Harry apperated outside the Three Broomsticks pub. It was the only business still open and close to Hermione's house. Before he set off noise from within caught his attention. So he turned to watch through the window. People of the magical community came here to unwind and enjoy a butterbeer with their friends. Harry's cold eyes filled with a longing. He missed the good old days. But soon he replaced his cold mask. He had no reason to be happy. Not one. As he began his trek down the street and towards Hermione house, memories began to fill his mind. One in particular. The one that made him who he was today.
Flashback
After Hermione told him that she was leaving. He didn't know what to say or do. The information that Dumbledore had given him about the newest deatheater attacks wasn't good and now she laid this on him out of the blue. The only thing he could think to say was harsh and cold. But he said it anyways. "I do understand Hermione. I understand that you do not think me good enough to be given a reason as to why my girlfriend of two bloody years would decided to leave. I understand completely." He then stomped back to his dormitory. He regretted saying those words, almost immediately. But refused to apologize.
Then he started to avoid Hermione at all cost. He even had his classes moved to private tutoring sessions. Dumbledore's idea. He ate all his meals in an empty, unused, classroom. He even stopped attending school functions such as dances and parties. The only people he was seen talking to was one of the professors. He withdrew into himself. He wasn't the caring young man that everyone grew to love, anymore.
One night, with the help of the Weasley twins, he snuck out of Hogwarts and flooed Diagon Alley. He has previously arranged a meeting with the head goblin to withdraw a large sum of money. After that was all done he personally delivered it to the head witch in charge of all properties bought and sold by magical folks within muggle London and bought the biggest house on the market. He knew that it was too big. And that he would never get use out of most of its rooms. But it held the same empty feeling as he did. And after Sirius was cleared he would let him move in with him. After that was all done he returned to Hogwarts and went on with his business. By the time graduation rolled around he was ready to leave. He had turned down all the offers to work for the Ministry of Magic and anything else that was offered to him. He wanted to be alone. He had heard people talking about Hermione giving the Head Girl speech, so he made sure that he was only around to accept his wizarding diploma and then he left. Ready to start his life of solitude.
End Flashback
He shook his head to remove that particular memory from his thoughts. His past was just that. The past. There was no way to change it. No way to make it right. He had tried. After graduation he had sent owl after owl to Hermione. But they all returned with the letters unopened. So he stopped caring and stopped sending owls. Why bother? She must have really wanted him out of her life.
Soon he was walking up the path of the small house. He looked around with disgust. This could only belong to Hermione. No one in their right mind would want to live there. He cleared his throat and knocked on the door. After waiting for a few seconds it opened and he heard the words that made his already cold heart turn colder. Can I help you, Sir? He knew that she was checking him out. He could feel it. "I am surprised, Ms. Granger, that you do not remember me." His voice was deeper and held an aurora of coldness around it. It was far from the voice she would remember. He knew that his appearance must be shocking. His skin pale and his eyes dimmed with black circles. He let out a chuckle seeing her confused face. "Tsk Tsk, Mione. I thought you would at least remember the apparent father of your child." He spat the last part out like it was poison in his mouth.
Hermione blinked at the man in front of her. He seemed familiar then his words registered. Apparent father of her child? "Harry?" It came out as a whisper. This was not the Harry she remembered. "W...what are you doing here?" She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat.
He smirked. "Ah, see. That wasn't hard, was it? I received your owl. And thought that I should check the situation out myself. Can't trust those feathered beasts to deliver anything correctly anymore." He said in a lazy tone that just oozed Malfoy influence.
She blinked and her eyes lit up. He wanted to see Lily. She could have just hug him. But something about him made her stop. Her eyes narrowed and she waited for him to continue. Being his friend for four years and girlfriend for two, made her understand him better than most people.
He saw her eyes light up and his smirk seemed to grow. "I don't think you understand Ms. Granger. I am here to reject you and the little vial beast in person. I thought that seeing the look on your face would be worth the trip." He chuckled darkly.
She took a step back as his words cut her. He didn't want anything to do with them. And he called Lily a vial beast. How could he be so cold? "How can you say that about your own daughter, Harry. She never did anything to you." She looked at him with disgust showing in her eyes.
Harry looked at her with an eye brow raised. "How can I say that about my daughter? Your mistaken Hermione. I have no daughter. I have no friends and most important of them all...I don't really care. I care for nothing. I feel nothing. So this is your wake up call. I want nothing to do with you or that child. Is that understood? I will have you arrested and sent away if you attempt to contact me again over this nonsense." His heart was pounding with each word he spat at her. Then he turned on his heels, his Slytherin cloak bellowing out behind him and started down the walkway.
Hermione stood there with her mouth hanging open. Never noticing Lily watching the exchange between the adults.
Lily had heard the word father and was curious. But after hearing the mean words, tears began to silently run down her pink cheeks. "Momma" She says between tears.
Hermione spun around to face the crying Lily and picked her up.
"Am I a little beast?" Lily sniffled and buried her head in her mothers neck.
Hermione rubbed her back. How dare he do that? She turned and started out after him, Lily held safely in her arms. "Harry James Potter! Who the bloody hell do you think you are? Coming here and disrupting our lives? I wanted to include you in Lily's life and you all but mocked me. I don't even know you anymore!" Her voice came out in an angry whisper towards the end.
Harry stopped in his tracks having heard Hermione's words. He spun around to face her and the child in her arms. He took several steps towards her and stops. "What the hell do you think I'm doing? What does it look like I'm doing? Something I should have done long ago. I'm rejecting you. So how does it feel?" He was silent for a moment. "You named her Lily. How dare you use my mother's name without my permission? You wanted to include me in her life? How old is she Hermione? Wait I believe your letter said five. Dammit Hermione! If you wanted to include me why wait five bloody years. I know the answer. It's because you didn't want me around. You ended it five years ago and wanted nothing to do with me. I wasn't good enough for you. Then you have the nerve to send me an owl stating I have a daughter. You want to know what I think? I think that your got yourself knocked up after graduation and now you want to blame me. Well it isn't going to happening. I'm not that foolish little boy anymore, Hermione. I will not be apart of your games. Not now. Not ever!" He was screaming by the time he got the last words out.
Hermione stood there with tears in her eyes. Each word of his hitting like a physical blow. He didn't think Lily was his. She hadn't been with anyone but him. He was her one and only. "Harry, I left five years ago because I found out I was pregnant. That night I told you that I was leaving was the night that I found out. I couldn't handle being around you. Knowing that you could die at any second and leave me and the baby alone. So I took the first steps. I left before I could be hurt. We were just kids, Harry. I wasn't thinking about being a mother at that age and I'm sure you weren't thinking about being a father. I actually expected you to try and stop me. But then I started to see less and less of you until finally I never saw you. Not at meals, not during class, not even in the hallways. You showed up at graduation for a whole five minutes then left again. You didn't care that I was leaving so why bother trying to tell you then? Then I started to get your owls. Why read them? It was probably some smart ass retort to what I told you. So I sent them back. By the time I was ready to read them...they had stopped. I sat at the window while Lily was asleep and prayed for an owl to swoop in. But none ever came. She is yours Harry. I never slept with anyone but you. You were my first and my last. It took me so long to tell you because...because I was afraid of how you would react. I was afraid all of this would happen." She looked up at him with tears running down her cheeks. "I was afraid you wouldn't believe me."
Harry let out a breath. She left because she was pregnant. She knew and never told him. Another low blow to add to his list. He clenched his jaw and fists. "We were together for two years Hermione. Two bloody years! I knew when you wanted left alone. So I left you alone. I withdrew into myself. Seeking comfort only from my thoughts of revenge. How would I get the filthy little mudblood back? Draco actually suggested something rather good. But I didn't bother to go through with it. Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I was in pain too? That's why I avoided you like a plague?" He looked down at the ground and scuffs his right foot. "I was going to ask you to marry me...at graduation. I had the ring and everything. Then you came up with the brilliant idea to leave me. What the hell was I supposed to do? My whole life was ripped out from under me within a few seconds. I loved you Hermione. I was willing to do anything for you. When I was little...I always wondered why my parents were taken away from me. Then I vowed to be a good father when I had kids. But those dreams were again ripped away from me. I can't do this Hermione. Not after five years of becoming who I am. I can't change. Not even for you. If you want money I will send it to you. But other than that I can't help you."
Hermione stood there, rocking the small child. "You were going to ask me to marry you, why? Like you just said. I'm nothing but a filthy little mudblood . The famous Harry Potter could do better than me. If you had truly loved me...you would have fought for me. Not avoided me like I had some incurable disease. You can change Harry. I know you can. I want you. I want the real you not this...shell that I see before me. I want Lily to know her father. The man who used to be kind and gentle, so full of love. The man who helped create her out of that love. Not this cold hearted bastard that I see before me. I don't want your money, Harry. I want you. All of you."