Hey, guess what? The plot pickles have come to a compromise… I now present chapter four!

Chapter Four

Something to Contest With (Inside Jokes and Other Folks)

Fifteen Reasons Why Ronald Weasley and I, Hermione Granger, Will Never Ever be More Than Friends. Ever.

With commentary by Ginny Weasley, who thinks all of that is a load of bollocks. And who is excited to finally meet THE Jamie.

Ginny!

Sorry couldn't help myself.

That's alright, just make sure you don't eat so much sugar next time…

I'm only a little hyper!

Right. Anyhow, on with the list…

Listdidistdistdist…

1. I do not fancy Ron.

2. He does not fancy me.

Right okay, and I'm Moaning Myrtle's personal secretary, nice to meet you.

3. He does not appreciate the fascinating books that I do, and any boy I might CONSIDER fancying, must like all the books that I do.

Are you planning to be single your entire life then?

4. Imagine for some outrageous, unbelievably life threatening reason, I happened to have married Ron. At family reunions and get-togethers I should not be scared for my life because of his psychopathic brothers (i.e. Fred and George). Which I most certainly am after tonight.

YOU IMAGINED MARRYING RON!

5. He doesn't like Crookshanks.

Don't tell anyone I told you, But he's secretly hiding he's true passions for Crookshanks. So tragic, their forbidden love...

6. Ignoring the last repulsive comment. There is no reason IN THE WORLD I should have any desire to fancy Ron.

I, desire, fancy, Ron, got it. Sorry, did you say something else?

7. We are nothing a like!

knew mum had some sense in her with that opposites attract rubbish.

8. I argue with him more than my own mother.

Dear me, we need couple counseling already do we?

9. People I fancy can't have obnoxious sisters.

Ya and, HEY!

Haha just kidding Ginny.

10. He might be a spawn of Satan out to get me.

Please don't say anything to Ron about it though, he's very sensitive about that…

11. He's a redhead and I don't date redheads. Starting now.

Well I'm glad there are no superficial reasons, you truly have your priorities in place Hermione.

12. I'm writing a list on why I won't date him. Is that not enough?

No, not really.

13. I still fancy Vicktor.

YOU LIE!

14. He can be so irritating. If someone fancies another they wouldn't go off be irritating.

It's Ron's special way of showing his true love for you. Next to Crookshanks course...

Right.

Or at least he showed his love a mere three hours ago...

15. That never happened.

Haha! I know, short but it got your attention. Yesterday I didn't update because it was father's day and my dad just came home from a convention in Washington (Discovery is the big two 0! Woohoo!).

So ya'll review now! Chapter five will be up soon I hope…

Thanks to my reviewers:

Bruisedpapaya- I'm glad you can almost picture it, Thanks for reviewing

dancerrdw- I hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks

druccillamalfoyrox- Hermione's fit was fun huh? Lol GOOOO PENGUINS! Oh and thanks lol

niwrem- Why thank you. I've always felt that Fred and George's insanity would lead them to world domination…with the penguins of course!