Farewell Dear Friend

Chapter 7 Goodbye Maggie

Disclaimer: The TMNT belong to Mirage sigh

Maggie was still in bad shape. Splinter didn't want to leave her. Since April and Casey had chased anyone away who didn't know the turtles, the group took to sleeping in the house in shifts. When Raphael was finished with his turn he fell asleep with his back against the foot of the couch.

The sound of several new and strange voices caused Raphael to stir. "Huh? Who's there?" he muttered sleepily. Usually he woke up instantly like the others, but for some reason he couldn't get his brain in gear.

A very familiar voice calmed him. "Shhh It's all right, Raphael."

"Maggie?" Why couldn't he wake up? His body was unresponsive. He could smell fresh-cut grass and feel the warm sun on his skin, but he couldn't open his eyes. The strangest thing was that he wasn't alarmed at not being able to move. In every fiber of his body, he felt a strange peace he had never known before. I've got to be dreaming or something, he thought mildly, yet still completely unconcerned about himself. Yet, Maggie was here and he was worried about her.

"Maggie what are you doing out of bed?" he asked. In all the time he had known her, Maggie was never out of bed, except to go to the bathroom.

"It's all right," Maggie repeated. Raphael lifted his head, and forced his eyes open. His vision was slightly blurry. He saw an unfocused world of greens and blues. Maggie was kneeling at his side. For some reason she looked far younger than he could ever recall, and she was wearing a beautiful old style flowered dress. "Shhh go back to sleep," Maggie whispered in his ear. Then she added, "Tell Leo that his garden is very pretty, but I think I'm going to plant a few rose bushes to add some more color to the place."

It was just too hard to keep his eyes open. Raphael shut them again, and mumbled an affirmative. He felt her hand squeeze his arm gently, and he was almost back to sleep when suddenly he remembered something. The only time Leonardo had mentioned a garden was the time he had told Maggie about his two near-death experiences.

Raphael shook his head forcing himself awake. He sat up quickly, shifting the couch at his back as he did so. For a second he thought he still saw that beautiful green-blue place he had just dreamed about, but then he was back at the foot of the couch with the others grumbling around him.

"Raph, it's not my turn yet," Michelangelo mumbled half asleep from his spot on the couch. "Go back to sleep." Michelangelo rolled over and began snoring gently.

Leonardo, who shared the floor with Raphael, rolled over and looked up worriedly. "Raph, what is it?"

"Leo," Raphael whispered, trying not to wake the others. "I...I just had this dream, but it felt real and…" Raphael put his hand to his head. "It felt so weird! I was asleep and I couldn't wake up and - " he broke off as Donatello came down the hall. His face looked haunted. His mask was off and the area around his eyes was coppery colored as if he had been crying. That was when Raphael knew.

"Don?" Leonardo asked puzzled. "Donnie, what's wrong."

Raphael reached over and shook Michelangelo. "Mikey, wake up,"

Donatello just stood there as if he didn't see any of them. Michelangelo woke up and glared at Raphael, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Raph, I told you it's not my turn yet and, OW!" Raphael grabbed his arm and squeezed until Michelangelo quieted down.

"Not now, Mikey!"

Leonardo got up from the floor in a single fluid motion, and moved over to the rigid Donatello. "Come on, Donnie, tell us what's wrong."

Raphael looked up into Donatello's eyes and then bowed his head, feeling as if a hundred pound weight had just crashed into his emotions. He didn't wait for Donatello to tell them. "Maggie's gone," he said

Still not fully awake, Michelangelo asked, "Gone? Gone whe-,"but even as the words came out of his mouth, he realized what Raphael had meant. "Oh," he said very quietly and then didn't say anything after that.

April began to cry quietly. Casey put his arms around her and held her.

Leonardo looked back down the hallway. "Don, what about Master Splinter?"

Finally, Donatello came out of his paralysis. "He . . . he said he wanted to be alone with her right now."

Raphael suddenly found the house tight and confining. He needed to get where he could feel the air on his face. Without a word to the others, he left the living room and went up the back staircase onto the roof.

It was three in the morning and it was drizzling slightly. The rain didn't bother Raphael at all, though. In fact, it was cool and felt good on his skin. He sat there on the roof for a while, not thinking but just experiencing the feel of the rain striking his shell and skin, and the smell and taste of the water in the air. Finally, he began to think about the dream he had earlier and how he felt about it now. He always thought he would be angry when Maggie died, but he wasn't. He wasn't sure how he was feeling for the moment. As upset and angry as he wanted to be, Raphael couldn't shake the image of the dream out of his head. He remembered the scent of green grass, the warm sun, the wonderful peace that kept him from waking up, and the message that which was stuck in his head now.

That couldn't have just been a dream. No way, but then what was it?

"Raph?" Leonardo's voice cut through his thoughts, but he decided not to be annoyed about it. Especially when he realized the sky was growing brighter. "Raphael have you been up here the whole time? It's almost seven o'clock!"

"I had to get outside," he said flatly. He just didn't have any energy with which to be angry. "I...I had to think. Leo, I had the weirdest dream just before Don came out."

Leonardo dropped his voice as if staying quiet was going to make a difference in how Raphael felt. "You were going to tell me about it," he said quietly.

"I...I was someplace else, but I couldn't wake up. Maggie was there, and she said everything was okay. She said..." Suddenly tears started welling up in his eyes and he couldn't stop it. "Leo, she said your garden was pretty but she wanted to add a few rose bushes to it." Once the words were out, he felt the tears trickle down his cheeks. Why was he crying? Didn't the dream mean that Maggie was okay? Wasn't this what she wanted? All of his emotions were so confused, that he wasn't sure what to think.

Behind him, he heard Leonardo swallow hard. "So that's how you knew," he said. Leonardo took two steps forward, and placed a gentle hand on his brother's shell. "Maggie made it a point to say goodbye to you."

Raphael turned to Leonardo and, to his surprise, saw a few tears in his brother's eyes as well. "Why are you crying?" he asked as he rubbed the offending tears from his own eyes. "I mean, you know better than any of us know that's not the end of her."

Leonardo smiled. "Because I'm gonna miss her," he said with a great sigh. He drew closer and gazed out at the morning sun peering through the clouds. "Knowing where she is and that she's not alone doesn't make us miss her any less or fill the empty place inside." He coughed twice then shook himself out of his melancholy mood. "Come on," he said, sounding more like his normal business like self. "April called Maggie's lawyer and a few other people she was told to call. We have to get underground for a while until everything's settled."

Raphael nodded and began to follow Leonardo reluctantly back to the sewers. Donatello and Michelangelo were waiting just below the street for them.

"Where have you been?" Donatello said nervously. "We were starting to get worried."

For someone as straight edged as Leonardo, he was very good at lying. "Raph just needed to blow off some steam," he said evenly. "It's okay now."

Raphael looked at Donatello and Michelangelo's faces. It was obvious they hadn't been the only ones crying this morning. A thought crossed Raphael's mind and he looked at Leonardo mischievously. "Leo you didn't tell them what I told you."

"What?" Donatello asked a bit cross. He probably didn't know what could be funny right now.

Leonardo did, but he looked puzzled. "I thought it was going to only be us," he said.

"What?" Michelangelo now echoed Donatello's thought.

"Nah," the more he thought about it the more Raphael knew he was right. "I think it should be all of us."

Leonardo nodded. "Good, I do too," he said sounding satisfied.

"WHAT?" Both Michelangelo and Donatello shouted together.

Raphael and Leonardo both smiled.