.

Now what? His family, his friends, his school, his job all seemed meaningless and bothersome. And it had happened in less than a week's amount of time.

"Hey, Shinji," came a voice. "What's wrong?"

Shinji sat up.

Asuka.

Ever since she came here, things have only been going downhill. She had been after him in some form or another since she laid eyes on him, and seemed set on making both his and Rei's life as painful as possible.

Shinji grunted and got out of his chair, stepping out the door.

"Shinji?" the redhead asked again, chasing after him.

Shinji scowled at her, but kept walking down the hall. "What?"

Asuka blinked. "Uh…what's going on?"

"What do you want, Soryu?" Shinji demanded. "Why the hell should I even talk to you?"

Asuka started. "What?"

"Everything was going fine, until you showed up!" Shinji was shouting now, still pacing rigidly. "After you showed up, nothing's been right! Why did you even come here? To ruin my life?"

Asuka stared back hard. "What in the-"

"Get away from me!" Shinji commanded, tears flowing freely. "I never want to see you again! It's your fault! It's all your fault!"

Asuka watched aghast as Shinji took off down the hall, bursting through the exit doors and back onto the street.

"What was…" Asuka gawked. She was about to say 'what was that all about?' but the thought died on her lips, as the boy she was talking to ran away as fast he could.

Nearly the entire class was standing outside the door looking at her when Asuka turned back to the classroom. There was a pause, before they all turned around and strutted back into the classroom.

Sitting at her seat, not having moved once, Rei felt a tear run down her cheek.

"Shinji…"

xxxxx

During lunch, both Rei and Asuka waited for the classroom to empty. Both had an uncomfortable knowledge of the other's presence, and neither was truly enjoying the prospect of the inevitable conversation before them.

Asuka dropped the ball. "So what's up with Shinji?"

Rei said nothing. She didn't even divert her eyes from the window.

"Look," Asuka grunted. "I know you don't like me. And damned if I feel any better about you. But I know the way you feel about Shinji…and I…I know that…you know how I feel as well…"

Rei turned to face the other, looking puzzled.

"What I mean to say is…God, I can't believe I'm saying this…" Asuka muttered, turning away. "We need to put aside our differences and help Shinji. Now what has happened?"

Rei looked away for a moment, before finally speaking.

"My mother has forbidden me from seeing Shinji any longer."

Asuka blinked.

Her first reaction should have been glee. This was her chance! Now, Rei couldn't stand between her and her prize.

But she didn't.

Instead, she felt regret. The way Shinji acted…the way he blew up at her; so angry and confused…she could tell why he was angry now. And she could see that, compared the way he felt about Rei…the way she herself felt about him was…insignificant.

She had trouble admitting this to herself. Maybe she shouldn't have gone after him at all. It's not like he was such a spectacular guy anyway. What had initially drawn her to him in the first place?

"As you can see, there is little either of us can do," Rei said, sullenly, returning her gaze to the window. "Though…I appreciate your concern."

Asuka gritted her teeth. No. Never had Asuka Langley Soryu been faced with a dilemma she couldn't solve.

"Yes…" she muttered, her face contorting into a sick twisted smile. "There is."

Rei looked back at the girl, a look of astonishment growing on her face. "What?"

Asuka held a hand over her chest, proudly. "I'll have you know, being the daughter of the High Commander of the First Branch of NERV comes with its benefits. Both your mother and your sister are NERV employees, right?"

Rei nodded.

Asuka smiled. "Good. Then leave everything to me."

Rei blinked, her face bearing a look of one who was just saved by their mortal enemy.

"…Why? Why are you…helping me?"

"I'd like to think," Asuka smiled, looking away, though in truth, was looking deeply into herself. "That I'm mature enough to admit that…even though, Shinji clearly feels more for you than he does for me…I still care enough about him to do what's best…for his interests…"

Rei had spent her life adhering to the principles of self-discipline, never letting herself be caught off guard, never letting her emotions getting the better of her. It was rare for ever her rigid poise to slip.

Now was such a time.

"…Thank you…Asuka."

xxxxx

Naoko Akagi, with Ritsuko at her side, marched steadily into Commander Ikari's office. Yui sat comfortably, going over a file and some paperwork, Gendo standing just behind her.

"Ah, Naoko, you're here," Yui said. "I take it you made good on your word?"

"And then some," Naoko nodded. "Although, Rei didn't take it at all well."

Yui nodded, sighing. "No, I didn't expect her to. Shinji didn't take it well either. In fact, he's been missing all day. Section two was dispatched not long ago."

Naoko looked uneasy. "He'll show up."

Yui nodded. "He will…"

Naoko shuffled her feet, unable to shake the feeling that she had missed something. "Commander, is there something on your mind?"

Yui closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. "I want you to run a full sync test on all three children as soon as Shinji is found."

Naoko frowned. "You don't think this…breakup will affect either of their sync levels, do you?"

Yui folded her hands before her face, a habit she had learned from her husband. "Naoko…the fact that it would affect their sync levels was a given. The question is how much."

Naoko mused, turning her eyes away.

"Ritsuko," Yui diverted, addressing the younger scientist behind Naoko. "Do you have those data sheets I requested?"

Ritsuko snapped to attention, her face markedly redder than normal. "Yes ma'am!"

She deposited the papers on the commander's desk a bit hastier than usual.

"Very good, then," Yui nodded, noting the scientist's behavior. "You're dismissed. Naoko, may I have a word?"

Ritsuko gave a bow and trotted out of the office, blushing all the way. Naoko looked concerned. "Commander…you're not going to ask me to rescind my directions to Rei, are you?"

Yui blinked. "Hmm? Oh, no, no…this will blow over eventually. Actually, I was meaning to inquire about your other daughter. She seems a bit…hesitant around me. You don't suppose she's intimidated by me, do you?"

Naoko looked back at the door. "Ritsuko? Well, she's normally a bit more collected, and she always proper around others. Maybe she admires your work. You are, after all, the world's highest authority in bio-mechanical science."

Yui snickered. "Oh, come now. I pale in comparison to you, Naoko."

The older woman sighed. "Now, Yui, I'm not getting into another compliment battle with you."

Yui nodded. "Very well."

"Besides, you're the head of NERV," Naoko added, with a giggle. "You outclass me exponentially."

"But don't forget," Yui shot back. "You discovered the Geo-Front."

"Ah, but don't you forget," Naoko sneered. "You conceived of Eva."

"No, no, no, let's be fair," Yui went on. "You discovered Adam."

"Well, I could have hardly done it without your assistance, Yui."

Gendo stifled a sigh, silently wishing for a chair.

This could go on for hours.

xxxxx

Whether or not Shinji planned on returning home was anyone's guess. As fed up and insecure as he felt, they'd probably have to drag him back kicking and screaming. But for now, he meandered around Tokyo-3, content to simply linger and ponder the cruel hand dealt to him that day.

He had already discounting Asuka's fault in the matter. Already, the logic in his mind undid the bravado he had initially clung to. He had just been making excuses. He knew in his mind that fate had simply come out some undesirable way. The only thing one could do when that occurred was to try to fix it. The only problem was that fixing this problem was outright impossible no matter how Shinji looked at it.

Ritsuko may have been aloof and unfamiliar, but Shinji had always seen Naoko as downright wicked. Shinji always dreaded the nights when his mother used to invite her over for dinner. Though she always acted sweet and kind, Shinji could see the cold scoff beneath her features.

He had absolutely no hope to reason with her, especially where Rei, her own daughter, had failed.

And so, Shinji walked.

The growing resonance of helicopter blades made their presence known over his SDAT as Shinji saw Section Two officers land and approach.

He stopped his march. He would not fight them, but he would not willingly go to them either.

Then he saw someone he hadn't expected to see.

"…Captain Katsuragi?"

Misato smiled, weakly. "Hey, Shinji. What's up?"

xxxxx

"So, Rei's mom won't let you two go out anymore?" Misato asked, once they were seated in the helicopter.

Shinji shook his head.

"I see…" Misato mused. "That is a bit of a fix. Mothers tend to be protective of their young, usually more so with their daughters. I don't think my mother ever let me date guys. Of course, she died during Second Impact when I was about your age, so I was probably let off easy."

Shinji flinched. "Your mother…died?"

Misato nodded, looking away, a distant look on her face. "Yeah, well, stuff happens, you know? My father died too that day. It's funny, though…I used to hate him. He neglected the whole family, and I hated him for it. But that day…he died to save my life. It's something that always confused me, that someone who demonstrated no care for his family gave his life for me. It's been confusing me ever since."

Shinji sighed, suddenly fascinated by the steel patterns on the floor. "I never knew you had such a story…"

Misato waved it off. "Aw, well, I'm rambling, and in any case, it doesn't really pertain to your problems. Just be sure that…even if her mother won't allow anything…I'm sure that Rei's feelings haven't changed."

Shinji nodded, the weight bearing down on him somewhat relieved. "Thanks Captain…"

Misato smiled. "No problem. Oh, and no hard feelings on running away – I for one am sympathetic, though I can't guarantee anything from the brass."

Shinji rolled his eyes. "Why thank you, Captain, that makes me feel so much better."

xxxxx

Yui bit her lips, as she personally observed the sync tests that took place that day. Shinji, Rei and Asuka were each in the LCL test tubes, each of them syncing with their Eva's persona, none of them truly thinking about it.

"Come on, Shinji…" Yui muttered through gritted teeth.

Behind her Naoko frowned, her fears growing with each passing second.

Ritsuko looked up from her station at the monitor. "First Child, synchronizing at seventeen percent! That's barely a third of her previous score!"

"Check Shinji," Yui said, sternly.

"Uh…yes ma'am!" Ritsuko said, her thoughts on the Eva's lost entirely by her thoughts of pleasing the commander. "Second Child, synchronizing at…ten percent…and…decreasing…"

Both Yui and Naoko let out a breath of air they'd each been holding. Their worst fears confirmed.

Still desperate to please her senpai, Ritsuko kept reading. "Third Child, synchronizing at…synchronizing at…three percent?"

That got the attention of the brass.

"What?" Yui blinked. "Why would Asuka be affected by this? Ritsuko, patch in the radio link."

Ritsuko diligently obeyed.

"Third Child…what seems to be the problem?"

Asuka's sullen face appeared on the screen before the commander. "It isn't right. It just isn't right."

Yui shook her head. "What's not right?"

Asuka's stare suddenly became hard and accusatory. "You tore the two of them apart, didn't you?"

Yui blinked. "Wh…what?"

Asuka glared hard. "Look, when you offered to help me with Shinji, I didn't mean for you to go and tear him away from the girl he liked!"

Shinji's face suddenly appeared on screen. "What? Mom? You mean to tell me…you mean to tell me that you were behind all this!"

Yui backpedaled just a step. "Now…Shinji…I only did what I had to do…"

Shinji wasn't even listening. Dropping his face, he began to shake. "Why would you...? How could you...? Are you going to deny me everything I'm ever going to want!"

Rei stayed quiet, going over this new bit of information. That would explain why Mother waited as long as she has to reveal her knowledge.

Yui stumbled over her thoughts as Naoko let a snicker slip. "Looks like you went overboard, Yui."

Yui threw her subordinate a glare. "Don't try to pretend that you weren't relieved when I said I'd do it. I simply thought that with Asuka around, he wouldn't take it so hard! That he could let it go!"

Naoko smirked. "And Rei? What did you think would happen to her? Or did you just think your child was the only one who mattered?"

Yui cringed. She had been foolish and she knew it. "Look…right now, our respective intentions in deciding this aren't important. The fact of the matter is, the decision has left us without any effective pilots! The angel's attack in two days, Professor! Two days!"

Shinji and Asuka blinked. "What? Angels?"

Yui covered her mouth. She had spoken out in her frustration. "Never mind. Look, like it or not, this is the way things are. Your relationships, as important as they may be to you, come secondary to defending the Earth!"

Shinji gawked. "Defending the Earth? Since when were we defending the Earth? I thought we were just defending this city!"

Asuka growled, not leaving Yui any chance to respond to her son's question. "I don't care who it is we'll be fighting! If there's nothing for us to fight for, than we don't have any reason to pilot!"

Yui glared at the red head, genuinely pissed at her. "Tell me this, Asuka…why in God's name aren't you ecstatic with me? I gave you your chance! Why didn't you take it?"

Asuka spat back. "Cause I'm not some heartless scumbag who manipulates those around her!"

Yui froze.

Was she…? Was she really trying to control her subordinates? Her pilots? Her own children?

Yui weakened, sitting back down in her chair. "I guess I'm no better than those fucking monoliths…"

Naoko watched her commander, trying to decipher her reasoning.

Yui lowered her gaze. "I'll say it again…Shinji…Rei…Asuka…your relationships come secondary to defending the Earth."

Rei's face finally appeared on screen. "On the contrary, Commander…the relationships we share…the social web work that we base our lives off of…the very fabric of our humanity… You must understand that it's all that we have, Commander. You're asking us - ordering us to face things that no other human has ever had to face. Our future two days henceforth will be a living hell, both for us and for the people we bring into the war. The Angels we fight-"

"Rei, that will be enough!" Yui shouted.

"The Angels we fight…are stronger than anything humanity has ever seen. It takes the power of these colossal war machines to-"

"Pilot Ayanami, I gave you a direct order!"

"-To beat them. If we are…if we are to be put through that…we must have something…something to live for. A reason to keep on fighting. You've taken that away from us, Commander. If you can't allow us to embrace what we truly want in our lives…then we, no matter how many times you order us, cannot fight this war."

There was a long silence that followed, one for all who heard to reflect on. Yui knew that what her blood daughter was saying was true. Naoko knew it too – though, she was convinced it was just her daughter being hormonally radical.

But neither could truly figure out why Asuka, of any of them, was suffering the lowest score.

Yui stood. "Naoko, stop the tests. Pilots, you're dismissed."

Without preamble, all three children left to go.

xxxxx

"Well, that didn't seem to accomplish much," Shinji muttered, facing Asuka. He was still a little suspicious about her behavior, chipper almost.

The children were all seated in a private lounge. They had been told to wait there for a meeting with the commander as soon as they had changed.

"You underestimate me, Second Child," Asuka said, flipping her hair.

"Soryu…" Rei muttered. "You weren't really suffering a loss in sync rate, were you?"

Asuka winked. "Course not. I just did that to try to persuade them further."

Rei blinked. "You can…control your sync rate like that?"

Asuka smiled. "Who do you think I am? Of course, I can control my sync ratio!"

Shinji faced the German redhead. "Asuka…the way I acted this morning…"

Asuka held up a hand. "You were a real prick this morning. I'm not denying it, but I will say that I deserved every word of it."

Shinji frowned. "No you didn't."

Asuka smiled. "Well, maybe not all of it, but you can't mean to tell me that I wasn't an utter bitch the other night."

Shinji shrugged. "Well, let's just say we're square then. Friends?"

Asuka stared at the hand he offered, with a smirk. "Yeah, well, don't get too comfortable with the idea. We still haven't convinced your mom to let you two go out."

Shinji nodded. "Oh…about that…what exactly were you planning?"

Asuka glanced at her watch. "Don't worry…he should be arriving any minute now…"

Shinji had about three seconds to think 'huh?' before the doors of the lounge flew open, and a very, very angry looking Yui stormed in, followed by an equally peeved Naoko, and a comparatively stoic Gendo.

"Now, are the three of you going to explain yourselves, or do I have lock you in the barracks?"

Shinji gasped. "M-Mom?"

"Don't you 'mom' me, young man!" Yui blared. "Your behavior just now was insubordinate and unacceptable! And that goes for the rest of you as well!"

"And you, young lady," Naoko grabbed Rei's wrist, not to be outdone. "Have a lot of explaining to do!"

"Commander Ikari," came a loud, domineering voice. "You would do well to release those pilots."

Yui was the first to look up. What she saw was a sturdy looking man with a traditional NERV officer's uniform, with as many stripes as his badge could hold.

"Wait…are you…?"

Naoko glanced up, and instantly stood rigid. "H…High Commander Soryu!"

"That's correct, professor," the sturdy man nodded. "I had not originally scheduled for a personal inspection until much later in the year, but as you can see, there has been a change of plans."

A loud voice broke through the rigid air of propriety like a pink fluffy teddy bear. "Daddy!"

Everyone watched Asuka run into the man's arm, clutching him possessively. "What took you so long?"

The High Commander of NERV softened up, returning his daughter's embrace. "Schnuckiputzi…I have missed you, my dear."

The rest of the room's occupants couldn't help but twitch their eyes as the Supreme Commander of the world's most powerful organization bawl like baby over his daughter, who milked the old codger for all he was worth.

"…And now they're blaming us, for not being able to pilot, just because they wouldn't let Shinji and Rei go out!"

High Commander Ryota Soryu adjusted his tie. Returning to a more or less presentable state, he cleared his throat. "Commander, Professor…I'd like to here what you have to say on the matter."

Naoko stood upright and rigid; the High Commander's quick temper and liberal use of managerial liberties were even more infamous than Yui's. As for said Commander…

"Sir, with all due respect, we are perfectly capable of handling our own pilots."

Commander Soryu shook his head, a deep frown stretching his old face. "Commander, I can see quite clearly what level of control you have over your pilots. I was briefed before I came here that the pilots most recent test scores were…less than admirable. I am holding you personally responsible for this, Commander, and if you prove to me that you are unable to produce results that will give this company something to be proud of, than I am going to start losing patience with you very rapidly."

Yui swallowed an insult. Having to deal with those old fossils was hard enough, but this was too much. What made it worse was that she knew perfectly well that Commander Soryu was merely a figurehead in NERV's game, and that SEELE would soon have him removed in favor of some less powerful figurehead. Still, as long as he was in power, he did still technically wield more authoritative power than she did.

"I…I understand, sir."

Ryota Soryu smiled, his temper momentarily suffused. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, I shall continue with the inspection. If you would…?"

"Of course," Yui almost spat. "I'll send you an escort at once."

The High Commander began to leave. "Oh, and do this one favor, and let the pilots go home now – I can tell from my daughter's telling that they have all been having a rather inhospitable time, and could use the rest."

Yui cracked a smile. "Of…course…sir…"

With that, the High and Head Commander of NERV, as well as its top scientist, left the room, taking all the children's problems with them.

At least, for now.

xxxxx

"Um…you want to explain to me what just happened?" Shinji asked, blank faced.

"But of course," Asuka intoned, holding herself high. "As I told Ayanami, being the daughter of the High Commander of NERV comes with its advantages."

Shinji raised an eyebrow. "So…your father…just got me and Rei off the hook?"

Shinji cast a glance at Rei. "Wow…so…now Rei and I can be together?"

Asuka laughed. "Well, not officially, but it's as good as done."

Shinji smiled. "Thanks, Asuka. You hear, that, Rei?"

No answer.

"Rei?"

The blue haired girl let out a prolonged sigh. "I have lost all faith in the company for which we work."

There was a slight pause, before both Shinji and Asuka burst out laughing.

xxxxx

A/N: Ok, so the fic suddenly became so unbelievable that the children now wield more power in NERV than its Commander. Oh well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm wondering whether or not I should add "humor" as an additional genre to this fic.

Read and Review.