A/N: Thanks for the replies guys, keep them coming! I'd love some feedback on what people like and don't like etc…. Here is Chapter 12 now some of you may have missed chapter 11 because although it was posted, the story never moved to the top, nor did the chapter number change. Also a prewarning: Chapter 13 will contain some heavy stuff so just warning you.

Oh and the song is I Shall Believe by Sheryl Crow

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Redemption
Chapter Twelve

"Have you ever heard the name Khasinau before? Alexander or Petrov Khasinau?" Jack gripped her right shoulder tightly. "Think clearly, have you ever heard that name before?"

She was silent for several moments, her respiration shaky and irregular. Finally she spoke.

"Yes."

"When?"

"My dad, I don't really remember him, but before he died he was arguing with, with my mom." Kathryn squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to remember. "It was right before he died, the day-no the night before. They were fighting, they woke me."

"What were they fighting about?"

"I don't know," she shook her head. "They were speaking another language. It might have been Russian, but I'm not sure. She said his name a couple times, I was scared, I was hiding on the stairs and they couldn't see me. She said it, she said Alexander Khasinau. She was crying, she was upset, but she said it. And then she saw me. He killed himself the next day, I found him in the bathtub…."

"Okay that's enough," Sydney interrupted. "She's had enough," she told her father and helped Kathryn to her feet. "What did Dixon say?"

"He wanted us to bring her in."

"What did you say?"

"That we weren't moving tonight, the safest place for her is right here."

"Thank you," she wrapped the blanket around Kathryn. "Come on Katy, I'll get you some dry clothes."

~ ~ ~

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe

She was supposed to be sleeping, she couldn't, she didn't think she could ever sleep again. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was red. The images were burned into her memory. All she wanted to do was just forget but she couldn't see that happening anytime soon. The moon was bright, the rain had long since stopped but it was still cold and she shivered.

"I thought I told you to stay away from the window."

Kathryn turned slightly and saw Jack, he stood in the doorway; she shrugged.

"Everyone else is asleep," Jack entered the room.

"I couldn't sleep," she turned her attention back to the window tracing imaginary designs on the fogged window.

"Couldn't, or wouldn't."

She ignored him. "What happens now?"

Jack took a blanket from the bed and walked over to her spreading it over her. "Tomorrow we will take you back to the Operations Center." He sat down on the window seat next to Kathryn. "Director Kendall wants you to undergo a hypnotic regression therapy session, however I advise against it."

"What is it?"

"You are hypnotized and monitored closely and the doctor takes you through your memories, that way we can possibly find out details that you can't remember."

"Seems harmless enough, why did you say no?"

"Because it isn't harmless Kathryn." Jack turned to face her and for a moment she thought she saw a flicker of actual concern showing through his voice. "Hypnotic regression is dangerous, you relive your experience moment by moment. We wouldn't even know where to start with you. The outcome could cause more harm that is intended."

"But it's my choice?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then I'll do it."

"Kathryn you cannot understand the full-"

"All I have ever wanted since I was five was a family," Kathryn blinked away her tears forcing herself to look directly at Jack. "Arvin Sloane was the only person who came close to that and now I know he was just using me. Now I have her, Sydney, and I am not going to give up without a fight. If this therapy can be of any help, then I am prepared for the consequences." She turned back to the window staring blankly at the city lights a far and tracing hearts in the fog.

Jack nodded accepting her decision. He knew there was no way to change her mind, but he still believed it was a mistake.

I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I can believe


That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

"You don't like me much do you."

Jack turned to look at her; her voice was so faint he wasn't even sure he'd heard her correctly. "I don't know you well enough to make that assumption."

"It wasn't a question, it was a statement," Kathryn eventually turned towards him. "Regardless of that, I am going to be honest with you. There are exactly four people in the world that I trust right now and they are all in this house. Agent Bristow, I am not my mother. I know that she is a horrible person and she hurt you and Sydney very much, but she hurt me too and I won't forgive her for that. "I know that for your daughters sake you will protect me, and I thank you for it. But I'm not afraid of you. You can't intimidate me into anything. I make my own decisions where my life is concerned, but I will take your advice under consideration. Agent Bristow you are one of those four people that I trust, and I will do what I can to help. More than anyone else, I want this to be over. I want my life back.

Jack almost smiled, she had guts. She adjusted the blanket pulling it down over her legs. "How's your arm?" He asked.

"Hurts like a bitch, but I'll live," she shrugged eyeing the plastered masterpiece.

"You fought well," Jack said suddenly. "You did very well, very few people can defeat men more than twice their size and you did with a broken arm, I was very impressed."

"You knew," she said confused. "You took me to that shooting range because you knew I could shoot. I didn't lie, I don't remember ever shooting before-"

"I know," Jack interrupted her. "I knew you didn't remember, but I took you to the shooting range to see how good of a shot you were. You were obviously trained at some point in time and then your memory was 'altered.'"

"How did I do?" She asked.

Jack let out a reserved smile. "Perfect shot"

Kathryn smiled secretly turning her head to face the window. "Did you find my cat?" she asked a few minutes later.

"What?"

"My cat, she's all black her name is Cleo, when you were at my apartment in New York did you see her?"

"No, The report never said anything about a cat," he shook his head. "But I'm sure she's fine, someone's taking care of her," he added gruffly.

"Sure," she turned back to the window. "It's pretty out here, in LA," she whispered.

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Jack watched her for several minutes; she was quiet, reserved. It was a side of her he hadn't really experienced. She didn't have her guard up; she was fragile, broken. He had no doubt she was imaging what her life could be like, if all of this had never happened. He took note of the she was sitting, her knees pulled up to her chest, her chin resting on them.

"You should sleep-"

"I'm not tired."

"You're scared-"

"Excuse me?"

"You always sit like that when you're scared," he pointed at her legs.

She didn't respond.

"No one will harm you tonight Kathryn, I promise you that." He stood up leaning over her he gathered her in his arms. Cradling her close to his chest he carried her across the room to the bed. "If you intend to go through with the hypnotic therapy session tomorrow, you need rest."

Kathryn watched him confused and surprised at his sudden change as he set her down and pulled the blankets up around her shoulders and lifted her broken arm onto a pillow to reduce the strain on her shoulder.

Never again
Would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe


That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe.

Jack reached over and turned out the bedside light. "Wait," Kathryn caught his hand as he turned to leave. "Will you stay?" her voice quivered reminding him of when Sydney was a child and she would ask him to chase the monsters out from under her bed. "Please," she whispered. "Just until I fall asleep."

Jack looked down at her; all he could see was his daughter when she was little. Kathryn reminded him so much of Sydney, so much of what he'd missed as she grew up. "There aren't any monsters here Kathryn."

"They're in my head."

Her eyes begged him. They were so full of fear, she was afraid to fall asleep; afraid the monsters would haunt her dreams, even though she knew they would. Jack pulled a lounge chair over beside the bed and sat down. He took her hand between his. Hers small and delicate, his large and rough. Strong, that was how it felt to her. Finally she shut her eyes.

Jack did keep his word. He held her hand until she fell asleep, but he didn't let it go until dawn broke the next morning. He held it throughout the night and early morning, through her whimpers and cries as the monsters invaded her dreams and her tears stained the pillow.

Come to me now
And lay your hand over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe


Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know its true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key


Never again
Would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe


That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall……….
Believe

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